(A/N): This was a challenge by a friend of mine. So don't read and think that I'm insane. This is my very first parody fic so please, be gentle. I apologize for any mistakes. Please, review! I want feedback!

"You…are seriously messed up, Mandy!" Emily was sitting across from me giving her best "what the hell is wrong with you" look.

"I am not! The plan worked didn't it!" I shot back defensively. I took a look down at our guest and sighed happily. Even when he was unconscious and tied to a chair he was still an angel. He was mumbling and started stirring around in his sleep. He blinked his chocolate brown eyes a few times and lifted his head. He looked around the room quickly and frowned. He struggled against his bonds but it was useless. I had made sure they were tight enough to-

"What the shell is going on!" He yelled. His eyes darted between me and Emily several times. "Who are you people? Where am I?!" He demanded authoritatively. I smiled and felt my heart melt at the sound of his voice. So deep, mature and controlling.

"What the-….are you narrating? Will someone please explain this to me!" He yells looking around desperately for someone to answer him-

"STOP THAT! You, what the hell is wrong with your friend?" He ask turning towards Emily, who's standing in a far off corner giving him a pitiful look-

"Mandy! He said stop narrating. Ugh, Let me take over for a bit." I shove Mandy away and over into a corner then clear my throat before introducing myself.

"Oh god…what is going on…"

"QUIET YOU! I'm trying to explain!" I yell. He glares at me but doesn't say anything so I continue. "First off, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Emily. The crazy chick over there is my best friend Amanda, Mandy for short."

"Okay, nice to you Emily." He says with a kind smile and a nod.

"Hey what about me?" Mandy whines from the corner.

"You are deranged! It is no way a pleasure to meet you!" He says narrowing his eyes at her.

"But-

"MANDY! Do not make me get Prilla!" Her mouth clamps shut at the mention of my 13 pound ratapin dog who always attacks her when she visits.

"My, apologies. Okay, so where was I…oh yeah! I'm Emily, and that's my deranged friend Mandy. I would imagine you want to know why you're here instead of back in your own universe, Leonardo."

"Yeah I would…wait….how do you know my name?" He asks.

I snort and point to Mandy who's in the corner giving the mutant turtle flirtatious stares. "You're like all she ever talks about. She's totally obsessed with you."

"Um….okay then…that's….disturbing. But go on."

"Alright, so here's how this all started…Just look over at the wall so you can see the flashback…."

"Okay, please remind me why I'm helping you do this?" I asked. Mandy was putting together the last part of the dimensional transporter she had been working on for the past few weeks. It was all part of an elaborate scheme to travel to an alternate dimension and kidnap Leonardo…a and I can't believe I'm saying this….a teenage mutant ninja turtle. I probably would've given her props for cooking up such an elaborate plan if she wasn't so screwed in the head.

She had spent a lot of time planning ahead. First she made sure to study his route. Each night Leo and his other brothers go out on patrol around Manhattan to make sure no trouble was going on. They would always split up and patrol on different parts of the city. Leo would always go to central park. Alone.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold up a minute." Leo says. I glare at him for interrupting me but I allow him to continue. He turns to Mandy and says, "Hey…um….Mandy right?"

"Oh my god! You know my name!" She sequels.

"That's because I told him your name, dumbass. Now stay in the corner and let him talk!" I yell at her.

"Thanks, Emily." He says. He turns back to Mandy says, "Okay so…Mandy? How do you know where I patrol? And about my brothers?"

"Oh that's an easy one!" Mandy says perking up. "You see in this universe you don't exist….well you do exist but not in real life. You're fictional."

"Um…okay then go on."

"You and your brothers, Master Splinter, April, Casey, Shredder, etc…; you are guys are all fictional characters in a television show. A very popular television show at that, so don't feel like you're being stalked or anything. There are millions of people who know about your private life.

"Mandy, you're not making him feel any better." I say rolling eyes my eyes.

"Got that right." Leo says giving Mandy a cautious look. He turns towards me again and says, "Go on."

"Thank you. Now where was I? Oh, right. So she found out that you go around central park alone all the time…"

"Alright, so you know the plan right?" Mandy asked me as we hid behind a bench and watched as Leo leaped from tree to tree keeping an eye out for any trouble.

"You, mean the really stupid, elaborate one that I let you talk me into because you're my best friend? Yeah, I remember." I say.

Mandy smiles; oblivious to my negative attitude. "Great! Now when he's distracted, shoot the dart at him. Then we drag onto the transporter and get him back to our dimension before his brothers suspect anything."

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Just go." I mumble loading the tranquilizer into the gun. Mandy squeals and gives me quick hug before crawling from behind the bench and onto the pavement. She stands there for a moment before yelling, "Oh no! I'm all alone in Central Park! I hope no Purple Dragons or any other dangerous criminals attack me while I'm out here all on my own! I'm just a helpless teenage girl! I couldn't possibly be able to defend myself!"

I can only slap myself in my head as I her watch her poorly done monologue. I'm thinking that there's no way it would work when I hear snickering and the sound of several footsteps making their way over to where Mandy was standing. She looks up with a big smile on her face and gives me a thumbs up. Before beginning another rendition of her terrible acting.

"Oh no! I'm surrounded! Someone please help me! Anybody! Help!" She cries as she backs up into a tree. The five gang members who I'm assuming are Purple Dragons. I dunno, I don't follow TMNT, close in on her as she backs up. Just as one of them is about to grab her, a six foot, bipedal turtle wearing nothing but elbow pads, knee pads, a scabbard, a scabbard strap and a blue bandanna wielding two katanas jumps, ugh this is a kids show?! Who the hell let's their kid watch a TV show about a naked mutant who runs around New York city slicing up thugs?! That's messed up on so nya levels...but I digress. Anyways, the nudist mutant jumps down in front of her and takes a defensive stance.

So this is Leonardo? I think to myself. This is the fictional character she's been gushing over for the past few months. I watch as she stares at him, beaming as if she just won the lottery.

"Back off! You want her you have to go through me!" He yells authoritatively. Behind him Mandy swoons and sighs happily. Leo looks over his shoulder to check on her. "You okay?" He asks with concern.

"Better than you could ever imagine." She says dreamily. Leo raises an eyebrow….eye ridge….I dunno. I'm still trying wrap my head around the whole naked ninja turtle aspect. "Umm….okay." He says wearily. He turns head back towards the Purple Dragons who are debating with themselves over whether or not they should attack. Finally one of them lunges and Leo delivers a kick to his stomach and sends flying backwards and crashing to the ground right on top of one of his henchman. Another one charges and Leo punches him in the face before kneeing him in the stomach and flipping over. He flips his swords a few times and smirks. "Who's next? Plenty more where that came from."

"Let's get outta here!" One of them yells and they all run away leaving Leo, Mandy and the two unconscious purple dragons alone on the pavement. Leo sheaths his swords and looks over at Mandy who's still beaming. "I should get going now if you're okay. Be careful getting home." He says.

Mandy's eyes widen in panic. "Wait!" She cries. Instantly Leo turns around and is by her side.

"What is it?" He demands.

"Umm….uh…." Mandy puts a hand on her forehead and makes a swooning noise before purposely fainting. Leo catches her around her waist and lifts her into his arms looking down her "unconscious" body in concern. She looks at me over his shoulder, and mouths to me, "Pull the trigger!"

I swallow hard and turn my head away, squeezing my eyes shut before raising the gun and pulling the trigger. I hear a grunt before a thud. I look up and he's lying on the ground unconscious at Mandy's feet.

"Yes!" She cries jumping happily in the air. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

I watch as she bounces around joyfully. I look at the unconscious mutant lying on the ground, and I must say, that even though I don't really care much for TMNT, I feel sorry for Leo. Poor guy was just out doing his job, minding his own business. He thought he was doing the right thing. He thought he was saving an innocent girl from being gang raped. But instead, that "innocent girl" turned out to be a bat shit crazy fangirl from another universe.

"Come help me get him onto the transporter mat." Mandy says taking one of his arms. I roll my eyes for what has to be the billionth time that evening and walk over to Leo and grab one of his arms. I strain under his weight. He weighs a ton but I manage to support him on my shoulder and we carry him over the transportation mat and set the course back to our own universe. The entire time, Mandy giggled and planted kisses all over his unconsious face. I really do question why I'm friends with her sometimes...

"And that's how you got here." I finish.

"Oh…my…..God. That is so messed up! I demand you let me go!" Leo yells angrily struggling against his bonds again.

"But, Leo you can't leave. We're meant to be together. Forever." Mandy says creepily as she makes her way over to Leo. She goes behind the chair and wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes him in a tight hug. "We'll be so happy together Leo! We can married and then we can raise hybrid human-turtle babies to be ninjas!"

"Ugh, get off me you crazy bi-

Suddenly, the transporter mat starts up and there's a flash of light and then in front of me are three other mutant turtles. They're dressed the same way Leo is except the head bands are different. One of them, is wearing a red and has these two fork things in his hands. He looks beyond pissed off and is poised to attack. Another one wearing a purple bandana is armed with a Bo staff and is looking around the room trying to make sense of his surroundings. The third one, is wearing an orange bandana is armed with nunchukus and his are darting back and forth between Leo and Mandy. I recognize them as Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo from the episodes of TMNT Mandy forced me to watch.

Raph turns towards me and points the tip of his fork thing at my throat. "What the hell is goin on here!?" He demands in a thick Brooklyn accent. I raise my hands in surrender.

"This was all her idea! I was only an accomplice!" I blurt out. Mandy looks at me and has a look of utter betrayal on her face. "Sorry, Mandy. But I'm getting not killed because you're a crazy ass fangirl!"

Mandy's eyes narrow at me before she turns her attention to the other…*sigh*…teenage mutant ninja turtles.

"Okay first of all, how the hell did you guys get here! And second of all. OH MY GOD! I'M A HUUUGE FAN!"

"Huge fan? What's she talking about?" Don asks giving his brothers curious glances.

I roll my eyes. "You're in dimension where you guys are fictional TV/comic book/ movie characters. You have tons of fans, mainly fangirls." I say. Raphael gives me a confused look. His sai is still pointing at my throat.

"Fangirls! That's totally awesome! Are you one of them? Cause you're hot!" Mikey says winking at me.

"Unfortunately, no. I'm more of a Sherlock fangirl. But the crazy girl over there loves you guys." I say pointing to Mandy. She finger waves and gives Mikey a huge smile.

"Sweeeet." Michelangelo says waving back, causing Mandy to giggle.

"Wait a minute," Don lowers his staff and gives me a questioning look. "Are you narrating?"

"Yeah; these girls are seriously screwed in the head. Well at least this one is." Leo says glancing up at Mandy who's still hugging him.

"Guys! Focus!" Don says.

"How did you get here!" Mandy yells again. She squeezes Leo a little tighter and pulls her closer to him causing him to gasp for air.

"After Leo went off the grid we checked central park and found the transporter mat. You must've forgotten to set the transporter mat goes with you when you set your destination. We just used the last coordinates and it bought us here." Don said simply.

"Dammit! I knew I was forgetting something!" Mandy said angrily.

"Enough small talk!" Raph says. He grabs my arm and pulls me into a headlock, and then points the tip of his fork thing at me head.

"It's called a sai! Stop calling a "fork thing". And stop narrating god dammit it's annoying. Now look, psycho bitch, either you hand over my brother or your friend's brain gets shish kobobed." Raph growls.

"C'mon Mandy! Is Leo really worth it? I'm your best friend!" I yell.

Mandy looks torn. "Um….uh….um….."

"MANDY!"

"Shut up! I'm thinking!"

"Hey, Mandy?" Leo says gently. Mandy's torn face turns into an ecstatic one and she beams down at him and bats her eyelashes. "Yes, my sweet?"

"I'm gonna hurl." Raphael mumbles.

"Ha! That's nothing. You should've see how she was before she kidnapped him. He's like all she talks about. Leo's so hot. I wish I could marry him! Blah. Blah. Blah." I say rolling my eyes.

Leo and Mandy ignore us and continue talking. "You know I think you're very nice girl."

"YOU DO!" Mandy shrieks.

"Yeah, I do. You're clever. You're sweet. You have an amazing personality." He gives her a smile and even though I'm though I'm not in love with him, I must admit made my heart melt a little.

"Why thank you." Leo says happily.

My face flushes red and I scold myself. I really gotta stop narrating.

"Yeah, you really should." Don says agreement.

Raph just rolls his eyes and glares at me as I continue to narrate then says, "Amazing personality? What the hell are you talking about? She's kidnapped you. She's insane!"

Leo just ignores and turns back to Mandy. "Ignore him. Now where was I?"

"You were complementing me." Mandy says twirling her dark brown hair around her finger. She manuvers around the chair and plops down on his lab.

"Oh, right. Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" Leo says giving her another million dollar smile. Mandy giggles and flips her hair. "No. How beautiful am I?"

"Very. Your beauty is equivalent to that of a freshly bloomed rose on a spring day." Leo says. Mandy giggles again and beginnings bouncing happily. When she looks up at me beams Leo eyes dart to his brothers and then over to Mandy. I don't know what it means but apparently they get it because they nod.

"You guys know what? I think I might like it here. Just me and Mandy together forever. But we're gonna have to make it official."

"How?" Mandy asks furrowing her brow.

"With a kiss." Leo says smoothly.

Mandy blinks several times gaps at Leo. "Are you serious!? You wanna kiss me!"

"Why, of course I do. I mean, who wouldn't. Just close your eyes and pucker your lips." Leo says.

Mandy squeals again. "I can't believe I'm about to do this!" She says. She looks over at me and gives me a triumphant look. "And you said it would never happen! You said I was crazy! WHO'S THE CRAZY ONE NOW, EMILY!"

"Still, you." I say dryly.

Mandy narrows her eyes at me but does not respond. She reaches into her pocket and takes out a box of ice breakers that she said she was saving for just this occasion. Who would've thought it would actually come. She pops and ice breaker in her mouth before puckering her lips and closing her eyes. The second she does Michelangelo and Donatello sneak behind her.

"Leo I'm waiting- hold on Mikey and Don do what?!"

She opens her eyes and whips her head around but before she's able to retreat Mikey grabs her arms and pins them then behind her back before slamming her into a wall and pinning her there. "Let me GO! HE WAS GOING TO KISS ME!" She screams. She begins struggling against Michelangelo's grip and he tries his hardest to contain her.

"I can't hold her for long!" Michelangelo says before Mandy throws her head back and hits in the….mouth? beak?

"It's a beak." Don says looking at me.

Beak. Okay then. Mandy throws her head back and hits in his was giving him a very hard time and it was becoming painful to watch.

"For crying out loud you're a ninja man! She can't even do a decent push up" I yell.

"Oh right!" Michelangelo says. He turns Mandy around and elbows her in her stomach before delivering a roundhouse kick to her jaw that sends her tumbling to the ground. Once she's down he goes over to Donatello and helps him untie Leo. A few seconds later the ropes fall to floor and he springs out of the chair just as Mandy sits up.

After thanking his brothers Leo turns towards to Mandy and his expression grows dark. He grabs her by the front of her shirt and pulls her to her feet before pinning her against the wall. "I….I….don't understand….I thought we….I thought we were gonna kiss and…..I thought were gonna live happily ever after…You….you…lied…to me. You're not supposed to lie! You're an honorable ninja! What did I do deserve such horrible treatment?" Mandy says.

"You kidnapped me! And you ever do it again, or even think about doing it to one of my brothers you'll regret it!" Leo snarls. Mandy's lips twitch into a smile. "God ,I love it when you get angry. It's so hot."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! I'M NOT REAL IN THIS DIMMENSION! PLEASE, GET SOME HELP! THIS IS NOT HEALTHY!"

"Tell me about it!" I say with a sigh.

"Oh yeah! Well I can think of you in whatever way I want to! And if you don't like it, then too bad! Cuz there's thousands of us out there, heck hundreds of thousands! Maybe even millions! And you will be ours someday! Leo's not the only one! All of you have fangirls! And you can fight as much as you want to, but you'll never defeat us! Not all of us! YOU WILL BE MINE SOMEDAY LEONARDO HAMATO OF THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! YOU WILL! BE! MIII-

Mandy is cut off but Leo's fist connecting with her face and knocking her unconscious. Leo scoops her up and carries her over to the chair he was once in before tying her down tightly with the same ropes. Once he's done he back and stares her down with a scowl in his face. He mutters something in what I'm assuming is Japanese.

"Glad that's over." Leo says taking a deep a breath. "Let's get out of here."

"What about her friend?" Raph asks. He hadn't let me out of the headlock yet and-

"WILL YOU SUHT UP!" He yells.

"I'm sorry but someone has to narrate this thing!" I yell.

"What thing- You know, what? Screw it I don't even wanna know. Let's just get out of here. For every second we stay here, I lose an IQ point." Don mutters.

"What do we do with Borris Karlof over here?" Raph asks.

"Let her go. Emily's somewhat innocent in all of this." Leo says waving a dismissive hand at me.

"If she's innocent why didn't she try stop psycho bitch over there from kidnapping you?" Raph challenged tightening his grip and causing me….to…gag….making…it….harder….to…..talk…and….breathe…

"She's best friend. She did it because she felt she had too."

"How do you know that?"

"She narrated it."

"Oh, of course she did…so, let her go?"

"Yes, Raph let her go."

Raphael...releases me and...I….struggle….to catch my breath.

"You okay?" Leo asks looking me over curiously.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You guys should get going before she wakes up." I say. "You guys don't wanna be here when she wakes up." I say warningly.

"Right." Leo says. He and his brothers head over to the transport mat but Michelangelo hangs back giving Mandy worried glances.

"What's wrong Mikey?" Don asks.

"You think what she said is true? About there being other girls like her out there? Thousands of them?" Michelangelo said with a worried look on his face.

"I hope not….I mean….just one of them was enough trouble. Just imagine what thousands would put us through." Don says, his face becoming full of worry as well.

"Well if they wanna come, then they can bring it! I'll be ready for a fight! YOU HEAR ME YOU CRAZY BITCHES! YOU WANN A PIECE OF ME YOU'LL HAVE FIGHT FOR IT!" Raph yells to no one in particular. Suddenly there's screaming coming from outside. We all look around as it closer. The screaming is high pitched and…..feminine.

"Oh no….oh God no their coming!" Michelangelo says hiding behind Leo.

"What…how would they have found us!?" Don cries.

There's the sound of dark chuckles coming from the side of the room where Mandy is. We all look over to her and she's sitting her chair laughing maniacally.

"You! What did you do!" Leo yelled.

"They sensed you. Fangirls always know when their true love is near. They've known ever since I bought you here. It just took them a while to arrive. But they're here now and there's nothing you can do about it! You can't defeat of all! Not even you Raphael!"

"Guys we gotta get of here!" Leo says. He lets his brothers climb onto the transmit just the door begins to get pounded on. Leo is about to climb on but before he's able to climb on with them, the door breaks down and several screaming girls wearing shirts that say "I Love Leo" barge in and grab him and try to pull him out of the room. "LEO!" His brothers cry in unison.

"GO! SAVE YOURSELVES!" He yells as the crazed fans begin dragging him out the room by his legs. Raph and his brothers dive onto the ground and grab Leo's arms as they try to pull him back. The guys were strong, but the fangirls were stronger and soon enough all three of them were being dragged along with their brother.

"You have to let go! It's no use! Leave me!" Leo yells. His brothers are about to protest but before they can the windows break and more fangirls of every kind pour in. Michelangelo fangirls, Donatello fangirls…and the Raphael fangirls….dear lord the Raphael fangirls. They were by far the worst. They were every where. The poor guy did his best to fight them off but soon enough, he was swallowed by the mob. Soon all four of them were pulled into different directions of the room. Each of them buried under hundreds of fangirls.

"Sisters! Come and aid me!" Mandy cries from her chair.

One of the fangirls, a blonde girl wearing a blue bandanna looks up.

"I hear you sister!" The blonde says. She runs over to Mandy and yanks of her ropes with implausible strength, Mandy stands and gives the blonde a nod of thanks before they both take off and dive, literally dive into the pile of Leo fangirls. I'm looking around hopeless. I see Raphael try and climb over some of them only to be dragged back down. For a moment only his hand sticks out but soon enough that disappears too. I'm looking around desperately when finally I get an idea. I knew who to go to. She'd been in charge the entire time.

"Aster Sapphire you have to stop this!"

There's a pause before she responds. "Why should I? It's great! I'm having so much fun writing this!"

"But is it worth seeing them get destroyed! If you don't stop this madness the turtles won't make it!" I cry.

"I can do whatever I want with this fic! And what I want is some TMNT vs. Crazed fangirl action. You have to admit this is awesome."

"A c'mon Emily even you have to admit this is fun to watch."

I shake my head. "No not anymore! Please, just stop this! I'm begging you! They aren't gonna last much longer! This is getting sad! I'm not even TMNT fan and I feel bad for them!"

"Why should I do anything? Like I said it's my fic. What I say goes!"

"Because…because…you're a fangirl! And you if don't stop this the turtles, won't make it! And that means that no one, including you will ever see them again!"

"My god…you're right…what have I done!" Aster Sapphire says in a panicking voice.

"You made a mistake! But you can fix it! Get rid of them and let the turtles go! If you really care for the turtles when let them live in peace!"

Aster Sapphire sighs. "Oh you're right…fine….I'll do it."

I smile. She's silent for a few moments then suddenly the fangirls begin disappearing one by one until. None of them knows what's going on. Soon enough the only ones left in the room are the turtles, Mandy and myself. The four of them are covered in lipstick and there bandanas have been torn to shreds. Their weapons are gone and they look as if they were all hit by a bus. They struggle to get to their feet, their eyes wide with fear.

"Dudes….that was like…the scariest thing ever." Mikey said rubbing his head. Don was trembling his as wide as deer's when headlights are approaching. "There were so…..many of them….."

"What the hell are you complaining for?! Mine were vicious!"Raph said. His condition was terrible. There was lipstick all over him, on of his knee pads were gone, there were claw marks on his skin. Poor guy. "Where did they all go?" He asked.

"Who cares!? They're gone! Let's go while we still can!" Michelangelo says.

"Mikey's right. Let's book." Raph says. They all get onto the transmat. Donatello pushed a few buttons and they all faded away back to their universe. I give Mandy a dirty look.

"Well I hope you're proud of yourself!" I scold.

"Hey, I'm not the one writing this story! You wanna blame someone blame Aster Sapphire."

"Whatever." I mumble. I bend down and set the transmat pad to self-destruct and after 10 seconds it explodes.

"Why'd you do that!" She yelled.

"So that you won't do something else so stupid again. You screwed up today. Big time!" I say authoritatively. "So, do you think they'll be safe from the fangirls now?"

"I don't know. If they are than their lucky. But if there aren't….then God help them." She says. I slap her in the back of her head. "That is so cliché. C'mon, let's go get some food. All that fangirl craziness worked an appetite. You up for taco bell?" I say offering my arm.

Mandy smiles and slips her arm into mine. "Sure thing bestie. Split a quesadilla?" She says. We begin making our way to the door. "Deal." I confirm.

"I still can't believe he didn't kiss me." She mumbles.

"Oh for CHRIST sakes Mandy!" I say slapping my forehead. Being sure to slap hers as well.

Fin.

(A/N): Well? What'd you think? *nervously twiddles thumbs*