The Pro-Joey Story: Chapter Two

By Lady of the Wolves

Author's Note: Come on, it has to be possible for me to write SOMETHING pro-Joey…so here I go again!

It was late when Joey Wheeler arrived home. He had spent the entire rainy Saturday in a virtual game world, trying to rescue his enemy, Seto Kaiba, with his friends Yugi, Mai, and Mokuba. He was tired and feeling sweaty and dirty from the rain and puddles he had splashed through while running home, so he decided to relax in a nice, soothing bubble bath. He drew himself a nice, hot bath and poured half a box of bubble mix into the tub before slowly easing himself into it with a contented sigh. He soaked comfortably for a few minutes before he discovered he was starving, as he hadn't eaten all day. Hopping out of the tub, Joey wrapped himself in a towel and rushed downstairs to gather what he would need to make himself a snack. He brought his supplies back into the bathroom, where he got back in the tub and proceeded to make himself toast. Electric current zapped out of the toaster through the water and into Joey at 500 volts, instantly electrocuting him.

What? That was awful! I don't even think Joey's THAT dumb…let me try again.

Second-place Duel Monsters Champion Joey Wheeler's biology class was on a field trip to the zoo. Joey walked around with his best friends Yugi, Tristan, and Tea, learning about animals and having a great time. Joey's favorite animals were the polar bears, especially the one he got to feed after being selected to go onstage during a live animal show the zoo presented. The four friends decided to check out the crocodile exhibit. Leaning over the edge of the wall that overlooked the habitat, Joey and his friends gasped when they saw a small child who had fallen into the exhibit, be sighted by one of the ten-foot crocodiles. The little boy let out a loud cry and ran as fast as he could away from the huge reptile, which instantly began to chase after him. Despite the terrible danger, Joey leapt into the exhibit, trying to save the young child by distracting the crocodile. His plan worked, and the crocodile immediately came after him, attacked him, chewed him up, and swallowed him before Joey could move.

I don't think crocodiles eat humans…do they? That was terrible, anyway, but don't worry, I have another great idea! Ready? Okay!

Joey Wheeler was invited to the circus by his friend Yugi Moto. The two had front-row seats, and Joey was lucky enough to be chosen as an audience member volunteer to be shot as a human cannonball out of a giant cannon into a huge, springy net. Joey was adorned with all the necessary safety gear, and was "loaded" into the cannon with help of the circus staff. Unfortunately, just as the cannon fired, the man in charge of aiming it sneezed and repositioned it upward, so Joey was shot through the roof of the tent. Sailing high through the air, he collided dead-on with a passenger jet.

That's not right, people can't be shot that high! These are ridiculous, maybe I need to get into something more down-to-earth…okay, I have an idea!

It was a normal, sunny day after school, and Joey was walking home. He was happy because it was a Friday and he had no homework. He planned to head over to his friend Yugi's home to play some Duel Monsters games after he dropped off his stuff at his house. As he skipped along, whistling a cheerful tune, a crack suddenly opened in the earth in his path and Joey feel deep into the chasm, screaming loudly.

….Yeah. Don't worry, this next one's much more realistic, I'm sure Joey will survive!

Joey Wheeler woke up with a start just as the clock chimed midnight. He got out of bed and hurried to his window. Far off in the distance, he could see flames. He quickly changed into his clothes and left his house, running to a nearby gas station to see what was going on. The gas station was swarming with police officers. "What's happening?" he asked a police officer, who was eating a donut.

"Nothing here to see, kid, go home!" the officer barked, picking up his walkee-talkee and shouting into it. Joey sighed and decided to go home, wishing he could help. As he trudged away from the gas station, however, he spotted a figure walking through the fog of the night. It looks like a girl, he thought, squinting in the darkness. As the figure approached, Joey could clearly see that it was Carietta White, a girl from his school. As she walked closer, seeming to be in a trance, the electrical wires above fell down on top of the gas station and it blew up everyone and everything within a thirty-foot radius.

Ignore that Carrie/Yu-Gi-Oh! crossover. Carrie doesn't go to Domino High…oh well. Has anyone seen that movie (Carrie)? It was okay, except the special effects were really lame…back to Joey.

Joey skipped through the field full of flowers in the bright sunshine, singing and laughing happily. Suddenly, the weather turned bad and a lightning bolt set the field on fire in an instant, burning everything to a crisp.

Just ignore that last one…I have an idea! I'll put some other characters in it…like Kaiba! Yeah, with Kaiba in it, it'll definitely be pro-Joey…right?

One day as Joey Wheeler walked home from school, a limo drove past. He was very bored, as he walked home alone, so he decided to throw a rock at the car. The rock smashed into the back window of the limo, which promptly stopped. Seto Kaiba got out of the long, sleek car and glared at Joey. "Get him!" he ordered to two of his bodyguards, who instantly went after Joey (who had tried to run away). Once at court, the judge decreed that Joey's life now belonged to Kaiba. Kaiba forced Joey to wear a dog suit for the rest of his days and to act like his loyal dog, obeying his every command.

What judge is that? Some kind of sadistic Judge Judy? Oh well…I can still not write anything where Joey looks good in it, so you'll still have to look elsewhere…unless you like to see Joey die, of course. Thank you and have a great day 0_o

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