Inspiration for human Marcy goes to DistanceToEarth from DA. Her art style is fucking badass and I don't even know her, but I think she's great anyway.

Something warm was on Marceline. Licks of heat covered her entire body and it was not a feeling she was familiar with. It was too gentle to be the blazing flames of the Fire Kingdom, too pleasant to be the angry breath of a dragon. No, this warmth was foreign, something lost in her vast collection of memories and experiences stored over a millennium. She was burning, yes, she could feel her skin breaking out into a sweat, but there was no pain.

Marceline dizzily eased herself up, leaning back on her hands for support as she squinted and scanned her surroundings. She was outside, lying near a large hedge. It was lined with thorny trunks and vines and had a gate nestled in its leaves that was chained shut.

Now she recalled what had happened. She'd busted into that place and stole a donut and the noodle-thin witch with the arched spine that lived there shouted some incantation and knocked her out. The lunatic must've messed her up pretty badly if the spell had actually managed to make the Vampire Queen lose consciousness. Marceline lifted her hands and studied her palms, only to find hands that weren't hers. She curled her fingers to confirm they were attached to her, and then she flipped them. Yes, she had control of them, they were hers, but something was wrong. They had changed colour. Instead of the bluish grey they'd been, they were now tan.

Sluggishly climbing to her feet, Marceline headed to a nearby stream, feeling weighed down by some sort of invisible force. It sat heavily on her shoulders and she couldn't even float. Marceline walked to the line of water and folded to her knees, planning to splash her face in an attempt to clear her head. But as she plunged her oddly coloured hands into the stream, she noticed something: She had a reflection. Her face was the same colour as her hands, and her eyes, once red, were now brown.

"What the plum did that-whoa." Marceline had to double check what she'd just seen in her reflection. She hooked a finger under her upper lip and lifted it, exposing her teeth. She had regular sized canines. No fangs, no forked tongue -she brushed her hair over her shoulder- no bite wounds on her neck, no pointed ears. It was obvious what all these features resembled and Marceline furiously slammed her fists into the water, the splash soaking her.

"That psycho turned me into a human!"

Marceline, still not used to her new body and the damn gravity, clumsily stood up and jogged back to the witch's garden. She tripped twice, before slowing to a brisk walk. She already hated not being able to fly.

Once she was in front of the gate, she latched onto it and rattled it to get the witch's attention.

"Hey, ugly! Turn me back!" she barked when the witch slithered up to her.

"No! You ate one of my babies! Now you must PAY!" the witch yelled, stroking a donut she'd been carrying lovingly, as if trying to sooth it now that it had lost one of its brothers.

"I swear, I'll eat you if you don't change me back," Marceline growled, willing her face to contort, to become monstrous, but nothing happened. Right. Human.

"Weak little humans can't hurt witches. Why do you think they're all dead? Humans are like dogs. They think they're so strong and smart, but they're actually pathetically weak and stupid."

"You're stupid."

"Leave! You will be cursed forever!" The witch waved her cane, probably preparing to cast another spell. Even so, Marceline wasn't deterred.

"Come on, it was just a donut! You can have it back tomorrow if it means that much to you! Sure, it won't look or taste as-"

"No! No! Do not speak of donuts that way! There is only one thing you can do to break the spell!"

"What?"

"A kiss from your true love."

"You old bat; I don't have a true love."

"Find one then, but good luck. No one can love a human," she cackled.

"Whatever, lady. You're nuts. I'll just get bitten by a vampire again," Marceline said, but the witch only shook her head and sneered.

"It won't work! There's only one way! Now get lost before I turn you into something worse than a human: a politician," she threatened, sweeping her hand out in front of her. The bushes near the gate came together, shutting Marceline out.

"Ugh!" Marceline punched the iron gates, but it just hurt her knuckles. She hadn't felt pain like that since she lost her umbrella on a sunny day. Wait… the sun. She looked up and realised she'd been in sunlight the whole time. That's what the strange sensation on her skin was. She'd never known what it was like to have the sun touch her without causing her harm. It was kind of nice, like a bath after a stressful day.

She backed away from the witch's garden, only to trip over her own hair. It was the longest it'd ever been and she'd meant to shorten it a few weeks back, but it never caused her any trouble, so she left it alone. But now, the length couldn't be altered by thought alone. She had no control over her shape or size. Everything was so… normal.

Marceline never knew how horrible it was to be human, how inconvenient. She'd never thought Finn had it this rough, but she supposed he'd never mention it if he did. He was stubborn and full of boyish pride.

With Finn now on her mind, Marceline thought it would be best to find out what it meant to be human from the only human she knew. Surely he had some advice to help make things a little easier for her. She felt like a newborn, so helpless and ignorant.

Too frazzled by her change, Marceline had failed to locate her axe bass once she'd woken up. It ended up being stuck in a tree, entangled in the high branches. She couldn't just fly up and pluck it out. She had to climb the whole thing using her own strength, which she was lacking in. She felt fat and frail. It sucked. So did the scratches the stray twigs were giving her. She no longer healed instantly and she was bleeding.

Panting, the woman finally reached her axe. She tore it from the broken branches, but too forcefully. When it was free, it weighed more than it used to, and Marceline fell backwards. She fell out of the tree, axe in hand, face first.

"That witch is so dead when I turn back," she grumbled into the earth, wincing as she stood up. Her clothes were torn and her hair was full of bark and leaves. She hadn't noticed how it managed to never knot or get objects stuck in it before.

With a heave and a grunt, Marceline lifted her axe and sliced it through her hair. Stray locks either rode the wind and disappeared, or pooled in the grass by Marceline's boots. Her hair barely reached her waist now. Much more manageable.

The vampire-turned-human made her way to Finn and Jake's tree house, limping.

It took her a good half hour to reach her destination and while it was amazing to be out in the sun, Marceline hated that she was breathless and covered in sweat and patches of dried blood. She'd never walked so far before, not in one thousand years.

She knocked on the door of the tree house and Finn answered.

"Hey, Marcy, wha- holy cow! What the heck happened to you?!"

"Let's just say I ate a bad donut," she said between pants. She rested her hand against the doorframe and used it to keep herself balanced. She felt like fainting again. "I need a favour."

"I…Uh… Sure. What is it?"

"Teach me how to be a human."

Once Marceline was bandaged up, Finn and Jake showered her with questions, which she was in no mood to answer. All she wanted to do was sleep and eat. She'd told them about the witch, and Jake took it personally and swore to help Marceline find true love no matter what. He was already on the phone calling various dudes to hook her up with.

Finn, on the other hand, was attempting to impart his knowledge of humans.

"So, uh, being human is easy once you get the hang of it. All you have to do is remember to go to bed early and eat six meals a day and use the bath-"

"I know that stuff, bozo. What I mean is, now that I'm not a vampire, I can't be the vampire queen, so I want to know what you do all day."

"Well, being a hero is a fulltime job. I guess, as a human, you have to be a hero, too," he reasoned.

"That sounds horrible!"

"It's totes rad, Marcy. You can come with me and fight villains while Jake sets you up with guys, no probs."

Marceline missed being a vampire with every story of heroism Finn told her. Saving people instead of killing them? Helping the downtrodden instead of treading on them some more? What kind of life was that? She supposed that she'd at least try it in between finding her true love and junk. Loving her family was one thing, but loving someone who wasn't related to her seemed farfetched. She'd never cared about anyone that didn't share her blood. Well, there was one person…

But they'd never love her.

She decided to stay at Finn and Jake's for the night and Jake cooked spaghetti. Eating was one good thing about being a human. The taste of solid food, food that wasn't red, was wonderful. The pasta was what Marceline enjoyed. She'd had her share of red meat and when she had seconds, she skipped the mince. She ate the noodles like she was starved, though that's only because she was pretending it was the witch's spine she was tearing apart.

Overall, it was a pleasant meal.

"Pop quiz!" Finn announced as he flipped over the back of the couch and landed next to a dishevelled Marceline, who didn't take her eyes off BMO. "First question: what do you do when you see an old lady struggling to carry some bags?"

"Sneak up behind her, scare her so she drops the bags, and then fly away laughing."

"Wrong. You carry the bags for her. Next question: when you see a lost kid, how do you help them?"

"Turn into a werewolf and try to eat them, only stopping once they pee themselves."

"No! Gross! You find their parents! Marcy, you suck gumballs at this hero stuff."

"I'm just kidding around, Finn. I rescue the damsels, take down the bad guys, help people mow the lawn," Marceline listed indifferently. She paused her game and sunk back into the cushions. "Boring jazz," she determined.

"It's not boring when you see how happy it makes them. You remember the most important rules, though, right?" Finn prodded, pulling the controller out of Marceline's wounded hands. She had scabs forming.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't kill anyone and don't punish someone if they did nothing wrong. You only told me a million times. Can I do this now, or what?"

"Sure thing. Jake, you ready?"

"You go on without me, bro. I'm still rounding up guys for Marceline. So far, they're all too afraid of her." Jake didn't blame them. He was still a little unsure of her, even without her powers.

Marceline started to chuckle. She knew finding love was important, but it tickled her funny bone so much when she found out how much people feared her. That terror fed her, made her feel alive.

"Keep trying," Finn called as he jumped up and raced for the front door. Marceline, eager to test the limitations of her handicapped body, following him. When Jake was cursed, he had trouble keeping up with the boy's energetic pace, but Marceline wasn't completely inactive before this. She may not have run much, but she wasn't unfit. Plus having long legs helped.

She kept up with Finn, axe bass strapped to her back, as they headed towards the Candy Kingdom.

When they entered the kingdom, Marceline wasn't assaulted by frightened glances or overwhelming smells. The sweet scent in the air was much more subtle and the Candy Folk only looked at her curiously, while nodding and waving at Finn. It seemed her reputation was non-existent. She had a clean slate, a new opportunity to build herself a different life. The question was: did she want another life? Did being human change who she was?

Shaking off the uncertainty, she followed Finn deeper into the Candy Kingdom, watching for anyone in distress. These damn people were made of food, how could they not be under constant attack?

Then Marceline's chance presented itself in the form of a scream. It came from the centre of town, where Princess Bubblegum's castle was. Finn and Marceline sprinted down the candy-coated roads and were welcomed with a snowstorm. They were buried in a sub zero blanket and Marceline was the first to dig herself out. She snatched at Finn's groping hand and lifted him from the confines of snow.

A familiar chortle accompanied the blizzard and Finn aggressively bellowed, "Ice King!"

He waded through the mountains of snow building up around the castle and flung himself inside, preparing to ascend the vast stretches of stairs. Marceline took another route to Bubblegum's room. She hoisted herself up onto a nearby wall and began scaling the towers by gripping scattered bricks that stuck out more than others did and jumping atop spires that were close to windowsills she could use to pull herself up.

She was making progress and the struggle was getting louder, but the human never made it to the princess' tower, for Bubblegum flew by her, plummeting down to the road covered in ice. Marceline yelped and let go of the bricks she had clung to and dove for the princess. She wrapped one arm around Bubblegum's waist and grabbed her axe with her free hand, then she thrust the blade into the castle's belly. A large crack formed and Marceline and Bubblegum stopped falling.

The princess had wound her arms tightly around Marceline's neck, her eyes clenched shut. She thought she was a goner after slipping on that sheet of ice, but luckily Finn was there to save her, like always.

"Oh, Finn," she breathed in relief. She pulled back, kissed the cheek of her hero, and opened her eyes. She was smiling enchantingly, but who she found staring back at her was definitely not Finn.

"Uh, hey, Bonni," Marceline said, unwilling to mention that her hand was really sweaty and causing her to lose her grip on her axe. She was too embarrassed. Bubblegum had just kissed her, mistaking her for someone else entirely. She'd never been in such an awkward position, quite literally. Her hand slipped more and Bubblegum leant back shyly. They were still a fair distance from the ground, so she couldn't let go and expect to be fine after such a drop.

"Um, Marceline. What a surprise… I didn't expect you to be…"

Bubblegum's words were cut off by a scream. Her own scream, because, as they smiled and muttered bashfully, Marceline reached the end of her axe's handle and now they both tumbled down to the ground, landing among a crowd of concerned onlookers. The princess landed on top, the impact softer for her, and her knee was lodged a little too far up between Marceline's legs and as she was about to apologise, Marceline switched places with her.

Startled, mouth agape, eyes wide, Bubblegum watched as Marceline's axe fell from the crack in the castle wall and came crashing down, thankfully sideways, onto Marceline's back. The human released a small cry, but wasn't spared much time to collect her senses as bricks followed after her axe and rained over her.

Soon, the debris stopped falling and clouds of dust remained. Candy People coughed, waving away the haze to see whether their ruler was okay.

When the air cleared, Marceline was still curled around Bubblegum. Everyone watched anxiously, with bated breath, as Marceline rocked back onto her haunches, dirty, injured, but with a safe princess beneath her.

"Marceline, you're -"

"A human?" she finished, grinning down at Bubblegum. Her upper lip was slit and her right incisor had been chipped after her mouth had slammed into the princess' crown.

"A hero!"

The Candy People who had gathered cheered as Finn joined her side. He helped Princess Bubblegum up as everyone circled and praised an incredibly disoriented Marceline.