So I have absolutely nothing to say as an excuse to explain why I hadn't updated in a while. Call it boredom or writers block, whatever you want, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE RETURNED...mostly, I am no longer saying when i will update because it is more of a let down if i don't do it "on time" well I at least hope you like the chapter, please and thank you.

MAGNUS POV

Help me Magnus! Magnus SAVE ME! PLEASE! Oh angel…

Vibrant azure eyes flashed, agony and misery flowed from eye to eye, like crashing tides against jagged rocks. A pale body being brutally mutilated from the corner of my vision, always showing to those brilliant runes that encased his perfect skin, a knife dragged along the arm, and dagger pushed into a leg, a seraph blade sliding along the delicate skin of the stomach, and rape at its finest.

A piercing screech was brought to my ears, a sound that could bring a man to his knees in anguish, echoed through my mind.

Did he scream like that when they tortured him?

Did he feel as helpless as I do when I dream of this?

Did he resolve that his death would be a painful one?

My arms dropped from its position under my chin and fell to my side as I violently woke from my daydream. My body trembled from the utterly horrible thoughts that circulated around my head; I trudged into the bathroom by the stairs and just bleakly stared. My once alive cat eyes were now dull and dead, dark bags hung from my bland sockets, my cheeks were sunken in and my lips were swollen from teeth marks of anxiety. The funny thing about this was, I didn't care.

If Alec was kidnaped for being gay, and having a relationship with a downworlder, there should be other cases or at least reporting's of some sort. Alec will eventually regain his memory, he has already had flashes of moments of his past life, so that wasn't much of a problem now, after the first moment he had there has been several after that and it has been two months since then. It might take a very long time, but it will happen, and when it does, the people, no scratch that monsters is a better word, that have done this to him will not be alive to see it.

I raced out of the bathroom after fixing the mess that held my face captive, and caught a cab to the institute, I would have used magic, but I couldn't conjure the power. I was drained.

After Isabelle let me in, I treaded to the library and searched for semi resent reporting's of murder or assault in the past two years. They seemed like they knew what they were doing with Alec; I've never known any type of or cult to ever do that to a Shadowhunter, let alone a mundane.

After a few hours of searching I can across a black leather book, I pulled it from the shelf and sat on one of the fluffed golden chairs and opened the book to page one.

1979 December 22-Cult attack; Alicia Ravenscar; Evident torture, rape, death within 2 hours of appearance, cult not found

1980 November 17- Another cult attack; Conrad Starkweathe; Evident torture, rape, death within 2 hours of appearance, cult not found

The words were twisting in on themselves, transforming the letters into something sinister and evil, a gasp left my lips as I flipped through page after page, all dating up to recently, to the last page so far, just looking at it made my blood run cold.

2012 October 12- Yet another cult attack on a shadow hunter; Ashton Cartwright; Evident torture, rape, death within 2 hours of appearance, cult STILL not found, Cartwright family still in question about murder

2012 November 5- Cult attack; Alexander Lightwood; Evident torture, rape, still alive, no recollection of event, subject has vivid nightmares, family not in question, under protection of high warlock of Brooklyn

The look of Alec's name on this page made bile rise in my throat, sweating profoundly I looked at the other most recent entry. Ashton Cartwright, if his family was in question maybe I could check it out, I picked up another book I saw earlier that; it held all of the shadow hunter family information, where they lived, etc.

After I had contacted the family I had to wait, but what was waiting when you were so anxious a five minute time period seemed like an eternity. So I walked around the institute, trying to find my blue eyed Shadowhunter, though the walk didn't last much longer; patience was never my strong point so my slow trudge eventually sped up to a decent jog. When I stepped up to the door, nervous butterflies started buzzing around inside of me, my heart thudded in my chest, a heart wrenching feeling swept through me as I gradually pushed the open the object that blocked my path.

What I saw surprised me and at the same time, didn't, Alec should have been doing something, anything, but what was there to do when you didn't have any memories, he had just started relearning the runes, and fighting techniques, but it wasn't enough. Nobody trusted him to get their back in battle, it was like he was just a young child again, after all that he's been through I would assume they would try harder to get him back into his life. Though something inside told me that there was a reason his parents hadn't authorized Brother Jeremiah or any of the other brothers to try and fix whatever was blocking his memories, I intended to find out that very reason. Call it deductive reasoning, but I will find it one way or another.

He was lying in the white hospital like bed staring up at the ceiling with such a pained gaze that I involuntarily winced. "Alec…Hey," He jumped at my words, before turning to his side and regarded me with brilliant silvery blue eyes that could bring me to my knees in mercy. If I hadn't known him before, the look would've seemed cold and detached, but I did know him, and I could clearly see the masked agony that was swirling underneath in blue waves.

He was in so much pain, such a tender soul was burning with anguish, though it didn't go unnoticed, I could see it in his posture; everytime his memory slipped and he lost a piece of that puzzle his shoulders would tense and his lips would form a tight line. I could see it everytime the people that were supposed to support him would shy away with pain of their own and run with their tails between their legs hurting Alec along the way. The only thing I can say at this point was that it doesn't go unnoticed.

"H-How are you feeling?" I was stuttering, this is fabulous, I never stuttered, but this wasn't an ordinary time, Alec was supposed to have his memory, and I was supposed to be my normal but not so normal self.

"Don't treat me like a patient, I am nothing of the sorts." His sharp tone startled me for mere seconds before I retaliated, "Yes, Alec, you are, you lost your memory and we are trying to help you get it back, don't get your panties in a bunch because you don't like being treated this way" My eyebrow twitched in irritation as I watched Alec sit up and glare at me before snapping back, "My panties aren't in a bunch," he huffed, then his face flushed bright cherry red, "N-Not t-t-that I wear…those…"

A glimmer of hope jumped from my body as I realized Alec was almost acting normal, he was blushing, he was talking back to me, hell he was even slouching his shoulders like he used to. "Alec…Did you remember anything?" his head shot up, and that torturous gaze was back, shaking his head, he dropped it back and I watched with childlike innocence as his ears turned a light pink.

A sad smile made its way onto my face as I glided over to the bed and lightly sat down next to Alec, "Hey, hey, hey, it's ok, I was just asking, its fine Alexander, you'll remember with time," I let my arm slide up his back and rest on his shoulders. To my surprise he leaned into my touch and let his head lay on my shoulder, I couldn't explain how I felt in this moment even if I wanted to, my heart warmed and my pulse jumped, his head fit so perfectly in the crook of my neck, and even his wiry raven hair tickled my cheek. It was my turn to blush now, if only slightly.

"Alexander, its ok, you don't have to feel this way, there is absolutely nothing that can stop you from remembering, you just need time, it IS ok," I soothed, running my fingers through his hair, I head a sob escape his perfect lips. My heart ached; I planted a kiss in his hair as I shushed him and whispered loving things into his ears to calm him down. Feeling a silent track of tears soak the sleeve of my light purple long sleeve shirt made me was to cry, I felt my own catlike eyes begin to water.

After some time I felt more than heard a soft snore that broke the silence that had filled the room, laying him down and tucking him in before I pressed my lips to his forehead and let the few tears that refused to fall pour from my eyes, letting out some of the sorrow and grief that had filled my body the past few months.

Walking away from him was one of the hardest things I've had to do and I always felt like I was repeating the notion again and again, letting him down when he didn't find his memory, or breaking his heart when I could do ANYTHING. His heart wasn't the only thing was being destroyed, mine was eroding in the process, and the only thing I could do about it was sit here and watch as I and Alec was washed away by all of it.

My resolution had come and it was definitely time to act, the poker face was back as I strode down the hall, and let my anger guide me, straight to the Cartwright household, I was done waiting for an answer, I was diving straight into hell at this point.

THANK YOU FOR READING, I know I've been terrible to you, with the whole I'm not going to update for two months and I have no excuses, blah blah blah, SERIOUSLY THOUGH I am sorry! I hope it was mostly worth it, please REVIEW:)