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Chapter 5

While one couple was remembering the love they had for each other and relighting the old flame another was heading straight for disaster as Dora Tonks walked home her wand pointed at her drunk and passed out husband levitating him off the ground. Using her wand to carry him Tonks walked with him home a frown on her face part of her finding it hard to believe that the man in front of her was her husband and the father of her child. When she finally stood in front of the house she couldn't help, but smile she was so happy to be home and walking up the walk she opened the door stepping inside with Remus and it was then that her smile was gone and she couldn't help, but want to scream. Tonks found that her house was gone and what remained was a disaster it looked like world war three had taken place in her house while she was gone stepping inside she instantly forgot about Remus looking around seeing only broken liquor bottles and broken furniture and then suddenly Tonks couldn't suppress the urge to scream.

" REMUS " screamed Tonks looking at her drunk husband as he hovered inches off the ground and as she screamed his name she felt hatred replace every emotion she had ever felt for this man.

"Remus what have you done "screamed Tonks trying to stop the tears from leaving her eyes as she looked at what used to be her home? With a wave of her wand she let him fall to the floor and as he laid there she collapsed into a chair closing the door with her wand she began to sob uncontrollably her head in her hands.

"Dora your home "said Remus groggily when he woke up from his drunken sleep awhile later and even as he called her name Tonks couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"Yes Remus I'm back, but our home is destroyed "cried Tonks looking at him finally not hiding the tears that covered her feet. He crawled over to where she sat, but when he tried to take her hand she stood up staring down at him.

"What happened, why did it happen I come back from a job and our house is almost gone and you're a lush what has happened to our home and what the hell happened to you are you trying to tear our family apart because that's what is happening Remus what is wrong with you "stammered Tonks talking nonstop trying to make sense of all that had happened, as she was speaking she watched her husband try to stand and fall repeatedly to the floor.

" It's not that bad " slurred Remus looking up at her managing to crawl closer to her and taking her hand and as he did she felt more anger for him as she kneeled down helping him to his feet and to a nearby chair.

"' Remus this is serious our house, our home is gone I don't know how you did this, but you did and I don't think I can forgive you "said Tonks refusing to look at him as she walked around the counter into the kitchen.

"There was a full moon it could be worse "whispered Remus looking at her wanting her to look at him, but knowing he couldn't make her until she was ready.

" Remus this is worse it can't get any worse why can't you take this seriously if your little whore of a girlfriend walked in to her house and saw this what would she say " seethed Tonks finally looking at him beginning the fight they had started before she had left walking over to him and glaring at him murderously.

"Dora please "begged Remus continuing to sit there unsure what to say because he really didn't what to have this fight again.

"Tell me who she is "demanded Tonks coming to stand directly in front of him so close that he could feel her breath on his face even though she was still on the other side of the counter.

" Dora " pleaded Remus looking down at his hands as they laid on the counter not wanting to fight with her anymore, but knowing deep inside himself that she would not end the fight.

"Tell me Remus I have a right to know "seethed Tonks looking at him her face directly in his so close that their noses touched.

" No she isn't a whore or a slut or anything else you want to call her so just shut up " growled Remus standing and getting directly in her face grabbing Tonks by both arms and shaking her slightly.

Tonks looked at him for the first time since she had known him she was afraid of him she didn't know who the man in front of her was, but she was sure it wasn't the man she married.

" Remus " whispered Tonks looking up into his eyes and slowly he let her go not moving a muscle as he stood in front of her and in that moment neither knew what to say. Remus didn't say a word he only stared down at her and looking in her eyes he saw fear in them the one thing he hoped never to see and as he looked at the fear in her eyes he understood why it was there after what he had just done for the first time in a long time he felt like a monster.

"Dora I'm sorry for all of this please forgive me "said Remus not looking at her as he spoke instead looking down at his hands the hands which had almost hurt her.

"Yeah I know you've said that before, you said that when I confronted you about your girlfriend "cried Tonks wiping her tears away as quick as they come trying to hide them from him.

"Sorry isn't just something you say Remus you have to mean it "said Tonks looking at him hoping he didn't say another word because she was tired and she didn't want to spend another minute with him.

" Do you love her, do you even still love me " whispered Tonks moving closer to him she was just about to leave the room, but she couldn't stop herself from asking that question. After she asked that question she waited for him to answer, but an eerie silence surrounded them until finally she couldn't take it anymore she just continued to leave the kitchen moving down the hall to their bedroom and as she did this he was right behind her.

"Dora I don't know if I love her all I do know as far as she is concerned is I need her I'm lonely I'm always here by myself, but I don't know if I love her "whispered Remus stepping back just in time as she spun around her hand raised meaning to hit him, but instead her hand hit the wall.

"That's all you know Remus you don't know anything I wish I'd never married you "cried Tonks looking at him with hatred in her eyes before beginning to walk away again.

"I love you Dora please believe me when I say I love you "screamed Remus repeatedly as she walked away not stopping until he heard the door to their bedroom open and close with a slam. Tonks leaned her back against the closed door tears still streaming down her cheeks and as she cried as hard as she tried she couldn't tell herself why she was crying.

"Why Remus why did you have to do this to me "sobbed Tonks falling to the floor.

" Why Remus what happened to you, what happened to us " cried Tonks rocking back and forth on the floor as she spoke trying to control herself, but finding she couldn't in that moment all she wanted to do was cry. Tonks cried herself to sleep and when she woke up she found herself on the bed, but she couldn't remember how she got there, but in that moment she didn't care she stared into the darkness suddenly she heard the front door slam and she knew either Remus and returned from somewhere or he had left and in that moment she didn't care which one it was.

"He's probably going to see his whore "cried Tonks burying her head in the pillow seeing their wedding picture as it sat on the night stand.

" That lousy bastard " screamed Tonks picking the picture up as she spoke and throwing it across the room hearing the frame break with a crack. She laid there in the darkness she wanted to cry some more, but she had ran out of tears a long time ago and so now she just laid there thinking and the more she thought the less she blamed on Remus and the more she blamed on himself remembering his words from before about being lonely. Deep down she could understand his feelings their marriage was not what it used to be she wasn't home as much as she used to be she was the ministries top auror and that came with a lot of sacrifices and now one of those sacrifices was her husband she had run him straight into the arms of another woman. She knew that she was gone so much that Remus had basically become a single parent, she had even had to correct people who thought him unmarried or a widower and looking back at it now she realized their sex life was basically nonexistent.

Suddenly Tonks found she wasn't just mad at Remus anymore she was also mad at herself it wasn't his entire fault she could have stopped all this from happening if she hadn't been so blind. If she had been a better wife, a better lover he wouldn't have needed another woman, but because she was so blind Remus now found everything he needed from this mystery woman and because of her Tonks knew she had made him love another.

" He loves her he can deny it all he wants, but I know he loves her " whispered Tonks to herself rolling over as she spoke and wrapping her arms around herself knowing that she had lost the one man she loved the only man she would ever love.

" He did say he still loves me too " breathed Tonks wanting to find a silver lining somewhere even though she knew it was hopeless and it was that hope that was in her heart when she drifted off to sleep again. The slam of the door woke her up again looking at the clock she saw it was a little after four in the morning and closing her eyes she knew Remus was back.

From the sound of it Remus was even drunker then before and she could hear him tearing their home apart though she wasn't sure if he could destroy it anymore then he'd already done, but she cried anyway as she listened to him do it.

" Oh god I don't want to hear it anymore " sobbed Tonks listening to the sound of her husband tearing their home apart taking a pillow and covering her head trying to cover the sounds she was hearing continuing to cry until she fell asleep. As she slept the run came up and deep inside herself Tonks was thinking of the one good thing she still had in her life her son Teddy as long as she had him she knew everything would be alright.

" Teddy can't come home to this " said Tonks when she woke up finally the clock said nine and looking around she expected the door to be broke and for Remus to still be destroying the house, but all was silent, but still in that moment Teddy was the only thing on her mind and she couldn't bring him back here. Tonks didn't know what she was going to do at first, but getting out of bed she made her way to the bathroom feeling the ache of everything that had happened in every muscle and bone of her body.

"I don't want to go out there "whispered Tonks her hands on either side of the sink looking into the mirror not recognizing the image of herself she saw. Her face was stained with tears she looked so much older than she was and she was so pale almost deathly pale.

" That can't be me " breathed Tonks looking away down into the sink turning the faucet on and splashing water onto her face hoping to wash away the sadness that covered her face. After washing the sadness of her life from her face Tonks picked out her clothes and took a long hot shower and as she stood in the water she felt her body becoming strong again and she felt like herself again for just a second and when she got out and dressed she looked in the mirror and she smiled because she looked like herself again except her eyes where still red a sign of all the tears she had shed. She didn't want anyone to know she had been crying so looking at herself she watched with a smile as the red started to fade away until she looked normal as if nothing had happened as if her life wasn't over.

When she finally found the courage to leave the bedroom Tonks found the whole house destroyed beyond repair.

" It's all broken " whispered Tonks as she walked through her house finding everything broken or shattered to pieces and entering the kitchen she found Remus there passed out on the floor. Remus lay on his stomach on the kitchen floor liquor bottles surrounded him and from the look of it he lay in a mess of his own vomit it went from his hair all the way to his shirt. Shaking her head Tonks walked out of the kitchen and out of the house as quickly as possible she didn't want to spend another moment there.

" Goodbye Remus ' said Tonks as she walked away from the house thinking to herself that she would not look back and she would never return that house wasn't her home anymore all she wanted in that moment was her son and she never wanted to have to go through this type of hell again.