Sephiroth's Comeback

AN: So, guess what you guys? LilVirga (From Let's Make a Movie, Let's go to the Beach, etc.) and Funblocker62 (From How to Win a Girl's Heart) have joined up along with a third bestfriend, FunnyKid264 to create the best Final Fantasy XIII/XIII-2 humor fanfics you ever read.(Or try to at least) So as our comeback we put our heads together to write a fanfic that will bring us back into the swing of humor and thought of this little charm. (Virga's idea)

Summary: After fifteen years of being refered to as Final Fantasy's best villain, Sephiroth begins to lose his touch, spending his days gorging himself with food and living with Kadaj and his gang. How will Sephiroth get back to the top? With Caius's help of course!

Sephiroth watched himself on the television as he pierced his Masamune in Aerith's chest. She sunk to her knees, her trademark pink ribbon coming undone and her white materia falling into the water in the Forgotten River. Cloud rushed over to Aerith's now lifeless body, and shook her slightly.

"This can't be real!" The Cloud on the television cried.

Sephiroth grunted to himself, shoving another one of Yazoo's cookies into his mouth. "For fifteen years I wanted to redo this ONE scene. With my experience I could make this scene as heart wretchingly sad for the people who loved Aerith and make the sick and twisted people cheer for her death. They did it for Zack in Crisis Core. Damn you, Square on teasing us with that Final Fantasy VII PS3 Demo. I wasn't even in that and I'm one of the main characters too!" His hand reached for another cookie only to graze around an empty plate filled with crumbs. "Yazoo!"

A younger man with long silver hair like Sephiroth scurried to his side wearing a pink frilly apron over his black leather coat, and holding a plate of freshly baked cookies. "Here you go Sephie. Chocolate chip. Your favorite."

Sephiroth glared at Yazoo while snatching the plate with slight possessivness. "Stop calling me Sephie! I am an evil villain, damn it! I demand a little more respect around here! Let me have my dignity."

"I'm the one wearing an apron and baking YOU cookies, 'oh so great villain'. Or at least you were."

Sephiroth stop midway to taking a bite of the cookie and glared at him. "That was low, Yazoo." He set the cookie back on the plate. "Look at me. I'm nothing. I used to be the top Final Fantasy villain. I had my own theme music that almost every FF7 nerd downloaded on Itunes and play it just to get their blood pumping. It's sung in latin! But now that damn Caius."

Sephiroth stood up in a dramatic fashion ready to go on a long villain monolgue. He stared out the window of his apartment (which is in the Lifestream by the way) and watched the glowing green streams float around outside. "What does he have that I don't? My sword is way bigger then his. His looks like Soul Edge. And my hair is much more voluminous and flowy then that Caius's filthy purple hair. What, is he gay? And his last name is "Ballad"? Ha! Is he a ballerina! I don't need a last name. I am THE Sephiroth. The One Winged Angel!"

"We're back!" Loz and Kadaj bursted into the apartment and sang in unison.

"Loz! Kadaj!" Sephiroth barked making the newcomers jump. "You just ruined my monolgue. You never ruin a villain's monolgue! Especially if they are the Greatest villain in all of Final Fantasy!"

"Well you were," Loz stupidly stated, "until Caius took your place. Have you seen his outfit? It's better then your desi-AH!" He screamed like a girl with Sephiroth pointed his Masamune from the other side of the room at his throat. (Becasue it was a pretty long sword)

"No one is allowed to mention his name ever in this house, again!"

"Yeah, because he's so lame." Kadaj sucked up to Sephiroth. "Like he has no cool accomplices like you do. Like he has that little blue haired girl who has random visions and dies all over the place. What's her name Yeul? Sounds like a goat. Pfft. Lame."

"Yeah, but," Loz continued to stupidly talk about how great Caius is. "But he actually won. Have you seen the ending of Final Fantasy XIII-2. Hello! He was sitting on Etro's Throne like a Boss even though he died."

Kadaj and Yazoo looked at Sephiroth expectantly waiting for him to slit Loz's throat, or sprout his one wing, or go Super Saiyan-

...Oh wait, wrong fandom...

But instead Sephiroth sighed, dropped his sword and sat back on the couch and turned the channel to watch television.

"Nice Loz, you pissed him off." Kadaj lectured. "Now he's going to be like for the rest of the night."

"We have to figure out a way to get Sephiroth to be the best villain again. He has nothing else except that title." Yazoo said.

"He has us!" Loz offered.

"We gotta think of soemthing fast." Yazoo said after a moment of silence.

"I got it!" Kadaj said. "Let's start a zombie invasion."

"How are we going to do that?" Yazoo asked.

"We create this disease and inject everybody with it. Then they'll turn into zombies and take over the world." Kadaj said.

"And then?" Yazoo questioned further. "How are we going to create this...disease."

"I...I don't... it can't be that hard can it?"

"We can steal candy from kids in the park." Loz offered.

"We did that last week." Kadaj said.

"How about hi-jacking?"

"Yesterday."

"Killing stupid people in alleyways?"

"This morning."

"How come I'm never there when you do the fun stuff." Yazoo pouted.

"Because your too busy playing Mrs. Sephiroth." Loz teased making kissy faces at him and tugging on Yazoo's apron. "Nice apron by the way."

Yazoo's face flushed and he ripped the apron off him, throwing it in Loz's face.

"And no offense..." Kadaj began, and internally flinched when Yazoo directed his glare at him, "but you get kinda...crazy."

"I'm an antagonist, I have to be crazy." Yazoo complained.

"Yeah, but your...freaky. Like...almost as freaky as...as..."

"Lady Gaga!" Loz staged whispered into Yazoo's face, making his brother shove him back.

"I am nothing like Lady Gaga!" Yazoo whined, flipping his long silky hair over his shoulder. "I dressed like her for Halloween once!"

It was then a portal opened up behind the bickering brothers and...the last man they expected appeared. Loz saw him first.

"Ah!" he screamed like a girl for the second time that day.

"Yeah, that's how it sounded." Kadaj said, discussing with Yazoo about how he laughed in Rude's face during the fight at Edge.

"No, it's it's-" The other brothers turned around and gasped at the sight of Caius Ballad himself, and tagging behind him, Yeul.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Yazoo demanded, protecting his...master?

"I am here to see Sephiroth." Caius answered.

"Well, the boss doesn't want to see you right now." Kadaj said with nose in the air.

"Mostly because he's in his underwear watching anime and gorging himself with chocolate chip cookies." The brothers looked at Loz with narrowed eyes. "What?"

"Who's at the door?" Sephiroth asked, almost looking sick with all the cookies he ate. His hair even lost it's shine. His eyes widened at Caius's figure.

The bronze skinned man walked past Kadaj and his gang. "Sephiroth, I presume."

"What's it to you, Ballad?" Sephiroth asked with scorn.

"May I come in? At least for my friend here, she's been walking all day and might be thirsty." Caius spoke with manners. Sephiroth looked behind Caius at the young thirteen year old who just stared on with a sort of zombefied look. When she caught sight of Sephiroth she smiled.

"Fine. Yazoo! Could you gives us another batch and some milk for our guests."

There's Sephiroth!

Yazoo smiled genuinley, snatching the apron from Loz and headed back to the kitchen where he's been familiar with.

"So, what brings you here?" Sephiroth asked as he guided Caius to into his apartment.

"I have a proposition for you." Caius said.

AN: So what do you guys think. Like it? Hate it? Not sure? Want the next chapter? What do you want!?

Please leave a review (No trolls, because we'll just troll you right back) And let us know of grammar mistakes because LilVirga likes fixing up on the grammar. Let us know what you like to see so we can get ideas. We will credit you if an idea is used. And we hope you follow the story. We do have things planned (it won't be a very long story) but we do like to know what we can do to make this more enjoyable for you.

And since Crossovers aren't too popular, let people know about this story. Particularly if their Sephiroth fans, Caius fans, Lightning fans, Cloud fans, just Final Fantasy VII/XIII/XIII-2 fans in general who are looking for a good humor fic. Or if you know any who liked LilVirga and FunBlocker62's stories previously.