A/N: So, I blame this fic on the military and tactical self-defence classes my brother and I go to, and I thought this could be fun to write. The plan is to have a chapter from the point of view of each character, with some hilarity and minor injuries along the way. I also hope to squeeze some Leddi and other pairings in here, as well as the personalities and relationships between the characters. If it's as much fun to read as it is to write, I'll be pleased :)

So I hope you enjoy!

Sarah x

"OK," Malick said. "We're going to pair you off, and then we'll begin. First, I want everybody to take their shoes off; we don't want any serious injuries." A few confused glances were shot around the room, but everyone did remove their shoes and place them to the sides of the many, many gym mats laid upon the floor. Everyone was in scrubs – there was no way in hell they could do this in suits, skirts and high heels – and were now barefoot.

"Right, then!" Jonny called, and the room fell quiet again. "Chrissie Williams and Luc Hemingway, you two stand on opposite sides of the mats, up at the top. Oliver Valentine and Eddi McKee will do the same to their right."

Chrissie, Luc, Eddi and Ollie grudgingly took the positions they were pretty much commanded into.

"Next to them, we have Tara Lo and Chantelle Lane," Malick continued from his clipboard. "Jonny and I will work here so everyone can see us." He pointed to his right and said, "Mo Effanga, Henrik Hanssen, you'll be working next to us."

"Sacha Levy and Elliot hope, next to them!" Jonny called, as Elliot and Sacha wandered to next to where Hanssen and Mo stood facing each other. "Then Jac Naylor and Michael Spence." Jac looked positively seething at being called to this 'meeting.' She had already suspected it wasn't what it appeared to be, and tried to get out of it, but there she stood, opposite Michael.

"And last but not least, Serena Campbell and Ric Griffin!" Malick finished the task of placing everyone where they were meant to be. "Jeez, no need to look so worried! We ain't gonna kill you!" he laughed at everyone's apprehensive expressions.

"OK, now that's sorted," Jonny began, "welcome to your self-defence session."

"I'm sorry," Michael interrupted. "Self-defence? What the hell?"

"Mr. Spence," Jonny addressed him politely. "Wouldn't you rather be able to protect yourself and your staff, rather than let some drunk, drugged up wee chav walk onto AAU and break someone's jaw, or worse?"

It was a rhetorical question that beat Michael into submissively stepping back, facing Jac and her know-it-all smirk, and an evil grin spread across his face. "Payback!" he whispered at her.

"We're gonna teach you how to stop an attack and take someone to the floor with seriously injuring them," Malick continued. "Now, if someone's going to attack you, with their fists, a knife, a syringe, a scalpel, anything, they're going to give you a physical warning. They could have you by the shirt, or the could lean or step forward slightly, or even just look at the floor. So, instead of blocking something the isn't there yet, you should hold your hands up in a passive-defensive way, so they know you don't want a fight," he demonstrated by holding his hands loosely, palms facing out, in front of his face.

"The other thing," Jonny added, "is, especially where I come from in bonny auld Scotland, if somebody's that close to you or has grabbed your top, they're gonna try and head-butt you, but if you've got your hands up here, you can just let the moron destroy their own nose on your hand."

"But if you see a warning sign, and you see a punch or a strike coming, you can stop it. You don't block with any amount of force – they'll just take their hand back and try again – but you use your natural flinch reaction and put your hand out to stop them, and no more," explained Malck. He went to hit Jonny, who raised his arm to gently stop it.

"Then," continued the Scottish nurse, "you have an open space under the arm to grab your attacker's upper arm and push them around so you're behind them." Jonny demonstrated by putting his free hand through the gap and taking Malick's upper arm, and moved the original defending hand up to his shoulder, twisting him around so he was at his back.

"You take your knee and stick it up their arse," Jonny continued as he showed them on Malick's example, much to the amusement of Michael, Serena, Oliver and Ric, all four of whom sniggered. "You'll notice his back arches a bit. Then you can put your hands under their chin, with your elbows as close together as possible between their shoulder blades."

Jonny's hands were pressing Malick's neck, and his arms were on Malick's back. "Now," Malick said, "you should be able to push your elbows forwards slightly and they'll lose their balance and fall to the ground. From there, you should be able to twist their head so their cheek is pressing against your knee. The best thing is, they'll still be in your control, because you'll still have a hold of their head."

Jonny finished it by jerking his elbows forwards just a little, making Malick lose his balance and fall on his backside, and Jonny still had control of the head, which he promptly pressed into his own kneecap.

"It's really the best takedown we could teach you, because it doesn't require power or brute force," Jonny explained why he was teaching them this particular method of removing the threat from a person. "It also can't really properly injure the other person, which is an advantage because there's a common assault charge in England, so this helps you to avoid it should the idiot happen to be a chancer."

"It's a great thing to know because strength and force don't really come into it," Malick reiterated Jonny's point. "Dr. Lo could easily take down Mr. Hanssen with this. Nurse Lane could quite easily have me on the floor with this if I wasn't expecting it. They key is to come across as helpless, so they can't see it coming. Always keep your hands in front of you, so you seem like you're backing off, and you're not a threat to them."

They demonstrated on each other another three times to make sure everybody saw what they were supposed to be doing. Eddi and Luc glanced at each other, and Luc mouthed to her, "Someone is going to get hurt."

She stifled a laugh and nodded in agreement. "Tenner says Sacha ends up flat on his back ready to pass out," she whispered.

"I think Elliot will peg out before Sacha does," Luc contradicted her in a whisper. They slyly shook on it.

"You're on," Eddi smirked.

On the other end of the room, Michael turned to Ric and warned him quietly, "You're gonna have your hands full with Serena. Look at her," he told Ric, jerking his head towards the woman. "She could take someone down with that glare of hers alone, so imagine what she'll be able to do with this," he started to wind Ric up.

Ric turned on him and pointed out, "At least I'm not stuck fighting with Jac Naylor. You're in for a rougher time than me." Michael glanced at Jac and then back at Ric, his face draining white at the prospect.

"Wanna swap?" he suggested.

Ric just snorted and said, "No." Michael started pouting like a child, arrogant enough to think he would eventually get hi own way.

"Why not?" he demanded, coming across as extremely juvenile.

"Because I'm not stupid," he replied with a small smile. He would much rather come up against Serena than Jac any day. After all, Serena, although she was a force to be reckoned with in many ways, was the sort of person who, physically, would just protect herself if the need was to arise, but Jac was more than capable of being just plain vicious, and it was a relief to see Serena opposite him instead of the younger, more cut-throat woman.

They heard the order to start practising, and the sounds of people slamming to the ground and swearing as people were a bit too rough filled the room.

Hope it's OK!
Please leave a review and tell me what you think of it!
Sarah x