Title: Long Sleeves

Full Summary: Ritsu had always worn something to cover his arms for the past ten years soon to be eleven. The people around him have grown to accept it until one day for no apparent reason he leaves work early. Will he end up telling the person he swore he never would.

Rating: Erm, placing at M for now because I'm paranoid and there are themes.

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Attempted suicide, self maiming, and the occasional mention of sex.

Author's Note: Wha~! Damn here I am writing yet another chapter story when I should be working on my other ones. Sadly my plot bunnies where being exceptionally pushy and at some ungodly hour I was writing the rough draft for this story. Sadly my other stories are giving me a case of writers block so if I can write something else I may be able to work on them. This is my first M fan fiction, ever! So give me your feedback! I honestly didn't expect the chapter to turn out like it did with the style but I kind of like it. The songs name is Adam's Song for those of you that don't know. Now to give the disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER I OWN ONLY THE PLOT THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR CREATOR. I MAKE NO MONEY FROM THIS! NOR DO I OWN THE SONG USED IN THIS FANFICTION. IT BELONGS TO BLINK 182.

¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾

I never thought I'd die alone

I laughed the loudest who'd have known?

I trace the cord back to the wall

No wonder it was never plugged in at all

I took my time, I hurried up

The choice was mine I didn't think enough

I'm too depressed to go on

You'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came

16 just held such better days

Days when I still felt alive

We couldn't wait to get outside

The world was wide, too late to try

The tour was over we'd survived

I couldn't wait till I got home

To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone

Another six months I'll be unknown

Give all my things to all my friends

You'll never step foot in my room again

You'll close it off, board it up

Remember the time that I spilled the cup

Of apple juice in the hall

Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came

16 just held such better days

Days when I still felt alive

We couldn't wait to get outside

The world was wide, too late to try

The tour was over we'd survived

I couldn't wait till I got home

To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came

But tomorrow holds such better days

Days when I can still feel alive

When I can't wait to get outside

The world is wide, the time goes by

The tour is over, I've survived

I can't wait till I get home

To pass the time in my room alone

¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾¾

Ritsu grumbled angrily. It wasn't that he hated his job but it wasn't his first choice in careers. It didn't help that his boss was an old flame from ten years ago, well it wasn't only a flame, the man was his first love. The relationship ended up falling apart. Now a decade later that particular part of his life had come back to bite him in the ass, hard.

He got dressed in the usual long sleeve shirt it only happened to be a light beige. Grabbing his bag and a nutrient supplement he headed out the door. As fate would have it the last person he wanted to see at the moment walked out of the apartment at the same exact time. Ritsu silently debated bolting back into his apartment before Takano could spot him. Too late.

"Good morning!" Takano greeted somewhat warmly.

"Mornin'." Ritsu grumbled.

Takano gave Ritsu a quick check over noticing the long sleeves. "Why the long sleeves?"

"I wanted to look a little professional." Ritsu lied easily.

"It's going to be hot out though. You'll overheat! Are you sick? Do you feel cold?" Takano asked rapidly. Concern lacing his voice.

Ritsu heard the concern but blocked it out like normal. But it still managed to cause him to blush. "I've always worn long sleeves or a jacket. Its comfortable.""I've noticed." Takano said walking into the elevator. Ritsu barely a step behind him.

Ritsu knew it was going to be hot. But it didn't matter to him, he would barely be outside anyhow. He felt what he was hiding was worth the mild discomfort of the heat instead of the pitying worried looks he would get if his co-workers saw the scars he hid. Besides he had to look strong he didn't want to be seen as weak. He already had been right up until he joined his father's company. Then it was a different fight.

There was one day each year where he would allow himself to wallow in the memory of what happened ten years ago and what nearly did happen. He had no idea why it just became some sort of twisted tradition.

Breaking the silence of the elevator that had settled over the two Ritsu spoke up. "What's today's date?"

Takano wasn't expecting the question and wasn't able to give an answer. "I'm not sure look it up at work."

Ritsu shrugged and the pair fell silent.

Suddenly Ritsu got a wave of flashbacks the he barely was able to push back in time. Almost at the same time his left hand clamped on to his right wrist. Takano saw the movement but didn't say anything. Ritsu seemed to be in a bad mood this morning and Takano really didn't feel like getting slapped.

Ritsu was glad that for once Takano didn't make a pass at him. Ritsu had a feeling of dread creeping up on him and he chose to ignore it hoping to get through the day without inbcident.

On the walk to the station, at the station, on the train, and the walk to their place of employment, Takano realized that Ritsu was constantly rubbing his wrist, he didn't seem to realize he was doing it and it was exactly distracting it was just odd.

Once they arrived at the forth floor Ristu and Takano went to their own desk and just as Ritsu was about to open his laptop when he caught sight of the day. It couldn't be.

That's why he had the sudden rush of memories. He wasn't used to repressing them on this day and subconsciously he knew that today was that day.

He tried and failed to push back the memories. He felt himself start to hyperventilate.

It was a warm and bright afternoon and the two teens where getting dressed after an intense session of lovemaking. Ritsu was caught up in the moment and he let his true emotions fly. He watched his Senpai carefully waiting for the reaction. There was few unmemorable words said and then that one damned sound.

'Heh.'

Ritsu recalled the feeling of his heart shattering and the pressure behind his eyes alerting him that he was going to cry. He held back the tears the best he could. It seemed his Senpai wasn't aware of what he caused.

He remembered feeling like lead as he slowly, so slowly finished making himself presentable. Smoothing his hair he remembered what it was like to make his way to the door and unlock it.

The voice he used to call out that final farewell, it sounded dead to him but to his Senpai it seemed like a farewell until later. The feeling of absolution as he waked out of the room. He knew that the moment he reached the front door everything between him and Saga-Senpai would be over. There was a strange feeling of absolution as he opened the front door and then there was nothing. Not even realizing that the sky had turned to rain. He never registered that it was raining. As if everything that was him was left behind to the boy who was probably nose deep into a book waiting until he was kicked out then once he had to leave he would head back to his house and wait for his "Boyfriend" to spend the night.

He remembered that once he reached the door he moved up to his room. A few hours ago he was the happiest boy alive now he was only a shell. He sat cross legged on his bed and stared at the blank wall in front of him. The wall had nothing on it. Just like he felt. He recalled knowing that he wasn't going to get any sleep.

The feeling of knowing that he couldn't go on was the one thought circling his mind. He carefully reached for the scissors on his bed side table. Not knowing his mother was coming towards his room to tell him dinner was ready.

The cold unforgiving steel of the scissors touched over the vein on his wrist. He slowly put pressure onto the blade feeling the biting of the steel and the slowly trickle of crimson flowing out of the cut. Then in one fluid monition he raked the blade across the vein, causing crimson to flow freer and faster. He laid down feeling the nothingness and peace.

He remembered when his mind went hazy and how he was forgetting things. He began to close his eyes.

He, didn't however remember his mother's terrified shrieks, and the screaming for her husband. Or his father running to get the first aid get to at least slow the bleeding down. His hearing was the first thing to go, he couldn't hear his mother calling the ambulance or her pleading to stay with her.

He remembered waking up in a hospital with faceless people coming and going. The countless questions that were asked by the doctors and his parents.

He remembered telling them it was an accident. That he had a loose string on his shirt and when he went to cut it he misjudged the placing of the blade.

He remember the relief he saw on the doctors and his parents faces when he said it was a really unlucky accident and that he didn't do it on purpose.

He asked his parents if he could leave and study abroad. He knew they would say yes. When he was discharged he remembered the numbness that he felt that he would never be happy again. He remembered the lies, and the promises.

Maybe worst of all, he still remembered Him.

How was it? When I was looking at this fandom fan fiction archive I was surprised to see that it had nothing like this. So I took the plot bunny attack and turned it into this it will be a short chapter maybe three to four? Anyhow I'm new to this fandom I've watched the anime and started the manga so forgive my mistakes if there are any of them that really are just bad. But please remember it's a Fanfiction. So reviews are welcome and right after I finish writing this author note I'm going to type up chapter 2. Ta Ta for now!~IF