Pool & Pranks

Ahmose Inarus

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, nor do I make any financial profit off of writing this.

Written for the CCOAC Heatwave challenge.

My assigned characters are: Spencer Reid & Penelope Garcia

My prompts: melting ice cream cone, swimming pool, a bikini top, swim trunks, a thunderstorm, soaring temperatures. I only have to use 2 or 3, but I intend to use them all!

It was one of the hottest summers ever on record. So hot, that even serial killers seemed to be taking a break. The team found themselves with a rare weekend off. As the temperatures soared, SSA David Rossi invited the team over to his house for a pool party. The entire team happily accepted his offer, and arrived at around ten am.

Jack and Henry were immediately in the pool, watched closely by their parents. Will Lamontagne quickly joined them and was soon swimming around the pool with Henry riding on his back, which then required Hotch to enter the pool and become his son's aquatic steed, and the two boys shrieked with laughter as they raced their fathers around the pool. The team, in the mean-time, shrieked with laughter at the sight of Hotch in swim trunks, and then at the man obediently racing against Will with his son on his back, jerking on his hair and kicking him in the ribs and urging him to go faster.

Then there was more laughter when Reid turned bright red after being caught staring at JJ and Emily once they stripped off their clothes and revealed their powder blue and crimson red bikinis respectively. Morgan managed to seize Reid in a head lock and gave him a noogie as a penalty for getting caught ogling his female team mates. Then, Morgan suddenly lifted Reid up into his arms and walked towards the pool. Reid let out a shriek, and this one did not involve laughter.

"NO!" He cried, fighting and thrashing. "MORGAN, NO! NO NO NO NO! HOTCH! HOTCH, MAKE HIM STOP!"

"Off the clock, I'm not his boss!" Hotch called with a grin as he picked up his own son and tossed him across the pool. Jack screamed and landed with a big splash, sputtering up to the surface and laughing in delight.

"Alright, Pretty Boy!"

"NO! I'm still in my clothes!"

"And you're the only one." Morgan pointed out, glancing around as he emptied Reid's pockets. Even Rossi was in a tshirt, flip flops and swim trunks as he started to ready the grill for lunch, while Garcia had just removed her cover up to reveal her sparkly hot pink and electric blue leopard print swimsuit and purple sarong around her waist.

"NO NO NO NO NO!" Reid howled. "MORGAN!"

"One!"

"NO!"

"TWO!"

"DEREK MORGAN DON'T YOU DARE!"

"THREE!"

"AAAAAAAH!" Reid squealed as he was launched into the air. But he managed to catch Morgan's t-shirt and Morgan yelped as he was jerked in right after Reid. There was a massive splash, and the girls howled in annoyance as they were showered. But then they laughed when Morgan and Reid splashed to the surface.

"Hah! You look like a drowned rat, Reid! OW!"

"I hate you so much right now!" Reid snapped, pushing his sopping wet hair out of his face.

"Unca Penna, catch me!" Reid turned at the call, and his eyes widened as Will released Henry, who began to awkwardly dog paddle towards his Godfather. Eyes wide in concern for the young child, Reid quickly floundered over and scooped him up, smiling at the hug that the small child gave him.

"He's learnin' t'swim." Will said with a grin, trying to calm down Reid, who seemed very upset that Henry was in the pool without some type of safe floatation device, and then began to rattle off statistics of children drowning in swimming pools. But Garcia put a cap on that rant quickly, howling at Reid to hush his mouth about depressing things and then bouncing a beach ball off of his head. Morgan lunged for the ball, tossed it into the air and then jumped up, spiking it off of the back of Reid's head.

"OW!" Reid howled, turning and glaring, then yelping as a laughing Henry flailed and flopped out of his arms and began paddling after the beach ball, trying to beat Jack to it. JJ, Emily and Garcia laughed as Reid awkwardly splashed after Henry, eyes wide in worry.

"Do my back?" JJ asked, offering Emily a bottle of sun screen.

"If you'll do mine." She said with a grin, and then she, JJ and Garcia stood in a little triangle helping each other get all slathered up for some tanning, making Rossi quirk a brow as he loaded charcoal into the grill and sprayed it with some lighter fluid.

"What's for grilling?" Morgan asked, lifting himself out of the pool and walking over.

"Plenty." Rossi grinned at his team mate. "I have some good burgers, big and thick and made by yours truly, some nice steak, and some brauts for the kids. And there's also the makings of frozen drinks for the adults with ice cream for the kids."

"The kids being Jack, Henry and Reid, right?" Morgan asked with a grin.

"Right." Rossi chuckled. "Unless you think you can get him to drink a margarita."

"Maybe something a bit more girly, like a daiquiri." Morgan snorted, and he and Rossi chortled as they watched Reid getting dunked by the combined efforts of Jack and Henry.

"Hey hey hey!" Hotch was shouting, splashing over and dragging Jack off of Reid, fixing a stern look on his son. "You do NOT sit on someone's head in the pool! You could drown someone!"

"Sorry, daddy." Jack said penitently.

"Who should you be apologizing to?" Hotch asked, quirking a brow.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Spenner." Jack announced, turning a contrite look on Reid, who had come up to the surface gasping for breath.

"It's okay, Jack. Technically, if you were to drown me I would have had to be under the—"

"Reid… let's not give him that information, please. I don't want him testing it out." Hotch said, giving the younger man a look of annoyance.

"Oh. Right. Sorry Hotch." Reid said sheepishly.

"Unca Penna." Henry announced, dog paddling in circles around the genius. "Why you still wearin' yo' shirt?"

"… Um… Well… Your Uncle Morgan threw me into the pool with my shirt."

"Take. It. Off." Henry said, grinning and tugging at the shirt.

"Put it out in the sun to dry, Reid." Hotch chuckled, reaching up to detangle himself from Jack, who was climbing on him like a monkey.

"I think I will." Reid said with a slight smile. "And get out of my shoes."

"Don't you own a pair of sandals?" Hotch asked, looking down at the warped view of Reid's converse under the water.

"… Not really. Garcia made me buy the swimming trunks on the way over…"

"You don't own swim trunks?"

"… I do now." Reid pointed out, sloshing out of the pool. The girls giggled as he walked by, his shoes squishing pleasantly. "Gee, thanks for the sympathy." He grumbled, pulling off his shirt and draping it over the back of a lounge chair to dry before sitting down and working the wet knots of his shoe laces.

"Oh my God, Spence…" JJ groaned. "You're so pale!"

"You're white like a dead fish." Emily remarked, and Reid gave her a look.

"Sweetheart, you're going to burn so bad in the sun…" Garcia cooed, hurrying over. Reid gasped as she flung a towel over his back and began to dry him off, and then squirted something cold on his back. "Here… I'm pretty pasty myself, I brought several strengths of sunblock… I use SPF 50, but for you? SPF 70." And she began to rub it all over his back and shoulders. Reid managed to get one shoe off, then blinked as Emily got to work on the other while JJ began to slather the sun screen over one of his arms. When she had moved on the next arm, Emily started working on his legs and Garcia was rubbing it over his neck, and then he squeaked as she moved down to his chest.

"Oooh! Ooh! Me next! I want a rubdown!" Morgan laughed, running over and standing behind Emily as if waiting in line.

"You're a pig." Emily snorted, a grin of amusement on her face.

"Me too! Me too!" Jack cried, racing out of the pool to stand behind Morgan, followed by Henry who also mimicked the "Me too! Me too!"

This had the entire team laughing, and it just continued as Emily discovered that Reid's feet were ticklish. JJ was trying to get sunblock onto Reid's prominent cheekbones at this point and kept scolding him saying "Hold still, I'll get it into your eyes!" But finally they had Reid completely covered in sunblock ("This makes me feel so disgusting!") and Morgan presented himself, holding his arms out.

"Ladies…?" He chuckled, and Garcia grinned while JJ and Emily exchanged looks and rolled their eyes. But Garcia humored him and began to rub sunblock into his dark skin, while JJ ticked Henry before starting to get him slathered up, and Emily got to work on Jack. Hotch and Will took the chance to trot to the cooler by the grill and pull out a cold beer for themselves. Then they stood with Rossi, drinking and grinning at all of the laughter coming over from the sunblock session as JJ and Emily kept tickling the little boys. Reid in the mean time pulled a book out of his messenger bag and settled down on a lounge chair, putting on his sunglasses and beginning to read.

"Please tell me yer not gonna let'im do that all day." Will sighed, looking at the antisocial genius.

"He can hide behind his book until the food is ready." Rossi chuckled. "Since I'm the only dry one, Hotch, watch the grill and I'll go get the food!"

"Sure." Hotch said, and Rossi headed for the house. "Emily."

"Yeah?"

"Can I get a hand with some food?"

"Sure!" Emily said, and followed him.

Morgan called after them with a loud "I brought potato salad!"

"I BROUGHT JELLO-SHOTS!" Garcia bellowed happily.

"Oh boy…" Emily laughed, and Rossi sighed and shook his head. They stepped into the kitchen.

"Salad, chips, watermelon…" Rossi pointed at the large bowls and the melon on the counter, as he opened the fridge and pulled out the platters of raw meat. Emily somehow managed to juggle both large bowls AND the watermelon, and they headed back outside.

"WATERMELON!" Jack squealed from in the pool. Emily sat the salad and chips down on the table, then turned and chuckled the watermelon into the pool.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Rossi howled.

"Let them play with it for a bit, and when they're done we'll carve it up." Emily said.

"… WHAT?!"

"You've never played in the pool with a watermelon?" JJ asked, walking over. Rossi shook his head. "I did it all the time as a kid." Rossi watched Henry and Jack playing with the watermelon, then shrugged and took the meat over to the grill.

"I'll grill up the burgers and steaks now, and we'll eat while the kids play, and then I'll make the brauts."

"Sounds good." Hotch and Will said in unison, then looked at each other in surprise, then grinned and clinked the necks of their beer bottles together as the others laughed.

"Boy genius!" Garcia called, and Reid looked up from his book. "Steak, burger or braut?"

"Um… a burger sounds good." Reid said with a smile.

"Margarita?"

"Uh… no, I'm good thanks…"

"There's also lemonade for the kids." Garcia offered.

"That sounds good, thank you." Reid smiled. Garcia bustled away and returned a moment later with a tall glass of lemonade. She gave it to Reid along with a kiss to his cheek, making him blush. And then fifteen minutes later, she was snatching his book from his fingers and dragging him to the table.

"Alright! One burger!" Morgan announced, setting the plate down before Reid. "With cheese, mayonnaise, ketchup, lettuce, onions, tomatoes and… EXTRA PICKLES! Just how you like it."

"Thanks, Morgan!" Reid exclaimed, then blinked as Morgan spooned a big glop of potato salad onto his plate. And then he went and grabbed his own plate, putting his steak on it, and the entire team plus Will sat down at the table.

"To a day off!" Rossi called, raising his glass of very adult lemonade. The team all cheered their agreement and toasted, then dug in. Reid seized a handful of potato chips and then took a big bite out of his burger.

"Take some salad, Spence." JJ said sweetly, putting some on Reid's plate.

"I dun wan'it!"

"Set an example for Henry, please." JJ admonished, putting some ranch dressing on Reid's salad. Reid rolled his eyes, but grabbed a fork and ate his salad, earning chuckles from Rossi, Hotch and Morgan. They were nearly finished eating when the boys clamored out of the pool and ran over, excited for food. Will shoved potato chips into Henry's mouth to quiet the boy while he finished his own steak and braut, and Hotch sent Jack to get the watermelon out of the pool. The team quickly finished their food and Hotch began to carve up the watermelon, giving large slices to the boys while Rossi grilled up some brauts for them.

Reid made his way back to his lounge chair, and the JJ and Emily took the chairs on either side of them. When the rest of the team noticed, there were muffled snickers and Garcia took pictures. They were all stretched out, tanning.

At least the girls were…

"Reid's asleep!" Morgan laughed, looking more than a little bit tickled.

"Shhh!" Garcia hissed, and dug into Emily's bag, pulling out a hot pink, electric blue and lime green bikini top with a Hawaiian hibiscus flower print on it.

"What's that?" Rossi asked

"Emily had a bikini strap snap once when she was a teenager, so she always brings an extra one with her… just in case." Garcia explained.

"And… what are you doing with it?" Hotch asked. Garcia placed a finger to her lips, and then crept up on the napping Reid. JJ and Emily watched silently, grinning. Garcia reached out and laid the bikini top on Reid's chest, carefully arranging it so that it actually looked like he was wearing it. JJ and Emily were shaking as they tried to keep their giggles quiet. Morgan was actually doing a little dance as an outlet for his amusement before he exploded into laughter. Rossi was shaking with chuckles, and Hotch let his face fall into his hand, his own shoulders shaking. Garcia snapped a couple of pictures, and then went to take a watermelon juice and ketchup covered Jack and Henry to play in the pool, leaving Reid to his nap.

JJ and Emily just put on their shades and unstrapped their bikinis and relaxed to tan, chatting over their sleeping genius. Hotch returned to the pool to play with his son, as did Will, and Morgan joined them. After an hour or so, JJ and Emily rolled over to tan their backs, and then about an hour after that, Rossi emerged from the house bearing ice cream. He scooped them into cones for the little boys first, teasing them over their pruney little fingers from being in the pool for so long. As the team settled down for ice cream, with the exception of the still dozing Reid, a cool breeze wafted over them.

Morgan looked up as the sun was suddenly obscured. "Oh. Look at that." He said. The team followed his gaze. Dark clouds were rolling in over the top of Rossi's house, which had blocked their view of catching sight of the clouds earlier.

"Oh, finally some rain…" Emily groaned appreciatively.

"I'm gonna pack up the meats." Rossi said.

"I'll clean the grill." Morgan offered, and Rossi gave him a grateful smile. JJ hurried to take the rest of the food inside, the salad, potato chips and potato salad. Another gust passed over them, and Henry let out a squeal of upset as his melting ice cream fell off of its cone and right onto Hotch's foot.

"AH!" Hotch yelped, jumping at the sudden shock of cold. Will quickly scooped another blob of ice cream onto his son's cone to appease him, while a laughing Hotch hopped over to the pool and swished his foot around in it, washing off the ice cream.

"You know… the hose is over there." Rossi grumbled, pointing across the yard.

"Oh… sorry, Dave." Hotch chuckled, gathering his and Jack's belongings, while JJ gathered everything for her, Will and Henry. Garcia gathered her and Emily's things while Emily cleaned up the watermelon caving station that Hotch had set up. Morgan was scrubbing the grill, brow furrowed in his concentration and effort, every now and then glancing up at the clouds rolling in.

Now finished with (and covered in) their ice cream, Jack and Henry were splashing into the pool again singing "Rain rain go away! Come again another day! Jack and Henry want to play! Rain rain go away!" While their fathers tried to coax them out of the pool and into waiting towels to get them inside.

Gentle thunder rolled over the house, and Jack and Henry squealed and splashed to the edge of the pool, clamoring out and allowing their fathers to catch them in the towels and pick them up, schlepping them inside.

There was another slightly louder peal of thunder, and a flash of lightning. Morgan shut down the grill and closed it before carrying the cooler inside, while Emily gathered pool toys and Rossi gathered the plastic cups, plates and cutlery, while JJ got Reid's book into his bag. As she reached out to wake him, the clouds let loose their load in a downpour.

JJ squealed, clutching Reid's bag and running for the house. The team stood at the back door, watching as Reid shirked and thrashed, woken at the sudden cold dousing. "MORGAN! WHAT THE HELL?!" Then he blinked and looked around, his glasses falling off of his face. And then he looked down and turned red at the sight of the bikini top on him. There was a crack of thunder and a flash of lightning, and the soaking wet genius squeaked and darted to the house like a frightened rabbit. The team cleared an opening for him, laughing and teasing.

"What the hell, man?!" Reid whined, pushing his wet hair out of his face.

"You looked so adorable, we didn't want to disturb you…" Garcia offered, not sounding convincing.

"… I hate you all." Reid grumbled, slowly peeling the wet bikini top off of his chest. Garcia immediately smacked a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. The rest of the team had frozen, staring at Reid's chest. Will ducked behind JJ, coughing as he tried to cover a laugh. Morgan didn't even bother trying to hide it. He burst out into raucous laughter, pointing at Reid and gripping Emily's shoulder.

JJ stared at Reid with wide eyes, and slowly lifted a hand to cover her mouth when she was unable to hide the grin. But when Emily broke down, so did JJ. Reid blinked, staring. Garcia was still looking stunned, but the rest of the team was now laughing. Even Hotch was unable to hold back his laugh, and Rossi was looking near tears in his mirth. Reid looked down at himself, and his eyes widened.

"… Oh my God…" He gasped, and ran for the bathroom. The team watched him dart in and the lights turned on. "… WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

The laughter burgeoned. Morgan was actually jumping up and down and Hotch collapsed into a chair.

Reid burst out of the bathroom, looking panicked and near tears.

"Baby… I'm so sorry!" Garcia cried, running over to him. "I… I didn't think that… that…" And she looked down. Despite the SPF 70 sunblock, Reid had tanned during his nap… but where she had placed the bikini top had stayed white… Reid had a bikini top tan line…

"You guys stop laughing!" Garcia shrieked. "This is NOT funny!"

Her only response was the flash of a camera.

"HEY!" Reid cried.

"NO! STOP IT!" Garcia shouted, and removed her sarong, flinging it around Reid's shoulders to cover his chest and then herded him from the room. "Reid, I am so, SO sorry…" She wailed, guiding him into a guest room. "I really am, I never would have wanted to embarrass you like this, sweetie…"

"… I know." Reid sighed softly, stepping into the bathroom and turning on the light, taking off the sarong and looking at himself again, inspecting it more closely. "… Imagine how bad it would be if you hadn't put the sun screen on me."

Garcia blinked, standing behind him, and grinned. "You would have been SO burned, pumpkin." She said. "Red as a lobster."

"Or pink as your swimsuit." Reid snorted. "With this bright white…" He traced the tan line with a finger. A smile slowly spread across his face, and he bit his lip. And then, fighting back laughter, he let out a snort. And that was all it took. Reid and Garcia fell apart, leaning on each other for support as their knees grew weak with their laughter.

It was several minutes and many tears later before they finally managed to get ahold of themselves.

"I'll go get your pants from the car and see about borrowing a shirt from Rossi." Garcia said with a smile, ruffling Reid's rain-dampened hair.

"Thanks. I think I left my shirt on the chair, but I brought a spare. It's in my bag. Oh god! My bag!"

"JJ got the rest of your stuff in, boy wonder."

"Oh. Great." Reid said, relieved. Garcia smiled and kissed her finger, and pressed it to Reid's forehead.

"Wait here, sweet pea."

"Okay." Reid said with a nod, and stepped into the shower once Garcia left, not pleased with the idea of being covered in chlorine.

She returned about ten minutes later, calling through the door "I'm leaving them on the counter for you here, Butter Cream."

"Thanks! Be out in a minute!" Reid called, and heard the door close. A few minutes later, he shut off the shower and toweled himself dry, then pulled on his underwear and cords, thinking to himself how lucky they were that Garcia had put up the top on her convertible so that the leather upholstery wouldn't get bird poop on it since she was parked under a tree. Then he pulled on the blue button up shirt that Garcia had gotten from his bag and headed out to the living room. The team was sitting around, all of them apparently having used Rossi's many showers and were now dressed in fresh clothes. Jack and Henry were both looking sleepy, curled up with their parents. The thunder rolled outside.

"Welcome back." Rossi said, coming into the room and smiling at Reid. "We were going to watch a movie. Want to help me get some snacks?"

"Sure." Reid smiled and followed, Garcia at his heels.

"Look kid… I'm sorry if we upset you." Rossi said as he began to gather sodas from the fridge, while Garcia put some popcorn into the microwave.

"It's okay." Reid said. "It's probably hard to see something like that and NOT laugh…"

"Next time, I'll cuts little holes in the bikini so it looks like you're wearing a polka dot bikini."

"Uh, no you won't." Reid said firmly. "But uh… feel free to try that out on Hotch." And Reid, Garcia and Rossi all shared a collective evil chuckle. Reid added more potato chips to the large bowl that had been outside, and put Morgan's potato salad into the fridge, while getting out a jar of baby dill pickles, which he also put into a bowl. Garcia popped up three bags of popcorn, putting them into a very large mixing bowl.

"Help me out over here." Rossi called, and the two walked over. Rossi was at the sink, slicing the tops off of little cherry tomatoes and scooping out the inside. "Reid, put a bit of the balsamic vinegar and a pinch of salt and pepper in in each, and Garcia, put a basil leaf into them and put a mozzarella ball on top."

"Okay," Garcia agreed and the trio got to work, making a large platter of caprese bites in about ten minutes.

"Alright, let's go!" Rossi announced, and they gathered all of the snacks and carried them out into the living room.

"The boys have chosen to watch 'Iron Man'." Hotch said with a smile.

"Alright." Rossi nodded, smiling down at Jack and Henry. Hotch hit play and the movie began, the team settling in and munching on the snacks. And halfway through the movie, Jack and Henry were fast asleep.

And so was Reid. Morgan looked down at his best friend and grinned, shaking his head and chuckling softly.

"Is this kid not sleeping?" He asked, looking around.

"He hardly slept over the case. I doubt that one good night's sleep helped him recover." Hotch said, smiling at Reid, curled up and snoozing, popcorn still loosely held in his long fingers. Morgan eyed Reid, then grinned and seized an ice cube from JJ's water, and dropped it down the back of Reid's shirt.

"MORGAN!" JJ and Garcia howled, as Reid shot off of the sofa with a yell. Jack and Henry jumped, startled out of their nap. Henry began to cry. Reid seized the first thing he could get his hands on, that being a book of renaissance art from the coffee table, whirled and—

WHACK!

"OW!" Morgan howled.

WHACK!

"What the hell, man?!"

WHACK!

"HEY!" Morgan roared, finally snatching the book away from Reid.

"Derek Morgan, you're an asshole!" Emily shouted as JJ carried her crying son from the room, and Hotch followed a moment later as Jack looked ready to cry as well.

"Come on man, I'm just playing!" Morgan cried. Reid picked up another book and raised it over Morgan's head.

"Hey now!" Rossi yelped, tackling Reid around the middle and dragging him away, grinning. "Come on, kid, you'll give him a concussion."

"I'm sorry Reid!" Morgan cried, looking amused.

"No you're not!" Reid snapped.

"Come on, Reid, I think it's time for a nap."

"He's napped for a couple hours already!"

"Morgan, hush." Garcia said sternly.

"What's going on?" Hotch asked, poking his head out of the doorway of one of the guest rooms.

"Reid is ready to kill Morgan." Rossi chuckled, taking the book from Reid.

"I want Unca Penna!" They heard Henry wail. Reid blinked, then stepped into the room. JJ smiled and let go of Henry, who threw himself into Reid's arms.

"I'm sorry, Henry. I didn't mean to wake you up." Reid said gently, hugging his Godson. "You too, Jack." He sat down on the bed and Jack shuffled over, wanting to be held, too. Hotch and JJ met each other's smiles. "You two still tired?" Reid asked. The little boys sniffled and nodded. "Me too…"

"You boys take a nap." Rossi said, smiling. "We won't let Morgan bug you." And he returned to the living room. A few minutes later, the others did too. They finished watching their movie, and then Hotch and JJ went in to check on their napping children, Garcia on their heels.

"Awwww…" Garcia sighed. Reid was sprawled out on the bed, with Jack cuddled into his right side, and Henry on the left. They were all fast asleep, and looking incredibly comfortable under the expensive linens and comforters that Rossi had on the bed. There was a flash, and JJ, Garcia and Hotch turned and looked at Will, who was standing there with a camera.

"That's one for th'albums…" He said with a grin, and JJ laughed quietly.

"Let them sleep." Garcia hissed, pushing everyone away from the room. "When they wake up, we'll have dinner."

"Henry's gonna be up all night." Will chuckled.

"We'll survive." JJ said, and they returned to the living room to watch another movie until the boys woke up.

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