Robins POV

"Im sorry" I kept a straight face, a blank expression. Not even my eyes betrayed what I was feeling. But, inside. I was broken, shattered.

I knew I couldn't keep her. Not anymore. There was that one time when I thought I would be able to protect her, to keep her a safe distance from who I was . But everything kept getting in the way, she kept getting hurt. Her life was constantly centered on that thin line between life and death. I soon realized I couldn't risk her like that anymore. I was selfish at first, not wanting to let go. And because of my selfishness, she almost lost her life. I would never risk her like that again.

From what you could see of me, I would guess you probably thought of me as cold, heartless, almost robotic. Of course, I was a professional liar. I had to be a good liar, especially at this line of work. I could stab myself and still be able to hold a cheery smile on my face. I could be dying inside and you would never even notice. That was how I was feeling right now.

"You promised" she bit down on her lip. I knew she was trying to hold it in. She didn't want to cry in front of me.

"I lied" I smirked at her, my heart started breaking.

"This is the only way to convince you" I thought sadly.

I had to lie through my teeth while I was slowly breaking down inside. I thought that if I convinced her I didn't want her anymore, it would be easier for her to move on and forget about me. An easier, new beginning.

"A clean slate" I thought.

"Your lying, you don't mean that." she protested. The corners of her eyes were now building up tears.

She stared at me, I returned the gaze coldly.

My teeth clenched. " I don't love you..." I said sternly. Each word was separate and distinct.

That was my breaking point. I was now officially broken. My heart shattered.

"I…." she trailed off.

"I don't want you" I said coldly, interrupting her.

"Please…" her voice was now…pleading. She was begging for me to stay, it only made it harder to deny her.

Something inside me screamed that I should just take her in my arms and beg for her forgiveness, tell her that it was all a lie. And that my love for her would be undying.

Unfortunately it didn't overshadow the want, the need, to protect her. Nothing was more important than her life. Not even my happiness, not even my own. She was more important than anything.

"Promise me something?" my voice was softer now, almost gentle.

She didn't answer as she just continued to stare at me. I looked into her eyes and felt myself get stabbed over and over again. But I welcomed the pain this gave me, I deserved it.

"Take care of yourself" the softness in my voice was almost gone now, replaced with a harsh, cold tone. Demanding.

"Good bye Zatanna" I started to back away, my eyes not leaving hers.

"Wait!" she chocked, hands reaching out to me.

I involuntarily reached out to her as well, but I caught myself before she could notice. I took her wrists, pinning them to her sides.

I kissed her forehead for the briefest moment, closing my eyes as I did so. I breathed against her skin, trying to memorize her scent. This last moment with her, meant more than anything.

" Since you made me a promise…I'll make you one as well." I breathed.

I looked into her eyes, my expression serious, cold, hiding the fact that I was now completely hollow inside. Her eyes were tortured as she looked at me.

"I promise that I'll stay out of your life as much as possible, you will forget about me completely" my voice softened towards the end.

"It will be as if I never existed." I whispered.

Her eyes closed, but that didn't stop the flow of tears coming from her eyes. "I love you"

My eyes widened for a moment and my breath hitched in my throat, but in a second that was all gone. I resumed my cold, calm façade soon enough.

"Good bye" I backed away. "I love you Zee" those last three words were but a whisper, I was sure she didn't hear me say them.

And that was it. I was gone. I stow away into the darkness of the night, hiding my anguished, desolate screams inside my head.

Zatannas POV

December 13, Tuesday, 2011, 20:18 pm

I wrung my hands together, bringing them close to the open fire. I welcomed the heat, I felt almost cold all the time. Utterly lifeless.

It had now been six months since Robins supposed disappearance. No calls, letters, videos, no contact. Only Batman knew of his whereabouts, and yet he wouldn't tell us.

"It will be as if I never existed" his promise echoed in my head. I bit my lip, trying to prevent myself from crying.

He did keep that one half of his promise.

All of our letters, pictures, gifts. Anything that even concerned him was completely and utterly gone. The albums and frames that had been previously holding his pictures were now bare. All information about him on the internet was erased.

He was gone.

But the other half of his vow was still in motion. I still couldn't forget about him, I thought about him constantly. My friends tried to cheer me up, but nothing ever worked, and soon enough they just stopped trying.

He took everything with him when he left.

Love, life, meaning…..over.

I still tried to act normal, I tried to get better. And yet, even with all my efforts, I knew I was just going through the motions, the everyday things. It was just almost robotic.

"Zatanna?"

My head shot up to see M'gann come in, a worried but friendly expression on her face. I tried to give her a smile. She and Artemis were part of the very few people who never stopped trying to cheer me up.

"Yeah?" I asked simply.

I was never a person to start the conversation now, my dialogue just consisted of silent nods or one worded answers.

"We have a mission, you wanna come?"

Violence? Pain? A chance to forget the emotional pain I was feeling and have the chance to get stabbed and bleed. Sure. It was better than nothing.

"Alright"

If only I knew that one word almost got me killed, but in the end, it would give me back what I held most dear.

Robins POV

I leaped off the side of the building, landing perfectly on my own two feet on the solid cement. I checked my wrist computer.

I was now currently in Gotham, it had been three weeks since I had come near this place. I tried to stay away from her as much as life could allow me. But I was still Robin, I still had a responsibility.

I had now quite attending school, I was currently two years ahead of my original grade level so it didn't really matter if I took some downtime. I wasn't part of the team now either. I was on my own, I was just helping from the shadows.

From time to time I would come back to the mansion and have Bruce and Alfred welcome me back with open arms. But we all knew I couldn't stay there for long. Usually I would just spend one night, the next morning you would find me gone. As if I hadn't been there in the first place.

I was now currently traveling the country, searching for any signs of trouble. I wouldn't stay in one place for too long before I would start traveling again. Nothing held me down anymore. Whenever I halted a crime or stopped a villain, I made sure none of them knew it was Robin that had saved the day. I tried to stay out of the news as much as possible as well, for fear she would see me.

I was a shadow of the darkness of night. I was practically not even there anymore.

This was my distraction. It was the only thing I was living for now. I gave my life to being Robin. Nothing else currently mattered.

"Your lying to yourself" I thought.

I was lying to myself. She mattered more than anything in the world to me. But I couldn't have her.

"Does it matter?" I growled in my head.

I was now currently at war with myself.

"You still love her" that voice inside my head answered back.

"So?" I grimaced. "I cant have her"

The voice inside my head didn't answer, it was now mute. Because I knew it was true.

An memory of Zatanna resurfaced inside my head.

"So?...good kidnapping?" I smiled

She turned to me, smiling. "Actually, yeah..best ever."

I smirked slyly "First of many I hope?"

She turned away, but I could tell she was frowning. "If my dad doesnt ground me for life"

I chuckled at the memory, but it was a fleeting moment.

I realized everything felt like fleeting moments these days. I had been living my life in a haze, a blur.

"Im trying to be all nonchalant here…" I shrugged.

She turned to me, smirking. "Why?" she smiled. "Be as chalant as you'd like"

I remember I kept grinning like an idiot for the rest of that day.

I clutched my head in my hands, grimacing

"Stop it!" I growled inside my head "Stop thinking about her!" I groaned.

I sighed. "Why cant I forget about you Zee?"

I imagined she was answering me back.

"Because you still love me…." Her image answered.

I clutched my heart, having half the mind to rip it out and end the suffering. The other half was tempted to shoot myself.

This was torture, having her so close, yet not being able to keep close to her. This was my own personal hell.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as my computer started beeping.

"A message?"

I opened up the holographic screen, pressing play on the sent video by an unknown source.

"Hello there Boy Wonder…or should I say? Boy Blunder?"

"Joker" I hissed.

"Did you miss me?" he cackled, throwing his head back and laughing like an escaped asylum patient, his green hair sticking out at different angles.

"I just so happen to know your in town today, and well, I thought" he shrugged. "Just for old times sake, why don't I call up my buddy Robin and try to murder him again?" he laughed again, his smile made me sick.

I grimaced.

"You've been missing out on all the action lately Bird Boy" He smirked evilly at the camera.

"Oh, I almost forgot" he snapped his fingers like he just realized something important.

"Someone here wants to have a couple words with you"

The camera panned up towards the ceiling across the room. My eyes widened.

"Zatanna!"

She was gagged, her hands tied above her head as an invisible force tied her to her spot. Her eyes were wide with fear as she looked up at the camera. Her gaze fleeted upwards for a moment, indicating something was above her. The camera panned up to reveal several bombs hanging above her head, one dropped onto the floor on purpose and a noxious gas was released. Her eyes went wide with fear as the cloth around her mouth muffled the scream. Tears were now streaming down her face.

"Fear gas" I hissed.

The camera now revealed Jokers sadistic, self satisfying grin.

"An advanced version of my original Fear Toxin"

He held up a clock, smirking at me.

"Tick Tock, Tick Tock" he teased. "You don't have much time before the poison enters her nervous systems, ever so slowly crushing down her body until she's nothing but an empty husk of a lifeless shell."

My fist clenched. "Im going to kill you" I growled.

"I think we can quicken the process though, am I right?" He took slow, easy steps towards Zatanna. He took a knife and slowly cut a small line on her neck. Her eyes widened as blood slowly trickled down her neck.

"No!"

He held up the clock again. "Better hurry up bird boy"

The camera shattered and the video turned into static.

My fist clenched and I slammed it against a nearby surface, forming a large hole on the brick wall.

"This was what I wanted to keep you away from" I whispered. "Im so sorry"

I stood up straight, grimacing. "I'll save you...even if I die in the process"

I stow away into the night, using the shadows as my cover.