~~Review replies!

Azure-Blue-15: Somehow I forgot to finish my reply and now I forget what to say. "Make sure to look forward for the next chapter" I think? Sorry, I don't even know how that happened! Thank you for the review!

Little Kagamine Love: I can understand your review well, don't worry! I'm really happy that you keep up with this story. It's the same with me, I read fanfics because of the pairings (and I don't really read Rin×anyone-else-that's-not-Len stories) so I understand that. You're welcome, I'm glad being able to deliver this story to you!

MoNoChRoMaDdIcT: I'm glad you liked it! The clue that I gave about EVS' name (+identity) is too vague, I admit that, I'm very sorry. I just have to make an explanation about that (＞_＜" ) So that's your reasoning? Wow, I should be feeling really honored... although it doesn't turn out the same as this story. It's fine! Where are you going to be more active in, then? Either way, good luck! Keep giving your best, MonoAddict-san!

AoKotori 14: Then there's no such thing like a peaceful morning *shot* And I like to ruin people's life *shot* I'm actually glad that you don't know me or I'll be dead *shot* Next chapter is here, please enjoy!

DontMindMe1234: Let's just see, shall we?

Guest(s): Thank you for the review!

koizumi: You're very welcome! I'm glad to be able to write, but it's all nothing without readers. So thank you very much for reading this story, and reviewing!

And I also want to thank those who added this story to their favorites and alert lists! My thanks also goes to the readers for following through this story! Now please enjoy the chapter!

Note: All the previous chapters have been edited (I did some... patching, for the holes). It is recommended to reread them as (I think) it'll make more sense now before moving on to the overly long final chapter (10.5k words).

"Have you sent your transcripts yet?"

"Almost."

"Rin, you…" Mom trails off in the middle of her sentence. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Uh, yeah, I am!" I turn my head briefly to face Mom who is setting up the table for dinner. I've just done cooking for the said dinner, but after I'm done with it I simply leave it in the kitchen, thinking that there's still some minutes before having to eat. And now I am… sitting in front of my computer doing some stuffs that I don't think I need to say. You've probably figured it out already, anyway.

"That can be put aside. The transcript first!"

"B-but I'm almost done! Juuust a little bit more—I need to get this done before December!"

I can hear the sound of light stomping coming right to me, followed by yet another call. "Do it while you're on that seat! It wouldn't be funny if you lose the scholarship because you didn't send the transcript on time. Remember what I said?"

"I-it's a once-in-a-lifetime chance," I stutter out, facing back at Mom nervously. She's staring at me with eyes narrowed, hands crossed in front of her chest. Gulping, I turn back at the computer and minimized the sequencer window immediately, bringing up an browser in its place. "Yes, I'll do it! I'll do it!"

A moment after that I'm busying myself with the transcripts, uploading it one-by-one through the email. Now that I look at my scores during my high school year, it's nothing special—I'm actually somewhere average (and sometimes below average) in class. And yet what I'm doing right now is sending my score transcript for a scholarship Houka University of Music* offered to me. It makes me think about it; momentarily taking a break from mouse-clicking, that it really is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to get a scholarship from a renowned music school. Not something I've thought even a little bit before, but it happened. But then again, this didn't come from nowhere—like they would give scholarship to a random student with no talent or interest or whatsoever. The thing I do is what brings me to this.

I'm a music producer. I create music, filling the empty void of sound with arranged waveforms, reaching the ears of the listener through the internet, making it possible for anyone to listen to my songs. Although I can't play any musical instrument, it's not a matter. Although I have to use of virtual instruments, input the notes manually with mouse clicks, and taking much more time than what it should be, as long as I can make it, then I will. I will continue to make music, no matter what, because making music is something I—

"Have you done, Rin?" Mom's voice cuts through. "The dinner is ready, come here if you're done!"

Waking up from my thought, I turn my head back, trying to catch her glimpse from my desk. "Oh, yeah! I'm coming!"

"You really have done it, right?" Mom squints her eyes as she tries to look at the far-away computer screen, maybe she's trying to check my task. "Don't leave it unfinished and end up forgetting to send it, I warn you. Finish it first before coming."

"No, I'm really done," I say a moment after glancing at the screen, finding a message that reads 'message sent', and then I leave the desk. "Besides… I'm interested in it, there's no way I would leave it…"

I love music. Because of that, no matter what, I should continue on, that's what somebody told me before. And I'm holding on his words; that's exactly what I will do.

Chapter Forty-Six

"It's almost winter?"

"It's… always 'almost winter' during this time of the year, though." While taking a short glance at the speaker, a certain teal-haired girl sitting in front of me, I retort.

"Not really. I mean…" Miku trails off as she glances out through the window. "It's gonna be our last winter as a high schooler, no? It's the last season we'll go through during our high school year, actually."

I follow her gaze to the window. One leaf just happens to be falling down from the tree and unconsciously I follow its trail, falling so slowly as if it was floating in the air, and after a while it finally hits the ground softly.

What Miku said leaves me in a thought. It's the last winter during this high school year. It's the last season we'll experience in this school, too. Just by realizing that, the season has once again passed, anybody should be aware of that fact.

Graduation is coming really soon.

Well, not that nobody is unaware of it, anyway. Graduation means leaving high school and continuing to university, and continuing to university means having to face the dreaded entrance exam**. Nobody could be unaware of that fact… unless if they didn't care about their future, which I doubt would ever happen. This school isn't the best, but, well, it's not bad at all.

"Yeah," I say in response. "I could be saying that it feels just like yesterday when I got accepted in this school, but it's almost three years ago… isn't it…"

"Well, now I feel old. You know that being a high schooler is the most wonderful phase in a girl's life. It's the time girls experience love and all those sweet things… beside being an easy fetishist target."

"Why are you listing 'sweet things' together with 'easy fetishist target' anyway…"

"But it's just this thing, high school girl this and high school girl that! It's like you've just arrived at this realization this exact second, Rin-chan, it's all over the place! Sure it feels weird when you're a high school girl herself, but I kinda understand why… High school girls really are cute."

"I somehow… find that hard to comprehend, Miku-chan."

She gives me a toothy grin, hearing my response. "Let me give you an example. So there's this girl, a talented music producer who hid her identity as a producer… When she finally revealed herself, she turns out to be a cute high school girl, for real. And you know what they say? 'A cute high school girl producer!' You know how much they emphasize the 'cute high school girl' part?!"

Initially I wanted to ignore whatever explanation she's gonna give me, but I just can't—because that is what happened. But before I can think about it any further or coming up with another retort, she has moved to another topic. "Anyways, I heard about the scholarship! You decided to take the offer, right?"

I can't help but blush at that. Being reminded of that makes me feel embarrassed. With this crawling heat on my face, I reply to her, "Y-yeah. It's a great chance, after all. It'd be bad to miss it."

"Of course," she says, more to herself. "Houka University is a really famous school. It's a real honor to get a personal scholarship offer from the university themselves."

"It is," I say, absentmindedly. Somehow I can't get over the fact that I managed to get that offer. It's just unbelievable; every single talk about it, whether it's with my parents or my friends, it always leave me thinking. How such thing can happen, or why it's me who get that offer… That has no end, I just can't get that thought off.

"Hey, Miku-chan," I call the girl sitting in front of me. "Don't you think it's like… a miracle, for something like this to happen?"

She doesn't give an answer right away. Instead she stays silent for a while, as if trying to think of an answer. It doesn't last long, though, as she starts to speak, tugging her lips into a smile. "I can't say that. It's not a miracle. It's something you've worked so hard on so it's surely not a miracle. Don't you think it won't happen without your efforts?"

I understand where she got that from, though. Of course it's not without effort; it doesn't take one or two days to make music, for sure. And to think that I've been doing this for a quite while, it is certainly not effortless. "Yeah. But do you think this would happen if that… thing about EV-san didn't happen?"

Actually this is what happened.

As like what you already know, EV System's sudden announcement of his retirement makes people become desperate for explanation, and not a few of them seek for my help. I do understand why people turn at me, as I was, you can say, the last person who really got in touch with him, as far as attending Comiket with him. But I couldn't give much help, as I was in a confusion myself. I couldn't say that I don't know anything about that, but I couldn't say that I know something about that, either. It's… too confusing even until this time for me to understand. And I didn't really want to think about it (for some obvious reason) anyway, so I simply said that I don't know as an answer.

But beside that was another thing. That way, more people discovered my works, and I suddenly get loads of feedback from people who happen to stumble and take a liking to my music. Actually I've been receiving more feedbacks from the time I decided to show up in Comiket, but EV System's sudden disappearance seems to make the number increase. I don't quite get it why two opposite things results in the same outcome; me gaining more recognition from people. Maybe because it's the same person who caused it, anyway—EV System's appearance… and his retirement. It's as if I'm riding on his popularity. Or even worse, being his replacement. As he's gone, I'm there to take his place. While it's not an exactly bad thing, I just feel that… I don't really deserve it.

But that isn't completely caused by his disappearance, though. My attendance in Comiket made some proof that, well, I'm really a high school girl doing some music-making stuff… and that's a huge thing, sort of. It's just like what Miku just said, a "music producer who is a high school girl" becomes the reason of the hype, at least on the internet.

Or so I thought in the beginning. But no, it's not just a short-lasting hype, neither a internet-only hype, as I suddenly received an email from Houka, saying that they'd like to give a scholarship to me. I just… didn't believe it at the beginning, that I even asked the help of a Gumiya to track the origins of the email. She later figured out that… the email wasn't a scam, which means that offer is as real as real could be.

They say something like, they're giving an scholarship offer by taking account of my skill and talent on music. Honestly it freaks me out that even the most famous music school in the entire nation recognizes me, but if that's what they really think of me, well, it's needless to say that I'm happy. But honestly, I never thought that things would turn out this way—wasn't the reason of the whole thing is EV System? They can say that I got what it takes to advance, but first of all… Would this even happen if only EV System didn't retire? Of course it's because of him. I'm not sure I'd get this much exposure if only that didn't happen. That's why that question can't leave my mind.

But then again, if he didn't retire but somehow I still get as much recognition as I have right now… wouldn't it still because of him? I wouldn't even try to make music (and get good with it) if it's not because of him.

"You know," Miku begins. "Even though that's what you think, EV-san could still upload music without you getting really attached to it back then. He could still continue to make music without you going around making rearrangement of his songs. It is you, after all, who decided to do that, he didn't force you or anything. It's all of your own will. So what you have now is really because your own doings, Rin-chan."

"… Yeah," I hesitantly mumbles. "But I don't think I'd do all of that if I didn't stumble upon his songs. There's just something about his music that moves me, and…"

"I can't help but agreeing with you on that," she says. "EV-san is… I don't know, a wonder himself. It was him who convinced me to sing more, after all, despite knowing that I will face the inevitable of having to take over the business. And now here I am."

Miku's debut album is a success. Given her already established fans from the time she's with EV System who are ready to support her full-heartedly, it's no surprise that the sales skyrocketed. Because of that her popularity rises up to some extent—she even not rarely gets invited to TV shows and the kinds. It's actually a wonder that she's here with me right at this moment, considering her busyness. But well, like what she said, she has no choice but to take over the family business, so she needs to spend her time for academic matters as well, I think. But not that she's not good enough in that…

"I'm just the same, actually. It's true that I was the one who decided to keep singing, but if only he didn't give me that encouragement, I don't know how things will turn out. I know that it wouldn't be the same." She then lets out a small giggle. "He does hold a place in my… our hearts, for sure. I totally can see why you think that way."

"He didn't say anything to you?"

She tilts her head in confusion, hearing my sudden question. "Huh?"

"EV-san. He didn't say anything to you about his… retirement?"

"Huh. I thought if he's about to say anything, he'd say it to you, considering the situation," she replies. "But no, he didn't. I've tried everything, you know. Messaging him, calling him… even actually trying to visit him at one time, but he gave no answer to either. It's just… nothing. Nothing that he left but that one tweet, as if he really has disappeared into the thin air. Although I still want to thank him for all the things he has gave me that leads me to this, he's… gone."

Well. I know for sure that the loss isn't only on my side. Miku does feel it too, as well as a lot of people out there. But there's really nothing we can do—we should respect his decision, after all. And anyways, I've decided to continue on making music despite of that, so I shouldn't really dwell on it.

"I was told that EV-san is not real," I told her. "But when his absence makes people feel a great loss like this, there's no way that he's not real—he's real. And he might not continue to make music anymore, but all that matters is that he's real."

Although it would be good if only I can see him again… Not in the literal sense of meeting him or seeing him physically, though. Just through the Internet is fine. And it doesn't really have to be only between him and me—I'm fine just with a slight activity of him. Just something, something that proves that he's still there. I just want to see him there somewhere…

But that's becoming more like an empty wish.

Earlier Miku passed a message that the counseling teacher wants me to see him, so what I am doing right now is walking down the hallway, heading to the counseling room which is on the second floor. It's lunchtime, a lot of people are outside of the class, walking to and from the cafeteria—I've just walked back from the cafeteria myself, but I got that info as soon as I got in the class, so I get out again. Since the weather is chilling up outside, it seems that nobody wants to eat on the outside, hence the traffic in the hallway (if that can be considered as 'traffic').

… I wonder if I can find Len in the middle of this crowd.

In this third year of high school, I'm not in the same class as him. The only time we will (likely to) stumble on each other is during the break times, in the corridors, precisely this moment. But even so, every time we do stumble on each other, it's nothing but a mere glance at each other's eyes with not even a single word uttered from our mouths.

Nobody in the school knows what happened that night, the chain of events that happened after I accidentally walked into the studio in Len's house. But the way we (seem to) purposely try to avoid each other shortly after that makes people realize it without us having to tell it—we broke up. Thankfully nobody bothered to ask about it further to me, as it's not really something I'd like to talk about.

The last time I had an actual talk with Len was the time when I told him that I will continue making music—that was almost a year ago. After that we didn't talk to each other unless necessary, like if it's concerning the class. But then as the new term came, we got assigned to different classes, and talking becomes even more unnecessary. And here we are, making nothing but eye contacts.

But that only makes me search for him. Involuntarily, subconsciously, my eyes would scan the hallway the moment I step a foot out from the classroom, just to get a glance of him. Just to see him. Yeah, see as in… see. Nothing more. I wonder why, maybe because I really want to see him, I usually managed to find him, no matter what. But if it's this crowdy, I'm not too sure myself if I can find him.

I can't see him in the middle of the crowd. Knowing that fact makes me feel kind of disappointed, but more to myself. Usually I can find him even in a crowd like this… But well, unless if he's not here, then I can't see him (well, obviously).

I decided to shrug that matter off and just head downstairs. I have a teacher waiting for me, after all, I shouldn't be bothered with this at all. But as I turn to the stairs and take a few steps down, I spot a familiar blond there—the person I've been looking for.

Len is standing motionlessly in the midsection, staring out through the small window. In his hand is his phone, which he holds against his ear. I'm guessing that he's making a call with someone, and he looks really absorbed in it, too.

Curiosity builds up, and without really thinking, I go to approach him. I don't particularly want to know what he's talking about, or who is on the other line, but I just want to… I haven't heard his voice for a while, so I might as well step closer just to hear his voice.

"… No need, I can manage it by myself, I can just bring the rest at some other time… Huh? No really, I'm alright."

… English?

Initially I don't want to know what he's talking about and who's he's talking to, but after hearing that, I can't help it. It could be his friends from over there, or maybe Lily, or it could be anyone who is capable of speaking English, of course, but… What is it about that it needs to be said in English? Still, it could be just about anything, but it just makes me want to know. I'm not in the place to know, I know, but I also know that I can't help it.

"I've booked it—yeah, yeah, everything's fine. Actually, sheesh, I've been living alone for the whole time of high school, why do you think that… Yeah, but it's a waste of time and money; you don't have to, really. I'll get there safe and sound, just wai—"

He turns around, his words getting cut in the middle, probably from the surprise of not expecting someone to be standing behind him… and I didn't expect that, either. I can see his face of confusion for a brief moment, because the next thing I do is stuttering out a "sorry" and turning around, heading to the stairs below in a fast motion.

Bad Rin! You know that eavesdropping is not a nice thing to do, yet you still do it! But it's just… I don't even know what Len is up to as for lately—although it really isn't my business. But… Well, I probably need to apologize to him again later. Now back to the business.

The counseling room is somewhere near the stairs, so I get here in no time (maybe because I was running earlier, anyway). I push the door open after excusing myself. The teacher sees me right away and asks me to come inside. "Oh, Kagamine-san, just take the seat there."

I sit on the chair across him, facing the table. "What is it, Sensei?"

"Nothing much," he says while crossing his arms on the table. "I just want to ask about how your scholarship is going. I hope you have no problem with the preconditions, maybe if you have something to ask?"

"It's going well. I've mailed my transcript to them, and they said that the interview will be held on next Sunday."

"So you've made your final choice of accepting the scholarship, then."

"Of… course. Why wouldn't I? It is such a great honor to be able to enroll in Houka with a full scholarship, and throwing it away would be a waste."

"I wonder," he begins. "They told me that there is another student from Yamabashioka who also got the chance to apply for scholarship, but he refused the offer. They didn't tell me who that student is, but that makes me think that maybe Yamabashioka has much more student with talents like that."

The first thing that he said picked my interest, though, and I immediately ask after he's finished with his words, "Is he… Um, a scholarship from Houka, isn't it? What is the thing that makes him becomes Houka's interest?"

"He makes music and self-publishes them, just like you. They said that the scholarship offers are sent to the two of you because you published a collaboration work of some sort. Is that true?"

… Oh.

I shouldn't be surprised, really. Because well, who else should it be?

I shift on my seat nervously. "We did."

At the same time, memories are rushing into my mind, recalling the event. The collaboration work we planned, the things I needed to deal with while making it, the time we sold them together, it was all a happy memory. Of course, with him being the person I'm a really huge fan of, working—or doing anything—together is a nice thing that will always leave a smile on my face.

But at the same time, being reminded of the collaboration work just gives me a mixed feeling. The collaboration album was the last thing he'd worked on before 'taking a break for an undecided time from making music'. That was the last of him.

"Really? I see. Then, two students from Yamabashioka who makes music—I never had any idea about that… They told me that much, but I can't put a finger on who he is." He laughs with his deep voice, and I just find myself smiling nervously—I just have to. "Since you've worked with him, then I'm sure you know who that person is. Mind telling me?"

EV System.

"Kagamine Len."

The topic about cram school is getting hot in the class.

… I've probably picked the weird way to say it, but yeah, that's it. Since the university entrance exam is somewhere near the corner, everyone's been talking about it non-stop. Asking recommendation of good cram schools, telling the stuffs they've learned there, and so on, but never gets too far from that. I'm not going to one myself—I've pretty much secured a place already in that certain university, there's no need to cram that hard for the upcoming entrance exam.

But you know what? The thing I need to cram hard for is the final exam. I mean, yeah, I don't have to bother with the university entrance matter anymore, but even so, what university would accept someone who failed their final exam in high school? And I'm at the brink of it…

I made songs—my time was spent for that. It's… not a good thing, in a context. I might be able to make music, something that not everyone can do especially if they're in my age, but as a student my responsibility is to study, and I… don't really do that. So I'm facing the consequences. Ha.

Studying during the break times in the library is just right. I might look like somekind of ambitious student, but that's just the truth, I'll fail if I don't study right. Other than it being a completely free time for me (no more trying (and failing desperately) to write lyrics, no more of that), I don't really have the time to do it home; Comiket just happen to be right in front of my eyes (not really) and so I need to finish my songs before that time comes.

I really hold on my words—that I'll continue on making music, even if EV System doesn't do anymore. Since there's no new song coming from him, I've shifted from rearranging his songs to making my own original works. To think that what makes me didn't do that from the very beginning is my inability to write lyrics, well, the fact that I'm now making originals doesn't mean I magically got the skill to write lyrics, of course. An underclassman who claims to be a fan of mine helped me with that—that's not an important story for now, though, but you got the idea that I have someone who writes lyrics for my songs now.

… Although, the fact that I'm here is because she doesn't have to come and discuss things with me this time. Well, the album production is getting close to be finished and it's mainly on my side, hence my busyness at home. Yeah, like what I've said before, I'm making my original songs and sell it at Comiket. After I uploaded my first-ever original song, it mainly got positive feedbacks, and that encourages me to sell it at Comiket again, like at that time.

That time, huh. It feels so far away back in the past, yet also feels like it just happened yesterday. This makes me feel horribly nostalgic when I shouldn't be—I shouldn't be thinking of these in the first place, though. Let's save the thought about Comiket and the sentimental feelings for later and just focus on studying for now.

I stare at the book in front of me. It's open, showing equations and numbers that seemed to mock me in some way—because I get stuck trying to solve the question. Ugh, even studying has it's limit, no matter how much you're willing to do it… unless if I'm actually not as willing as what I thought I am. But no, this is for the good of your future, Rin! If you don't understand something, then get up and look for something to help you with!

With a heavy sigh, I pull myself up from the seat. Let's see, which section should I head to get the reference books for this mathematical-question-beyond-my-wonder… I'm not a fan of books so I didn't use to come here, and this library is surprisingly big for the size of our school so it's just normal for me to get confused with it. Let's see where the math books are…

After walking for a while, I found what I'm looking for—a shelf full of math references books. I quickly pull one of the book and start flipping it desperately. I just want to get over with this, so the quicker the better. But before I can start reading anything on the book, my ears catches something. The voice of people—two people, a boy and a girl—talking hushedly, seeming to try to keep calm inside the library. It sounds like they're discussing about a scientific topic… or something. Maybe they're studying together, not anything out of ordinary as most of the students in my year are studying hard for the entrance exam. Yes, even the likes of Hatsune Miku who practically has zero need to study (I don't even know her actual motives, although she said that "It wouldn't be fair if I take the exam without studying when the others do!" which of course I answered with "I think it won't be fair to the others if you study, Miku-chan…").

The familiarity of the voice is what catches my attention, though. It sounds like Len, maybe it's Len? I can just turn myself around to see if it's really him since the voice comes from behind me, but then… what if it's really him, anyway? It's not that I have something I need to say to him—except maybe to apologize for eavesdropping him some days ago. But then it's just that, nothing more. And I shouldn't think that much about it, I just need to turn my head around!

I clutch the book close to my chest as I turn around cautiously for a reason I don't quite understand myself, and I just feel my heartbeat accelerating when I finally have my head turned and see him sitting on one of the chairs. It's… It's really Len. What should I do now—although I know I shouldn't be doing anything since it's none of my concern, but… I think I've seen the girl he's sitting with before. The yellow color of her hair and the way she wear it in a side ponytail kinda remind me of Mom's old photos so I can't really get it out from my head, but I don't know who she is. Maybe it's a girl from his class, asking for his help with studying.

A sudden sound breaks the silence—the sound of chair legs screeching against the floor. Then there's a loud thump that sounds like the books being put on the wooden table. Another screeching sound follows after, along with light footsteps. Then faintly I can hear the girl saying, "Thanks so much, Kagamine-kun!"

Okay, so she calls him with his last name, so presumably she's not his girlfriend… but I shouldn't be using that as the base for taking that conclusion. Then friends? Just friends? Or if not, what then? Maybe she's just asking for his help because he's good at it?

Why am I even thinking about this?! It's none of my concern! Len can do whatever he wants with his life, and it's really none of my concern! What I should be worrying about is the math question that I've yet managed to solve—yeah, that! Not Len!

As the two of them have finished their study, it gets somewhat calmer over here. The footsteps have gotten too far away to be heard as well, perhaps that girl has gone away. I too, should go back to the desk and try to solve the question—I've been clutching on this book and that's it, I haven't even read it.

I'm ready to take my leave when I hear the screeching sound again. I turn back to the direction where the sound comes from, and noticing that Len is going to leave as well. I can see him picking up his books and turns away from the desk—

"Wait!"

He turns, his stare landing at me. Upon noticing my presence, he offers me a smile. And yes, I totally just realized what I've done and WHY DID I EVEN CALL HIM?! That was… What was that even for?! And while I'm just standing here not even knowing what to do with the situation (and holding the urge to smack myself or something), Len, who doesn't know about my inner panic, proceeds to say, "It's been a while."

Huh? It's been a… Whaa, I wasn't expecting that to come out from his mouth—what am I expecting, anyway? Still flabbergasted, I nervously step back while stuttering out, "Y-yeah, it's been a while," with an equally nervous smile on my face.

O… Okay, now what?

"Do you need a help with studying? I'd be glad to help if you need it."

My eyes widen at his sudden offer. I'm actually not here for that… What am I here for, anyway? To pick a book, but that was long done. Now I can just go back and continue to study by myself again. Only then I look down to the book in my clutch.

Ah. He probably noticed what I'm holding in my hands, that's why he asks. I should be fine by myself, but, if that's the case, should I refuse? He's willing to help me, after all.

Besides, it really has been a while.

"Yeah… That'd be nice."

It's the two of us, sitting next to each other, studying together inside of the quiet library. Once in a while, the silence will be broken by Len's voice as he tries to explain the lesson, or by the scratchings of my pencil, but it's mostly silent. I don't know where the other students are, nor I want to know—it doesn't really matter for now.

It's weird. This sensation of being together is weird. It's something I'm used with, yet it feels like it's something I'm not used with. I don't even know what I'm saying, but I can't explain, it's just… strange. We're sitting together like this as if the time when we kissed didn't happen. As if… nothing had happened. But something clearly has happened, I wouldn't feel this way if it hadn't happened, technically speaking…

I've realized my feelings towards him. Studying together is something we've done several times, but not with this realization inside of me. That alone makes this feels familiar but unfamiliar at the same time.

Len said that it has been a while—sure it has. Just how long has it been since we actually have a moment together like this? Sitting leisurely (although I doubt 'studying' has the component of 'leisure') while having a conversation (although it's all about math), this is much more than just exchanging glances to each other, and more than just hearing each other's voice from far away.

Doesn't this kinda remind me of something…?

"I'm sorry for that time."

It seems that my sudden apology catches his attention, as he turns his head from the book to me. "Hm?" he questions.

I quickly avert my gaze away. "Um, that time, I overheard you when you were having a call some days ago. I'm sorry for that." That's totally a lie, though. It's called eavesdropping, not overhearing.

"Ah, no problem with that. You were just passing by, right?"

"Yeah, I was heading to the counseling room." Well at least that part isn't a lie. But to be fair, I couldn't understand what he was saying so that can just pass as 'overhearing' when I was 'passing by'. But anyway, talking about counseling…

"I heard that you got a scholarship from Houka University," Len says while resting his elbow on the desk. "Congrats."

Ignoring the fact that wow, it's so scary that he decided to bring it up when I was thinking about it, I thank him nonetheless, "Well, thank you!" While I'm wondering just how far this news has spread out, at the same time it reminds me about what the teacher told me at that time, about the other student who got the same offer. "Sensei told me that you… were offered the same scholarship. But it's just, he said that you declined it."

"I did."

His straightforward answer with no hesitation in the slightest catches me off guard. I immediately throw my glance at him, but I can't say anything. His face is calm, much contrary to my own, and unreadable. Only after a while my words finally find its way out from my mouth, "Why? Don't you… You know, you're much better in music than me, so I found it odd that…"

"Me better than you isn't really right," he says. "I can play the instruments, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm in any way better than you. I thought that what you've been doing is much better than what… Being able to make music that way is outstanding. Either way, you deserve that scholarship, so it's nothing odd."

I frown. Although he got a point there, I think I'm missing my own point. "Yeah, but… I thought if you got the same offer, you would accept it—I mean, aren't you interested in it?"

"In music?"

Suddenly it feels like I shouldn't have asked that, after hearing his responses from the beginning of this talk. Like, maybe I've gone too far, or maybe he feels uncomfortable with the topic—and I should've known better, please don't deny something that's obvious enough. How wouldn't he be not uncomfortable with that? But I think it's already too late to take back my words and change the topic. "Yeah," I say, with a response lacking of enthusiasm.

"If I'm about to call it interest, no, maybe…" he trails off. After a short silence, he looks up, as if trying to picture something on the white ceiling. "It's not just that. I think that I might have come to like it more than I should."

I turn my head questioningly to him upon hearing his unexpected answer.

"I mean, I've always enjoyed it, but I never thought that I would like it this much," he continues. "It's just, it feels really empty without it. Maybe I really have become too attached to it."

I didn't know anything about that, about how he feels about it. But after he said that, suddenly I can understand him—towards music, we hold the same feeling. Although there are some things that I still don't understand, as for me, that feeling is the thing that makes me go forward. If it really is the same feeling, then he would have done the same, but that isn't what happens.

"Then why?" I can't help but asking.

Len averts his gaze from me. "I can't."

Another 'why' is caught on my throat—somehow I managed to prevent myself from asking again. I can read the atmosphere just fine, I know what's the best to do, so I decided to keep the question to myself. Being in this uncomfortable silence isn't good either, so I come up with something else, "Then where do you plan on continuing your study?"

"Not sure," comes his answer. "Although I'm considering on going to America."

There's this pang in my chest, a feeling I can't mistake for something else. But I know that I should have seen that coming, it's not supposed to be surprising, at all. Actually that makes absolute sense—someone like him would be able to go study abroad easily… Although, I know, that probably isn't it.

"Is Japan not good?" I ask, looking down at my feet. He still hasn't decided whether to go for real or not, right? Maybe he will change his mind later. Maybe he'll reconsider his consideration. Maybe he will…

"Not that." He takes a long pause before continuing, "I really need to go back."

Aside from the 'what for' question I have in my head, his words make me think. He said 'back'. It means going somewhere he actually belong—not here. His family stays there, nothing out of ordinary that he wants to go to stay with them—there, not here. And when he said 'back', does it hold the meaning of returning here some time in the future, or does it not?

I don't think I have the right to ask, no matter how much I want to ask. If he wants me to know, he'll surely tell me, but if he doesn't, well, why should I know?

"If that's what you're planning on doing… W-well, good luck."

And that's the only thing I can get out from my mouth. Nothing else… but that. It's inevitable, I can do nothing about it, so what else can I say but a good luck wish? I remember Len saying the same thing to me before, back then. This is how it feels? Having those words coming out from my mouth?

He smiles at me. "Thank you, I really appreciate that."

I smile in return, unable to say anything. Things are running, thoughts filling my head, it's not like I can ever not think about the thing he just told me. Len is… going away. From this place, from my reach. Even though our distance has grown farther since that day of the discovery, it's just, it's going to grow even farther. Don't even think about not being able to get close to him, fixing what is broken, then asking him why—not only about his reason for declining the scholarship and his decision on going away, but about everything—or think about not being able to talk about something less personal. Not even my eyes will be able to see him, even from afar.

This is for the best. Is this for the best? There was a lot of time when we could be together back then, but it had ended, all because of me. It's just understandable that Len being away from me is for the best—I hurt him, I should stay away to prevent myself from inflicting more wounds to him. This is… for the best. I like him, I should do the best for the person I like… right?

But if so, why does it hurt so much? If anything, I should be feeling happy, but I don't. Maybe I'm just selfish, wanting things I don't deserve. But can I help having that feeling?

"I think this is enough for today. You… Are you fine with that?"

Len's voice makes me turn my eyes back to him, cutting my train of thoughts in process. After looking at his questioning look, I answer, "Yeah, of course—I mean, thank you for all your problem for, uh, teaching me and stuffs… I'm really happy that you actually bothered to…"

"No, really, it's fine. You don't cause me inconvenience or anything, Rin—"

Then he stops abruptly, face showing a slight surprise, as if he was not expecting the words to come out from his mouth.

He said my name.

After a long time, he said it again, my name. It somehow feels… like something I've been longing for. Just like the times before when we were closer, as if we were back to those time.

But as much as I don't want to admit it, I got to admit it, it's not. It's the exact opposite—we're going to be separated even farther rather than getting closer again. And that's it.

Goodbye… again.

"Well, I," Len starts again, "gotta go."

He picks up his books in one swift motion and stands up from his seat quickly, ready to head away from the library. That officially ends today's tutor session, and for the next…

Would I be able to—would we be able to do this again? Is there going to be another moment of this? Or was it the last? I'm sure I don't have any business with him, I shouldn't. So small chance, maybe very small chance, that we will study together like this ever again.

Or anything together, ever again. No more of this.

"See you later." After saying that, Len walks away from the desk, leaving me who's still on the chair behind. I stay. I won't be able to catch up with him, anyway, I still got my stuffs all over the desk.

He goes, I stay. This is yet another inevitable goodbye—

No. Not yet. I still have something to tell him. Something important; before everything ends.

"Len, I…"

He turns back to me as I trail off. His face isn't showing any particular expression, but I just can tell that he's waiting for me to continue. He stops upon hearing my call, after all.

"I'll be there on next week's Comiket. Will you… Will you come and see?"

He doesn't answer right away, filling it with silence instead. And that only makes my heartbeat becomes faster and louder, and the fact that it's really silent doesn't help at all. This loud thumping, it's caused by my nervousness of asking that to him and my anxiety of waiting for his answer.

But it doesn't come, his answer doesn't come. My heart is already beating so fast, yet the answer hasn't come—

"I'll come."

And I think my heart skipped a beat just now. But I quickly recover, and use that opportunity to look at him—he's still there, standing while facing me, smiling reassuringly. "I promise I will come," he says once again.

Only once is enough. I only need that one answer for one time. That makes me really happy already. It's enough, really.

"Thank you," I managed to whisper out just before he turns away once again and resumes walking towards the door.

Before he goes, before that happens, I want to tell him. I want to tell him that I've come this far, I've reached the place I wouldn't have imagined being at before.

I've done my best. Although what's awaiting ahead is always inevitable, at least, I want to tell him that…

"I did it. I've proven that… I'm not helpless. Just like what you've told me before, EV Sys… Len, I'm not. I've changed, I'm not that old Rin anymore. That's why, see me, look at me right now—"

—although, I know, no matter what, my 'thank you' won't be enough. But let me let you know, for one last time before you go. Even from back then, without you knowing, you've been helping me, Len. It might be through some 'person' called EV System, but it's you, after all…

I want to tell him that.

I can just ignore the sound of the bell ringing in the background. Now that I'm all alone in this library, it's okay to get carried away by my own overflowing emotion. It's even okay to just let it pour out, the tears from my eyes.

"Even a convention feels really different if you got the popularity…"

I turn my head to the source of voice, confused with the sudden statement coming from the dark brown haired girl sitting beside of me. She's Kokone, an underclassman in my school who just happens to be a fan of mine (so she had admitted). And knowing my suckiness at writing lyrics, she offered her help as a writer (and she has no idea how much I am helped with that). Now we've become partners in music for a little while, well, since I start making more songs by myself, and she's been attending Comiket with me during those times.

Okay, back to the current situation when I'm showing up my confuse to her, "Huh?"

"You know, I was once in another circle before this, which is not that well-known. Don't even think about having all the stuff getting sold out in matters of minutes; we ended up having some left unsold until the end of the event," she explains. "Your popularity is sure scary, Rin-senpai."

"Is… Is that so?" I smile nervously after hearing that from her. "Then again we don't have that much stuff to sell, just one album… and artwork book from Megpoid-san."

She shakes her head disapprovingly. "I've been following you from the times when you still do rearrangements. I know that even at from time you already have the popularity, Rin-senpai. That's really great."

I turn my attention to the moving crowd in front of me. "D-don't flatter me that much, Kokone-chan…"

But at the same time I can't just deny that. It's the Winter Comiket again. With the cold wind gushing outside, people are flocking inside of this huge building. From the place I'm sitting at, I can see many people are still opening their business, with CD cases stacked on their table. While that's the situation over there, Kokone and I have been sitting here behind empty table for a quite while already, having no more things to sell to the people. Although it's not much stuff that we sell, we didn't put exactly small number of copies to be sold in this event. All we can do for now is bowing down in apology whenever people ask for a copy of the album, as in, apologizing for making them disappointed.

It's amazing, but it's amazing that it's scary. And it's happening in my second time attending Comiket, so this situation comes out as a surprise. Although, this might not exactly be my second time attending… It's the third time. But the first time I did, I was with EV System.

It has been exactly a year since that fateful meeting (shush, I just want to make it sounds more romantic and dramatic), and now that I am here again, the memory comes back. But course, at that time, I didn't think that things would turn out like this…

"Anyway, Rin-senpai, what kind of person EV System-san is?"

"He's a really talented person. He's a one-man producer, but all his works are amazing, almost like a professional work. And I like it that he put some meaning behind his songs."

That talent of his even could bring a name into fame—Mirai, the singer who starts off as a net singer. Although she's facing the inevitable of having to leave that path soon, his encouragement makes her get her chance before that happens.

"And I like that he appreciate people," I continue. "You know that despite his popularity, he still actively answered the feedbacks from his listeners."

I watched him. Compared to other people who I found in the internet, he's considerably nicer. One popular musician would just reply to their friends and acquaintances, but EV System always tried to answer even the feedbacks from his fan. Down to the point where he actually bothered to read through it and not giving an automated-like reply.

"He could get quite strict with things concerning works, but at the same time he's really considerate, too, as he was willing to help when I had problem with managing my time between school and arranging…"

Knowing that I am still a high school student struggling with studies (although he should be, too) he always tried to make things easier for me. Like the time when I was facing closer to the deadline while having to deal with the academical stuffs, he lent his hand for me so the work on my part would be simplified, yet he still gave me my part so I wouldn't feel that bad for—

But technically speaking, am I really talking (and thinking) about EV System or might I have 'confused' him with a particular… someone? Though, that aside, what have I been talking about? Really, only at this time I just realized that Kokone has just asked that out of the blue, and suddenly I become very aware of that.

"Um, what's with the sudden question, anyway? I just answered it without really thinking about it…" I smile sheepishly at her.

"Nothing, it just suddenly crossed my mind after thinking that Rin-senpai started making music because of him. Sorry if that causes you inconvenience," she says.

"N-not at all! It just, I'm a little surprised that you ask about that out of the blue," I admit.

Kokone sighs in relief. "I'm glad hearing that. Um, he went to last year's Comiket with you, right? It's kind of disappointing that he stops making music not long after that." Before moving on to her question, she makes a quick glance at me before looking away to the crowd again. "On the topic of EV System-san, is the rumor that he might return to make music again true?"

Her words leave me speechless for at least 5 seconds, before I managed to utter out a, "Huh?"

"Eh? You haven't heard it? I thought you would know something because it's your song, after all—"

"Wait, just wait, Kokone-chan. What is it that you're talking about?" I cut her mid-sentence just to ask that—but that's not a just, it's an important matter. Why have I never heard of something like that ever mentioned before? Although, to be fair, I don't really pay much attention to the topic of EV System anymore because I guess I will just respect his decision of stopping and try not to be bothered with it, but I honestly wasn't expecting something like that…? "And what about my songs? You know that it is you who writes the words, right? What does it have anything to do with EV-san?"

Ignoring the nervous look from Kokone (perhaps because of my sudden demand), I ask. And then she meekly answers, "I don't go to the details myself, but people said that your song indicates it—not the ones I write, but the one you made before that. The… Melody in Disarray? It was made after EV System-san's decision of retiring, but it shows that it's written by him…"

The familiarity of the title makes my heart beat faster. Of course; it's the song that's using the lyrics written by Len. The identity matter aside (as in 'who' writes those lyrics), I'm sure that I put Len's name in there, I'm really sure of it that there's no doubt that I did. Then what is it actually about?

"Hold on," I told Kokone and I pull my phone out from my bag, quickly scrolling through the list of my own works posted to a certain website. That song was posted about ten… eleven months ago, I guess it'll take a while before I found it listed…

Melody in Disarray
Music: Kagami Sound
Lyrics: EV System
Vocals: SF-A2 miki

No way. I didn't do this. I didn't write it as 'EV System' and I'm sure of it. I didn't do this, so how could this happen—and what's the meaning of this, anyway?! This isn't some sick joke pulled on me, right? Then again, how many people knows the truth behind all of this, anyway?

"That, or the relationship between Rin-senpai and EV System-san goes really bad that he wants to take revenge by claiming someone's work as his, or…"

"That's not it! I actually can't get touch with him at all after his announcement, so that couldn't be it," I frantically explain.

"If that so, if it's done without your consent, then he's claiming a work that's stated isn't his…? It was recently edited, people say, so could that be the case?"

"That isn't really the case—I know, just trust me. But even if that was the case, I don't think he could change the description of the video I uploaded on my account," I say. I mean, just how? I should be the one who have the access to edit things like that… But that's still not the biggest matter here. It's the fact that Len's (user)name got changed into EV System's…

And just then I feel my heart drumming against my ribcage. What is it?

"The album's all sold out?"

"We apologize for that." After dealing with several number of people asking that after seeing our empty table, giving that answers feels like an automatic response already. Bow, apologize, and offer a smile of regret to the people asking. I do so, without paying much attention (my mind is on something far more important), and I look up to see—

Blond messy hair. Stubby ponytail. Peculiar dark blue eyes. Glasses.

I totally didn't jump on my seat while trying to distance myself out of surprise. Totally not… not doing that. It's a miracle itself that my heart didn't actually jump out somewhere… just because. And explaining it would be totally unnecessary.

"E… EV-san?!" I exclaim after I managed to recover from my state of shock (on the outside; it's still a whole different story in the inside). "EV System-san, aren't you?!"

It's Kokone's turn to let out a little squeak of surprise, "Eh?!"

Looking unfaltering despite my totally visible surprise, he grins. "Yup."

"Huh? Eh?" Kokone expresses her puzzlement by looking at me and EV System back and forth. I don't actually bother with her puzzlement, since I have one myself.

While being at that, he casually continues, "I thought I would get the album, but I guess not, huh?" He offers me a smile of disappointment. "Well, it's my own fault for not coming earlier, I'm really sorry about that—"

"Why did you come?" I ask, voice softening as now my heartbeat has started to slow down to normal. But still, it's EV System; aside from being the EV System, his sudden appearance literally in front of me instead of saying anything through Twitter or something after months of inactivity still baffles me. I can't just still calm. "I mean… I thought you were done with all these stuffs and would just, pay no attention to it anymore…"

For a moment his expression stays still, before changing to a softer one, something I'm awfully familiar with. "That is what I wanna tell you," he says. "It's not like I can stop myself from making music. It's something I like—someone said to me that she's gonna continue making music because she likes it, so I guess there's nothing wrong with doing the same thing."

He gives me a nervous smile. "In reality, there's no way I can stop making music altogether. But a condition's holding me so I can't really do that as much. And I thought I want to take a breather myself… But now while I still have the chance, here." He suddenly hands me a CD case.

I take it, examining it immediately. "What is this?" I ask.

"Covers," he replies, "of your songs, done by me. Not much, though. Like what I've said, I can't make much. But I guess that'd be enough as a token of gratitude."

Needless to say, having this in my hands brings a smile to my face. Gratitude or not, getting a self-made CD from someone you admire so much is a great, great thing. I even doubt that my smile is even a smile; it probably look like a some weird grin right now.

"I thought you can't sing—you said that before. But, you're doing the thing I used to do with your songs, like you're doing it in return…" I pause to take a breath before continuing. "I feel so honored to receive this, thank you very much!"

He shakes his head. "No, really. I am very much helped in many ways thanks to you. Besides, it's really nothing compared to your arrangements."

"But you actually bothered to put it in a CD and came here to give it to me, although you could've uploaded it online…" Just like I did, I mean. Rearrange and upload were what I did, basically. "And after a long time, you decided to show up here instead of saying anything online—why is that?"

"I promised, didn't I? That I will come today."

It doesn't take long for me to realize the meaning of that. Not only those words, but the things beyond it—like why the name in my song description changed. But that doesn't even matter anymore. Just knowing that things had changed for better for him, and for me too…

I'm happy.

I'm really happy.

And I know the person standing in front of me is feeling the same way.

"Yeah, you did," I smile, probably the biggest smile I can ever make. "Thank you for fulfilling the promise, Len."

I feel my eyes became watery, and before I knew it one drop of tear falls down from my eye. I frantically try to rub it with my sleeve, because crying in public place (in Comiket to be more exact) looks just plain weird, then laugh slightly. "S-sorry, it's just… I'm really really happy. I, uh, really shouldn't be…"

"I can see that. You're laughing," he says, pulling my hands off to look at my face. Through my blurry vision, I can see him, smiling back in return.

"But really, I'm very happy, I just…" My words run off, becoming another laugh. I don't know, I'm really happy, I can't make this stop, I don't know how long this will last. But I'm really happy, I don't know how else I should express this overflowing happiness.

Still with watery eyes and unending laugh, I look at him again. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

A smirk appears on his face right away. "Probably yes."

I don't know if I can smile any wider, but I just feel that I do. "Are you feeling the same thing I'm feeling?"

He then breaks into a laugh. "I do."

It feels so fluffy inside. I think I might explode, but if I explode I wouldn't be feeling this sensation. A weird sensation, something my body feels unusual, maybe like a kind of disease. But it's not. I just know what this feeling is.

"I like you," I tell him.

He looks at me in the eyes, still not stopping his laugh, and says, "I like you, too," in return.

My feelings reaches.

The thing you told me before—before you revealed yourself in the real life, before we ended up attending the same school, before I even started making rearrangements of your songs—was true. And I'm glad that I believed in your words at that time.

One should be feeling really grateful with this. This feeling, this happiness, this moment; this in the entirety, because this is…

A Wonderful Life, After All.

*a fictional school I made. The name of their school is Yamabashioka High, by the way (also fictional).

**entrance exams in Japan are known being "hell" (the term is 'shiken jigoku' which means 'exam hell').

~~Just to let you know, Len is not in any way dying—I've promised that even from the very first chapter. His reasoning will be revealed soon or later (in the other story), but I assure you that they got their happy ending.

After almost 4 years, I managed to bring a closure to this story. You have no idea how happy I am that I managed to finish this despite the going-ons in my life (like, there was a time when I updated this weekly, and there was a time when I didn't update anything for 9 months)... To be honest, I started this because of my liking for the Vocaloid community: people 'meeting' online to work together on a song, and that's the main idea of this story. And I tried to make more fluffy romance with happy ending! (It branched to some other aspects, tho, but that's mainly told through the other story.) I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it! Thank you so much for all the support! I don't know if I could go this far without your support as motivation, so I'm very thankful of it!

I gotta bid my farewell to this story. Once again, thank you for all the supports: reviewing, favoriting, alets, and of course reading! Thank you so much! I really appreciate every single of it~ See you later in other stories!

P.S.: Len's POV is up and ongoing! It goes by the name Real Life RPG. If you want to know more about the character backgrounds (and the unexplained things), please check it out! It is considerably darker compared to this, though, so it's really up to you. It also serves as the general POV, because not even Rin tells you everything.

P.P.S.: The main characters' usernames are based on official stuffs, if not too obvious:
Kagami Sound is from "Kagamine", 'ne' means 'sound'.
Mirai is from the title "Project Mirai" and "Magical Mirai".
EV System is an abbreviation of "Electric Voice System", the text on Kagamine's boots.