What would you do…

What would you do, if you were told that your entire existence up until this point was about to be erased from your memory?

That all your personal accomplishments, precious moments with friends and family,

love, hate, sorrow, death, sins and nightmares would no longer be apart of you.

That a new identity, a new past, a new set of memories

-FALSE Memories-

would be implanted in place of the missing ones?

What if you weren't given a choice?

This was going to be done to you,

and there was nothing you could do about it?

What if you like who you are-

The good and the bad?

What then?

::Remember Me::

By

Weissangel24

05/31/09

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, or any of its characters. I'm receiving no monetary compensation for writing this. I do this merely for stress relief and perverse fun.

This fic is inspired by a 3-part Doujinshi called: "Remember" by Sakura Date.

(Which I obviously don't own either)

Warnings: LOTS of ANGST! Violence, Romance, Possible Citrus um… I don't really know where this is going at the moment, so let's just give it a M rating just to be safe ^_~

A/N: I started writing this Feb. of '08, but put it on hold because I was trying to finish COOP first. That didn't quite work, so here is the new fic. I honestly can't guarantee the rate of updates (I've got work, college and my family), but I can guarantee the more reviews I get the faster I'll be encouraged to write more.

As always, comments and criticisms are welcomed, just be nice about them.

Flames will be used to toast marshmallows.

And as always, I am the self-nominated Queen of Sap.

Enjoy

Weissangel24

::Remember Me::

Prologue

::Remember Me::

/"The final sentencing of the notorious Gundam Pilots was scheduled to take place this afternoon behind closed doors." A woman reported in front of the court house, "These Pilots, rumored to be mere teenagers, are facing charges of Terrorism with deadly force, mass murder, crimes against humanity, impersonating law officials as well as military personal, and driving without a valid license. A great controversy has arisen about what should happen to these young men. Many demand justice for the dead while others declare them heroes and feel they should be honored for their heroic sacrifices. The Pilots are currently being held under house arrest in one of the many Winner Estates, here on L1. In related news, Millardo Peacecraft, aka Zechs Marquis, will be tried by a military court next week…"/

"Turn it off, Q." Duo glared at the offending machine as he agitatedly messed with the end of his braid. The pilots had already been informed of the court's decision, and now were waiting to surrender for sentencing. "I don't want to hear about it any more than I gotta."

The blonde nodded as he pressed the buttons on the remote, effectively silencing the screen. "This is so wrong." The empath whispered, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his face in his arms. "So very wrong…"

"It'll be over soon." Trowa pointed out. "And then we'll never have to think about it again."

"You say that as if it doesn't bother you." Quatre whispered, his eyes filled with anguish.

"I figure I can't be bothered by what I don't remember."

The blonde's lower lip trembled, "A-Aren't there any memories that you treasure?"

The banged teen shrugged nonchalantly. "I've lived without memories before. At least this time, they'll give me something to fill the empty hole."

"I-I don't believe you… You're willing to lose yourself? You're willing to cease being who you are!?" The empath shook his head, his hand clenched over his heart. "YOU of all people should realize just how precious our memories are!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet. There were tears in his eyes as his body trembled with the force of his convictions, "Trowa! To give into what these sadistic bastards want is wrong! We're going to loose ourselves! DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!?"

"I have nothing to lose, Quatre." The banged boy replied, not looking at the increasingly upset teen. "My name is not my own. I have no childhood. I have no family. The memories of blood and death are something I certainly could live without."

"What about the other pilots? What about me?" Azure eyes whispered. "Are we not family?"

"I'm not going to argue over this." Trowa glared, "It's not like we have a choice. They'll force us to comply. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of fighting. If this is what ends it, then so be it."

Quatre shook his head, as his tears fell. With a shuddering breath, the smaller teen fled the room.

"That was harsh, man." Duo scolded. "You know how sensitive he can be."

"It will hurt less, if he hates me." Trowa responded, wrapping his arms around himself as he stood and left the room.

"Hurt WHO less, Trowa? Q? Or yourself?" The braided boy sighed, as he twisted his braid.

::Remember Me::

"They can't do this to us!" Quatre screamed, throwing a vase against the wall; not finding any satisfaction from it shattering, he started throwing whatever he could get his hands on. "Who gave them the authority to steal from us while raping our minds!? They're going to erase all my accomplishments! The lessons I painfully learned! Father and Iria's dying words! The memories I had growing up! My mother's violin! Rashid, Auda, Abdul! Hiiro- Fei- Trowa- Sandrock- YOU!"

The braided boy sighed as he watched the thin boy fall to his knees as he cried so hard that he couldn't breathe; he clutched a picture frame tightly to his chest. Closing the door behind him, Duo knelt by the other pilot and pulled him into a tight hug.

"It's not just what I'll forget, Duo!" The smaller teen wept in the comfort of his best friend's embrace. "It's who I'll become… I-I overheard my sisters! They want to make me completely dedicated to the company, obedient and controllable! They're going to make sure that I'm programmed STRAIGHT! Th-they want to make sure that I'll s-sire a-an heir! Th-they've already picked out my wife! The WEDDING is scheduled for NEXT WEEK! THEY'RE NOT JUST GIVING ME A NEW SET OF MEMORIES! THEY'RE CHANGING WHO I AM! I'll never see Trowa again- And if by some chance our paths cross-I won't know him! I won't love him! I've already lost him once! I can't stand the thought of losing him again! Allah, Allah, Allah! I'd rather die!"

"They have a wife picked out!?" The violet-eyed boy gasped astonished, "Who do they think you are!?"

"DUO! That's the point!" Quatre wailed, "They're making me into who THEY want! I WON'T BE ME ANYMORE!"

Violet eyes watched his miserable friend for a moment, "Ya know…" He swallowed. "You are a strategist…"

Splotchy-reddened blue orbs lifted to meet his brother's gaze.

Duo offered a half-hearted smirk. "Surely you could come up with some kind of escape?"

"We always could come up with the best laid plans…" The empath replied cautiously.

"Not this time, Q-Tip." Zero-Two declined.

"Why!?" Quatre shook his head, "We always watch each other's back!"

Duo avoided his partner's disbelieving stare, "F-Father Maxwell, Sister Helen… Solo… I p-promised I'd never forget them or what happened to them… I promised vengeance- With Deathscythe, I accomplished that…"

"It's okay to forget them now?" The blonde's heart ached.

The braided teen's sadness was tangible, "No, of course not…" He glanced at the forgotten picture in Quatre's hands, the blonde's next victim in his tantrum, and reached out to trace the image of pilot Zero-One. His voice choked when he continued, "I-It's just… Hiiro will go along this no matter what because he can't say 'No' to a fucking order! I-I-I can't… live..."

"Without him." Quatre finished, understanding his friend completely.

"You don't need anyone to watch your back…" Duo flashed the smaller teen a smirk. "Besides… The government might give up a search if just one of us disappeared from radar… but if two of us went missing?"

"We'd be hunted for the rest of our lives." Quatre realized.

"I'll help you get out." Duo promised, "But after that, you're on your own. Change your name, change your appearance and disappear… Don't forget us or what we accomplished."

"I won't, Duo. I swear it." Zero-Four vowed taking the braided boy's hand in his own, "Thank you for understanding."

"Understanding goes both ways, Cat… Now let's see what we can come up with, huh?"

::Remember Me::

Wu Fei frowned as he stared out the window; his thoughts milling around his head. He had heard what Winner and Maxwell were planning, and while he'd never squeal on his comrades, he couldn't help but think what a fool's errand it was.

His own heart burned with his reluctance to follow the court's ruling. He was the last member of his clan. If he didn't remember their names and faces, then L5- His home- would be reduced to a tragic event during the war and its victims would just become a statistic, another number.

He turned from the window as tears brimmed behind his eyelids.

If he didn't feel like it would shame his ancestors, he would ask Quatre if he could join his escape attempt- no matter how doomed to failure it was. At least he could have tried.

A subtle knock on his door pulled him from his thoughts. Squaring his shoulders and wiping away the watery evidence of his weakness, Wu Fei opened the door. "Winner."

"You didn't come down for dinner…" Quatre stated quietly, his eyes scanning Zero-Five's face as if he were committing it to memory.

Chang's heart lurched as he realized that's exactly what the blonde was doing. "Come in for a moment." He said, opening the door wider to admit the smaller teen. He shut the door once the boy entered the room. "Quatre, I know what you and Duo have planned."

The blonde blanched as his pulse began to race. "F-Fei! I-I-I- I mean W-We…"

The Asian held up his hand, stalling the flustered teen. "I'm not going to stop you, nor am I going to rat you out… I just…" Here the proud warrior sighed. "I just wanted to ask a favor of you."

"Anything." Quatre whispered.

Wu Fei went to the candlelit shrine that commemorated those he lost and reverently bowed before it before opening the little doors in the back of it. Taking out a small item, he held it to his chest as he turned to face his friend. Silently, he took the boy's thin hand, marveling at the calluses on it, as he placed a key into it and wrapped the musician's fingers around it. "This key is to a safe-deposit box on earth." He sniffled as his emotions began to consume him, despite his best efforts. "Inside is the last census taken of L5… as well as photos of my family… and bank books that detail the wealth of the Chang Clan…"

Quatre numbly stared at his comrade, no his friend. "Fei…"

"It's yours… to start your new life with." Wu Fei reached out and wiped a tear that traced down the blonde's cheek. "Please, just make sure my people are not forgotten."

"You could remember them yourself!" Quatre exclaimed in a stage whisper.

"No." Zero-Five shook his head, "Maxwell was right. The government will never give up if more than one of us attempts to escape our fate… You have the most to lose and you have the strength to make it. You need this chance."

"Fei…"

"Go. You need to rest so you're ready when the time comes."

::Remember Me::

Hiiro flopped on his bed, rotating the discharged, blood-coated bullet between two fingers. The bullet held special meaning for him and had become a lucky charm of sorts. He had carried it on him for every single mission he completed since meeting Duo… it was from the wound in his thigh… The wound that Shinigami had given him while trying to save Relena the first time they met.

Too bad Zero-Two hadn't just let him shoot Relena. The girl had been a menace since then, and was the main reason their lives were topsy-turvy now. It was her brilliant idea to have their memories erased and reprogrammed in order to rehabilitate them into functioning citizens.

Hiiro glared at the bullet before rolling off his bed and going to the door. Opening it, he shouted for Zero-Four.

::Remember Me::

Quatre was carefully packing his backpack with items that would help him survive once he escaped. Civilian clothes, some cash, a baseball cap, a map of the area, three liters of water and enough MRE's to last a week if he ate sparingly, a med kit, several fake IDs and a pair of curved knives that Rashid had fashioned from spare Gundanium. His fingers traced the blades reverently; they were all he had left of Sandrock. He placed them to the side and carefully slipped a photograph of the five pilots sitting on Wing's foot in between the layers of his clothes for safe keeping.

The door opened silently admitting a stealthy shadow. "Here, Q." Duo breathed, handing the other boy some folded clothes. "The best sneak-clothes available." He pulled out another blade from behind his back and lay it on top of the threads, "You can never be too-well armed when you're alone on the streets." He reached into his braid and removed his lock pick set. "You'll never know when they might be needed… and after tomorrow… I won't remember how to use them." He sighed, shaking his head as he tried not to dwell on depressing thoughts. "Quatre, I want you to have this…" Duo reached back, removing a chain from around his neck and securing it around the blonde's. "It was a gift from Father Maxwell… the first gift I can ever remember receiving… Keep it safe for me?"

"Always." The empath swallowed, fingering the metallic chain and the gold cross that hung from it. "Gundanium?"

"The original gold chain I had, broke on a mission." Duo smirked ruefully. "Howard made the replacement chain from Deathscythe's spare parts."

"May I add something else to the chain?" Quatre wondered, fingering Wu Fei's key in his pocket.

"It's yours now." The braided boy shrugged, "Do what you want with it."

The blonde carefully undid the clasp and added the key. Replacing the chain around his neck, the empath wrapped his friend in a comforting hug. "It's not too late to come with me."

"Yeah, Q, it is."

They both jumped when Hiiro's voice bellowed through the hall.

"He knows!" Quatre gasped, his eyes wide.

"Shit." Duo swore.

::Remember Me::

Nervously, the blonde slipped from his room and approached the glaring Perfect Soldier. "Yes, Hiiro?"

"Inside. Now."

Swallowing, the boy bowed his head and complied. He jumped when the door latched behind him. "Hiiro! I-I-"

"I'm not going to stop you." Hiiro interrupted. "I just wish that… I had your courage."

"Hiiro…"

"Take this, please…" the Japanese teen requested, placing a small object in the other boy's hand. "It means a great deal to me… and Relena won't permit me to keep it after… I'll be married to her in no time, I'm sure."

"Doesn't that bother you?" The empath wondered, "Being manipulated by that girl?"

The stoic teen contemplated the question carefully before responding, "Quatre, you and Wu Fei are from established families while the rest of us have nothing but war, tragedy and our training to fall back on. If I don't go through with this… a lot of people could get hurt in my attempt to integrate as a normal person… something I've never been. Relena's idea would solve that problem, and provide me a stable home afterwards…"

"What about Duo?" The other teen couldn't help but ask.

Sadly, Hiiro motioned to the boy's hand and what he had placed in it.

Confused, Quatre looked at the small object, "A spent round?"

"My good-luck charm… Duo… uh… gave it to me?" He smirked. "I drilled a hole in it so you could put it on a chain or something." He watched as the other pilot pulled 02's chain from his neck and added the memento to the other keepsakes. "None of us like this conviction, Zero-Four. You're just the only one willing to do something about it. Do me a favor? Don't get caught."

::Remember Me::

Trowa couldn't face his blonde lover after the heartless things he had said; so, he hid in his rarely-used room until it was nearly time for bed-checks. He knew that if Quatre was planning on acting, it would be after the guards had made their rounds through the halls.

He clicked the recording device, allowing the image to shine against the far wall of his room. /"You and I shouldn't be fighting!"/ Quatre's voice shouted, full of life and conviction.

A tear fell from the banged teen's eye. His soul ached at the thought of being separated from the blonde angel that he had surrendered to. He was afraid that, like the last time he lost his memories, there wasn't going to be anything that could fill Quatre's place in his heart. He didn't think he was strong enough to survive that hollowness again.

He rewound the recording again and played it from the beginning. He had been recording a mission log when he and Zero-Four had first met; Trowa was eternally grateful for it as it had kept him company during many solo missions.

Emerald eyes hardened as he turned off the image, plunging his room into darkness. Resolutely, he opened his bedroom door. After making sure the blonde was still in Hiiro's room, the banged teen stole down the hall to his lover's room.

"Goodbye, Quatre." He whispered, slipping the small device into the boy's backpack and returning to his room, unnoticed, locking himself in. "I love you."

::Remember Me::

"Are you ready for this?" Duo whispered, watching the lithe blonde change into the skin-tight black pants.

Zero-Four nodded, fastening a sheath to each of his thighs and securing a third to the small of his back. He allowed his friend to examine the area where Dorothy skewered him with a rapier before pulling the equally form-fitting shirt over his head. Quatre reverently slipped the chain with his friends' mementos securely inside his shirt. Carefully, he inserted treated contact lenses that would allow him to see the invisible laser-grid that stood between him and freedom. He blinked several times, his blue eyes now seeming to be green. "I just wish I could have spoken to Trowa again."

"Don't get distracted. Your injury doesn't look bad, it shouldn't slow you down; however, if you're not careful, you could easily reopen it and infection will set in." Shinigami warned, helping to push all of Quatre's platinum blonde locks underneath the black cap and smearing coal dust on the boy's pale face. "Whatever you do, don't look back. I've got your back as long as I'm able to." He handed the shorter teen his bag, helping him adjust the weight evenly before securing it around his waist where it wouldn't aggravate the tender area on his abdomen. "Keep moving. No matter what, don't stay in a place longer than twenty-four hours. You have to change everything, Q. Your look, your speech, and the way you move. You have to blend in and avoid standing out. The only way for you to remain in tact is for you to disappear. And under no circumstances are you to look for us- Especially Trowa. If you happen to see us, turn and go the other way."

"I'm going to miss you, Duo." Quatre whispered, his eyes burning with unshed tears.

"Miss me after you're safe." The braided boy shook his head, handing the other pilot a pair of gloves, and pushing him towards the window. "Make it count, Kid."

Green and Violet eyes stared at one another for several moments before Quatre shook his head and threw his arms around his friend. "I swear, I'll never forget you, Duo." He whispered, before turning and disappearing out the window into the moonlit night.

"Wish I could say the same, buddy." Shinigami murmured sadly, before leaving for his own room.

::Remember Me::