The Incredible Plotless Fic-Part Trois : otherwise known as "why you should never let Heero do housework".

Once again we zoom in on the G-Boyz at the (rebuilt, refurnished) famous (cliché, unrealistic, oftentimes destroyed) Winner Mansion. After much ranting and raving about the damages done during the last fic, Quatre is now royally pissed off.

Quatre: Damn right! This is the second time I've had to completely rebuild the house. All because Duo… *pointed glare at the braided one*

Duo: *innocent look*

Quatre: And Heero…*pointed glare at spandex boy*

Heero: Hn…

Quatre: Can't quell their destructive tendencies.

Duo: But Q-man—

Quatre: Shut up! Do you KNOW how much these repairs are costing me? I had to let all the servants go because we didn't have enough money to pay them.

Duo: Aw gee, I'm sorry Q—

Quatre: Silence! I'm not finished. Because I have no more servants, you and Heero shall do all the chores until my financial standing is assured.

Wufei: And when will that be?

Quatre: Friday night, when Rashid gets home from bingo.

G-Boyz: O.o

Heero: I don't do chores.

Quatre: Oh yes you will! Or I'll call up Relena and tell her that you have fallen madly in love with her and want to marry her right now.

Heero: *pales* You wouldn't…

Quatre: Try me.

Trowa: My little one is all grown up and blackmailing Heero *sniff* I'm so proud.

Quatre: *smiles at Trowa*

Wufei: *gags*

Duo: But I don't know HOW to do chores, Q-man!

Quatre: Then you'll just have to learn, won't you?

Duo: *pouts*

So, Duo and Heero receive a list of different chores from Quatre and set out to do the housework, bitching and moaning all the while….

Matteo: Is there a point to this story?

Just wait for it. I'll make it interesting soon, I promise.

Matteo: Whatever. Just remember that we're on a budget.

Heero: *deathglare* Could we get on with this, please?

Right. Just for that, you get to wear a frilly pink apron.

Heero: *finds himself now wearing a frilly pink apron with the words "Molly Maid" on the front* Omeo o korosu!!

Yeah, yeah. It gets old.

Duo: Hey Cherry, can I have a frilly pink apron?

*sweatdrops* Uh…sure.

Duo: *kawaii grin* Thanks!

Quatre: Enough wasting time! Get to work! NOW! ::whip cracks::

Trowa: ::getting turned on by the whip:: Wow, Quatre. You're so dominant…

Quatre: Shut up and get in the bedroom!

Trowa: Yes Quatre.

Quatre: That's MASTER Quatre to you!

They disappear into the bedroom where "strange noises" are heard.

Wufei: Was that really necessary?

Yes.

Wufei: ::muttering:: Baka hentai onnas…

What was that?

Wufei: Er…nothing.

I thought so.

Matteo: ::sigh:: Can we get on with it?

Sorry. Well Duo and Heero discussed things and decided that Heero would be a lot better at doing manly outdoor chores like painting the house and such…

Duo: "Discussed?" He held a frikken gun to my head! You should be ashamed of yourself, Yuy.

Heero: Hn.

Er…so Heero went outside to reshingle the roof and Duo was sent downstairs to do the laundry.

On the roof…

Heero: Let's see here, I set the detonator for about three minutes and then jump down into the backyard out of the blast range—

Wufei: Yuy! What are you doing on the roof with those explosives? I thought you were supposed to be taking all the shingles off and replacing them with new ones!

Heero: It's quicker my way.

Wufei: …you're going to blast the old shingles off the roof.

Heero: Uh huh.

Wufei: …THAT'LL BLOW THE WHOLE ROOF OFF!!!

Heero: ::blank look:: …what's your point?

Wufei: O.o;;; Uh…I'm just going to…go to the store, yeah that's it, the store! You go ahead and do that and I'll just be…at the store. Far far away from here. ::dashes off::

Heero: Wonder what his problem is?

Back inside the house…

Duo: Okay, all I have to do is put these clothes in the washer and dump some soap in and turn it on. Now…what do I put in first? ::holds up Wufei's white pants:: I'll just put these in and Trowa's turtleneck and Heero's spandex shorts and some of Quatre's shirts annnnnnd my lucky hat! There, that ought to do for the first load. ::jams all of the clothes into the washer and pours out capful after capful of liquid soap into the machine before slamming the lid down:: There! That wasn't so hard. I can do this housework thing no problem! Now…time for a snack.

Back on the roof…

Heero: ::hanging out of a tree trying to connect a detonator wire to the raingutter:: Almost…got it…just…a bit more…

*SNAP*

Heero: Uh oh…

*THUNK*

Heero: ::groan:: …maybe I should stick to piloting mobile suits.

Back in the house…

Matteo: All this scene switching is making my head hurt.

Ah, quit your complaining!

Matteo: : P

Duo: Can we get back to MY story now?

YOU'RE story?

Matteo: ::shakes head::

Fine! In the kitchen, Duo was creating his own kind of mayhem.

Duo: Now, what goes with a peanutbutter and tunafish sandwich….I KNOW! JELLY BEANS!!!

(author looks faintly ill) Back to Trowa and Quatre…

Trowa: Oh yeah! Give it to me! Harder!

Quatre: ::whipcracks:: Didn't I tell you not to speak until I told you to?

(author now looking decidedly ill) On second thought, let's NOT go back to Quatre and Trowa. Let's go to Wufei at the store.

Wufei: ::in the toy aisle:: Hmm…where could it be?

Store Clerk: Can I help you, sir? Are you looking for something in particular?

Wufei: Yes, where are the Sailor Moon action figure?

Store Clerk: I'm sorry but we sold out of Sailor Moon action figures this morning.

Wufei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THE INJUSTICE!

Store Clerk: Uh…sorry?

Forget it. Let's just go back to Duo.

Duo: The clothes should be finished washing by now. I'll just take 'em out and shove them in the dryer. ::starts to take out the clothes and…well…shove them in the dryer!::

Matteo: This is boring. Can't we just speed it up a little?

Fine! It's now an hour and a half later and the clothes are finished drying. Duo takes them out and dumps them in a laundry basket.

Duo: Q-maaaaaaaan! I've finished the laundry!! Can I go to the video arcade now?

Quatre: ::looking kind of tired:: You have to fold the clothes first.

Trowa: ::looking extremely tired:: Then you can go out and play.

Duo: Yay! ::starts to fold clothes::

Heero: ::comes in from outside::

Quatre: Heero! Have you finished you're chores yet?

Duo: I'm almost done mine. ^__^

Heero: Nearly. I wanted to get a drink first. It's hot outside.

Duo: Well as long as you're here you can take your clothes. ::hands him a bundle::

Heero: ……you shrunk my spandex.

Duo: ::not listening:: What'd you say Heero?

Heero: YOU SHRUNK MY SPANDEX!!! OMEO O KOROSU!!!! ::tries to choke Duo with his braid::

Duo: Eep! Heero! Leggo! I didn't mean to!

Heero: DIEEEEE!!!

Duo: ::running away:: Wufei…pant…won't be…pant…happy if you…pant…kill me…

Quatre: ::picking something up out of the basket:: No, he'll want to kill you himself. Look what you did to his pants! ::holds up Wufei's previously pristine white pants which are presently…pink::

Trowa: Don't you know that you're not supposed to put light colours in with dark colours?

Duo: No! I've never DONE laundry before! 'Fei's gonna kill me! ::starts to wail:: I can't do anything right! And now you're shirts are all pink Q-man!

Quatre: Silly. My shirts were already pink. Don't cry Duo. ::tries to comfort him:: I'm sure Wufei will understand.

Heero: ::snorts:: Sure he will. Right after he shoots you.

Duo: ::wails louder::

Quatre: ::glares at Heero:: You're not helping.

Heero: ::shrugs::

All of a sudden, Wufei comes through the door, carrying what looks suspiciously like a Sailor Moon action figure doll.

Wufei: What's all this noise? Maxwell, I could hear you blubbering all the way down the street. What going on?

Duo: ::sniffles miserably and holds out the pink pants:: I'm ::sniff:: sorry ::sniff:: 'Fei-chan ::sob!:: I didn't mean to.

Wufei: ::stares at pants in silence::

Duo: ::bottom lip trembles::

Wufei: …this is what you were crying about?

Duo: ::nods sadly::

Wufei: You baka!

Duo: ::cringes:: I'm sorry—

Wufei: Did you think I would be mad at you? For a stupid reason like this?

Duo: You…you mean you're not mad?

Wufei: No.

Duo: Yay! ::glomps him:: You're the best 'Fei!

Wufei: I bought you something.

Duo: Really? What is it?

Wufei: ::hands over the action figure::

Duo: WOW!!! Thank you 'Fei! ^___^ ::glomps him again:: 'Love you! ::kisses him::

So everybody was happy and they all went to bed…no, not like that you hentais.

Matteo: Was there actually a plot to this fic?

Nope.

Matteo: That's pointless.

Yep.

Quatre: Well at least my house didn't get wrecked in this episode—