Happy birthday, Itachi!

I wish I could have timed this better since Itachi's birthday is coming up in the story, but here's a chapter on his birthday, but it's not a happy chapter.

beta: PhoenixInnocence

The semester ended. Kakashi came over with his bags packed the night before his trip. Ibiki would pick him up in the morning from the Uchiha estate so he could leave the Bentley in the Uchiha garage. After breakfast, Kakashi gathered his bags and met Ibiki outside the gates.

Itachi felt lonely within an hour of Kakashi's departure. He would be gone for two weeks. Sasuke and Fugaku worked; Mikoto had flexible hours, but she was still the chairwoman of the Japanese Heritage Center and they were preparing a Noh exhibition for August. That depressed Itachi since he loved his heritage and enjoyed watching Noh Theater.

Itachi was home alone during the day with Inoichi and a few members of the household staff, but they all had jobs to do. He just laid about in his room all day until his family dragged him out for meals. He was alone.

So, even though Itachi resented him a bit at the moment, Itachi was glad when Inoichi told him Shisui was here to see him four days after Kakashi left.

Inoichi was hesitant to let the young man back into the house after Fugaku voiced concern about him, but he didn't have orders to keep him away and Inoichi knew how close Itachi once was to him. Itachi was lonely and if Itachi wanted his company, Inoichi wouldn't keep them apart. However, he never liked Fugaku's nephew.

Itachi sat cross-legged on his bed when Shisui came in. He had his glasses on and dressed all in black. Shisui sat next to him and put his arm around his shoulders.

"How are you doing, itoko?"

Itachi smiled at the familiar, affectionate use of the word for 'cousin'. "I'm fine. It's a weekday, still no job?"

"You make it sound like I'm indigent. I'm looking for a job; looking into another government contract. You seem bored. Where's your boyfriend?"

"I think he said he and his friends were going to Nevada or Utah or something. Bunch of soldiers drinking and target shooting in the desert. I did suggest he take you too. A moving target would be more challenging."

Shisui sighed and took his arm from Itachi's shoulders. "God, it's been years. You still hold it against me? I did cheat on you, but it's been so long. I haven't had a serious relationship since you."

Itachi scoffed. "Neither did I for years. Guess whose fault that was?"

"I loved you. It's true what I said: there were things I wanted to do that I didn't want to do to you, my precious little cousin."

"Well, not a good excuse now since I think everything's been done. Even some you never wanted to do."

"Oh, like what?" Shisui asked, playfully seductive.

"Oh, you know, gang rape, skull fucking my eye socket, and that one liked to use his hands more than anything. Amazing how that made me feel dirty more than anything else."

"Itachi, if I knew . . . I would have ran in there and murdered every one of them. I would have punished them. I would have saved you."

"Shut it. I don't doubt that you would have. This isn't about Africa. You know how long it took me to try to have a real relationship? Naruto was the first I thought might become something permanent. Sasuke was infamous, but I was just as whorish as him. I just kept things quieter. If my own cousin who loved me could cheat on me, why should anyone else be truer? I never two timed anyone, but I didn't let myself care about what others did. I wonder if you affected Sasuke too. Did my behavior rub off on him?"

"You are not to blame for Sasuke. That kid's always had jealousy and superiority issues. His being messed up has nothing to do with you or I."

"'That kid'? That kid is my baby brother. That kid is still the most important person in the world to me."

"I know, I know. He's just always glared at me. You got your father's glare too, but Sasuke . . . He's going to set someone on fire one of these days."

Itachi had to laugh at that. It was true; Sasuke had turned their father's habit into an art form. Itachi didn't glare nearly as much as his father and brother. What he wouldn't give to see Sasuke's death glare again. Especially when he glared at Itachi and he pouted at the same time. Itachi would never have annoyed him as much as he had during their lives together if Sasuke wasn't so damn cute when he did that. Poking him in the forehead was always a good way to cause that glaring pout.

"Yeah, he was jealous of the time I spent with you. He tried to be better than me at everything to get attention from father. I think he wanted to be better than me to teach me a lesson."

"Yeah, he's the last person I'd want to really piss off; he has a vengeful side. I heard about what he did to Naruto for dumping you."

"I can't entirely blame Naruto; he didn't sign up for a blind boyfriend. But he should have stayed just a little bit longer. I just needed him to stay by my side a little longer. Luckily, Sasuke wouldn't leave my room. He was my support, my anchor. He slept in my hospital bed most nights. He was like a puppy curled up on my side. They finally moved me to a bigger room with a second bed just so Sasuke didn't crowd me."

"You enjoyed it."

"Of course I did. I still called him over to join me in my bed."

"I wondered about the two of you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you two were constantly sleeping the in same bed. I'd sneak into your room and either he'd be there with you or you'd be in his bed. Annoying when I was trying to get some time with you."

"You thought Sasuke and I were . . . having sex?"

"Yeah. That's when I got jealous. I thought I might be losing you to that kid brother of yours."

Itachi scoffed. "That's disgusting."

"More so than you and I?"

"He's my baby brother. I couldn't think of him like that and he's straight. I worried that Sasuke and my parents would treat me different when they found out I was gay, that they would worry about me being around Sasuke and being close to him like that. But they didn't. They were fine with it."

"I'm glad. I'd feel guilty if they disowned you or anything. But I'd always have a place for you."

"I'm never getting back together with you. Even if Kakashi were to leave, I wouldn't go back to you." Actually, he'd probably hit up Masahiko.

"Itachi," Shisui cooed and caressed his arm.

Itachi shook him off and stood. "I'm hungry," he said in excuse. He went out the door and to the stairs.

"What are you doing?! You can't go down the stairs!"

"I've been doing it for months, jackass." Itachi started going down as always.

Shisui ran down and grabbed Itachi's arm to stop him. "You shouldn't do stuff like that."

"Get off." Itachi shook off his hand and continued down. He thought he was all the way down and stepped out on the last step and fell.

"See? I told you," Shisui said and came down to help him up.

Itachi shook him off again. "You distracted me. I lost count."

"Itachi, you really need help; you're going to hurt yourself."

Itachi had turned to throw him off. He was sure of his direction. He meant to storm off toward the living room and the dining room beyond, but he hit the front door.

Shisui wrapped his arms around him and held him close. "You need help; you can't do things by yourself anymore. Let me help you."

Itachi was angry and frustrated. He didn't like being restrained at the moment, but he also really liked being hugged. He let him hold him for half a minute, but then struggled away.

"Please, leave me alone," Itachi said in a calm voice.

Having the front door as a touchstone, Itachi walked into the living room and sat on the sofa. Shisui sat next to him. Very close next to him. Itachi leaned away, but Shisui leaned in and pulled him close. He pulled Itachi's hair from his shoulders and smoothed it down his back. He pulled Itachi's mouth to his and kissed and licked at his sealed lips.

He stopped trying to kiss him to pull his glasses off and saw his scarred eyes for the first time. He hesitated. It was hideous; white and red lines crisscrossing his once flawless eyelids at different angles and jagged cuts where Itachi struggled the most. The cuts had not been carefully made and had been infected causing them to be thick and still discolored even now that they had healed. It wasn't just the lids, but the skin around his eyes were cut too. They marred the beautiful face of his cousin. He was horrified.

Itachi's first rape had been just Yahiko convincing him he had no choice; his rape by most of the others had been far more violent. Rather than reminding Itachi of his previous rapes, Shisui forcing himself on him just made Itachi uncomfortable and angry. He couldn't see, but he wasn't going to lay down for Shisui. He didn't fear Shisui; he may be more skittish now, fully aware of how vulnerable he was, but he knew Shisui and he was at home with Inoichi and others within call. He also faced worse men, worse rapists, than Shisui. He put his left hand gently on Shisui's face and pulled back to punch him with his right hand.

"Stay away from me," Itachi growled. His eyes opened on their own as if he could see and the sight of unfocused, empty doll eyes under those scarred eyelids disturbed Shisui. Any boner he had, shriveled up.

"Fine, I'll leave you alone." He did as he said and stood. Itachi could hear him grab his jacket and open and shut the door.

Something in Shisui's voice told Itachi that it wasn't the punch that drove him off; he had hesitated before that, giving Itachi the opening to punch him. Itachi was fully aware of his glasses being gone and connected the two. Shisui was disgusted by the scars.

Fuck, he missed Kakashi. Kakashi fucked him in the light with his glasses off. Kakashi didn't care about the scars. Kakashi didn't treat him like a fragile piece of glass or someone who couldn't help himself. He loved Kakashi so much right now; Kakashi reallyloved him. It wasn't his looks so much, but he loved him, unlike Shisui who was obviously put off by his looks now. It was why he hid them. That and he didn't think his family wanted to see evidence of what happened to him. He didn't want anyone to be reminded of what happened to him. It was still humiliating to think that people thought about it; imagined what he went through. He wished no one knew at all. No one could know what he really went through, though he shared more with Kakashi than he had anyone else. But Kakashi wasn't even here.

He felt so lonely. He was cut off. He couldn't see anyone else and that made him feel lonely. He was in a different world now than everyone else. A world of never ending darkness. He wanted to shrink back into a shell and just be alone.

The attempted rape didn't bother him—nothing Shisui could do to him could approach what he'd already experienced. But Shisui's disgust . . .

Itachi felt for his glasses on the sofa and then he got on the floor and felt for them. He couldn't find them.

He sat on the sofa again and folded his legs against his chest and hugged his knees. Now he could feel the bruises on his hands, arms, and knees from where he fell. He fell. It was the first time in months that he'd fallen. He touched his face and it hurt.

Itachi curled up tighter and cried into his knees.

xxxxx

Itachi fell asleep on the sofa, so Inoichi didn't notice anything wrong when he spotted him there. He let him lie rather than wake him for lunch.

Mikoto looked for him when she came home. She knelt to check on him and saw the bruises on his face and his glasses missing.

"Itachi," she shook his shoulder gently. "Itachi, baby, what's wrong?"

Itachi moaned. "Haha?"

"Your face is bruised, what happened?"

Itachi recoiled, pressing himself back into the sofa. "I fell."

"Honey," she breathed. "How? What happened?"

"I miscounted the steps."

Mikoto was suspicious; Itachi had never had trouble with stairs; he always held the railing and knew when he reached the ground by the carving at the end of the banister. He'd been going up and down those same stairs for two decades before he was blinded.

"Why were you rushing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Itachi, do not lie to me."

"Shisui kept smothering me and telling me I couldn't do things and he tried to stop me on the stairs and it distracted me."

"I know Sasuke always disliked him and even you don't want him around anymore. I'm banning him from this house. His concern is not good for you."

"I don't think he'll come back. I think he was disgusted when he saw my eyes. Kakashi wasn't disgusted."

"Of course he wasn't. Those of us who love you aren't disgusted."

"I don't want father or Sasuke to see the bruises."

"I don't want you closing yourself up."

"Father already thinks I'm fragile and Sasuke will smother me."

Mikoto stroked his hair. "They'll know something is wrong. Come on upstairs and I'll cover them up with makeup."

The fact Itachi was extra careful as they went up the stairs angered Mikoto. Shisui would never be welcome in this house again.

xxxxx

Sasuke ran up the stairs when he got home; he had to change. He half took over Itachi's job and kept his own department. Itachi's department was slowly going to shit. Itachi had been excellent at his job, the real spirit of R so many of their innovative products were Itachi's idea or he at least made them work. Itachi should have earned an engineering degree, but he was more of a conceptual mind than an engineering mind.

He changed out of his suit and ran down the stairs and straight to the lounge to pour himself a whiskey. Fuck, he just wanted to get drunk. The fact he was working closely with people Itachi had worked with just as closely and were almost friends with him was stressful. He was aware how much he could look like his brother and he could feel the questions in their eyes when they looked at him. They all wanted to know how his brother was, but were afraid to ask.

He took another mouthful of whiskey and refilled his glass. He threw that back and gripped the side table. He was stressed out and still constantly surrounded by thoughts of what happened to his brother, even at work. His brother was raped! It infuriated him, grieved him, left him feeling useless and impotent. He loved his brother so much and there was nothing he could do then and little he could do now. His brother was a shadow of his former self and at times it felt as if his dear brother had died. He wasn't allowed to forget. Why his brother? He'd rather be the blinded one. He was sure he could cope better being the victim than having to watch his brother be a victim.

Sasuke downed another glass, set the empty crystal on the side board and used both hands to grip it hard, enough that his upper back muscles hurt.

"Sasuke."

Sasuke bolted upright and turned to face his father, still dressed in his suit. They didn't usually keep the same hours and never commuted together.

"You look stressed."

Sasuke laughed feebly. "Yeah, you could say that. I really need someone else to take over R&D. It's not my forte and they aren't able to do anything worthwhile with me in charge."

"I still haven't found a candidate. Just hold the department together a little longer."

Sasuke nodded. "Just don't expect great things from them in the meantime. I think paid leave for the entire department is in order."

Fugaku didn't take that seriously. "Don't stress out too much, Sasuke. You have a long vacation coming up, but I don't want you to burn out before then."

"Hai."

"Kakashi told us how you were when you and he went drinking, so no more tonight."

Sasuke scowled. "Bastard."

"You should keep your brother company since his boyfriend isn't around."

"Hai."

"Is something else troubling you, Sasuke?"

"No, just stressed out."

"Relax. If you need a day off, let me know."

"No, I've got a month off coming up so I don't want to take any more time."

Fugaku let him go, but he didn't believe his son.

Sasuke checked the living room first, then headed up to Itachi's room. He knocked before peeking in. Itachi had his music on and was running his fingers over a Braille practice sheet. Sasuke knew he had to be so bored and he knew how much Itachi hated trying to learn Braille.

"Hey, Itachi, getting any better at that?"

"Sort of. I can't imagine reading a whole book like this. I could get used to a keyboard though. I'm used to the layout of the keys so as long as I can check that my fingers are on the right keys once in a while, I should be able to type."

"Well, that's something." He sat down next to his brother and leaned his shoulder into Itachi's. "I'm bored too. Want to do something?"

"Not really."

"You're not trying to become a hermit again. I may not approve of anyone touching you, but I'll tie Kakashi to you if it means you'll not try to shut yourself up again."

"Hai."

The lack of a comeback or even any humor made Sasuke look at him closely. "You depressed?"

"Yeah."

"So am I. I should just quit. We're all rich enough; I could retire. But then I'd be bored all the time, but the stress is killing me."

"I thought you liked your job."

"It's getting more stressful." He would never tell Itachi it was because he had to cover for him and deal with his former subordinates.

"You're getting a month off for the wedding and honeymoon, right?"

"Yeah. I'll stick it out until then."

"I know we were talking like we'd go with you on your honeymoon, but I don't really want to. It should be time alone with Hinata. I thought maybe Kakashi and I could follow you part way and go to London for a few days."

"Okay. As long as you feel safe enough. I know Kakashi's a badass and all, but you will take some security with you."

"Hai. I would feel safer. After what happened . . . they weren't enough."

"It won't happen again. Kakashi will protect you and our people will be more alert this time."

Itachi slouched and Sasuke examined his brother's face. That's when he noticed something was wrong with his skin. They had been close all their lives and especially since he came home blind. He could tell the texture of Itachi's face was off. He touched his brother's nose, startling Itachi. Sasuke looked at his finger. Makeup.

"Itachi, why are you wearing makeup?"

"I told mom it wouldn't work. Shisui was here and he pissed me off, I stormed off, but while I was on the stairs, he distracted me and I lost count of the steps. I fell off the last step. And then I ran into the door. Mom said I had bruises. I just wanted to stay in my room and avoid you and father, but she said that would just make you suspicious so she put makeup over the bruises."

"I'm killing Shisui."

"Shisui won't be coming back."

"Why not? Mom lay into him?"

"He saw my eyes."

"And?"

"What do you mean 'and'? He was disgusted and left."

"Asshole."

"Yeah. He tried to get me to forgive him then tried to have sex with me, but he took my glasses off and he relented, said he'd leave. And he did."

Itachi could feel Sasuke fuming so close next to him.

"Honestly, I want to lock you away too. Make sure you're safe and no one, not even Kakashi could touch you." He put his arm around him. "I love you more than anything, but I know it's not good for you to stay in this room all the time. Ever since I heard you were kidnapped, all I wanted is for you to be safe and to be the one who kept you safe. But Kakashi can do that better than I can. I may know martial arts, but he can shoot people, and will, to save you. Forget Shisui."

"Yeah."

"We'll keep all that secret from father."

"Yeah. He already thinks I'm delicate."

"You're just so pretty, you look delicate."

"I am not pretty. You are."

"Hey, we look alike. I remember when Naruto first met you; the idiot thought you were me for a moment."

"He called me 'Sasuke'," Itachi agreed.

"He thought someone put a spell on me to make me taller or something. You freaked him out."

"He was only eight."

"You played along and acted like you really were me."

"He only caught on because I called him by his name instead of 'dobe'."

"It took him another year to learn that I was calling him an idiot."

"You ever going to forgive him?"

"Are you?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"I understand why he left, but I just wish he could have waited until I was better. I'll forgive him one day."

"I have more reason to hate him. It'll take me longer."

"He talked to Kakashi again. Naruto wants to meet with me and apologize. I don't want to yet."

"When Hinata and I first started dating, I thought about us getting married and how Naruto would be my best man. I guess it was kind of childish to believe your childhood friends would always be your friends."

"It's not childish. He's not really to blame. He was just confused. Confused by his feelings for me and Hinata. I don't think he really knows what he wants. He just isn't maturing as fast as the rest of us. Once he figures out who he is, we can forgive him."

"Right. Let me smooth your makeup so father doesn't notice." Sasuke carefully smoothed the smear on Itachi's nose. "Father never gets really close to us anyway."

"Only you get in my face."

"Yep!"

Itachi hugged him close. "I've always loved you most of all too, otouto. I bet you're glad I can't poke you in the forehead anymore."

"It was playful."

"It was affectionate. My dear baby brother."

"Nii-san," Sasuke whined.

Itachi could tell where Sasuke's forehead was with them so close and he slowly moved to kiss Sasuke's forehead where he used to poke him. Sasuke helped, making sure Itachi hit the mark.

"Even when you're married with thirty kids, you'll still be my baby brother."

"Hai. But I was thinking only like three."

"Let me sleep in your room tonight. I'm feeling lonely with Kakashi gone and Shisui gone for good."

"Of course. With our significant others not around, we don't have to worry about making anyone jealous."

That reminded Itachi of what Shisui said about thinking he and Sasuke were lovers. "I never made you uncomfortable, did I? You know, being around you and sleeping in the same bed as you? You know, with me being gay and all?"

"No. You're my brother, gay or not."

"Good. I didn't think about it until recently."

"It creeps me out to think you're someone's lover. Or that you ever were. It's one reason I hated Shisui. He was stealing you and time we could have hung out together, but also I didn't like thinking of you like that. With Kakashi, I don't like being reminded that you're an adult who has sex."

"I wish I could say the same. You were always surrounded by girls so the idea of you bedding every girl in the city didn't weird me out; I saw that coming. But, if it were guys getting near my precious baby brother, there would be quite of few mass graves on the estate."

"Nii-san," Sasuke whined again. "At least you do know how I feel."

"I always knew that was your problem."

"Hey, let's go down stairs and have a drink together. We rarely drink together. Let's get shitfaced and relax."

"Sure. Father will be annoyed, but mom will take care of us."

xxxxx

Fugaku thought he should be pissed that Sasuke ignored him and went ahead and got drunk, but he was drinking with his brother and they were laughing. As long as they were happy. Their giggles during dinner were very nearly infectious. Fugaku had absolutely no idea what was so funny, but he knew there were private jokes that could only exist between brothers.

Shisui's father was Fugaku's younger brother, Kagami. His sister-in-law died of pneumonia when Shisui was four and Kagami died in a car accident three years later. That's when he took Shisui in. Though Kagami was his brother and only a year younger than him, Fugaku was never close with him and only took in his son because they were blood relatives. He was relieved that his own sons were close, the opposite of his own relationship with his brother.

He went to his home office for a while before he went to the bedroom. Mikoto was reading in bed.

"So, why were you in a mood earlier?" he asked as he removed his shirt.

"Huh?"

"You're an open book to me, Mikoto. You were upset. It had to do with Itachi. You were very relieved to see how happy Itachi was with Sasuke. You weren't upset after that."

"I really am an open book to you."

Fugaku started unfastening his pants. "It's about that bruise on Itachi's arm?"

Mikoto sighed. "You are incredible. I've banned Shisui from the house. He distracted Itachi while was on the stairs. He missed the last step. That's it. He fell and got bruised up. It upset me. Shisui is not helping and just causing problems and Sasuke hates him."

"I agree; he's not good for Itachi. He wants to coddle him."

"We all want to coddle him; even you."

"But we know how to stop ourselves. Have you talked to Sasuke? I caught him drinking as soon as he got home and then he gets drunk with his brother. That's not normal for him."

"No, I haven't spoken with him."

"Keep an eye on him. The stress at work and the wedding and Itachi might be getting to him."

"Hai."

Fugaku had stripped down to his boxers, revealing how well built he still was. He took time during the day to use the company gym; one of his ways of dealing with stress. Mikoto couldn't help stealing a few glances of her husband. He came over and kissed her forehead before going into the bathroom to finish his nightly routine.

She was quick to put her book away.

xxxxx

Mikoto took a half day and was home just after noon. She made the rounds through the house looking for her son. She grew worried when she didn't find him in the living room or his own room. She was going to just change from her heels and shirt into something more comfortable to search the house in, but there she found him, lounging on her bed.

"Itachi?"

"Mom? It's still early, isn't it?"

"I only stayed for a half day." She removed her shoes and changed with more freedom than she normally would with one of her sons in her room since he couldn't see her. It was gay son anyway. "There's little for me to do for the next few days, just make phone calls at this point. What are you doing in here?"

"Nothing else to do so I thought I would lounge in here rather than my room. Change of scenery. I remember when I played with Sasuke here on your bed when he was a toddler and you would watch us." He remembered how cute Sasuke was holding up that green stuffed dinosaur in his face and growling 'wrawww'.

Itachi wasn't wearing his glasses. She was glad he was feeling more comfortable without them, but it was hard for her to see those scars. At least he was wearing his glass eyes; she'd seen his empty eyes several times before.

Mikoto sat on the bed and scooted behind Itachi. She pulled his head down to her lap. She and Fugaku had just agreed that coddling Itachi was bad, but this was still her baby. They'd been all but alone together for weeks after he was released from the hospital, but as time went on, especially after Kakashi came into their lives, they had less and less time together. She relished being able to treat her son like a child again.

For Itachi's part, it was nice to lay about in another room. His parents' room was larger, even felt larger to him, less claustrophobic. It might have been the different air or just the feeling of his own room being like a prison—a comfortable prison he didn't want to leave, but a prison nevertheless—but he could feel the difference. Or maybe his hearing was adapting and that was why the room seemed so different from his.

This room was rich with the smells of his father's cologne and his mother's subtle perfume. Itachi believed neither of them changed their fragrance in his lifetime, they were scents of comfort all his life.

Lying his head in his mother's lap was completely different than lying it in his lover's. He was reminded of an outing they took once. A picnic near the river in the large forested public park. Fugaku had to take a call and left nine year old Itachi and five year old Sasuke with Mikoto. Sasuke wore himself out chasing ducks, and being chased by ducks. Sasuke started to doze against her shoulder and she guided his head down to her lap and he was out as she played with his hair.

Itachi had been jealous. It had been a very long time since his mother did that with him. She gestured for him to come over and guided him to lay his head on her other thigh. They slept like that until it got too late and Itachi woke up to his mother shifting. Fugaku picked up Sasuke so that he didn't wake up and carried him to the car. Mikoto couldn't carry Itachi anymore, but she took his hand and guided him in beside his sleeping brother.

There were several times during his childhood he grew jealous of his baby brother, thought that maybe his parents loved Sasuke more, but then there were moments when he felt guilty for receiving his parents' love instead of Sasuke. Even now he felt guilty that he wasn't expected to work and was free to while away the day being the center of his mother's affections.

Sasuke was stressed; even Itachi could see that without Sasuke admitting it. He wished he could do something, anything, to help Sasuke. When Sasuke was stressed before, Itachi would take on any slack and help him. He'd poke Sasuke in the forehead when their subordinates weren't looking and tell him he'd take care of his foolish little brother. He could solve any problem for his otouto, was always there to support him. He'd even taken the fall once when Sasuke screwed up; Itachi was better positioned and harder emotionally at that point that he could weather any reprimand from their father. He'd hated seeing Sasuke cowering in fear, freaking out over a mistake that could be smoothed over, but Sasuke was obsessing over having done the wrong thing, so Itachi swept in, poked him in the head, and accepted responsibility. That drove Sasuke harder since he never wanted to make his brother lose face over him again.

He'd always been the older brother. He'd always been able to make things right. Now he was one of the problems.

"Sasuke should move out when he marries Hinata, start a new life with her. He needs to not concentrate on me once he's married. I'm adding to his stress."

Mikoto stroked his forehead. "If he were to leave the house, he'd worry about you constantly. He'd be over and call all the time. Anyway, Hinata's resolved to only live with us or with her family and Sasuke would be smothered in the Hyuuga mansion. Hinata wants to come here. She likes you too and is worried about you. Don't worry about Sasuke."

Itachi sat up. "But it's my job to worry about Sasuke. It's my job as his older brother. It's not his job to worry about me. It tears me apart knowing how much he worries."

"Itachi, there is no way he's ever going to stop worrying. He's always worried about you. When you were out late, he wouldn't sleep. When you were slightest bit stressed over school, he'd be so quiet to stay out of your way. He wanted to help you, but knew if it was giving you trouble, he wouldn't be able to help. He's always worried."

She scooted closer to hug him. "Did Sasuke know about Masahiko? Your other lovers?"

"I don't think he knew about Masahiko. That I had boyfriends, yeah, he knew."

"You think he wasn't worried then?"

Itachi scoffed, but she was right.

"Sasuke also just doesn't want to leave. Do you?"

"No. I like living here. I don't feel hindered by living with my parents. We're moving to a room further down the hall though. A little more privacy."

"Even that will feel like you've moved. You'll always be my baby. I really do feel like I've gained another son with Kakashi; I'm so glad he's the one I have to share you with. I love you and Sasuke so much." She kissed his temple and lured him back down to rest in her lap.

Itachi let himself be lulled back to his mother's lap. They both dosed as Mikoto leaned back against the headboard.

Sasuke came home several hours later and, curious, eased the half closed door open. Itachi was still in the habit of looking toward sounds and when his head angled toward Sasuke; it disturbed Sasuke; it felt like he could be seen by a blind man.

Mikoto smiled at her youngest. "You're home early," she said.

"Father told me to leave as soon as I finished what I was working on," Sasuke said. "I think he was worried about my stress level."

Sasuke had already stripped his jacket and shoes so he laid next to Itachi and his mother. Mikoto reached over to smooth Sasuke's hair back. His face was far easier to look at, lacking the tear tough's Itachi inherited from his father which looked like they were carved by cares and his eyes natural and unscarred.

"Do you remember that day at the park when you were chasing the ducks?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah, I do. I wanted to play with the ducks and pet them. They didn't like that; one female nipped me several times. I eat almond duck with some relish now."

Itachi smiled broadly. "You wore yourself out and we fell asleep in mom's lap. You were so cute," Itachi said. "I never wanted to let you out of my sight; worried someone would steal you away."

Sasuke got closer and snuggled his way between Itachi's arm and body and put his head on his brother's shoulder and arm over his chest.

Mikoto forced back a sob. Her two boys together, all grown up, but clinging together like they were when they young. Both of them were wounded and suffering, one physically and the other mentally.

Sasuke would never admit to his brother or father just how much Itachi's condition was hurting him. It was one of the reasons he resisted accepting Kakashi; he couldn't let go of his brother. It was also why he waited so long to propose to Hinata. Mikoto knew that all Sasuke wanted was to fuss over his brother, to protect him and help him with everything. Just like her. She knew Sasuke loved his brother more than anyone, even Hinata. Itachi was nearly as attached to Sasuke. She was just glad it didn't step over the line. They just chastely loved each other so entirely.

She remembered when Sasuke was born and Itachi first met his new little brother. The four year old was fascinated by the baby and his tiny hands and poked his forehead gently; just curiously poking him. Sasuke didn't cry, just tried to brush the touch away which made Itachi smile. Sasuke was just as imprinted on Itachi as he was his mother. Every morning and every day after preschool and kindergarten, Itachi would check on his brother. Itachi never tired of him and Sasuke didn't start pulling away until he was being pressured to be like his older brother. But after Sasuke started dating Hinata, it seemed he'd grown up and grown past that rebellious stage and the brothers once again became very close. Then weeks later . . . Sasuke was a toddler clinging to his older brother again in a hospital bed.

Mikoto realized both her boys had fallen asleep. She was glad they were both content to stay in their house and bring their significant others with them. But husbands shouldn't be laying their heads in their mother's lap, so this might be one of the last times she could have both her boys together like this.

They must have been like that for a few hours because Fugaku came in without knocking. His entrance didn't disturb them. He smiled at his wife. Like Sasuke, he removed his jacket, tie, and belt and he laid down on the ample space on the king size bed next to Itachi.

For the first time since Sasuke was four, Mikoto had all her boys together. She caressed her husband's forehead as she had Sasuke and he drifted off as well.

Inoichi knocked gently on the partially open door and peeked in. "Dinner's ready," he whispered. He retreated after Mikoto nodded to him.

She was grateful since she could finally move her legs which had fallen asleep from the weight of Itachi's head. She shifted, waking Itachi and Sasuke. Sasuke whined which woke Fugaku. His groan as he sat up scared Itachi; he knew that wasn't Sasuke.

"When did you get here, chichi?" Sasuke asked.

"After work."

"Dinner's ready," Mikoto told them.

"We were asleep that long?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes, and my legs are numb because of it."

"Mikoto will probably be the only one who will sleep tonight," Fugaku said as he stood up.

Sasuke was the one who noticed that Itachi was awfully quiet. "Come, 'tachi, let's wash up." He helped Itachi up and took him to Itachi's room.

"You okay?" Sasuke asked.

"Not really, no."

"What's wrong?"

"We just had a really nice family moment and I couldn't see it. Father was even relaxing with us. I mean, that never happens and I couldn't see it."

Sasuke sighed. "Where is that bastard boyfriend of yours when I need him?"

"The desert."

"Yeah." He hugged his brother tightly.

"Hey, do you still have that stuffed dinosaur?" Itachi asked as they held onto each other.

"It's in a box under my bed."

"You know, I picked that out for you when you were still a baby. Mom let me carry you in a sling against my chest. The three of us went to a store to buy stuff for you and I saw that dinosaur and showed it to you. You reached out for it so I thought you wanted it. You never let the thing go."

"I didn't know you gave it to me."

"I love you so much, Sasuke. From the moment I saw you, I loved you dearly."

"I love you too, aniki. I never intended to get rid of it and I certainly won't now. Let me know if you want to . . . want me to bring it to you."

"I was just thinking about it earlier. You were adorable. Still are." Itachi slid his head back so their temples were pressed together and Itachi used the reference to poke Sasuke in the forehead gently.

"Try not to let mom and dad see how depressed you are," Sasuke whispered.

"Yeah."

"Wash your face and straighten up. I'll do the same."

Itachi nodded and they met in the hall a minute later. "Take my hand, Sasuke?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke did and Itachi went down the stairs far slower than normal, his other hand on the banister. Itachi was regressing and Sasuke struggled to hide his fury at Shisui and his depression during dinner.

He pulled his brother into his room that night so Itachi wouldn't feel alone.