From The Heart

She had been feeling unwell for a number of weeks, but had put it down to stress – Graham's death, Emma Swan and her damn inability to keep away from her son, Mr Gold in the background as a constant threat – she hadn't slept properly for so long, no wonder her health was suffering. She had made a mental note that morning to have a restful night in; take away and film night. She was sure that would put a smile on Henry's face!

But all of that planning seemed to go out of the window as she felt Emma's hand grasp her arms to stop her hitting the floor. One moment, she was stood outside Granny's telling Emma that she was not to see Henry that evening and the next, her vision seemed to blacken at the edges and she felt herself falling. Emma was in mid-shout as she saw Regina's eyes roll in her head, but was quick enough to rush forward to catch her before she hurt herself on the hard pavement.

The street seemed suddenly deserted and with no one to help her, Emma half dragged-half carried Regina to her car and after making sure she was strapped in, set off for the hospital. By the time she reached the hospital, Regina had come round, and grateful as ever, was yelling at Emma for overreacting and demanding she be taken home. Emma was taking no chances though, and in she went to see Doctor Whale.

Emma had no idea what went on in that room between Dr Whale and Regina, but when the door swung open its hinges creaking with the force, Dr Whale looked pale and terrified and Regina was bright red and spitting nails. Emma was petrified. As Regina stalked off down the corridor, Emma shared a wide-eyed look with the doctor, before running after the sound of fading heels against tiles.

The ride back to the mansion was silent. Every time Emma tried to talk, ask a question, start up any sort of conversation….she was met with a silent glare….. Even as she got out of the car, not a word was uttered, so Emma followed her to the front door, utterly surprised when Regina left the door open for her to follow her in: but Regina ran straight upstairs leaving Emma alone in the entrance wondering what to do.

She had just a quick warning to prepare herself before Henry threw himself at her and for just a moment Regina upstairs was forgotten as Henry threw a dozen questions at her while pulling her into the living room to watch the end of his cartoon with him. Emma sat, relaxed on the sofa with her son, as the cartoon played out on the tv and Henry explained what was going on to her, her mind wandered upstairs to Regina and the news from the doctor that had got her so upset.

As the next cartoon came on, Emma explained to Henry that she was just going to check on his mom and that he should stay where he was. Emma was worried that whatever the news was, Henry shouldn't hear it. She slowly climbed the stairs, listening for crying, things being thrown in temper, anything to indicate which bedroom was Regina's, but she was just met with silence. A worrying silence. So she pushed open each door until she found her – sitting quietly, perfectly still on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall. Now Emma was truly worried – Regina hadn't acknowledged her when she opened the door. Or when she gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. Or even when Emma put her fingers under Regina's chin and guided her face to look at her. Her eyes were blank, staring, unblinking….if eyes were truly a window to the soul….Regina was empty.

"What the hell did the doctor say to you Regina? You're scaring me." Emma whispered.

Regina blinked slowly as if coming out of a haze and the smallest voice softly croaked "I….. I'm…..pregnant…".

And then she collapsed on the bed, grief stricken and unwilling to be comforted. Between sobs, Emma could make out "…..Graham…..alone…..he died…..can't…died…..can't do this…..". Emma didn't know what to do, she wasn't good in these situations, but she knew a heart that was breaking, so she ignored her instinct to run and lay down on the bed. Neither woman touching, one lying staring at the ceiling, the other lying curled on her side weeping.

Eventually, Regina stopped crying and her hitched breathing returned to normal. Emma tentatively reached out her hand and laid it softly on her back. And then Regina started to speak quietly, so softly that Emma had to move across the bed to hear her.

"I can't do this. I can't have a baby. Not another one on my own. Graham's gone, been gone for months. How would I cope? How would I do it? I can't have this baby."

Emma didn't know what to do, what to say. She knew, from her decision with Henry, that if Regina made this decision in haste she would live to regret it. If she got rid of this child there was no going back and she didn't want Regina to lose the chance to be a mother to her own child that she had given birth to. So she stroked her back, shushed her and told her that she could do it. She had done a wonderful job with Henry, she was a great mother, she was strong and brave and could do it.

But Regina could not be persuaded. She could not do this. There was no way around it. It would not happen. She would make an appointment and see that the problem was solved. And Emma was to never speak of this again.

Emma reluctantly got off the bed, closed the bedroom door and went to find Henry. She explained to him that his mom wasn't feeling very well and that she would stick around until bedtime to keep him company. She didn't think Regina would be very happy about it, but then if she wanted to argue about it, she would have to come downstairs.

She didn't. All evening. So, Emma put Henry to bed, tidied up the mess in the kitchen and living room and went home. Just as she got into bed, she sent Regina a text.

*Henry was gr8 all evning. I'm bak at flat. Hope yr ok. I can come ovr in the nite if u need me. And just 1 mor tme. I no u can do ths.*

Silence from Regina.

For the next week, she tried to talk to Regina to convince her to change her mind. At the diner, her office, outside school, anywhere she could catch her, but Regina would not listen, would not change her mind. She barely acknowledged Emma, turning her back on her every time, never meeting her eyes. She couldn't bear to have Emma see how hard the decision had been and that she could not cope with her life changing so radically. She could not let Emma in.

Until exactly one week after she had fainted in front of Emma.

She had just waved Henry off on a day with his friends at the adventure park. Her appointment was scheduled for Monday afternoon, so she planned to relax this weekend and just get through it. A little bit of gardening, perhaps read a chapter or two of her book and some baking ready for when Henry returned. But first, a shower.

She turned on the shower, hit play on the iPod dock and peeled off her clothes. Blood. There was blood in her underwear. She grabbed a towel and swiped it between her legs. More blood! Too much blood! She started to shake and as tears poured down her face, she did the only thing she could think of. She grabbed her phone and rang Emma Swan.

"Swan!" she cried into the phone, "Help me!".

"What now your Majesty!" Emma threw back at her. She had grown tired of being ignored the last week, and the frosty relationship that they had had when Emma first came to Storybrooke was back.

"Oh help me Emma, there's blood, so much blood…" Regina screamed.

"I'm on my way Regina, are you at home?" Emma rushed around, looking for car keys and grabbing her jacket.

"Please Emma, please hurry. I think I'm losing my baby". And she started sobbing…

Emma smashed the small pane in the back door and took the stairs two at a time. She found Regina in her private bathroom, naked and sat on the floor, head on her knees, sobbing quietly. She hadn't even noticed Emma was there until she had thrown her bathrobe around her and was pulling her up and against her. Regina clutched onto the back of Emma's jacket and looked wide-eyed at her.

She whispered, "I'm losing my baby Emma. Help me please".

Emma picked her up and carried her to the car, the adrenaline of the moment giving her strength she didn't know she had. Every speed law was broken on the way to the hospital, but Emma didn't care. Regina had finally asked for help and Emma prayed that it wouldn't be too late. At the hospital, Emma was pushed outside the examination room and left to wait and wonder. She could still hear Regina crying and although Emma would never choose a positive word to describe their relationship, her heart broke for the woman inside that room.

After what felt like days, a nurse came out and told Emma that she could go in to see Regina. Regina was sat up in the bed, something hooked up to her arm and looking very pale. She was looking down and fiddling with her hands, then fiddling with the blanket, but not meeting Emma's eyes. With confidence that she didn't really feel, Emma strode over to the bed, picked up one of Regina's hands and softly asked "hey, what's the news Regina?".

Regina met her eyes then. Tears continued to fall, and she gripped Emma's hand. "Baby Mills is holding on, they've gone to get an ultrasound machine to get a look". Emma was stunned. Regina's voice had a childlike quality to it. Scared and not at all Mayor like. With her free hand, she caressed her stomach and said, with conviction "my baby is alive, I've heard a heartbeat. I've been given a second chance and I want so much to take it". Emma grinned and with tears in her own eyes said "I know we've never got along. I know you resent me for coming into Henry's life. But I want to help you. You shouldn't have to do this on your own". She raised her hand to stop Regina as she went to interrupt. "And if you want to be stubborn, I'll say this….. let me help you for Graham's sake." "He can't be here, but I can". Regina's reply was halted by the ultrasound being brought in.

True bonding took place over the grainy black and white image of baby Mills. It wasn't particularly clear, but it had a distinct baby shape and Regina thought it was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. As she turned to Emma, she caught her eye and saw her grin reflected there. "Oh Regina, it's amazing" Emma declared as she squeezed her hand "You can do this". "I know Emma, thank you", she squeezed back.

After taking Regina home and staying while she explained everything to Henry (who was incredibly excited about being a big brother), Emma made her way home wondering just what she had got into.

Over the next few weeks, Emma helped as much as she could. She helped out with Henry, she helped out with the more strenuous chores, she helped out with some of the weird cravings, she helped out with anything that she was allowed to do, but she couldn't honestly say that her and Regina's relationship had not improved much at all. Regina was still unhappy about Emma spending time with Henry, she looked over Emma's shoulder and criticised any and every chore she did, never said thank you when Emma found her food craving (even in the middle of the night) and was often just downright rude and snarky! It had started as a name she muttered under her breath, but lately Emma had started saying 'yes Queen Regina' to her face, while Regina just barked 'Swan' at her when she wanted anything.

So when she heard 'Swan' shouted down from upstairs, she didn't think anything of it, just muttered "Yes Queen". When she heard it yelled louder, a second time, she ran full pelt upstairs and into Regina's bedroom. Regina was holding onto the windowsill, tears in her eyes, hand to her belly, staring at Emma.

"Regina?", nothing. "Regina, what's the matter?", still nothing. Emma walked over to her, grasped her wrist over her stomach and said in a soft voice, "Regina honey, you're scaring me, tell me what's wrong!.

Regina grabbed Emma's hand and held it flat against her belly. And there it was, a flutter against her palm, Regina's baby moving around. She looked from where her hand was, to Regina's face and a watery smile greeted her. "That's my baby!" "My baby is okay!". And with that she threw herself into Emma's arms and cried in relief. Emma sank to the floor with her and cradled her in her lap as she leaned against the wall. And as Regina cried out her relief in Emma's arms, Emma dropped her head to gently kiss the top of Regina's and whispered "Everything will be okay, I promise, whatever it takes, we'll make this work".

Emma was happy. For the first time in a long time, she was happy. She had taken up almost permanent residence in the spare bedroom of the Mayoral mansion, which meant she was finally under the same roof as her son. Since feeling the baby kick for the first time, she and Regina had worked out their relationship to become friendlier – although Regina did still have moments of jealousy regarding Henry and Emma's time spent together. But Regina knew they weren't doing it on purpose, in fact they were including her in anything her pregnant body would allow her to be involved in. They called each other Queen and Swan as nicknames and had even started arguing over names for the baby – as if Emma really had a say! But Emma felt she finally had a family.

Emma had a family and finally felt some security. She felt safe. As she lay in bed she realised that she no longer felt the need to run; and hadn't felt that need in a good long while. She had her kid, she had someone who needed her and there was a baby on the way who she had promised that she would be a part of its life. Life was on the up.

She could hear her name being called from a distance ….."Swan!"….. but she couldn't work out where it was coming from. …."Swan!"…. louder this time but….who was shouting at her? Then "EMMA", yelled in her ear, "get up now!". As she opened her eyes, she realised Regina was stood over her bed, having woken her up. "Get up, the baby's coming!".

Emma had been sure that she would have to be the calm one when this moment came. Regina would be rushing around panicking, trying to organise things, and Emma, who had previous experience of course would glide around getting everything they needed and effortlessly getting them to hospital on time. However, the reality was, Emma running around the bedroom trying to find any sort of clothing to change into, panicking because she couldn't find the bag for the hospital, or the keys to her car, looking for her phone; all the while Regina sat calmly on the end of the bed, explaining to Henry what was happening, who he would be staying with and then laughing gently with him as they watched Emma hop around the room trying to get her boots on!

Regina had been genuinely scared for her life as they sped towards the hospital, but once they were there and the doctors and midwife took over, both women calmed down. Labour was just as tough watching it as going through it Emma decided (although she was sure Regina wouldn't agree if she shared that with her). She hated seeing Regina in pain. She hated that she couldn't do anything to help her. All she could do was hold her hand, encourage her and hope that she made a difference somehow. The longer it went on, the more Emma realised that she cared for this woman and just wanted her happiness.

When Regina's little boy finally made his appearance, Emma was sat behind her, holding her knees, so she shared Regina's view as they held him up and placed him on Regina's chest. Both women cried, and Emma was kissing the side of Regina's head and telling her how proud she was of her before she had even given it a thought. When they asked Emma if she would like to cut the cord, Regina merely nodded her head in agreement as if it meant nothing, but to Emma it was the greatest honour given to her and she made a silent promise to do everything in her power to always be there for this little boy, just as she would always be there for Henry.

After the baby was cleaned and swaddled, he was given to Emma to hold while Regina delivered the placenta and was put back together. She whispered to him about how much he was already loved and what an amazing mom he had. She told him about his big brother and how she wasn't sure what role she would play, but she would always be part of his life.

The time came to place him in his mom's arms for the first time and as Regina beamed first at her and then her son, Emma felt her heart melt at the sight. She leaned down to give him to Regina and whispered a kiss across her cheek. Before she knew what she was doing, her head was tilting and she was kissing Regina on the mouth. And Regina was kissing her back. Just a movement of lips, a moan from Emma and a whimper from Regina and Emma moved away from her, head bowed and unable to meet Regina's eyes. Before she took a step away, Regina quickly grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to the bed. Tugging her, she pulled Emma to sit on the bed with her and eventually Emma looked up to meet her eyes. Except she wasn't looking at Emma. Regina was gazing softly at her newborn son, in the way that only a new mom can show such adoration. Without taking her eyes from him, she spoke quietly to Emma "So Swan, what name do you think suits this little one? None of the names on my list really seem to fit him!".

Emma cleared her throat nervously. "Well, I've been doing a bit of research". Regina looked up for the first time and nodded for her to continue, looking her square in the eye now. "I thought it should be a name that reflected both you and Graham. I've looked at names and their meanings from around the world and then I found a word that seemed like it might make a great name for him. Calon means heart in Welsh. This little one is Graham's heart and since the first time he kicked, I've felt like love has been central in every decision you've made. You've brought love back to your little family. Your heart is back and I think it's in part due to this little boy. So I just thought….". As Emma had been speaking her gaze had dropped to the baby, so she didn't have to look at Regina if she disapproved of her name idea.

There was silence, just the sound of three people breathing and soft baby noises. Emma wanted to run.

"Emma".

"Emma, look at me please".

Emma took a deep breath and raised her eyes while keeping her head bowed. Regina was shaking her head. Emma just knew she would hate the idea, she should never had said anything. As Emma was about to say that out loud, Regina put a finger to her lips, gently leaned over and replaced her finger with her lips for a ghost of a kiss.

"You're wrong. It was you who brought the love back to this little family." Regina nodded her head and ploughed on. "Henry hated me, didn't need me, but you started to include me in everything you did together and now we have a great relationship. I was going to get rid of this baby, but you kept telling me I could do it and now look at him. He's perfect". "And you've loved me. Gently and carefully. You've pulled me back together and supported me. I haven't deserved any of it, I've been awful to you, but you've stayed."

Emma moved as if to say something, but Regina held up her hand to stop her. "I don't know if that's how you feel, I don't know where we go from here or even if it's a good idea. I just know that you in my life makes sense. I have two sons who bring me joy and love. And you bring me peace and make me feel safe". "How does all that sound to you?" Regina had never felt more vulnerable.

"It sounds like everything I've ever wanted", Emma beamed. "I'm going to go and get our son Henry, I'm going to bring him back here to see his new baby brother and then when they say you can go, I'm going to take my new family home".

As Emma left, Regina looked back at her new son, Calon. Yes, it was a perfect name for him. Her heart was full with love for her new family. She had a bright future – just her, Henry, Calon and Emma.