okay, so this is the first teddy/victoire i've written, i think, and it's for vicky's (blurs of red and blonde) birthday. happy 18th, vicky! you're such an amazing person and i'm really glad we've gone back to talking more, recently, as you're a really wonderful person. i hope this fic isn't too bad, and that you enjoy it!

okay, so this is a bit weird and incoherent in pieces, but i hope you enjoy it! :)

She doesn't want to go back to Hogwarts without Teddy.

It had to happen eventually—she knew that—but she'd wished that maybe the time wouldn't come so soon, because now she's standing on Platform 9 ¾ and Teddy is kissing her and she wants to cry but she can't because that would ruin everything. She's not having their last moment ruined by tears because then he'll try to comfort her like always, but then she'll cry even more because that's what always happens and—

She doesn't want him to leave the Platform and head off with the Weasley-Potters. But he will, he'll walk off with them, perhaps buying an ice cream for Lily or changing his hair and facial features to amuse all of them. She doesn't want to board that train without Teddy; she won't—

But she will, of course, because Hogwarts is everything to her, and she needs to go back. It just won't be the same.

He'll write to her, of course, but she won't be walking through Hogwarts wondering if Teddy Lupin notices her new hair-style, or if he appreciates the fact that she wears her skirt a little bit shorter than necessary. If she drops her books there won't be Teddy running to her to pick them up for her, only to drop them all over again (and in a more careless way).

"I promise I'll wait for you," he tells her.

She smiles at him, feeling his hand in her hand and memorising the exact way his face looks on that very day—it'll be the last view she has of him for a while.

"I know," she replies, smiling before she boards the train and pretending that she's not wishing this was a cheesy romance movie so Teddy would run alongside the train, waving.

Because he doesn't. He stands there, smiling, and Victoire's on the train and it's taking her away from him and, Rowena, she misses him already.

Hogwarts won't be the same without Teddy Lupin.

.

She returns and she's smiling for a while because she remembers why she loves Hogwarts so much. The horseless carriages take her and her friends closer to Hogwarts (and further away from Teddy, but she tries not to think that) and she's wondering what they'll have for the feast and if Hagrid will mind if she pops down to his cabin the next day, and if Molly will finally work hard and not spend all her time pulling pranks and stealing things from the kitchens.

The new students are sorted into their houses, and she claps politely for each of them, paying special attention as Rose is sorted into Gryffindor and Albus into Ravenclaw. She's glad she has another Weasley-Potter in Ravenclaw with her—her sister went into Slytherin and her brother into Hufflepuff—it will be nice to not be the only Weasley-Potter there.

The ghosts sweep in as usual and Victoire smiles at The Grey Lady. She notices the ghost looking towards the Slytherin table, and Victoire follows her line of vision.

All of the ghosts are present, except for the Bloody Baron. She wonders where he is. She notices Helena leaving the hall and, curious, Victoire stands up and follows her, regardless of the fact that she's hardly had a bite to eat. She'll find Molly later and ask her to track down some more food from the kitchens for her.

Curiosity killed the cat the little voice in the back of her head reminds her.

She doesn't really care.

.

Victoire has always been fascinated with the ghosts at Hogwarts. They seem so ethereal to her—drifting through the school as if being dead is a mere trifle, a fact that is rarely taken into account and always looked over. She's wondered herself if she would ever come back as a ghost. She'd love to, she thinks, although she wonders if the life gets repetitive. She wonders if it is a cowardly thing, to become a ghost and never move on to the place where most other mortals go after death.

She doesn't really care if it makes her a coward, to be honest. She's fairly certain that there's a reason she was never sorted into Gryffindor.

Besides, Teddy has courage enough for both of them, right?

She silently curses herself for her mind tripping back to Teddy—it always does, in the end, but she'd wished she could hold out a little longer.

Her mind always goes to Teddy, in the end. No matter what.

.

The hallways are dimly lit, as the castle does not need to be fully lit whilst the students are still in the Great Hall. The light shimmers and flickers, and Victoire can't help herself from thinking that perhaps this is the time that the castle is at its greatest—when no one but the absent ghosts and weary portraits can hope to see it. She stumbles down the hallway, trying to spot which way Helena went, or to find the Bloody Baron herself.

She knows that it's dangerous, going after the Bloody Baron, especially as a Ravenclaw, but she can't really bring herself to care. Besides, he's a ghost—what's the worst he could do to her? He's always been a subject of intrigue for her, and for every student, really. She wonders if there is something deeper, beneath the chains, the blood and the awful groans.

She thinks—hopes—that there is.

She is afraid that there isn't.

And so she walks down the halls, watching the lights dancing along the walls, the portraits stare at her—for what student would want to miss the feast? —and all she can hear is her heartbeat and she's wondering what made her stupid enough to sneak out of the feast. She's a Prefect, for Rowena's sake, she's supposed to lead the new students up to the Ravenclaw dorm. Of course, there's always Nathan Davies, but he's not exactly the most sociable of people—Victoire can't fathom why he was chosen as a Prefect at all.

She has an hour to find the Bloody Baron and get back—tops.

Wow. Her first night at Hogwarts really isn't going to plan.

.

"You know what you did," a voice says at the end of the corridor.

Victoire freezes. It sounds like The Grey Lady is speaking. Perhaps she's found the Bloody Baron. She doesn't know why she's so scared—perhaps it is because, for once, The Grey Lady sounds threatening, as though she has some sort of power over the person she is speaking to.

"Of course I know, Helena," another voice snaps back, but it's shaky and Victoire almost wants to cry for the man who speaks.

"You'll never be able to forgive yourself," Helena mutters, as though there's a hint of pleasure in knowing that fact.

There's a pause, and Victoire feels like she almost stops breathing for a moment. In that moment, her mind begins to realise that the man speaking is the Bloody Baron. But the Bloody Baron isn't scared of anyone—no one has anything against the Bloody Baron that could make him almost scared of them.

But, no, it's not that he's scared. It's that he's sad.

"Why did you follow me?"

"The Slytherins looked lonely." Helena murmurs.

Victoire can almost feel the Bloody Baron's look of contempt, even though she's only hearing their conversation. "Why?" he asks again.

And Victoire is standing there and waiting because she wants to know the answer too—

"I missed you," Helena replies.

"You did?" the Baron asks. "Why?"

"No matter" Helena tells him. "It's foolish of me, really. Illogical."

She leaves, swooping past Victoire.

Victoire pins herself against the wall, heart beating rapidly, scared that Helena has spotted her. Helena pauses for a minute, breathes, and then moves on. Victoire lets out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"I know you were listening," a voice speaks to her.

It's not The Grey Lady. It's the Bloody Baron.

"I have to go," Victoire squeaks, and runs off before the Bloody Baron begins talking to her, and she races off down the hallway, making sure she doesn't run into any walls or do something stupid—there's no Teddy to save her this time.

She's a bit annoyed with herself, to be honest, as she sits back down at the Ravenclaw table, just as all the desserts disappear. She went off to investigate and found out a little, but only ran off when she had a chance to find out more. If only she had Teddy with her—he'd have stayed with her, gone with her to find out more, no matter how stupid the idea was. Teddy always went along with Victoire's schemes—he was always the one that told her she was clever.

Victoire knows one thing, though. She's not giving up until she finds out exactly what The Grey Lady—because she can't really think of her as Helena—has on the Bloody Baron, and exactly why the two ghosts were leaving during the welcoming feast for a conversation like the one she just overheard.

When Victoire wants to find something out, she always does. It's just a matter of how.

.

"I promise I'll wait for you," he tells her.

"I know," she replies.

In her head it's blur, though. What if he doesn't wait? What if he finds another girl because a year is an awfully long time to wait and she's sixteen and he's eighteen now and he's been saving himself for her but that's an awfully long time to wait isn't it—

She boards the train and she's looking back at Teddy and he's smiling and waving but then—

The Bloody Baron is in his place. He's standing here, smiling—but eerily—and clanking his chains, staring at Victoire like he wants something from her and she's screaming and Rowena, she feels like she's going to be sick or pass out or something and please help her PLEASE—

The Bloody Baron comes closer. Victoire takes a step back and she's screaming even more and suddenly everything—even the train—has disappeared and she's standing in a hallway with the lights dancing on the walls, flickering in a time that nobody can see.

"I know you were listening,"

She takes another step back, until she's right against the wall, shivering from the fear.

And then she's falling, falling, falling and she doesn't know where but there's Teddy and the Bloody Baron and The Grey Lady and—

She wakes up.

She's sweating and still breathing heavily, and she feels as if she landed on her mattress, and she's still dreaming, despite the fact that everything is much more lucid than that dream-world, that assures her she is awake.

Victoire Weasley does not have nightmares.

It's three in the morning, but Victoire knows that she won't get back to sleep, and even if she did, she'd probably have the dream again, so she gets out her transfiguration book and begins re-reading what she'll be learning this year.

It was just a dream. It doesn't mean anything she tells herself.

So why is she so scared?

.

The next day begins as normal, and soon the week is gone by in a blur of lessons, food, silver and blue. Victoire seems to notice the ghosts more, watching them flit from classroom to classroom, fly down the hallways and appear through tables. A lot of them seem to have a pattern—appearing in the same places at the same time—and it does Victoire good, helps her clear her head, to document it.

The Bloody Baron, however, sticks to no schedule. One day he'll be clanking his chains in the Astronomy Tower, the next, he'll be hurtling through the hallways at top speed, terrifying the first and second years and making the other years shiver.

She does wonder why he didn't go after her when she ran away—he could have easily caught up with her and waylaid her. Every single student of Hogwarts knows that the Bloody Baron's dark side is perhaps the most prominent side of him, so why didn't he stop her?

Is it that he didn't want to? Was he merely too tired that night? Victoire knows that that's a stupid theory—nothing stops the Baron, and he never turns down the opportunity to stir things up.

The only logical explanation she has right now is that maybe he needs her for something. For what, she doesn't know.

She needs to know the answers to the questions she's asking because it's almost agony not knowing the truth. She wishes she could ask The Grey Lady, or consult a book, but it's pretty obvious that the history, feelings, and the reasoning behind the action of every ghost are not in Hogwarts: A History, or in any of the other books present in the library. She would try the restricted section, but she's fairly sure there will be nothing their either.

It will be a challenge. But it's one that Victoire will take on.

Besides, it helps to have something other than her mind than the consistent repeat of Teddy Lupin and the thoughts of Teddy and Victoire and Victoire Lupin and the fact that Teddy is probably starting his Auror training and Victoire, the coward, is still at Hogwarts, searching for answers to an impossible question and miles away from Teddy.

She misses him.

The Bloody Baron sometimes helps her forget exactly how much she wishes Teddy were still at Hogwarts.

.

The Astronomy Tower seems to be The Bloody Baron's favourite place to go at night.

Thankfully, Victoire has Prefect patrols and so she's able to be out of bed after hours—she'll just have to work out how to get rid of her patrol partner, Nathan Davies.

Nathan seems to be the most infuriating person ever to exist, or, at least, according to Victoire. His father once went on a date with her mother, and so Nathan seems to think that Victoire and him are either sort of siblings, or are destined to be together. To be honest, Victoire wishes he'd just decide one or the other—otherwise his ideas about the two of them seem sort of incestuous.

He's always jabbering away about nonsense things on their patrols, sharing his most recent theories with Victoire and she usually struggles with not punching him because, as well as being incredibly annoying, he's the most obnoxious person she's ever had the misfortune of meeting, and seems to think that every single idea he has is the best thing since sliced bread.

Luck is in the air, as Peeves swoops past, chuckling to himself about some crime he's about to commit, and Nathan goes running after him. Victoire ducks behind a suit of armour, and stays there until she's sure that Nathan is running fast enough to not think about Victoire not being next to him.

The Astronomy Tower is only a floor up from where she is, and so she climbs the stairs, her heart beating faster than ever before. She's never been alone in Hogwarts at this time, before, and with five and a bit years of magical training under her belt, she knows that it's not exactly the safest place to be at night. She manages to avoid the trick steps and not walk into any cleverly disguised walls, which is always a plus, and then reaches the Astronomy Tower, knowing that that is the most dangerous place to go.

She hovers for a moment outside the door, wondering what she'll do if the Bloody Baron isn't there. She also wonders what she'll do if the Bloody Baron is there, for although she is a Ravenclaw, she didn't plan ahead, not knowing what sort of plan could possibly prepare for what she is about to do.

There are many rules of Hogwarts, and Victoire is sure that one of them must be to never ask the Bloody Baron about his life (or death). She's probably breaking a few hundred fundamental Hogwarts rules, but she can't bring herself to care.

Knowledge is everything Victoire tells herself no matter how, you must achieve it.

Taing a deep breath, she ventures into the Astronomy Tower, equal parts of her wishing that the ghost she seeks will or will not be there.

(If only Teddy were here, she thinks.)

.

He's there. Victoire knows it before she even sees him—he can feel that he's there. It's in the wind, perhaps, that sings of danger and loss and betrayal, or maybe it's the fact that the room seems icy cold.

"Hello?" she speaks out into the darkness.

There is a silence, but it seems like an answer to Victoire, and so she speaks again. "I've come to talk to you,"

She's terrified on the inside, but she doesn't let her outside show it, not letting one shiver or scared expression onto her face. She's not brave, but she'll have to be, for this.

"Who are you?" the Baron's voice speaks out, even though Victoire cannot see him, yet. She suspects that he's made himself invisible, probably to frighten her.

"Victoire Weasley," she says. "Ravenclaw house, sixth year. Daughter of Bill and Fleur Weasley, sister to Dominique and—"

"I do not care about the excess information," the voice rings out again. "Victoire Weasley."

"Will you answer my questions?" Victoire says; standing up tall and hoping she seems braver than she feels.

"You're afraid." the Baron comments. "I can almost smell it. You're not showing it but I can feel it—just like you can feel my power,"

She wants to scream, to run, but she can't because all of her answers lie within this one man, and dammit, she wants to know. Because the Bloody Baron is afraid of nobody, and everyone is afraid of him, but on that night he was sad. And Helena definitely had power over him, and Victoire knows there's more than meets the eye.

"I'm not afraid of you," she says, and maybe if she says it enough times, she'll believe it.

"Do not lie to me!" the Baron roars, and Victoire stares at him, and realises that she perhaps has more bravery than she thought.

Victoire steps closer, ignoring every instinct of hers to run away as fast as she can. "Okay," she begins. "I'm terrified. But I need to know what The Grey—what Helena has on you,"

"Why?" the Baron asks. "Because you need to know, or because you're curious? Because there's a burning thirst for knowledge inside of you that just can't be extinguished. You Ravenclaws—you have to know it all. You've got to know the most, search the hardest, and read for the longest."

"Knowledge is power," Victoire says defiantly.

"Why is it, I wonder, that Slytherin is known as the evil house?" the Baron ponders. "Nobody suspects a Ravenclaw, do they? Nobody sees that knowledge's power is perhaps the most dangerous power known to man."

Victoire stares at him defiantly. "Not if it is used correctly,"

"Oh, but is it ever?" the Baron counters. "Of course, you all begin that way, but that thirst inside of you just won't go away. You'll defy anyone—even those you love—to feel that power,"

And Victoire is standing there and wondering if, like everybody says, if the Baron is truly mad. She wonders how he knows so much about Ravenclaws and why he is so insistent that knowledge is some sort of evil. More questions are appearing in her mind and she has to know the answers.

"I need to know," she tells him.

"You want to know," he corrects her.

There is a pause and Victoire swears that the Baron appears for a second, before flickering out again, like the flames that danced on that first night of Hogwarts. She wonders if he'll ever tell her what she needs—or perhaps he is right, what she wants to know.

(If only Teddy were there—he'd know what to do.)

Suddenly, she knows exactly what to say because she feels it there, like she has to know to save herself.

"I do need to know," she tells him. "It might just save me,"

Then, the Baron truly does reappear, standing—floating—there in front of her, and he's there and Victoire has never felt as terrified or truly thrilled in her life.

"From who?" the Baron asks.

For there is the killer thing, the thing that Victoire has known all along, yet deep inside of her—it has only come out this moment. She's almost afraid to say it, and hesitates before doing so, but knowledge is power and the Baron must know.

"From myself,"

.

The next day her head is spinning so much from the knowledge that she decides she'd never be able to concentrate on her lessons, and so she fakes sick and spends the day in her dorm, writing down everything the Baron told her about himself and Helena, making sure she doesn't miss a single fact.

At the same time her head is at war with her heart, because she wonders if knowledge really is power or if it is all that the Baron made it out to be—something that consumes people, that they begin to believe they can never be whole without.

She certainly doesn't agree with everything that the Baron says—a lot of it is frightening, and almost certainly exaggerated from his experiences, but she gets what he is saying. She wonders if one day she'll betray her family and the ones she loves in order for knowledge.

The fire, the thirst he speaks of, she has felt it. It's almost like a monster, deep inside of her, craving more knowledge and books and facts and solutions and stories, almost as though when she pours them in, it will finally be content. Except, it never is, is it? Every time she feeds it with knowledge, it ends up craving more.

She's never been scared of it before—she thought it was natural—but now she isn't so sure that it's okay.

And so she writes, and writes, and thinks and ponders and drives on, trying not to be plagued by thoughts that the thirst she feels is unnatural, unsafe. What if she is driven to insanity, stealing things and flying off to other countries and—

Her thoughts seem more fevered and unnatural, twisting and turning and falling around in her head as though her head is simply too small for such huge concepts and oh, Rowena, this can't be natural because she's spinning and then—

She's gone.

.

White sheets. She can almost hear the sound of illness, touch the air of insanity and hear the voices whispering. She vaguely wonders where she is but then she can't bring herself to care.

She's forgotten something, she knows. Thing is, she doesn't know what she's forgotten. It must be huge, though.

She drifts in and out of consciousness for a while, seeing more in her dreams than she does when she's awake. There's Teddy and there are ghosts, the names of which she can't remember and Teddy and then he's yelling at Madam Pomfrey and—

Is she awake or asleep? She doesn't know.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you in," says the curt voice of Madam Pomfrey.

"Just for a minute, I have to see her!" Teddy yells back.

Victoire stirs, beginning to suspect that she is actually awake and maybe Teddy really has come to see her, although she can't think what might warrant Teddy coming all the way to Hogwarts just to check in on her. She's in the hospital wing, but it can't be serious, right?

"She's being transferred to St Mungos, tomorrow, if she gets no better," Madam Pomfrey informs him. "You may be able to visit her then, but she's not well enough—she hasn't been conscious for longer than five minutes and certainly hasn't spoken,"

"You at least have to tell me what happened," Teddy says, his voice beginning to show aggressions. Or is it that he's being protective? Or worried, or scared, or frightened or in love or what?

A sigh comes from Madam Pomfrey. "We don't know. She was out on patrols, and was separated from her patrol partner. The next day she didn't go to lessons, then her dormmates found her unconscious. We haven't been able to speak to her yet,"

"Surely you have your suspicions?" Teddy asks.

"Not any that I am authorised to tell you,"

There is a pause, and Victoire lies still on the sheets, wanting Teddy to come in, wanting him to just run past Madam Pomfrey and screw all the consequences and just come to her and see her and talk to her. But she knows it's not a cheesy romance film and so he doesn't. She listens in on their conversation for a while, and he leaves.

Even though he never came in, she feels alone now that he's gone. Why didn't he fight harder? Why didn't he come to see her?

She hasn't admitted it to herself yet, but she is scared. She's scared that she'll never remember what happened to her, scared that the spinning in her head and her senses and emotions mixing around will never cease. And she's scared that Teddy won't see her again because if she's like this then who would want to see her?

She wants Teddy there. And she wants to remember, even though she knows that the most likely reason she's forgotten everything is because her mind is unable to cope.

.

Her parents visit, sometimes. Dominique and Louis are usually by her bed. She's in St Mungos and she still doesn't know what's going on. She hears whispers of Teddy, sometimes, and that is when she perks up the most. She doesn't speak—not because she can't, but because she won't.

There's something missing and she knows that it's Teddy but there's also something else, something bigger. Because she knows that Teddy isn't the reason she's like this, there's something else behind it all. But what?

Knowledge is power she tells herself. She knows that phrase has something to do with it, something big and powerful; something that's knocked her over like a tidal wave. She knows that it's something big, something that seems to have invaded her mind and everything that she is and it's all a huge mess and—

Teddy.

She misses him. She wonders why he never comes to see her. There's a part of her that suspects that he may not be allowed, but there's a bigger part telling her that he doesn't want to come and see her anymore.

And she wonders what drove her this way because it's something mad, something frighteningly unreal and—

She doesn't know anymore.

Some days she's happy because she's safe and alive and others it's TeddyTeddyTeddy and everything else seems to be irrelevant. Others, she feels the emptiness inside of her and wants answers, although answers to what, she's not sure.

She begins to speak to people, but she doesn't remember. It's as though a whole night has been wiped from her mind—she begins the beginning of her prefect patrol, and she remembers waking up in the hospital, but everything else is… gone. Everything in between seems to have been wiped from her memory, and she's beginning to notice other gaps, too.

Everything stays the same, with no improvement, no change until one day. Until her dorm mate finds a stack of notes underneath Victoire's bed, and after quickly skimming them through, realises they are of importance to Victoire's health. Like any Ravenclaw, she copies them first before sending them on to people who can help Victoire.

That is how Victoire finds herself being asked questions by a man in a white coat and with a sinister smile. Of course, he's not trying to be sinister, but he looks it. His sympathetic smile is so fake, so plastic that Victoire can see right through it, and she doesn't hesitate to tell him so.

He laughs as though Victoire is making a joke, and scribbles something down on his clipboard.

"So, Victorie…" he begins.

"Victoire," she corrects him.

"Victoire," he begins again. "I hear you've been having some problems."

And it's all so stupid that Victoire begins to laugh. Because, of course she's been having problems—she's been missing an entire night from her life because she can't remember a thing, and she's numb and cold mad and afraid and Teddy and—

And she's laughing but then she's crying and the stupid, stupid man is just sitting there because he knows nothing about her, absolutely nothing. And then she's taken back to her room and perhaps they think she's crazy because they don't try to talk to her again for a while.

It's nice, the quiet. But Teddy.

.

They've figured out what's going on with her, Victoire's known that for a while, but they won't tell her anything. She hears them whisper things like triggers and mind games and shutting out memories, but that's all she hears and no matter how hard she tries to piece them together, she's not getting much more than she had already figured out.

Sometimes she gets flashes of memories but they disappear almost as soon as they come. The Astronomy Tower seems to have something to do with it and something about a screaming and a threat and a diadem and knowledge is power. Above all, that is what she remembers. Knowledge is power.

Knowledge is power.

And then she remembers.

Of course, it's not all straight away, no. It filters back in to her memory in a blur of knowledge is power and a deadly thirst deep within her that threatens to consume and kill and destroy everything she's ever loved and everything she ever will love and—

And then she screams. She's remembered what drove her crazy. Because it wasn't just the Bloody Baron saying that because he's driven her crazy, he's purposely done it because maybe he is evil after all—

Or maybe he's just alone. Maybe he can't be good because he has nothing to fight evil for and so he is evil himself.

And Victoire is stuck there thinking and then the thirst for knowledge comes back and she realises that it's greed and everything in one thing and then—

Then she stops.

Because she doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't know why she's believed everything the Bloody Baron said. She doesn't know why she's in a hospital bed in St Mungos just sitting there because she is afraid.

Afraid of herself, she remembers. She's afraid of what she will do.

And she breathes.

And she stops and thinks and thinks and thinks and thinks—

And, again, she breathes.

She doesn't know what she's doing and she's stuck at just why she's gone like this and then it rips through her like the monster she thinks she is and Teddy.

Teddy.

She looks up and he is there.

Standing in the hallway, his hair coloured turquoise—Victoire's favourite. His jeans are turned up and the collar of his shirt is low and he's smiling and he's walking towards her and wow.

Because he's back and she's missed him so much and everything seems so fragile, so tiny and insignificant in that one moment where it's just TeddyandVictoire and nothing else, absolutely nothing even comes close to mattering because what else matters when everything crashes into oblivion?

"I missed you," he mumurs.

She looks at him and will him to come closer. "Why didn't you visit?"

"I was afraid," he tells her, and he's looking at her and she's looking at him and—

"I love you," he says.

Victoire looks at him and he looks back and her and—

"Do you?" she asks. "Do you really?"

"Yeah," Teddy tells her. "I mean, really. And I'm sorry I didn't visit you. I was stupid."

"I'd figured that out," Victoire mutters.

And it feels like it's back to normal, just their usual banter, the two of them laughing and joking and the sarcasm and the wit come back into play and everything is as it used to be—

But it's not because Victoire is in a bed in the mental ward at St Mungos and Teddy is training to be an Auror and everything, everything has changed.

But there's one thing that hasn't changed. Because he's still Teddy and she's still Victoire.

He's still Teddy and she's still Victoire. That's all that matters.

.

It gets easier, over time. She remembers it all and she's not so scared anymore. They try to make her talk to counselors, but she won't talk to anyone about it.

Except Teddy, of course. And it's okay to talk about it with him because he'll hold her hand and push back her hair, and hug her when she's crying and dry her tears himself. And she can't help but think just how lucky she is to have Teddy there for her, after all she's done and all she's been through, Teddy is there, right there and she couldn't be more grateful.

"That thirst, Victoire, it's not evil," Teddy tells her one day. "It's natural."

"But you know what it did to Helena Ravenclaw, Teddy," Victoire says. "It drove her crazy—she died because of it!"

"No," Teddy replies. "She died because the Baron was a selfish, anger driven man. She didn't die because of that mistake she made,"

Victoire looks at him as though she wants him to go on, and so he continues.

"We all make mistakes, Victoire. It doesn't matter whether you make it because you're too proud, or too loyal, too willing to put yourself into danger, or if you have a thirst for knowledge." he pauses, taking his hand in hers. "What matters is that there's always someone to get you out from those mistakes. Who has your back, no matter what. Who won't judge you when you make a wrong step."

"I'm afraid," Victoire says. "You don't know what it's like to have that monster,"

"We all have monsters, Victoire," Teddy reminds her.

She looks up at him, and she really sees him. Everything that is Teddy, every little thing that makes up him is there and she knows she's not alone.

"What monster do you have?"

"Pride," Teddy says. "If I die as an Auror, it will be pride that takes me in the end."

"Don't say that," Victoire replies quickly and sharply. "That's not going to happen,"

Teddy smiles. "I'll try very hard to stay alive,"

Victoire glares at him. "Again, don't say that,"

And it's not back to normal but they're back to some form of normal, and what was ever normal about Teddy and Victoire in the first place?

It's with some form of contentment that they spend the rest of the day together, laughing and joking and not mentioning the fact that Victoire's going to have to re-do sixth year, making them stay apart for another few years, not mentioning the fact that Teddy has nearly finished Auror training and so he'll be out in the field, not mentioning the fact that Victoire is still officially 'crazy', because the two of them are together.

Maybe it's only a night, but for that moment, it's enough.

.

Gradually, Victoire begins to get hints that perhaps, soon, she'll be able to shed the white gown and move back into the real world. She hears staff muttering about 'that Lupin boy' and how whenever he appears, she always perks up. It's nice, she thinks, that other people notice how she feels when she's around him.

People do still tread lightly around her, avoiding the topics of Hogwarts and the Bloody Baron, and yet Victoire doesn't really mind if she does talk about the Bloody Baron to people other than Teddy, now. She found out her answers—right? And that's all that matters. Perhaps that thirst for power, for knowledge, cursed her to be like this, but she's learnt a fundamental lesson.

And, no, it's not that she shouldn't go sticking her nose in where it isn't needed because she'll get hurt.

It's that when she does make mistakes like that, she needs Teddy to help put her back on track.

He is the only one who truly makes it better.

And so she leans in and kisses him. There were a million thoughts spinning through her head before, but now there is only one. When she draws apart from Teddy, she says it to him.

"I love you,"

.

And she's standing on the Platform and she's ready to go and retake sixth year, but this time she doesn't want to cry about leaving Teddy behind, so badly. He might not be with her, but he's always there for her.

"I promise I'll wait for you," he tells her, just like before.

She smiles at him. "I know,"

And this time, she really does.

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