AN: Just a little bit of fluffy fun :)

Summary: As Carter attempts to fix the DHD the guys entertain themselves with some Tau'ri fun for kids, but Teal'c does not understand what Jack and Daniel are trying to teach him. Silly little K rated one-shot. Set early Season 1. Humour/Friendship. Teal'c/Jack.

ROCK, PAPER, GOA'ULD HAND DEVICE.

They sat facing each other, legs crossed in the dirt, The Warrior and his new Tau'ri Brother. Daniel Jackson looked on and Captain Carter, just out of earshot so she could concentrate, was deeply occupied in decoding a string of letters, numbers and symbols that Teal'c had yet to learn to understand. O'Neill called the language 'Gobbledegook.'

"So you think you understand the rules of the game?" Jack O'Neill asked his massive friend.

"Indeed." Teal'c stated and held a large fist out in front of him.

"Okay good. After the count. Three, two, one...Scissors."

"Goa'uld hand device." Teal'c held his palm straight out.

Jack just stared, his spread-eagle fingers still hanging in mid air. "No Teal'c that's not how it's done. You can't just invent new weapons."

Teal'c frowned, or at least Jack thought he did, it was kind of hard to tell. "I did not invent the goa'uld hand device. It was in fact created many hundreds of centuries ago."

"Yes I know that Teal'c." Jack dropped his head in frustration. "But we are playing Rock, Paper, Scissors, you have to choose one of those three." he tried to explain for the third time.

"But it is a more effective weapon is it not?"

"It may well be but you have only got the three!"

"I do not." the jaffa declared. Tau'ri games were ultimately confusing, either that or tedious...like boxing.

"Yes Teal'c you do." Daniel interjected. "It is much like finding yourself cornered in battle with only three weapons. You have only one chance at victory and so must choose between them."

Teal'c straightened his spine and looked off into the distance. "So it is that to defend myself I must choose between a rock, some Tau'ri paper and a pair of your scissors?"

Daniel and Jack exchanged amused grins as their friend gave his options some serious thought.

"I think it is that I have chosen." the jaffa told them solemnly. "Though in truth I would never be so ill prepared as this in battle.

"No-o...of course you wouldn't Teal'c. Now lets go." Jack shifted excitedly where he sat in the dirt. He smirked to himself, he fancied he knew which weapon his friend would choose. "Three, two, one...Paper."

"Rock."

"Ha, ha I win!" Jack crowed, jumping to his feet.

"How is this so?" Teal'c enquired.

"Because those are the rules Teal'c. We've already explained this." Daniel laughed.

"It is impossible for paper to defeat a rock. A rock is ever enduring and paper could not harm an enemy." Teal'c just did not understand.

"But paper wraps rock. See." Jack bent down and closed his hand around Teal'c's fist. "Because it can cover it, it beats rock. Now if you had chosen scissors." He waved to Daniel for a demonstration. "You could cut through the paper defeating it."

"And to defeat scissors you choose rock because it breaks the scissors in half, like this." Daniel supplied jamming his knuckles between Jack's fingers. "Understand?"

"I do not." Teal'c growled.

"Oi." Jack tore the hat from off his head and looked round at where Carter was still hunched over her laptop near the DHD, he wondered how much longer she would be.

Daniel, being more patient than Jack drew in a breath before once again beginning his explanation. This time he chose a different tack. "It's a representation of the three equally powerful and totally different forces. Like ah...The Goa'uld, The Tok'ra and The Asgard."

"But the Tok'ra would not choose to fight the Asgard."

"Well of course not, but if they did..."

"If the Asgard in full force chose to attack then neither the Tok'ra nor the Goa'uld would prove to be the victor."

Jack threw his cap into the dirt. "Oh for crying out loud! It's just a kids game Teal'c. Little children can play this game, stop over thinking it!" He glared at his friend, who merely showed mild surprise at his outburst. "I'm going over here to see how much longer Carter is going to be fixing the DHD, I want to get off this stupid planet. You guys suck the life out of everything you know that?" he grumbled before he turned his back and stomped off, after all this was the third kids game Teal'c had failed to understand.

"What a baby!" Daniel commented as he watched Jack drop huffily down beside his 2IC.

"Indeed." supplied Teal'c and then with a cat-like grin he regarded his friend. "Daniel Jackson. Shall we continue playing?"

Jackson blinked a few times. "Yeah why not. Need me to go over the rules again?" he asked.

Teal'c grin widened. "I do not."

Daniel's jaw dropped. "Tea-al'c? You knew how to play all along didn't you?"

Not wishing to admit to his deception, the big jaffa simply held out his fist. "We shall commence upon the backwards count of three."

END

AN: He he, naughty Teal'c :) Let me know what ya think!