A/N: I had a lot of trouble pulling this chapter together. My plot was outlined a long, long time ago, but I'm afraid that my characterization of various people changed while the outline remained static. I hope it reads well enough.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Lily tapped him on the shoulder before he could speak, though. He turned, and she kissed him briefly on the lips. "Thanks for inviting me," she said, "Good night."

And with that she turned, meaning to head back to her apartment and leave James to wait for his inebriated friends. She was interrupted after just a few steps by a voice from behind her, husky and low. "Wait, Lily." She turned back in surprise to see James, eyes dark and gait purposeful close the distance between them.

It was a matter of feeling, after that, feeling, and tasting, and smelling, but not seeing. Her eyes were shut and her mind was too fixed on the feeling of his breath against her lips for silly things like vision to matter. "Lily," she felt him say, his voice desperate and so, so close.

Her hands shifted from his waist to his back and brushed up against something hard and cold – the wall. When had she pushed him up against it? His hands moved at the small of her back, gaining confidence and losing altitude as they went. Lips, hands, tongues, bodies.

And then:

Knock. Knock knock.

Lily's eyes snapped open and the sleep encrusted into her eyes stung. She was still dressed in what she'd worn to the party last night; she could feel where she'd lain on one of her jacket's buttons. Her mouth felt sticky, her hair limp, and her arms were too heavy to rub her eyes clean. Uncaring, she stared at the ceiling as she replayed her dream and the events of the night before. Her body was tired and sore but her mind was full of James.

Knock knock knock. Knock.

Oh right. That's why she'd woken up. She glanced at the alarm clock. 6:24. Hungover, tired, and woken up far too early from far too nice of a dream, Lily had never felt as murderous as she did in that moment. Perhaps it would go away if she just ignored it. Yes, that plan seemed best. Desperate to fall back asleep, she pulled her pillow over her head in an attempt to muffle the incessant knocking, but it was no use.

Knock. Knock.

Bugger that plan, then. "All right, all right, I'm coming," she groused, hoping that whoever it was had a very good reason to interrupt her so. She made her away and pulled open the door, revealing a very distressed Julia. "What?"

Julia was bouncing on the balls of her feet, too full of nerves to stay still. "You need to go back to the dormitory," she said. "I think Alice is back, because The Song is playing, but I have to go somewhere and I can't find Mary anywhere, so you have to take care of this." And then she ran off, leaving the Head's apartment entirely before Lily could even parse what had been said.

It took a moment to sink in, but when it did, lingering thoughts of how cozy her bed was, or how gross she felt wearing yesterday's clothing, or of the feeling of James' lips, left her head. If Alice was listening to 'Yesterday,' it was an emergency.

She made the trip to the Fat Lady in record time, panted out the password (sus ulterius) and headed in, making her way up the staircase towards the source of the melancholy music. She collected herself, knocking twice before calling out, "Alice, it's me... It's Lily. Are you okay? I'm coming in."

Lily Evans liked to think of herself as a generally prepared person, but she was most definitely not expecting the sight that met her eyes as she pushed open the door to the room. Alice Prewett was most definitely not having a good cry, unless she was hidden away in the bathroom, or else, perhaps, underneath one of the beds. Instead, Mary MacDonald was curled up, as small as she could make herself, weeping desperately as she listened to The Song.

"Ma- Mary?" the Head Girl asked cautiously as she stepped inside. "A- Are you okay? What happened? Where's Alice?"

It was, apparently, the wrong thing to say. Mary's misery became noticeably less silent and Lily paused, at an utter loss as to how to deal with a sobbing Mary MacDonald.

"Mary?" she tried again. "Can you tell me what's going on so that I can try to help you fix it?"

"I can't fix it," the blonde wailed. "I can't, because it wouldn't be fair to her, and she deserves better, and it's my fault."

"Mary, what's going on? What wouldn't be fair to who?"

The girl held out a crumpled piece of parchment. In the corner, Lily could recognize Alice's handwriting addressing the letter to Mary. "What is this, Mary?"

"Just- Just read it," Mary said, thrusting the parchment at Lily.

"Mare-Bear,

I think Frank and I are ready. We've talked about it, and I think tonight's the night. I love him, Mare and I love being with him. He isn't like the other boys that I've dated; he's funny, and sincere, and nice, and he loves me back.

He just makes me so happy, Mare. Being near him just makes me feel so complete. Even if we're just sitting in the Hospital Wing talking, his company is amazing.

I've gotta go! Frank's just got back, and, well…

Love,

Alice"

Ah. "So... So they're... Alice and Frank are shagging? Do... Do you fancy Frank? Is that what this is?" She should have seen it earlier; to be honest, Mary'd always been staring at Frank when the group had been together.

Mary let out a shaky laugh. "I- I wish," she said, "It- It's worse. Much worse."

"Yeah? It's okay Mary, really, you can tell me. You can tell me what's wrong, I won't judge or say anything to anyone."

"I know, it's just... Nobody knows," Mary whispered. She gulped at the air desperately. "It's... It's Alice. It's not Frank, it's Alice." Her voice gained strength as she continued, her confidence seemingly bolstered by the initial admission. "I've been in love with Alice since Second Year."

That actually made a lot more sense than Mary fancying Frank.

Lily crossed the room, seating herself on the edge of Mary's bed. She turned and put a hand gently on the crying blonde's shoulder. "Mary... Mary, why don't you just tell her? She's your best friend. She won't hold it against you."

"I can't!" Mary wailed. "You know Alice. She wants- She wants to go out in public and kiss her boyfriend and hold hands and go on dates and have old ladies tell her how cute she is with her boyfriend, and, and she wants a family, and children, and she wants all these things that I can't give her." She took a deep breath and continued, subdued and miserable. "All I can do is love her, but that's not enough. That can't be enough."

"Mary, I'm so sorry," was all Lily could think to say.

Mary burst into fresh tears, burying her face in Lily's shoulder and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until she collapsed on the bed, too exhausted even for anguish. Lily tucked her friend into bed and placed a quiet kiss on her forehead before leaving the room. She made her way back to her own dormitory where she quickly showered and changed into her school robes before making her way to the Great Hall.

Breakfast that morning was subdued – she was alone at the Gryffindor table and none of the other houses had more than two or three members seated. She ate quietly and quickly, more to quell the complaints of her stomach than out of any real desire to taste the food she was eating. Every time she tried to think of something upbeat, of the previous night's dancing, or the previous night's kiss, for example, Mary's tear drenched face overpowered the happier thought.

Two letters arrived for her over her plate of toast. The first was from Petunia, which she opened with a leaden heart.

Lily,

Wedding was lovely. Thank you for not coming. Vernon and I leave for Spain tomorrow.

Petunia

She felt her eyes grow wet as she reread the terse note. She couldn't help but feel resentment towards Vernon; viscerally, she felt that it was his fault that Petunia was so hateful, that it was his fault that Petunia resented her so. She knew it wasn't true, though, and that only made the abandonment worse.

Still, having someone to blame made it somehow seem better; directed at Vernon, the blame wasn't able to turn inwards. She was able to avoid voicing the sickening knowledge that she would never have her sister back.

She sat in numb silence and stared at her slowly cooling toast until a second owl dropped a second envelope, this one a little heavier, a little creamier, onto her plate, hoo-ing proudly.

The second letter was from Narcissa. The sight of the familiar seal on green wax made her heart flutter – good news was just what she needed today after Petunia and Mary.

Lily,

I'm sorry I haven't written back but I'm sorrier still that this will be my last. We can't stay in touch. The truth is that your blood status means that you're dangerous and as a faithful Black, there are sacrifices that I have to make.

Lucius told me that I had to make a choice – him or you. I'm sorry Lily, but I'm in love with Lucius and he will always come first for me.

We're engaged, by the way. We haven't told the papers yet, but the Prophet should be running a piece on us in the coming weeks.

Narcissa Malfoy

Lily felt like she'd been punched in the gut. It was what she had been looking for, an explanation, but she couldn't help but feel that ignorance had been bliss. Narcissa didn't want to talk to her anymore; Narcissa didn't want to talk to her anymore. Lily wasn't sure if Narcissa's rejection hurt more than Petunia's because it was unexpected, or because it had come second.

Suddenly unable to sit still any longer, she stood up from the table and walked briskly up the stairs. It was a habit left over from home; whenever she and Petunia had a particularly bad fight, Lily would leave and wander aimlessly around the neighborhood until she somehow found herself back in front of her house, her mind no longer clouded with anger or hurt.

The tactic worked even better at Hogwarts. It took more effort to safely navigate the staircases and halls of the castle, which left Lily less mental energy to brood. It was distracting and busy and those were two things that Lily Evans needed.

While Lily Evans maneuvered through trick staircases and shifting hallways, trying her utmost to avoid thinking about Petunia and Narcissa, Julia Saito was floors below in the kitchens, having the conversation that she'd been dreading for months.

"You're leaving now?" she asked quietly.

Regulus nodded, gesturing at the trunk behind him. "It's time. Are you okay?" he asked carefully.

She was quiet for a few moments as she stared at the floor, unable to talk, think, move. Her shoulders began to heave and a sob, unbidden, escaped her lips.

He rushed to her, catching her up in his arms and holding her tears to his shoulder. It was the first time he'd hugged her and suddenly all the hugs that could have been, all the contact, all the time that they could have had rushed through Julia's head.

"Don't go," she said. The words were hurried, desperate. "Don't. You're- you're safe at school. Dumbledore is here. You can stay here."

He shook his head. "I can't do that."

"I know," she said miserably, "But I had to ask."

Neither talked for a while after that. The silence was precious and rather than ruin the moment with words, each preferred to simply look, to try to etch a familiar face into memory. It was Julia who eventually broke the silence. "Good luck, then."

He reached down the front of his shirt with his right hand and pulled out the locket that she'd given him. "I've all the luck I need," he said gently. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers before turning, lifting his trunk with a flick of his wand, and stepping through the portrait hole. He stopped once he was outside, though, and turned around.

"Julia," he said, "I-"

She cut him off. It didn't need to be said. "Me too."

He nodded and turned back, walking purposefully down the hall and towards the entrance to the school. It was the last Julia would ever see of Regulus.

Lily had retired to her room. She'd walked as much of the castle as her legs could take and had all but crawled back to her apartment, physically and emotionally exhausted, where she collapsed on her bed, meaning to sleep through the next four months, or until her problems had resolved themselves. The rest, however, was not to be.

Knock knock.

"Come in," Lily said mechanically. The door swung open and Remus walked in, his eyes darting around the room nervously. "Hi, Remus."

He motioned towards her desk. "Can I sit?" She nodded, and he pulled out her desk chair and sat down. "Erm. Well." He began to play with the hem of his robe, worrying the fabric between thumb and forefinger. "As it turns out- well."

Lily couldn't help but chuckle despite herself. "Out with it, Remus. What's going on?"

He seemed to notice, for the first time, the puffiness of her face, the redness of her nose and eyes, the dampness of her cheeks. "Lily," he said, nerves gone and replaced by concern, "Are you okay?"

Lily waved a hand at him dismissively. "Fine. What's up with you?"

Remus' brow furrowed. "Lily, I'm not stupid, I can-"

"Remus. Just- Not now. Okay?"

He stared at her for a few seconds before nodding. "Fine. But we're talking about this later."

"Right. So why're you here?"

Remus looked around the room again, as if he'd forgotten that he'd made a similar check upon entering the room. "Erm. Well. As it turns out…" He took a deep breath. "Sirius and I kissed last night."

Lily's raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Really? That's great for you, Remus! Congratulations."

The boy grinned bashfully. "Does James know?" Lily asked, "Because I know he stayed and waited for the two of you to get back last night."

Remus looked pained. "He was already asleep by the time we got in. And actually, that's- That's sort of why I'm here." Another breath. "Sirius and I, we- Well, okay, I, don't want to be public yet." His face crumpled. "It's hard enough being a werewolf, even if nobody else knows, but I don't think I could handle being out as well."

Lily nodded. "I'm sorry Remus."

Remus wasn't done, though. "And I need to ask you a favor. You're the only person that I trust with all of this." With that, he gestured towards himself before continuing. "I need you to be my beard, Lily."

Lily's mind flashed back to that morning's dream - kissing James somehow seemed so much more distant than last night - then briefly over the chaotic events of the day. She couldn't; she had to talk to James about what they were, she had to sort out things with Narcissa and Petunia, and Merlin, poor Mary must still be in her bed sobbing. "Remus, I can't. There's just so much going-"

"Lily, go out with me? Please?"

Lily opened her mouth once more to protest, but just then, the door burst open. "I knew it!" James bellowed, his eyes positively murderous, "I knew you fancied her, Remus."

Lily whirled to face the intruder. "Potter, I am not in the mood for this right now," she snapped.

He laughed bitterly. "So how long has this been going on for? Were you thinking of him when you kissed me last night?"

Remus paled. "Oh, Lily, I didn't know, I-"

"Shut up, Remus," Lily said coldly before turning back to James. "That's what you think of me?"

"Why shouldn't I?" James said with a sneer, the kind of sneer that she remembered him directing towards Severus, "Can you come up with a logical alternative?"

"Fuck off," Lily spat, before turning back towards Remus. "Remus, I'd love to go out with you," she said sweetly, before kissing the confused boy on the lips.

The sound of a door slamming violently was her cue to release Remus. She felt ready to cry, but she wouldn't, not over this. Over the past few months, without even realizing it, she'd let James become an anchor, a constant. She wanted nothing more than to be sitting in her common room with her Charms book open in front of her and James across from her. She wanted the comfortable quiet that the two shared, wanted the safety of his company. After today, she needed that security, and something inside her twisted horribly when she reminded herself that she couldn't have it.

Unbidden, her mind dredged up a memory from a few weeks before.

James was frustrated. There was a smudge of ink on his left cheek and one on the tip of his nose. "I give up," he groaned, leaning back in his chair, "It's too much. The Anti-Apparition Wards are one thing. I get those, and the Muggle Repelling charms are dead useful, but why would I ever need a Ghost Busting Ward? Am I in danger from incorporeal beings that can't use magic? I think Lancaster's gone off the deep end with this."

Lily couldn't help but laugh. She was used to James Potter being stubborn, after all, she'd been on the receiving end of his affections for the first six years of her schooling, but that was different – that was directed at her, while this was just endearing. "It's not that hard, James. The spell is dead simple."

James rolled his eyes. "I'm not complaining about the magic, Lily, it's the principle of it. What's the worst a ghost could do to me? Sit on top of me and give me a cold?"

"You could fail the essay and the practical."

James shrugged. "I've failed essays before. It's not that big of a deal, Lily."

"Right, but if you fail this essay, then I'd just have to go and find a new homework partner, won't I? It wouldn't do me any good to work with a failing student."

James snickered. "As if you could get rid of me that easily."

And that moment, shaking with repressed tears, held by a confused Remus Lupin (her boyfriend, her fucking boyfriend) was when Lily Evans promised herself that she would never fall in love.

AN: I'm looking for a beta reader for a crossover that's been floating around my head the last couple of days. It'd be significantly more action-y than anything else I've written. If you can help me out, send me a PM or message me on tumblr. Thanks much!

The next chapter will be called, "Revolution."

~ConJar