Everybody has Secrets ~ SherlockMoriartyHouse500IQ

Summary: "Luffy... what?" Nami was so shocked she couldn't speak. Ever wondered what secrets the East Blue hides? This fanfic explores those dark secrets. Dark!fic. I don't own One Piece!

Format: Hm. No serious pairings, maybe some brotherly LuZo (NOT slash! I'll it again... NOT SLASH!) and also mild LuNa. Possibly subtle ZoNi, ZoRo, ZoRob, whatever a Zoro/Robin pairing is called. And... Sanji. Obvious SaNa, SaRo, Sanji/every-freaking-girl. Luffy!centric fic; this fanfic is made up a series of one-shots for each of Luffy's crew members. It'll go: Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Sanji, Usopp, Chopper, Robin, Franky and Brook. All the East Blue secrets are FAKE. None of the characters have anything to do with the secrets in the real manga! They're all just angsty, twisted plots from the dark realm that is my mind. Characters may be OOC, and this may contain spoilers.

Rating: This fanfic is rated T because of language, (explicit?) injuries, or just content that could be ideologically sensitive. If you know what I mean... There are no lemons or yaoi or yuri! (AND THERE NEVER WILL BE IN ANY OF MY FANFICS!)

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece! Oda Eiichiro (Eiichiro Oda?) does. I only own Captain Dosa Cerebrind, the Hermanos de Simpaticos and the plot of this fanfiction.

Last note: Any ideas? PM or review. R'n'R! Any and all flames will be used to set your computer on fire, so there. (I'll figure out a way to do that! Somehow!)

Waiting for reviews,

Svetlana Kovic x

Everybody has Secrets

LUFFY

"Luffy!" Nami was searching the ship for the Straw-Hat pirate captain. She looked into the cabin where he slept. After checking under the bed and everywhere else she went to search the store under deck. After several hours of searching there, Nami gave up and went to find Sanji in the hope that he could help.

"Nope. No food's been taken today, that means no Luffy." Sanji murmured while frying some tempura. Nami walked out of the cramped kitchen and bumped into Usopp, who was tinkering with something small and metal.

"Hey, Usopp. Have you seen Luffy?" Usopp glanced up and briefly shook his head. Nami sighed and resumed her search.

Luffy was breathing heavily, sweating profusely and bleeding from a gash on his arm. The large man stared at him - Captain Dosa Cerebrind.

"You see, Luffy, you cannot beat me. I ate the special fruit. The Sword Sword devil fruit that allows my hands to be swords! Today you will die!" Luffy stared defiantly at him, but after dodging so much he was too out of breath to say anything in retaliation. The sword hands smashed down again, crushing Luffy's left arm.

"Crap! You bastard! Gum gum... Pistol and GIANT HAMMER!" Luffy almost screamed as his legs stretched and twisted; as he grabbed Cerebrind his broken arm seared with pain. Cerebrind laughed mirthlessly. His hands crashed down, destroying everything.

"LUFFY!" Nami screamed as the crew scrambled off the ship to see Luffy standing still as the ground was reduced to rubble. Luffy smiled. Cerebrind roared in anger and pulled out a large gun. Dozens of sharp spikes, rather like Don Kreig's, shot out of the end and several pierced Luffy's neck, the rest piercing his limbs and abdomen. Luffy shouted one last desperate attack.

"Gum gum... PISTOL!" His hand smashed into Cerebrind's steel jaw, which disconnected and smashed into the sword-hand man's forehead. Cerebrind collapsed, and Usopp shot one last shot into his face ("Special attack... Tabasco star!") before running towards Luffy.

"You did it!" Nami ran over. Zoro and Usopp tied up Cerebrind while Nami tended to Luffy. Luffy was unconscious; the worst injury a gaping hole in his neck that was bleeding profusely. Nami staunched the steady flow of crimson liquid before shouting for Chopper.

"Shit! Chopper! Luffy's hurt, we need medical supplies NOW!" The little reindeer ran up, carrying a practically bursting bag of medical equipment. He immediately began tending to Luffy's wounds. Nami watched quietly.

"Is it bad?" Nami whispered. Chopper looked at her, a sad look in his eyes.

"I'm afraid it is. I don't know if he'll survive."

The next morning, Luffy woke up with a blinding headache. He opened his eyes, then squeezed them shut again. He moaned and rubbed his head. Zoro, who was beside the bed, looked up at Luffy. Luffy noticed that the whole crew was crowded around the bed Luffy was lying in.

(Author's Input: I'm not gonna say who's dialog is which in the next bit. Leave a review stating the order of crew members speaking!)

"Hey, dumbass, you finally awake? I've been waiting for you so I could tell you about the mapping and the treasure hoard!"

"Dude, bro! You're, like, awake!"

"You're awake! I thought you'd lost too much blood, like me! Wait, I don't have any blood! Hoo hoo hoo!"

"How are you feeling? Shall I give you some more doses of morphine or ibuprofen?"

"Luffy! You look scrawny but it took about sixteen of my Devil Fruit hands to lift and carry you to this infirmary!"

"How are ya, Luffy? I wanted to use my new machine to give you medicine, it's that awesome, but Chopper wouldn't let me!"

"Hey moss-head. I bet your rubber boyfriend is sad you didn't carry him bridal style to this place. You left it to sweet darling Robin!"

"He's not my boyfriend, curly brow! And I don't want to carry him bridal style, I'm sure you'd like to do that yourself to Nami and Robin!" Luffy hid his face with hands, then reemerged looking pale and sickly.

"Chopper..." Luffy gasped weakly, his face swiftly turning pale grey-green. Chopper thrust a basin under Luffy's mouth just in time. Luffy vomited again and again into the basin while the crew watched. Nami stared, horrified.

"Luffy... What?" Nami was so shocked she couldn't speak.

"Luffy! Your vomit is... It's red!" Usopp screamed. Chopper examined the vomit, and frowned before taking a sample and throwing the rest into the sea (A.N.: Ewww!) Luffy began retching dryly, only to began coughing; great hacking coughs that sounded wet and stained the white bedcovers more and more red with each heave. Chopper rushed in again, holding a damp cloth to Luffy's mouth.

Luffy eventually stopped coughing; he lay unconsciously back into the pillows while Chopper took his temperature. He looked at the thermometer then reeled in shock as he read the number.

"Oh my! His temperature is one-hundred and eight degrees Fahrenheit! Quick - fill a basin with tepid water!" The crew rushed to comply while Chopper grabbed cooling blankets and icy water. Luffy woke as they dripped water over him. He gasped and flailed, his cheeks burning red and his eyes bright with fever. Chopper lifted him with the help of Zoro, and they placed him in the basin. They watched as he coughed and spluttered with the blood hemorrhaging in his throat and lungs, before he slumped down. Chopper attached a heart monitor to his arm (A.N.: Where'd he get it I wonder? XD). Usopp turned the machine on and they all listened to the beeping.

'Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...' Suddenly the beeping stopped and gave way to a long, monotone note. Zoro and Usopp swiftly dragged Luffy out of the water while Robin conjured extra hands to dry Luffy with towels. Chopper ran to a cupboard and pulled out a defibrillator. He got a paddle in each hand and shouted,

"Clear!" He placed the paddles on Luffy's chest. Luffy jerked slightly with the first shock.

"Clear!" Luffy's eyes opened, then closed again.

"Clear!" Luffy breathed in like he'd been drowning. Chopper sighed in relief as he put the defibrillator away. Nami turned to the little reindeer.

"Why the FUCKING HELL did you not take him to hospital?!" Nami screamed, her orange hair tumbling out of it's knot. Chopper stepped backwards warily.

"Well, Miss Nami, we are moored near a hospital but it would have taken too long to get him there. It was quicker to help him here!" Nami glared at him ferociously.

"I don't care about your crappy excuses, you dumbass bastard reindeer! You should have thought about that!" She crossed her arms and stalked out of the room. Robin followed. Sanji followed too. Zoro stared after them, dumbfounded. Usopp, Franky and Brook looked on helplessly and Chopper helped Luffy sit up.

"Hey guys." Luffy rubbed his eyes and coughed several times before jumping up. He beamed widely at all the crew members.

"I'm all better!" Luffy announced. The crew's jaws dropped as Luffy danced around the cabin. Nami and Robin heard the commotion and came back. Robin was surprised like all the others, but Nami could see that the smile was forced; his eyes were dull with pain and he was wincing slightly with every step. Nami stayed quiet even so; he was her captain and she couldn't argue. But she knew she should - he was in pain, just acting like he wasn't so he wouldn't be a burden.

"Luffy. Stop pretendi-" Nami stopped when Sanji's scream was heard outside.

"Aaaaaagggghhhhh! Fuck-fuck-fuck aaaaaaagggghhhhh!"

Robin heard and rushed out. The crew listened to their conversation.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"Then why did you scream, cook?"

"I wanted you or Nami, or both, to come out here so I could get away from stupid old Luffy-" Sanji broke off as there was the echoing sound of a slap. Robin walked in, dragging Sanji by the collar. She started to say something, but her eyes widened in shock and she pointed at the floor beside the bed.

"Luffy!" The crew turned to see Luffy writhing and twitching on the floor. He was making small choking noises, his limbs jerking uncontrollably and his body convulsing. Nami started sobbing.

"Chopper!" The little reindeer was rushing over to Luffy. He lifted the rubber boy's head and looked inside his mouth. He looked up.

"Luffy... He's got epilepsy!"

Luffy rubbed his head. Nami leaned up to him.

"WHY THE FUCKING HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL US THAT YOU WERE FUCKING EPILEPTIC!?" Nami screamed. Luffy blinked several times before breathing deeply.

"I... I don't really know. Crap, I just... I just thought that I could keep it secret. I always have a bout of Sarcoidosis right before an epileptic phase." Nami nodded, then a thought struck her.

"What do you mean by phase?" Luffy looked at her.

"I'll have epileptic fits every hour for the next two weeks." Nami blinked back tears that threatened to spill.

"Every... Hour?" She wasn't sure if she'd heard right.

"Yeah."

"You'll have... Three-hundred and thirty-six fits!" Luffy blinked at her.

"Well... Yeah. And?"

"You'll never sleep!"

"It's always hell. It's not as bad as it used to be though - I used to constantly have Sarcoidosis, have fits constantly; usually every five minutes. Without a Sarcoidosis forewarning; I told you I always had it. Ace would look after me." Nami's shoulders shook slightly as she heard what Luffy had been through.

"So we'll have to look after you now Ace is gone." Zoro stood at the door. Luffy looked at him, and nodded.

"Zoro?" Luffy tentatively asked after an awkward silence.

"Yeah?" Zoro looked up.

"... Can you be in Ace's place? ... As my brother?" Zoro seemed taken aback by the question. Then he composed himself.

"Of course." Luffy smiled, and turned to Nami. Before he could speak, his eyes rolled upwards and he collapsed. He began seizing; Zoro ran forwards and supported his head. When the fit died down, Zoro comforted Luffy (NOT LUZO SLASH!) and laid him back in his bed. Nami watched the entire scene, and it made her almost cry. When Luffy clung to Zoro as he went to move, and Zoro turned back, smiling like a brother at Luffy, the first of Nami's tears spilled. She hurriedly wiped them away, and walked quickly out of the room, leaving Luffy and Zoro to wait for the next fit.

Two weeks on, Luffy only had fits every three hours. When he stopped fitting, he took his epilepsy medication and acted as if nothing had happened. Soon, his epilepsy phase was over.

"Sanjiiiii!" This was the common cry heard. Luffy hadn't eaten anything for the whole two weeks; he would have vomited it all up in his fits. Now he was starving, and Zoro, still posing as brother to Luffy, was forcing Sanji to cook for 'Shithead' Luffy. Everything was turning out alright, after everything they'd been through. They would recover. After all, everybody has secrets.

Liked it? Hated it? Not sure? Leave a review! Any requests for a secret and you can PM me. Just wait for the next chapter - Zoro!