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1.
"I don't think this is a good idea," Minato says.
After Kushina finishes stomping around the room, huffing and throwing things in his general direction (thankfully they are soft. Like pillows and things. Minato is nothing but mindful when it comes to weapons in the bedroom), Kushina flops on the bed beside him, glaring.
"Well why not?" Kushina says.
"Well," Minato says, and he wonders how he can put it delicately, that he's not that much into bondage and he's definitely not that much into pain, but then again neither is Kushina and he has no idea where she got the idea from.
Kushina grumbles, "Mikoto likes it," and then, "and it's getting boring! And no offense, if you can't get out of a stupid pair of handcuffs then you're not much of a shinobi."
Minato waffles between hurt feelings and indignation, because for one, he definitely could escape from a simple pair of handcuffs, of course he could, but also because he thought he was good at their lovemaking, he thought she enjoyed it. He's flushing and staring at his hands when Kushina covers one tight fist with her hand.
"It's just," and she squirms up against him, lightly kissing his ear. "It just seems like fun, you know?"
"What part about tying me up seems like fun?" Minato asks.
"I dunno," Kushina says. She's still speaking against his ear. "Just the idea of tying you up. Having my way with you. That sort of thing." She traces a light circle against his thigh in a move that's probably meant to be seductive, but makes Minato more ticklish instead. Kushina glares.
"Oi!" Kushina says. "I'm trying to seduce you, stop laughing."
"It tickles," Minato says. Kushina grins.
"You trust me, right?"
"Of course," Minato says, and Kushina's hands slide underneath his shirt, palms flat around his waist. And even if he doesn't like the handcuffs, Minato does like where this is all starting to go.
xXx
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Kushina is snoring. Which normally Minato doesn't mind, he actually finds it endearing, in fact - but she is snoring on his naked chest, her body flopped on top of him and his erection still trapped inside her.
"Uh, Kushina?"
Kushina snores. Minato cranes his neck - his hands are cuffed to the bedpost behind his head, and with her body stradling him, he can't do much to move - and he says, more loudly. "Kushina! Wake up!"
Kushina snores, then cuddles him, pausing to press a sleepy kiss against his chest before passing out again.
He should have known this would happen. Kushina always fell asleep after she orgasmed, and this time was no exception. Usually if she was the one on top, he would roll her to the side and cuddle her a bit, before getting up to clean himself before going back to bed. This time, though, with his hips pinned down and his arms above his head, Minato can't do much except wriggle his hips: he pushes his ankles up against the mattress, trying to roll her over.
"I told you this was a bad idea," Minato says, and he tries to roll his hips in a way to pivot her off of him. It doesn't work, and it bends his penis into an uncomfortable position. "Kushina, wake up-"
"Mm," Kushina says, and sleepily she begins to rock around him again. Minato grits his teeth - his penis is definitely not supposed to bend like that! - and then Kushina comes again, shuddering slightly before falling back asleep.
Minato is a tactician. He is used to reading the flow of battle, the minds of his enemies, and using to his advantage the strength of his allies.
There is only one way to wake her up.
After a tense few minutes of re-negotiating Kushina's body to a straighter angle, Minato sighs, sets his jaw, then uses all his strength to start thrusting up inside of her.
xXx
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2.
Whenever they make love, Kushina closes her eyes.
"Why do you do that?" Minato asks her one day, and Kushina shakes her head and suddenly seems very interested at the crack in the ceiling, avoiding the question so much so that Minato has to move to stand in front and ask again, "...What? Kushina, I was just curious, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because," Kushina says, and her face furrows.
"Because you make faces," Kushina says, finally.
"What?"
"They're actually pretty hilarious," Kushina says. She brightens suddenly, as if remembering a funny joke or a particularly amusing anecdote. "You scrunch up your eyes and your nose starts to crinkle, and your mouth gets all open and slack, and it kind of looks like you're constipated." And then, "They kind of distract me, sometimes."
"...oh."
There is a long, awkward moment, where Minato hovers between fleeing into the next room or burrowing himself into the nearest hole, when Kushina squeals and hugs him, hard.
"I like it when you pant, though," Kushina says. She sidles up to him close, kissing his cheek. "All those sounds you make. I like closing my eyes and listening to them. It makes it easier to come."
And she kisses him. It's soft and long and he feels her tongue probing his mouth, and when she climbs up onto his lap, he doesn't stop himself from letting out a startled sound.
xXx
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The tripod she's mounting is making Minato nervous. Battle-nervous, actually, the kind where his heart thuds hard in his chest and his throat is tight, but Kushina gives him a sweet little kiss then a swat on the backside, promising, "It's just to show you!" followed by a "don't you want to know what you look like?"
"Not particularly," Minato says, and he wonders once again why his wife is so hellbent on embarrassing him. (It's practically a requisite part of foreplay. She's told him as much: "It turns me on to see you blush!")
Kushina is fumbling with the camera and Minato knows, knows it in his bones, that this is a Very Bad Idea, that no good can come from videotaping what should be a very private, very discreet, thing, that he loves her and he wants to make her happy, but he's also pretty sure this is yet another ploy to make fun of him, and goodness knows his feelings were hurt the last time, when Kushina told him flatly that he should try pulling her hair once in a while, and then yelled at him when he accidentally yanked out an entire chunk.
"Someone could use this to blackmail me," Minato says, and Kushina rolls her eyes and tells him he's getting a fat head, before reluctantly and very disappointedly putting away her camera.
xXx
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3.
The first time they sleep together, Minato is so nervous it almost never happens.
The second time they sleep together, Minato is too surprised to be nervous, because Kushina had tackled him against the bed and pretty much has her way with him.
If one were to ask what Minato's most embarrassing, most humiliating moment was, it would be without a doubt the time when Kushina yelled, "THAT'S THE WRONG HOLE" while a baffled and extremely nervous Minato tried to make love to her the first time.
He gets better at it with practice, though.
xXx
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4.
"I...hmmm. Hey. You've been down there a long time," Kushina says (well, more pants then says, because Minato takes one long suck against her clit, and her foot jerks against his shoulder). "Isn't your jaw hurting?"
"I'm fine," Minato says. He delicately wipes his chin, then moves the pads of his fingers over the top of her clitoris, stroking her thoughtfully. "You don't like it?"
"I do! But you don't look like you're having a lot of fun."
"I want you to feel good." He dips down again, carefully mouthing her clit and resting his hands against her hips for traction.
"Hey," Kushina says. She pants. "Hey. Hey."
He looks up, just in time for one harsh jerk of her hips, and Kushina cries, "I didn't tell you to stop," and she all but shoves his head back between her legs.
He doesn't tell her, but she looks even more beautiful whenever she comes.
xXx
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5.
He is going over a stack of correspondences when Kushina bursts into his room, announcing loudly, "I'm going to go down on you!" and Minato nearly falls out of his chair, because it's almost loud enough to reverberate throughout the Hokage compound and the guards are stationed just outside the door.
"Why?" Minato says, though more like sputters, because all of a sudden Kushina is pushing him back into the chair and tugging open the buttons of his pants, and his very shocked, very flaccid penis is being massaged at the center of her palm. "Kushina, what are you-"
"I told you," Kushina says, and she glares at his penis, angrily. "I'm going to-"
"I know, you said it, please don't say it so loudly, please?" Minato hopes the guards will make a discreet exit. He hopes Kushina had locked the door.
"You're such a prude," Kushina says, and his penis is free, wilted and equally as nervous as Minato is feeling at that very moment. "We haven't had sex for almost two weeks now, and it's driving me nuts!"
"You're pregnant," Minato says. He's bewildered. Everything makes him feel bewildered.
"I'm pregnant, not celibate," Kushina points out, and she grabs his penis in a vice grip, something harsh and chaffing and not at all very arousing. "Dammit-"
"Kushina-"
"Is it because I'm fat?" Kushina says. She's still holding his penis. Minato frowns.
"No, it's just-" and she's staring at him again, and Minato tries to chose his words, carefully. "-it's just that I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do, plus I heard sex is painful when you're pregnant, and also orgasm can cause early contractions, and ow, Kushina, can't we talk about this at home?"
"You're an idiot," Kushina says, and she lets go of him to lick her palm, thankfully wetting her hand before sliding her thumb and forefinger up his shaft. "It makes me feel like a fat cow, not being able to please my husband. I saw you," Kushina says, accusingly. The pad of her thumb digs against the head of his penis, making him begin to harden. "Whacking it off when you thought I was sleeping! Why didn't you just wake me up?"
"I-" Minato swallows. Kushina is doing things with her hand that makes it difficult to think. "I didn't...I didn't want to wake you."
"Idiot," Kushina says again, and she dips her head low, taking him into her mouth.
The conversation stops. There's nothing but the creaking of the chair and the muffled, determined noises Kushina makes as she slides him into her mouth, her tongue pressed against the underside of his glans. She starts to drool a little. "You don't...you don't have to go that deep."
"Es okae." His cock fit perfectly in her cheek. "Eye wahn to."
"Kushina-"
"Hokage-sama." The doors open and Kushina yelps and hides under the desk, and Minato fumbles, thankfully still sitting behind the desk and clutching the scrolls, tight. "We need to speak with you."
"Can it wait?" Minato says. Under the desk, he hears Kushina trying not to laugh.
"I'm afraid not, Hokage-sama. The Hyuuga are requesting an audience. Evidently they are unhappy with the new zoning policies that are taking effect."
There is a kunai at their home with a summoning seal attached to it. Briefly Minato considers activating his jutsu, except the ANBU squad leader in front of him would probably wonder why their Hokage would randomly disappear.
From beneath the desk, Kushina snorts. Minato all but kicks her with his foot.
"A moment," Minato says, and with all the authority and gravitas he can muster, he adds, "I have things that must be attended to, first."
"Yes, Hokage-sama." The captain salutes, smartly.
They leave the room. Minato sags and Kushina giggles, crawling out from under the desk and resting her chin against his thigh.
"You're still hard," Kushina points out, and before he can stop her she puts him back into her mouth.
xXx
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6.
Minato likes it gentle. Unlike Kushina, who seems to enjoy fancy acrobatics and flavored lubes and sex toys that look like new age sculptures, he likes it slow and tender, pressing soft, little kisses on her neck and jaw.
But the truth is, Kushina likes it slow too, but it's sappy and stupid and she likes embarrassing Minato too much to let on.