Since I am currently braving it out during a hurricane, I decided to make use of my downtime. And with this crappy weather, it's put me in a good mood for something sad-ish. And since I've never tried my hand at Harry Potter fanfics I decided now was a good of a time as any. So without further ado, here is my first Harry Potter one shot! Yeah, there isn't much of a plot to it, but hey, I have to have something to pass the time.
Harry had always found comfort while being at his late godfather's house. The house didn't hold all of the best memories but it didn't hold the worst. After all, his godfather did live here and he was a high point in Harry's life. But Sirius's death brought him to an all time low. With all that taken into consideration, he couldn't figure out why he had found such strange comfort while sitting in the old home.
Maybe it was because no one bothered him there. It was almost like a sanctuary. He could sit in front of the lit fireplace and think. Being in late winter, the fireplace was necessary but it was also comforting. The warmness surrounded him like a coat and he felt like falling asleep in its protection.
Sleep was probably a good idea. He had been up for twenty four hours straight. Twelve of those hours had been spent at the house here just thinking. He needed a place to escape to. Things weren't well for the Boy Who Lived. He had assumed that after the war had been won that things would settle down and he could be happy.
He had never been more wrong. He felt pain, depression, and a strange longing. Maybe he yearned for something more than what he had even if that was selfish to think. It was also possible that after running rampant for so many years trying to defeat Voldemort that Harry was bored. But he didn't find that a likely reason.
Harry didn't know what was wrong with him. He had everything he could ever want. He had a family who loved him, even if they weren't related. He had fortune, fame and a gorgeous girlfriend. That there was enough to make him seem like a selfish and vain person. He did have everything.
That may have been why he was so upset. The war had only passed about a year ago. And yet here he was still thinking about it. As this was a common occurrence for Harry. He felt guilty. He felt like he should've been the one dead instead of all those innocent people. He felt guilty to be alive and well. After all this time, he still felt horrible about it all.
And this was something Ginny could not understand. They had been together for a while now. Harry acknowledged that he had never seen her happier before in his life. Yet, he didn't always feel the same. He felt distant at times, depressed even, and she made no attempt to fully understand. They both knew that they would be scarred from the war but he didn't realize it would be to this extent. Apparently, neither did Ginny.
She would get so upset at times. She felt like he wasn't happy because he wasn't happy with her. No matter how he tried to explain, it would end him up here: alone somewhere trying to sort through everything. Though, he never felt this bad before. He had never sunk this low. And he thought he had been doing so well lately.
He sighed and laid on the couch and studied the flickering flames in the fireplace. The house was so silent that he was sure if someone moved, he would here it all the way across the house. He wasn't enjoying the dense silence.
And he did here something: A knock. He sat up and waited for the sound again. It came again. It sounded like someone was outside knocking on the door. If it was someone who could perform magic, they would just apparate into the house. Did that mean it was a muggle?
Out of reflex, he took his wand out and crept up to the front door. Before he could change his mind, he flung the door open and pointed his wand straight out, hoping to catch the person by surprise if they were an enemy. But his paranoia got the best of him because the person in front of his was the furthest thing from an enemy. It was Hermione Granger.
Snow was falling lightly and settling in her bushy brown hair. She was wrapped up in a coat and stood shaking on his doorstep, brown eyes begging him to let her in. He stepped to the side as an invitation in, "Hey, Hermione."
She stepped inside and immediately walked over to the fireplace and took off her outer jacket. "You know witches can apparate, right?" He asked sarcastically as he sat down next to her on the couch. Her cheeks were tinged with red from the cold and her teeth clattering a bit.
"I know," She replied hastily, "But I didn't want to just barge in. Ginny said you'd been gone for a while and…" she trailed off as she watched his facial expression change. He looked even worse than he did when he opened the door. "Did I say something?"
"No," He shook his head and put on his best poker face, trying to make it seem like he was just here to reminisce or something like that. He didn't want his best friend to know he still had nightmares. That he still couldn't function normally. "Go on."
"She didn't know where to look for you and was frustrated," She said hinting towards the redhead's temper. "She asked me to try and find you. She was worried and said you had been gone for a while."
"Not even a whole day," Harry said quietly. Ginny was a bit…clingy at times. Harry thought the least he could do was respect that. She probably was clingy because the war made her lose so much close to her. She probably felt the need to hold onto whatever she had so she wouldn't lose it.
Hermione glanced at Harry who seemed to be deep in thought. She had been having the same kind of day. Hermione was always thoughtful but today, she just seemed lost. But at least she knew why, "Today is the year anniversary of the war's end."
Harry leaned back into the couch and sighed. He didn't keep track of the days very well but maybe he unconsciously did. Maybe that was why his mood was especially bad today. "I didn't know," He mumbled running a hand through his black hair that was in desperate need of a cut. "You keep track?"
"Yes, along with the rest of the wizarding world," She said finally starting to warm up. She was almost hesitant about agreeing to find Harry today. She knew where to find him, whereas Ginny was totally lost, but that wasn't the problem. She knew she couldn't help Harry much if she couldn't even help herself today.
"Do you ever think about it?" He finally broke the strained silence.
"All too often," Hermione admitted. It was hard to forget some of the things they saw as kids and teens. It was a lot to put on any adult. She didn't know how they managed to stay this sane. "It doesn't go away."
"Not even on the best days," Harry continued for her. This was the worst part of the truth. Some days, he and Ginny could be the happiest couple and go about their days perfectly but Harry could still feel the pain tugging at him.
Hermione pulled Harry to her into a tight hug. She didn't do it for him though, mainly for her. During their travel alone last year, they had gotten very close and she could never forget that. She was the worst company after Ron left but Harry stuck it out with her. Now she was going to do the same for him. Even if she did need some help of her own. "But at least we made it."
Harry nodded into her hair and sunk deeper into their hug. Ginny was very protective of Harry just like Ron was of Hermione and they didn't get much time like this. They could hardly be alone together anymore without one of their dates claiming them. Harry didn't realize until now just how much he missed her. "Do you think we made the right decisions?"
"About what?" Hermione asked releasing him from the hug. Harry wished she wouldn't have because now he had to stare into her big brown eyes. He groaned inwardly and tried to push through his discomfort.
"Just in general…" Harry mumbled. He had so much confusion in him that he didn't even know what he meant to say. "You know, I don't feel happy. I don't feel right. Maybe I messed up somewhere down the line…"
"I think I did the same thing too sometimes," Hermione confessed. She liked Ron, a lot, but sometimes, things felt out of place. She didn't feel the joy she expected from their relationship. They fought often and disagreed about everything. And that was only the beginning.
"What do you think we messed up with?" Harry asked, staring intently on the fire. He loved how they could talk like this and be so open and honest. He didn't feel like he had to filter what he was thinking. He knew Hermione would get it. She had seen him at his worst. She would always get it.
"I've been trying to figure out the same thing," She said looking down at her hands, unable to meet his green eyes. She silently cursed his mother for giving him such piercing and deep green eyes. "I didn't realize you were unhappy too," She said shamefully.
"Same here, I feel like crap for ignoring you," Harry put a hand on her knee and gave it a quick squeeze. "We need to do this more often."
"If I could ever get away from Ronald," Hermione snorted. Then they both looked up at each other with the same understanding. Is that where they messed up? Did they choose the wrong people? But the moment was soon over when someone apparated into the room. It was Ginny.
Their moment was over. Their moment of understanding was suddenly gone when reality popped into the room. They both glanced at each other before welcoming Ginny who had finally found him. Maybe some things were best left unsaid. And maybe some things would just left be unsaid no matter how right they really were.
Life is full of uncertainties and decisions. And both of them couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if Ginny wouldn't have popped in. Either way, life goes on.
Again, completely pointless. But I have nothing else to do since I'm stuck in my house during this dang hurricane. So review and tell me what you guys thought. I can take some criticism and stuff. Thanks for reading!