Hello my lovley people. I got soo many followers and favourites last time it made me so happy. Thank you guys!

And for the few that reviewed you guys are awesome.

So here is another Chapter (yay)

Also if you are not aware this story is AU not so AU that is like wtf but enough that it doesn't follow Glee completely.

ENJOY!

Chapter Five

Santana was feeling really uncomfortable.

Which she shouldn't be, Santana has been here countless times she has sat on this same bed numerous times, jumped on the bed, cried on this bed, told childhood secrets on the bed, she's even… well she has done other activities as well.

But that didn't stop her nervous energy Santana couldn't stop fidgeting, her body wanted nothing more than to not be here, her brain thought it could possibly agree with the body but wasn't quite sure yet. But her heart, her heart told her to stop being a fucking tool and just fix everything that has gone wrong.

The conflictions were sending her insane.

After Brittany shook off the shock of Santana being on her door step she invited her inside. And promptly lead her to her bedroom. Santana tried not to notice that Brittany had changed her bed linen, she put it down to laundry day but in the back of mind she knew it was because of… the other activities.

Brittany wasn't in the room at the moment she deposited Santana into her room and ran off down the hall with a I'll be right back it wasn't much of an explanation.

So that just left Santana alone. With her thoughts, this was never a good thing.

Santana knew why she was here she wanted to fix this weirdness that is between her and Brittany.

But she also wanted to never ever mention what happened ever again sweep it under the rug and then go out and buy a new rug.

She wondered if Brittany wanted to talk about it. Santana didn't have to wonder for long, of course Brittany would want to talk about it she always wants to talk about everything. Santana would be upset about a less than desirable grade on an essay Brittany wanted to know how she felt about it. Santana just had to walk away.

Who cares about feelings anyway?

Brittany has been gone for five minutes now. The urge to run was becoming more prominent. Santana had to rub her hands on her legs to keep them from shaking so violently.

'Seriously where is she?'

Santana desperately wanted to get up off the bed it was the last place she wanted to be was sitting on after all it was the bed, she wasn't sure if she should move or not so she stayed put. She had to fight her subconscious not to think about the last time she was on this bed.

She always lost.

'Santana… I, I really want to kiss you.' Brittany breathed softly onto Santana's lips. Santana's heart pumped faster her spine tingled with pleasure with Brittany's confession. They were both lying down on the bed Santana was half lying on Brittany she was so close their noses touched. With their position it would only take a small tilt of Santana's head to brush her lips over Brittany's soft, sweet mouth. God she wanted that.

'NOPE.'

Santana jumped up from the bed.

'Nope, nope, nope.'

Santana knew this would happen she would come into this room and things would happen and she didn't want these things to happen. Fuck she was so not dealing with.

'Where the fuck is Brittany!' Santana had enough she marched to the door, fully intent on getting the fuck out of the damn house. Santana gave it chance and Brittany disappeared to god knows where and now she was done.

'Dear sweet Jesus!' Santana had her hand on the door knob as soon as she was about to open Brittany appeared, scaring the ever loving crap out of Santana.

'I didn't know you were religious.' Brittany said with a scrunched up nose.

'What? no, no you just scared me a little is all.' Santana put her hand on her racing heart. Brittany maneuvered around Santana and sat on her bed.

Composing herself Santana leaned against the door, it was on.

'Where were you?'

'Oh, I had to break up Lord T's gang meeting, he got huffy and ran under the TV unit and got stuck.' Brittany held up her arm there was a thin line of blood that on her forearm where Tubbs obviously took his anger out on her. 'He wasn't very happy with me.'

'That cat needs to be put to sleep, he's a douche.' Santana resisted the urge to take Brittany to her bathroom and betadine that cut up and find the fat shit punch him in his fat face.

God she hated Lord T.

Every time Santana would come over the cat would stalk her all over the house watching her with his crazed eyes waiting for a perfect opportunity to strike, his favourite game was to sneak into the toilet while Santana occupies it, he usually waited for Santana's defense were down (pantless) and goes in for that attack, the little shit comes flying out of nowhere and scratches up her legs and runs out of the flimsy toilet door.

Leaving his victim bloody, sore, and very pissed off there has been a couple of times Brittany has had to put Tubbs locked away in her parents bathroom to keep him safe from Santana, or Santana safe from him.

'That's not fair San. He is going through a few things at the moment.' Brittany scolded Santana. She grabbed some tissues to clean up the blood that was sliding down her arm now.

Santana chose not to comment on that.

Brittany made her way back to her bed still checking to see if she had collected all of the blood of her arm.

Santana just hovered around the bedroom door not knowing what to do with her awkward self. Brittany seemed to sense her awkwardness patted the spot on the bed next to her.

That was a bad idea, a bad, bad idea. But her body was certainly not listening Santana found herself causally sitting on the end of Brittany's bed as far away as she could without seeming to rude.

Brittany looked disappointed at Santana's seating choice. Honestly Santana could not handle being actually next to her, which would be a disaster, a nice, passionate disaster…

'Focus stupid!'

They sat in silence for awhile Santana was watching her hands she would clench and unclench them watching how they turn white at how hard she was clenching.

She knew Brittany was watching her, the shiver down her spine and the feeling she gets whenever the blue eyes are focused on her. One of them would have to speak eventually.

It wasn't going to be Santana, stubbornness is her huge down fall.

She wanted to talk and get back into the groove of things, she wanted to be able to sit next to Brittany on the bed and sit in the place that Santana designated her side. She wanted it, god she wanted it but she physically couldn't do it. Her body wasn't letting her.

'Mrs. Reynolds is acting more crazy by the day.' Brittany commented

That shocked Santana out of her depressing monolog.

'What?'

'Mrs. Reynolds she's been more mean than usual.' Brittany sad with a sad frown

'I'm ninety percent sure it's the alcohol she "sneaks" during class.' Feeling a little bit more comfortable Santana positioned herself so she was slightly more faced on with Brittany.

Brittany scrunched up her nose in disgust 'That explains the smell… I wish she would use the soaps I leave on her desk every morning.' Brittany looked away possibly with a faraway look in her eyes. She was possibly trying to find other ways to rid Mrs. Reynolds of her distinct vodka and rotten teeth smell.

'Try mouth wash someone asked her a question and I swear he vomited in his mouth when she leant in to help him.' Santana smiled a little at Brittany's obvious disgust.

The room went silent again, Santana knew it was coming it was inevitable.

'San…' Brittany leant in a bit closer.

The air turned, shit just got serious. Santana had no idea how it was possible, the atmosphere just changed the air become thicker Santana started to feel heat rising in her body. She didn't want the inevitable to be so soon. She could have handled awkward silence for a bit longer.

'Please, don't say anything.'

Santana's heart was starting to beat fast, she could feel her hands become all sweaty and gross. Brittany hadn't even said anything yet.

Santana heard Brittany sigh, 'San. I just think that maybe we should talk about it.'

'Hell no'

Santana felt her nervous energy come back she tried to hide but her leg was slowly starting to bounce.

She didn't respond to Brittany, she didn't know how. She felt Brittany shift on the bed Santana wasn't watching her anymore she was watching her foot bounce up and down. She knew Brittany wanted eye contact and a meaningful conversation.

Santana didn't.

'Just drop it. Please'

Clearly Brittany wasn't a mind reader she went to say something else, something that Santana knew she didn't want to hear or have to be confronted with. She was barely keeping it together as it was. Santana cut in before Brittany could say another word.

'I don't think it needs to be talked about.' Santana chanced a quick look at Brittany she had her head tilted and eyes narrowed. Santana wanted to stop there but once she started it seemed all of the crap she had been dealing with just came out.

'What we did it didn't mean anything we were just two friends having some fun. That's it.'

Santana didn't have to look at Brittany to know that what she said hurt her the sharp inhale that came from her told all.

It made Santana's heart clench. But it had to be said, what they did was a onetime thing.

Brittany being the amazing girl she is gently grabbed one of Santana's clenched hands. 'San may-

Santana ripped her hand out of Brittany's even though it felt so warm and comforting, Santana couldn't handle it.

'No, Brittany what-what went on wasn't some magical thing that we need to experience together, and get in touch with our feelings we were both feeling in the "mood" and had fun together, that's it.' Santana was surprised to find herself standing next to the bed her arms crossed around her stomach.

With a deep breath she looked at the silent Brittany.

'We're not a couple of lezos Britt.' Santana tried to sound determined, it came out as just a mumble.

Santana watch Brittany as she talked, she saw hurt, confusion, and pure sadness flash in the beautiful eyes. Santana's heart broke it honest to god broke her heart was once pounding in her chest and now it just sunk into the pit of her tummy.

Brittany cast her eyes down she was watching her hands, her delicate fingers were scrunching up her Cheerios skirt and letting go then scrunching up it up again. Brittany only did this if she was nervous, confused, or sad.

Santana hated she didn't know which one Brittany was feeling. Santana saw Brittany's bottom lip tremble a bit.

Now she knew, sad.

That made Santana feel like shit. She never wanted to hurt her she never wanted to be the cause of any discomfort for her best friend.

She would do anything to keep their friendship even if it meant having to go through a little bit of pain to get back what they lost.

Well that's what Santana thought.

She knew Brittany might take it badly but she knew she would get over it. She was a lot stronger than people gave her credit for.

On the other hand holy fuck that little lip tremble broke Santana's fucked up heart, nothing penetrates Santana's walls she was cold and distant to everyone. Seeing Brittany so sad and being the cause of it, Santana couldn't have that.

Santana was already walking towards Brittany to take it all back just so she would never see the sadness again.

Before Santana could take the last few steps towards her, Brittany snapped her head up. Her blue eyes were intense she was studying Santana. Her eyes flickered between Santana's eyes. Santana wondered what she saw there.

'Can she see I'm trying to do the right thing?'

'Is she finally realising that I'm not as great as she once thought?'

'Can she see how scared I am?'

'I don't want to lose my best friend.'

The integrative look Brittany was giving her was making Santana incredibly anxious, she had to look away. The moment she did she heard Brittany let out a sigh. It wasn't happy sigh, or sad sigh. It sounded like a defeated sigh.

'Has Brittany given up on me?'

Panicked Santana went to ask just that but Brittany was now walking to her door. She turned around and said with her emotionless voice that she needed to go feed Lord Tubbington.

Santana has never been on the receiving end of that tone Brittany usually reserves it for people that don't understand her and she doesn't have time for. Santana felt the familiar sting of tears forming behind her eyes.

Santana didn't know what to do.

So she did what she does best.

Santana made up some excuse about needing to be home she suddenly forgot about it. Brittany seemed indifferent like she expected it to happen.

Brittany didn't walk her to the front door. Santana made a mad rush towards the front door, as she was about to leave she heard Mrs. Pierce ask where she was going. Santana was out the door before she could answer.

Finally in safe space of her car everything hit Santana the anxiety, confusion, anger, and sadness that came from the entire conversation had crept up and was slamming into her with emotion after emotion.

Santana wanted scream, run, cry, and possibly throw up. She had never felt such helplessness before.

Santana rested her head on the steering wheel her body wanted release, it wanted her to cry and just let loose.

Fucked if Santana was going to that happen.

She took a few deep breaths pushing out all the crap she was feeling after a few minutes the feelings were dull and the threat of her jumping out the car door and running to god knows where was no longer persistent she loosened the grip on the steering wheel.

Much to Santana's dismay she had to wipe a few tears from her cheeks.

Santana had been sitting in the car for at least fifteen minutes trying to calm herself down. Now she was somewhat normal she started her car and drove away.

Though she didn't expect or at very least deserve it but-

'Brittany didn't come out.'

The little secret area in the Santana's mind hoped Brittany would come and they could work through things but she didn't and the tear running down Santana's cheek had nothing to do with it.

Santana was currently driving around town not knowing what the fuck to do. She had driven around the big ass roundabout in the centre of town too many times to count, at first she went around it because she missed her turn, but then she just got amused by the people flipping her off.

Getting bored of going around in big circles Santana exited out of a random exit and pulled over on the side of the road on the random street. She had limited choices to go to. She could go to Quinn's but honestly Santana fears she will combust if she steps foot into the religious shrine of a house. That left her with only one other option

'That's depressing'

Hey loser coming over in ten.

The lack of friends she had was depressing so she settled on her so called boyfriend's house. She didn't wait for a reply she knew Puck wouldn't be doing anything right now he is just a loser in a lettermen jacket.

She rolls up to Pucks house, the lawn is dry and long there is broken lawn chairs and old kid bikes and two broken cars out the front.

It was class all the way for the Puckerman household.

Santana didn't bother to knocking she let herself into the house and made her way into Puck's basement room or as he likes to call it his 'sex dungeon'.

Puck really was a man whore.

On her decent into the so called 'dungeon' she was hit with sent of musk and crappy axe deodorant. She almost vomited a little in her mouth.

Santana found Puck playing some gay game, completely unaware that the finest piece of ass just walked into his room. Puck was too busy sitting on his bed screaming about someone blowing him at the finishing line.

Sounded wanky.

Santana took of her shoes and plonked her ass next to the fuming man (boy?).

'What's got your panties in a twist?' Santana said disinterestedly she was smoothing out her uniform in a comfortable position.

'Toad the little shit used a blue shell on me before right before I got to the finish line' Puck sat more forward

'I'm gunna blow his ass up.' He never took his eyes off the TV screen Santana wasn't sure if he even read her text.

'Well that doesn't sound gay at all.' She watched Puck, get knock down a few times. He didn't respond.

The lack of attention was not helping her get her not noticing the dull ache in her heart. Didn't help that every time Santana's mind wondered just a little bit, sad blue eyes flashed in her mind making the ache worst.

'You suck at this. And this is boring.' Santana needed to do something, anything to get her mind off her. She pulled out her trusty nail file from her the hem of her skirt.

File twice on one side, blow, file again, blow, inspect, don't think of Brittany, and repeat.

'You can play if you want.' Puck commented still too distracted to pay any attention to Santana.

Santana stopped mid blow wanky.

'As if I'm not a nerd, nerd.' She went back to carefully filing the other side of her nail. The room suddenly went silent. Santana felt Puck shift on the bed he was really close to her now.

He ran a hand up her arm 'Well if you don't want to play, maybe we could play something else.' Santana resisted the urge to shiver in disgust, Puck was so close to her face that she could smell his stale breath, it faintly smelled of cigaretts and corn chips.

'Brittany never smelt this disgusting, she always smelt sweet, and tas-

'Ten seconds brain that's all I'm fucking asking. Fuck!'

Puck was still rubbing Santana's arm he was blowing on her ear. He probably thought it was 'sensual' it just made Santana's ear feeling fucking weird. Santana really was not in the mood to have grubby, clumsy, callus hands all over her.

Santana reached over Puck she saw the dick head smirk, probably thought he was the master of seduction.

She grabbed the weird remote thingy that Puck discarded on his attempted to get into Santana's pants. 'I'm first player and I wanna be that Donkey.' She thought Puck would be disappointed or even pissed that he wasn't getting any. But he quickly grabbed the other remote and excitedly showed her how to play.

Santana was on her second lap on her fifth game, she would kill anyone, burry and salt their gave if they found out. But this was kinda awesome at this game. Once she got use to the controls she had won, twice.

Much to her amusement Puck was getting more pissed off after every win.

'Argh you fucking bitch!' Puck was red faced he was putting his entire body in 'steering' the wheel.

Santana just hit him with a homing shell just before he was going to cross the finish line, which resulted into Santana winning yet another time.

'Hate the game bitch, not the playa.' Santana was really getting into it now. It was a nice distraction from everything. Since she started the flashes of sad eyes only happen every now and then when she blinks.

So yay for progress.

The feeling in her gut was slowly easing now.

'Whatever I'm just letting you win.' Puck grumbled now sitting more closely to the TV, thinking it could improve his game play.

They sat in silence while they started a new game, Santana was having her ass kicked by some fuckwit in purple. She was just waiting for some red shells to fire at the fucker.

Every now and then she saw Puck watch her for a couple of seconds then focus on his game again. It was happening every thirty seconds now.

It was driving up Santana up the wall.

'Seriously Puck the fuck you lookin' at.' She didn't take her eyes of the game.

She saw Puck shrug his shoulders in answer. Rolling her eyes Santana went back to the game.

'Ok quit looking at me or I'll punch you in the throat.' Santana threaten she was getting sick of the looks Puck was sending her. Once she called him out on it he stopped her like two minutes but continued again.

'Is there something wrong Lopez?' Puck asked not taking his eyes of the screen, trying to seem casual.

The question was so out of the damn blue it made Santana fall of the track.

That confused Santana they never talk about their feelings.

'What?' Santana asked harshly.

'Well you have been sitting here all pouty' Santana self consciously sucked her bottom lip into her mouth.

Puck continued on. 'And every minute you're sighing like your puppy just died.' He responded still trying to sound like he didn't really care.

Santana didn't know what to think of this strange conversation. She didn't know if she should feel touched at his concern or punch him the junk and tell him to stay out of her damn business.

'The hell Puck, do you want to hold each other's hands and sing Kumbyfuckingya?' Santana knew that was probably a bit to snarky but whatever. She went with what she knew best when someone was trying to be nice to her. Push them the fuck away.

'No, but you're bringing down the mood, you depressed or somethin'?' Before Santana could answer Puck continued.

'My cousin was once, depressed I mean and he blew his brains out all over his kitchen.' Santana tried not picture that lovely picture. Didn't help that Puck added hand visuals in the description of the brains blowing everywhere.

Sick fuck.

Santana chose to ignore this, she wasn't depressed. Shit happens she'll get over it and Puck didn't know anything about her. She was pretty sure he didn't even know her middle name.

Of course Puck didn't take her silence as 'let's drop this fucking topic' and continued on with his rambling thoughts he paused the game and looked towards Santana he ran a hand over his scratchy chin

'In fact you have been in a shit mood since like Saturday' He was looking at Santana as if something on her body would give him the clue on her bad mood.

'Why do you care Puck.' Santana wrapped her arms around her mid section, she was not liking where this was going.

'What? Can't a boyfriend ask what goes on with his girlfriend? Did you and Brittany-

'hmmph' The moment the Brittany's name passed Puck's lips Santana kissed him she had to. For a dumb jock he was connecting the dots a bit to quickly for her liking.

She was willing to have sex with Puck than to finish this conversation. This is how much she really, really didn't want to talk about it.

The moment Santana kissed Puck, Puck was too distracted by Santana's boobs to even know what day of the week it was.

Panting slightly Santana reached over Puck to grab one of his cigarettes as she reached over she felt Puck kiss her stretched out arm. She felt a shiver go down her body, and not a good one either.

They just finished doing to naked tango. Santana mentally reminded herself to not get completely naked when she's in Puck's bed again the sheets were all stiff and gross and they smelt fucking horrible. She pulled the blanket around her a bit more so she didn't have be in direct with the sheet.

She took a long pull of the smoke. The sex wasn't bad nor was it good, it just was. She again tried not compare Puck or Brittany when it came to it that was a dangerous path.

She took another pull.

The blue eyes flashed back into her mind the hurt and disappointment was so strong it was tugging on Santana's heart making it beat irregularly.

Santana snapped open her eyes she didn't even know how they got closed.

'Fuck, I miss her so much.'

'See that's what I'm talking about, that pout right there.' Puck ran a finger over Santana's bottom lip, she forgot he was there.

She pushed his hand away from her face, stubbed on the cigarette on his bedside table and jumped out of the gross bed.

'What are you doing?' Puck asked through a puff of smoke.

'Getting dress genius what does it look like?' Santana found her panties and bra and was on the hunt to find her top and skirt.

'You don't have to leave it's like.' Puck turned over to check the time '12:30pm'

'Shit really? Mom's not going to be happy.'

'Seriously Puck do you have your period or something?' Santana pulled her shirt over her head. 'You're being clinger than a bitch in heat.' She pulled her skirt up and did it up. She looked at Puck if her comments affect him he didn't let it show, which was a smart move by him Santana would of given him hell.

'Whatever just trying to be nice.' Puck mumbled putting out his now stub of a cigarette.

'Well stop I don't date girls.' With that lovely proclamation Santana ascended the stairs.

She tried to ignore the tiny monster in her stomach trying to claw its way out. She didn't know what it was but it was slowly killing her inside.

'The light is on.'

'It's 12:45pm and the light is still on.'

Santana was on her way home this time, she swears but she somehow ended up parked in front of Brittany's house.

Brittany's light was still on, Santana didn't know what to make of that, Brittany hardly ever stayed up late on a school night.

'Is she just as upset as me?'

'Is thinking about me?'

'Can I be any more conceded'

'Why is she still up.'

Santana knew she was obsessing over such a trivial thing it was just a damn light nothing else and nothing more. It had no deep meaning she probably forgot to turn it off or she thought about aliens a bit to longer than she should have and is scared to turn it off again.

Santana wanted to climb up to Brittany's window gather the girl in her arms and apologise until Brittany forgave her.

Santana shook her head from that thought. She certainly did not just think that.

Not knowing what to do Santana just sat there like a creeper hoping to see a shadow of her best friend.

She really did want to go up there. But she still smelt from the horrible Cheerios practice.

'God was that just today? It feels like it was forever ago…'

And not to mention she smelt like sweaty sex and Puck. She was dirty and contaminated she didn't want to taint the purity that is Brittany.

No Brittany needed more than that,

Brittany deserved more than that.

Santana started her car again with one last look at the house she drove off.

Santana swore she saw a Brittany shape shadow at her window move away as Santana drove off.

Santana pulled into her drive way, she just sat there for a minute. Today had been a total and complete mind fuck. She rested her head on the top of the steering wheel.

She was mentally and physically exhausted. Thankfully she was so tired that she couldn't feel that crazy monster in her tummy that made her feel bad things. She gathered as much strength as she could to get out of her damn car and go and finally have a shower.

Once inside Santana kicked off her shoes and treaded quietly to her room. She didn't need to but sneaking into her house at almost one in the morning made her feel like she should sneak in.

On her way to her room she passed her mom's bedroom. Quietly and carefully she opened the door. She could see a mound in the blanket and hear a light snore. Santana wanted nothing more than to snuggle in with her mommy and cry everything away.

'I really need a hug…'

But she couldn't the questions that would be asked just wasn't worth it. With one last longing look at the bed she treaded up to her room.

Once there Santana tried so much not to just collapse on to her bed and just forget about everything. Instead she pulled out her pajamas and shuffled to the bathroom to take a long, long, relaxing shower.

Once the temperature was set to her specifications she slowly stepped in to the flowing water. She thanked whatever God was up there that she didn't have usual run in with the shower door. Santana would have smashed the entire shower if that happened.

She titled her head back to get her hair all wet along with the rest of her body. After she was satisfied there was equal amounts of water on her she leant her head against the tiled walls.

The shower pounding on her back was soothing.

'What we did it didn't mean anything.'

'We're not lezos'

'It wasn't some magical experience.'

Santana banged her head against the tile to try to stop her horrible voice ring through her mind. Hearing her words made she remember Brittany's heartbroken face.

The monster slowly started to wake up again.

This was not a good idea, having quiet time with her thoughts never lead to anything good. Santana quickly washed her body and shampooed her hair.

'It didn't mean anything'

Santana rinsed the shampoo out. She washed her body again and conditioned her hair. Squeezing her eyes shut desperate to just shut it all out.

'It didn't mean anything.'

Santana rinsed the condition out. She just pretended she couldn't hear the echo of her voice

'It didn't mean anything.'

Santana couldn't distinguish what was water and what were tears. She wasn't sobbing she didn't even make a sound they just rebelled against her and were falling down her cheeks.

With one last body wash (Santana really wanted to make sure she was clean) she jumped out of the shower. She took deep breaths in and out to stop those damn tears from disobeying her and running down her face.

'One, breathe in.'

'Two, breathe out.'

'Three, breathe in.'

'Four, breathe out.'

Santana did it a few times, finally the tears stop and the sick pit of grossness wasn't there anymore. She continued on getting ready for bed.

'It didn't mean anything.'

'FUCK shut up!' Santana shouted. She clamped a hand around her mouth, she didn't mean to shout she didn't even know she was about to snap. It just happened. She stayed silent so still listening out if she woke her mother.

After a minute Santana let out a shaky breath.

She did a rough job on drying her hair. She wiped away a few old tears that were just chillin' on her cheeks. She was so done with today.

Santana navigated towards her bed in the dark because being the genius that she was she didn't turn on her bedroom light.

After a few smacked toes and a few choice swear words Santana collapsed on to bed face first. She groaned into her pillow, she was so tired she could sleep for days. She repositioned herself into a more comfy spot.

God she really wanted to go sleep. But no, her fucking brain thought it should use this time to think about every little detail about hers and Brittany's conversation. Santana's brain kept repeating the sadness creep up over Brittany's face and entire being as Santana was being cruel to her.

'It didn't mean anything.'

Santana felt around her bed for her phone that she threw on her bed when she entered the room. After a few smacks around the bed her hand hit the cool solid surface of her phone.

She pulled up the contact she wanted her thumbs had a mind of their own just going off on a tendon trying to explain her actions, before she knew it was a three paragraph text message. She read it over and over again. It was good, but not good enough.

She deleted the entire thing.

She stared at her phone just wishing that it would come up with something she could say to Brittany, anything. She ran her thumb around the casing across the screen, activating a few apps.

Without much thought Santana texted what she wanted to say what she hoped Brittany would understand, what she knew she would never be able to say out loud in person in front of the intimidating blonde.

Her heart was pounding her phone was sliding slightly from her sweating palm she took one deep shaky breath Santana hit the little send button. The moment she heard the little whoosh she threw her phone somewhere on the bed.

Santana knew it wasn't much, Hopefully short and sweet would be the way to win forgiveness from her friend.

After a few minutes Santana went grabbing for her phone again she checked it to see if Brittany texted her back.

She didn't

Santana's text was sitting alone in the conversation box, mocking her. Santana knew she couldn't take it back, half her wish she could the other was happy she manned up and said –

I'm sorry B.

Staring at her phone made Santana sleepy before she went to sleep she heard her damn voice in her head one last time.

'It didn't mean anything.'

Another rebellious thought pushed through to Santana's inner consciousness

'Didn't it?'

She fell asleep with a pounding heart and an unanswered question.

'Fuck mornings.' Santana was rudely awoken by her obnoxious alarm that made Santana almost fall out of bed.

Santana was in a horrible mood she done her makeup glaring at herself, she fixed up her hair with more glaring at herself. She angrily got dressed which resulted in Santana smacking herself in the face when she tried to put her uniform on, she hit her sore lip which made it stung and to top off the shit morning she also bang her knee on the side of her wardrobe.

Oh and one other tiny thing that just made Santana feel even fucking better.

Brittany never wrote anything back.

Santana had no idea what that meant. She knew Brittany saw it, her phone told her so. The feeling of being purposely ignored was a horrible feeling.

'What's that saying what goes around comes around?'

'Fuck you'

Argh now she was arguing with herself.

She was thankful her mom was already at work, she really didn't need to be surrounded by her happy attitude right now. She wanted to stay in her foul mood.

Santana made a quick breakfast and left for school, still glaring at herself whenever she caught her reflection in the mirror.

The moment Santana stepped into the crowed halls she knew it was going to be one those days. The kind of days that made her want to punch everyone who looks at her, or walks past her, or slightly touched her.

Like the goddamn loser that just ran into her. 'The fuck dickhead? Watch where you're walking or I'll fucking knife you!' Santana got a few a scared looks directed at her Santana glared at them, she wasn't kidding. The loser quickly ran off.

'Fuck everyone!'

'Santana!'

'Oh not now…'

Santana turned to where the voice called her. Quinn was marching towards her, if it was possible Quinn looked more pissed off than Santana felt right now.

'Santana there you are!' Quinn stopped in front of her, she looked like she was on the verge on a nervous breakdown.

Santana found that comforting, at least she wasn't the only one.

'You will not believe what Finn just did!' Quinn looked at her expectantly like she was anticipating Santana to guess just so she could to tell her how wrong she was.

'Finally ate something low fat for a change.' Santana replied she could care less really.

'What?' Quinn shook her head, 'No, he joined' She leant in closer probably fearing someone would over hear them. She spoke in a soft whisper that made Santana lean in further to her what the neurotic mess had to say 'He joined the Glee club.' She whispered harshly.

Santana had to suppress a laugh on that one. Fucking tubby Mcfat pants joined one of the worse clubs in the school.

This made her feel slightly better, it was no holds barred now. Finnocence was going to get it.

She should thank Quinn for the great news.

Before Santana could thank Quinn Brittany walked up to them. Santana's heart sped up crazily when she saw her. She was getting really sick of reacting like this every damn time.

Quinn was still ranting and raving about the same bullshit shit. Santana was too focused on Brittany to truly give a fuck.

Looking at Brittany, she had her books in her arms pressed tightly to her chest. She looked hesitant like she didn't know if she should be around Santana. Santana looked straight into Brittany's eyes not once looking away trying to silently say sorry to the girl.

While their exchanged was going on Quinn didn't even notice they weren't even listening.

Finally Brittany gives a small smile to Santana, just for her. It made Santana's heart sore.

Today wouldn't be so bad after all.

She quickly checked back in with Quinn to see if she was missing anything 'That damn man hands has been eye raping Finn since he started this cannot go on-

Santana stopped listening she rolled her at Quinn to Brittany, Brittany chuckled quietly. She still had that smile on her face.

'Does this mean Brittany accepts my apology?'

Brittany was still watching Santana her smile was growing in the beautiful big smile Santana knew and loved, she knew she was sporting the same dorky smile.

'Are you two even listening?' Quinn exclaims accusingly.

'Of course, man hands, Tub Tubs glee, we're on it.' Santana said not even taking her eyes of Brittany, she had gone days without that smile and twinkle in her beautiful blues. She was in no hurry to look away just.

'Oh my god, you two aren't listening, you're useless!' Quinn threw her hands up in the air and stalked off.

Santana didn't have it in her to give a flying fuck.

Brittany and Santana were alone in a crowed corridor. Brittany looked away from Santana she shuffled her feet across the ground.

'Morning' She mumbled shyly into her shoes.

Santana didn't know why she was acting so shy right now but Brittany still had that smile and was still in front of Santana.

'Morning.' Santana knew she sounded like a cheerful dork. She didn't care she had her best friend back.

Brittany reached out her hand and gently grabbed Santana's pinky with her own, she hooked them together and gently swayed them together not taking her eyes off their joined pinkies.

'Shall we go to class?' Brittany asked. Santana gave a slight nod and was lead through the corridor by Brittany.

The day started off craptackular but with Brittany by her side and with a strong grip on her little finger she felt like she could take on the mother fucking world.

I hope you enjoyed it! if you did you know what you should do *cough review cough*

To shameless? :P

Anyways review and follow if you haven't already (to direct?)

And the new chapter should be up soon!

Seeya