The Steps Beyond

Author's Note: Considering this is a sequel to Nightmare Man, I highly suggest you read that one first or you're going to be incredibly confused. In case you can't find it, it's listed as "M" because of a later chapter. Part of this story will be written in journal entries. These entries will not be "written" by the characters on the same day that the storyline is taking place. They may not even be directly related to the storyline in that chapter, but they do provide more information about what they're going through and allow for some smaller events to be known. You'll likely be getting one chapter every other day since I'm still proofreading and this one doesn't have as many chapters.

Chapter One – The End is Just Another Beginning

Olivia's Journal: Entry One

I don't remember much of what happened after we were found. After our chains were broken and we were all escorted out by the FBI. At least I think we were. Much of the time right after was a haze. I know I heard an ambulance and was brought to a hospital, but even my time there is empty. Voices seemed to drift right through me without bringing any comprehension. Cap and Huang showed up and tried to talk to me. I can't even say if I responded or not. For me it was all numb. Numb except for the pain. I wish, even now, that the pain had been physical. It heals so much faster. But it wasn't, and it isn't.

Hotch's Journal: Entry One

A few days ago Neil Harlan, also known as Bill, also known as the BAU's captor, was arrested. The team was medically cleared at the hospital, the only physical injuries being swelling and abrasions to the wrists and ankles. We were released to begin the longer and more difficult part of healing. That is the only reason why this is being put on paper. We were asked to journal to assist our recovery with the clear warning that we would not be cleared for the field without it. Some of my agents need the time that we are being forced to take. One week, preferably two. At least. I don't need that. I returned to the BAU a few days after her death, and I can do so again. My people need to know that recovery is possible. I cannot provide them with that proof if I am forced into extended medical leave. I'm fine.

0~0~0~0

Five hours. They'd been free five hours, yet it felt like they were still prisoners. In a way, they were. None of them would truly be free until they could face and beat down the memories. For now, Hotch would hold his team together as best as he could.

"Guys!"

The familiar voice drew everyone's attention. It was a voice they'd been dying to hear for a long time, pretty much ever since they'd realized they'd been kidnapped. The owner being the person they'd been counting on to save them. Reid.

"Reid," Hotch answered with a nod.

The young agent was beyond thankful to hear the usual strength and solidity in his boss' voice. It gave him hope that the rest of the team would be okay too. When he started speaking it was in a rushed ramble complete with flailing hand motions to punctuate his words.

"Thank goodness you're alright! You'd all just disappeared and none of the statistics seemed positive. They only decreased inversely with time, and I wasn't certain I would find any of you still alive. But you all…"

He was cut off when JJ wrapped her arms around his neck and held tight. She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment, and Reid could feel her trembling gently.

"Thank you, Reid."

"I… um. It wasn't a big deal, JJ. I had to find all of you."

"Good thing you did, kid. We owe you one," Morgan responded.

JJ squeezed Reid's arm and stepped away though there was a noticeable hesitation as she did. She wrapped her arms around herself even though she knew in the back of her mind it said a lot to the others if they were paying attention, which she doubted. Everyone was so caught up in what they'd suffered that there wasn't much room for analyzing others.

"Forgive me for interrupting."

In their heightened states, the sudden new voice caught the entire team's attention, and they all turned their heads toward the speaker. None of them recognized the short Asian man, but they could tell from his suit that he wasn't a doctor. Reid filled them in, apparently knowing the new arrival.

"Guys, this is Dr. George Huang. He's with the FBI branch here."

"I'm looking for Detective Benson," Huang explained.

"You know Olivia?" Morgan asked, curious as to why this man wanted to talk to her.

"Yes. I work with Manhattan's SVU profiling rapists and at times counseling the detectives."

Rossi leaned in close to Hotch and whispered a quick question.

"We really want to sic a shrink on Benson?"

Hotch didn't react to the question, but he was feeling the same way. Eventually the shrinking would come, but they all needed time to process first. For now he could buy Olivia a little bit of time, except Morgan was already on it, though he was being hardly diplomatic about it.

"Back off, man. Leave her alone for a while."

Huang picked up on the reasoning behind Morgan's refusal and held up his hands to ward the other agent off. He wasn't here to make things more difficult for Olivia, and he didn't want to end up in a fight with the agents who had been kidnapped either.

"I'm just here as a friend, not a psychiatrist."

After what had happened Morgan's patience was frayed and he was on edge. Huang's argument only pissed him off and he took a warning step forward. He didn't even realize he'd growled as he did.

"Morgan," Emily called out.

Rossi wasn't going to be quite as gentle as Emily. He simply stepped forward and grabbed Morgan's shoulder.

"Stop."

Morgan's eyes snapped to Rossi's in fury. He had every desire to argue when Hotch made it a moot point.

"She's down the hall. I believe her captain is with her."

Huang nodded his thanks and headed down the hall to check on her. Once he was gone Rossi released Morgan whose simmering rage exploded.

"What the hell, Hotch? You're just throwing her to the dogs? Come on! She may not be one of us but after what we went through –"

"Morgan."

Morgan fell silent but his eyes were still burning. Hotch hadn't been next to her. He hadn't seen how broken she'd been after. Morgan wanted to do everything he could to protect her from more pain, and he thought Hotch would have understood that.

"He's here as a friend, Morgan. She needs someone she knows by her side."

Hotch did understand and wanted the same thing for Olivia. Hopefully Morgan would see that.

"So you pick a shrink, Hotch? If her captain's with her then she's already got someone."

"Morgan, I understand this wasn't the ideal option, but she needs some support."

Morgan was about to snap back a response when Emily cut in to prevent the argument.

"It's already done. You can't change things now."

"Emily's right," Reid agreed. "Plus, as much as you don't want to, it's better to get help right away."

He looked down, a little bit embarrassed. The truth was that Reid knew what it was like to try to put up a front for those you care about when you're hurting so they didn't worry. More, even, than Emily. Even if she'd wanted help, she wouldn't have been able to reach out for it, not that Reid really thought she would have. She hadn't needed to try to hide what she was going through because the team hadn't been there trying to push their way in. They had been there to witness all of Reid's struggles and failures. He hadn't wanted their help, and for the most part they hadn't pushed too hard. Now that he'd moved past that time, Reid almost wished they had pushed harder. It would have helped even if he didn't want it at the time.

Morgan closed his eyes and took a few slow breaths. Both Prentiss and Reid were right, but that didn't mean he had to like it. To him it still felt like they'd hurt Olivia by sending Huang to her more than they'd helped her.

"Are we ready to get out of here?" JJ asked softly. "I really need to call Henry."

To those that didn't know JJ, she would have appeared completely in control. The team knew better though. JJ was rarely that soft spoken. She was on the edge of completely falling apart and was desperately trying to hold it together.

"We'll need to find somewhere else to stay, at least for tonight," Rossi responded. "I'm not going back to that hotel."

The others nodded agreement. Considering it was New York, they wouldn't have trouble finding another option.

"We need to pick up something to eat as well. I don't think anyone could enjoy hospital food," Hotch added. He seriously doubted any of them were in the mood to dine in anywhere either, or eat, but he'd push if he needed to.

"Let's go then," Rossi told them as he headed for the entrance.

"What about Olivia?" Morgan asked. "We have no way to check in on her."

"Don't worry," Reid assured. "I have the numbers to her other teammates."

Morgan seemed to relax a little once he'd heard that. The tension in his shoulders faded some, and he nodded.

"Oh, Morgan. I let Garcia know we'd found you, but she wants you to call her first thing. She was very adamant about it."

"Sounds like Garcia," he answered with a slight smile.

"Let's go," Hotch directed. "We have a lot of phone calls to make."

0~0~0~0

Just as Huang was heading into Olivia's room, Cragen was coming out. Huang pulled the captain aside so they could confer for a moment.

"How is she?"

Cragen rubbed the back of his head uneasily. He really didn't have a very good answer to that question. At times Olivia had seemed like herself, though perhaps a little more detached and professional than she needed to be. Other moments Cragen had wondered where she was since she definitely wasn't in the room with him.

"Quiet," he answered.

"Have you gotten anything out of her?"

"Bits and pieces. Nothing descriptive or personal."

"So we don't have a clear idea of what happened there," Huang surmised.

"Other than the fact that she wasn't harmed physically, no."

Huang nodded. Whatever had happened would have left emotional and psychological scars then. Considering Olivia was a locked safe when it came to talking about her feelings, Huang knew he was in for a real challenge. Even just getting her to share what had happened would be difficult. It was best to get started, though at least for now he wouldn't push too hard.

Huang took a step toward the room before pausing to say one last thing to Cragen.

"If you can figure out what happened to them, do it. We need to know."

Cragen nodded. Like Huang, he knew Olivia would reveal very little if she shared anything at all. Even years later he didn't have much of an idea of what had happened at Sealview. Olivia had locked those details away long ago and wouldn't let anything slip about her time in the prison. Cragen figured she would try to do the exact same thing now.

Huang slipped into the room and watched Olivia for a moment. She hadn't even noticed he'd come in. The look in Olivia's eyes said it all. They were empty, staring off at something that wasn't there. Her arms were crossed against her chest, though he was pleased to see she hadn't tucked her legs up as well.

"Olivia?"

At first she ignored him, and he had to try again. He took a step forward as he said her name a little louder. This time she reacted. Olivia took an almost strangled sounding breath and pulled herself out of her nightmares. She looked at Huang, but it was expressionless, almost like she was looking through him. A sinking feeling washed through Huang.

"Olivia, do you know where you are?"

"The hospital," she answered with a roll of her eyes.

For once, Huang was grateful for the gesture. It meant the real Olivia was still in there. He allowed a small smile to drift across his face.

"Just making sure. I know you've been through a lot." He paused before asking his next question. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Olivia looked at him incredulously.

"Really, George? I was held captive by a guy who fancied himself as a scientist. Of course I don't want to talk about it."

It has sucked, but she had no intention of sharing. She'd be fine on her own. She could handle it.

Huang nodded. He'd expected as much.

"Alright, but we'll still need to talk later. For now though, let's get you home."

Olivia shuddered slightly at the thought of home. Her apartment didn't feel quite as safe anymore, yet she wanted to be there. It was something familiar, and she needed that right now. Olivia pushed herself off the table and stood before heading to the door. Huang questioned what he was about to do, but he needed to know how scarred Olivia was, and she certainly wasn't going to tell him. As she walked toward the door he reached out for her arm to gently guide her. Olivia jerked away with a startled gasp and stared at Huang with wide eyes.

"Olivia…"

"I-I'm okay. I'm fine."

But she didn't look or sound fine. Her eyes were white rimmed and her nostrils flared still. With her stuttering words and tightly crossed arms Huang could tell she was suffering. He held up his hands to ease her worries and keep them securely in her sight.

"Just breathe, Olivia. Try to relax and breathe."

Olivia nodded but she wasn't doing a very good job of following his directions. Her breathing was still coming quick and shallow.

"You're alright, Olivia. Just focus on breathing. Nice and slow," Huang instructed in a soft and steady voice meant to soothe her.

Slowly Olivia came down from her panicked state and was able to really convince Huang that she was alright. She was determined to get home and be by herself. The thought of being in the presence of anyone else was almost painful, and there was only so long she would be able to hold herself together. She couldn't fall apart in front of them.