Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.

A/N: this is just a one shot unless you all think it should continue.

Olivia walked into the cribs. She seen him laying there on the cot. He looked so peaceful.

She almost didn't want to wake him up.

But she had to. She had to tell him. She had waited long enough.

She walked over and sat on the edge of the cot.

"Elliot," she whispered.

He stirred in his sleep.

"Elliot, wake up, there is something I need to tell you." She said lightly nudging his arm.

His eyes fluttered open. "what is it was there a break in the case?" he said in a low voice.

"No not yet, but there is something I have to tell you."

"What is it is there something wrong?" he asked concerned. He sat up and looked her in the eyes.

"I have been hiding this for a long time. I know that this is not the time or place for this, but I finally have the guts to do it, so here goes nothing. Elliot I love you."

Elliot looked taken back. "What? Liv I... I'm married."

Just then Fin busted in the cribs, "hey, whoa I'm not interrupting am I?"

"Umm no, whats up?" Olivia said breaking the eye contact with Elliot.

"Well we just got a break in the case a witness seen Olivia's plea on the news. They said that they don't want to testify but at least they have good info."

"Ok why aren't you down there?" Olivia asked.

"She only wanna talk to you baby-girl."

"Ok ill be right down."

"Ok ill have it all set up." Fin walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.

"Can we finish this later?" Elliot asked.

"Why Elliot like you said you are married." Olivia stood up and walked out of the room.

Elliot just sat there. Befuddled. What just happened? He asked himself. Why would she just say that? She knows that I am married. I do love her. I would love to have a relationship with her. But I am married. I could never do that to my wife. I could never do that to her. She deserves better than to be the other woman. I love her too much to put her in that situation. How am I going to just pretend that never happened? Should I just let it go? Should I just wait until she comes to me with this again? Or should I show her that I love her too? Should I show her what she means to me? Should I just tell her that it will never be anything because of my wife? Should I leave my wife? No, I cant leave my wife. She is my wife. I love her too. But I love Olivia on a whole different level than Kathy. I married Kathy young. Too young. I have kids I have to worry about. What if I leave Kathy and my kids are kept from me? What if she moves away? Her mom lives in South Carolina what if she moves there? What if she takes them and I never see them again? But what if I don't follow through with Olivia and she never finds true happiness? What if she is alone just because I married the wrong woman? What if me and Kathy never are truly happy? We fight all the time now as it is. What if that doesn't change and we get divorced then I would have lost both of the women I love. Granted I love Olivia more. I think that I love her more because we know each other in ways that I could never express to Kathy. Elliots mind raced a hundred miles a minute.

Elliot walked out of the room and down the steps to the cribs.

Olivia was walking out of the interrogation room. "Come on I know where he is."

"Ok."

XXX

In the car there was tension so thick it was hard to breathe.

"Elliot," Olivia spoke first.

"Liv, listen," he started. "you caught me off guard earlier. I just want you to know that I love you. I cant help it. I don't want to love you the way that I do because I'm married and I know that in the long run you will just get hurt. I want things to be different I really do. But I cant leave my wife. I know that we aren't the perfect couple. But you have to understand. I love her. I'm not in love with her any more and it is hard to live with someone and to be married to someone when you don't love them the way that I love you. I want to be with you Liv. I want us to have the family and life I thought I was going to have when I married Kathy. But things don't always go the way that they should. I should be with you and I know that we will be. I know that in my heart. I know that we are going to be together one way or another. I know that you deserve better than what I would put you through trying to be with you while I am still married to Kathy. I just want you to know that I do love you and you deserved better than the reaction you got earlier. I should have told you all of this instead of just telling you that it would never happen. I love you and I want to be with you. I know that I shouldn't and I almost wish I didn't because our road is not going to be an easy one we have a lot to worry about and a lot to figure out. And I am going to leave Kathy. I am going to leave her and I'm going to make sure that she cant take my kids and run. That is all that I am worried about Liv, my kids. I want to be there for them and that is going to be harder than filing for divorce. I don't want you to feel like you are the reason that this is going to happen because that is not the case. I am doing this because I am not happy I am not happy with the way that my life is going. And I know that if I am with you then my life will be much better. I am truly sorry for the way that it all happened earlier you should hate me for being such an ass. I do love you and I hope you can see it." Elliot said as they pulled up. "are you ok?" he said looking at Olivia who was crying.

"I never meant to love you Elliot. I never wanted to have you leave your wife. I don't want you to do it because of me. I love you I really do. But if I'm going to be a home-wrecker then I would rather you not leave her. I don't want this to happen like this."

"It's not. I love you and I'm leaving her because I don't love her the way that I should. The fact that I even thought about divorce means that this is nothing about you Liv. Me and Kathy have our problems. Me and Kathy have serious problems. And most of them are because of what I do. She cant handle it. I'm not going to stop doing what I love to do, what I'm good at and what makes this world a better place because she is angry that I cant talk to her about it. When I don't talk to her about it so that I can protect her. I love my wife Olivia. But I don't love her like I should. I don't love her the way that a husband should love his wife. I want to be with you. I have loved you for a long time. I just didn't say anything because I was married and I didn't know if you felt the same way. Now that I know how you feel all that is holding me back is a loveless marriage. And there is no reason that should anymore."

"Elliot I'm just confused."

"Why are you confused?"

"Because one minute you are telling me that you cant be with me because you are married and the next minute you are telling me that you are leaving your wife so that we can be together. You wouldn't let me talk. I have more to say. I have a reason for wanting to tell you today. I have a place I want this to go this wasn't just a random thing there is a reason that it is happening the way that it is. And I want to tell you."

"What is it Liv?"

"Will you just stop interrupting me? Damn it El," she said still crying and raising her voice at the same time. "i told you today because I wanted to make sure I told you before I put in my papers."

"What?!" Elliot exclaimed.

"There you go interrupting again. I'm going to be transferring to the F.B.I's BAU. I got the call a week ago and I told them that we were working on a case and to let me make the decision and I would have an answer when the case closed. I haven't called them yet. No one knows but you and Don that I even have the opportunity. And the only reason he knows that is because he is the one that put in the request call. He said that he got a call from them. They wanted to know if there was anyone from our unit that could he could think of that would be a good fit. He said there was only one person he could think of that would do the job justice and gave them my name. You are the only person at this time that knows that I have decided to take the offer. I haven't told Don yet because I just decided this myself. When I walked into the cribs earlier and I got the reaction from you that I did I knew that there was nothing to keep me here anymore. I know that you love me. When you said the words I felt the truth, but like you said you are married you have a life you have kids that you have to worry about. I'm not Kathy. I could never have that life. And I would never want you to give up what you stand for for me. You are a family man. And it would go against everything for you to be with me. I don't want that. I would love to have a relationship with you Elliot. And I know that we should be together. But I want you to be happy and I want to be happy maybe this is what we both need. I cant do this. I cant have you give up your life for me. As much as I love you and as much as I feel you love me I know that we would never work. I'm taking the job and there is nothing that could change my mind. Now we have a case to close so that I can go home and start packing. Please lets just get this dirt bag and go home." she opened the car door and got out. She wiped her tears away before shutting the door.

Elliot met her at the door to the apartment that the suspect lived at. She knocked twice and held her hand on her gun holster.

A little old woman opened the door.

"Mrs. Gregman is your grandson home?" Elliot said.

"No can I ask what this is about?" She said soft and sweetly. But her eyes gave another answer. She kept looking back in the house.

Olivia seen what the woman was doing. "Do you know where he might be?"

"The last time is seen him was around nine this morning." The woman said. The she mouthed the words, "in the kitchen with a gun."

"Ok Mrs. Gregman thank you." Olivia and Elliot drew their guns and proceeded past the woman into the house.

The woman shut the door. And walked over to Olivia.

"He is right in there." she whispered and pointed down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Is there any other way to the kitchen besides that door there?" Olivia whispered as low as possible.

"There is another door through this way." Mrs. Gregman responded.

"Is there a back door?" Elliot chimed in with another whisper.

"Yes but it is boarded up."

"There is no way that he can get out?"

"No not unless he gets back through here."

"Ok Mrs. Gregman I'm going to need you to go upstairs and hide in the bedroom with the door shut ok?" Olivia whispered. "And don't come out for anything. I want you to take this and call 9-1-1 and tell them the location and I want you to let them know that there are two detectives from Manhattan SVU here requesting back up can you do that?" Olivia said almost silently as she handed the lady a cell phone.

The woman nodded and did as she was told.

Olivia and Elliot proceeded farther toward the kitchen. Elliot took the main entrance and Olivia took the entrance that Mrs, Gregman pointed out. Elliot had no visual due to the swinging door. And Olivia had full visual.

Sampson Gregman was standing by the counter with a gun in his hand. Olivia, with her gun still drawn relinquished cover. She had her gun pointed right at Gregman.

"Sampson I am Olivia Benson and I just want to talk to you. Put the gun down and we wont have any problems."

Elliot peeked through the swinging door and seen that Sampson now had his gun pointed at Olivia.

"I didn't want to." Sampson said crying.

Sampson was a small man about 5'8" and 130 lbs. He was only 23 years old.

"Sampson I don't care right now what you did I just want to talk about it." Olivia said trying to calm him down.

"I hurt that little girl."

"Sampson we can talk about this but right now I have a lot of police officers on their way and none of them are going to want to talk. Now I really don't want them to have to hurt you. Please put the gun down. Lets do this like adults."

"I deserve to be punished. I deserve to die for what I did."

"Listen Sampson the guns are making me a little nervous if you put your gun down and slide it to me I can put my gun down too. I really want to put my gun down Sampson help me out please."

Sampson lowered his gun, but did not put it down and slide it to Olivia. "I cant I have to end this. I have to be punished for what I did to her."

"Sampson it hurts I know that but please don't hurt anyone else just put the gun down and slide it to me."

"STOP SAYING THAT!" Sampson screamed pointing the gun back at Olivia.

"Ok ill stop but please let me help you I cant help you as long as you have the gun in your hands. Sampson I really want to help you."

"Why do you want to help me. Do you know what I did to her?"

"We can talk about it but Sampson why don't we go down town and talk about it?"

"I ain't going anywhere. I'm going to die right here where that little girl died. Right here where I killed her I'm going to kill myself." Sampson raised the gun to his head.

"Sampson look I'm going to put my gun away. Ok? If I put my gun away can we talk then?"

"I don't want to talk. I don't deserve to talk. I didn't let her talk. I had her gagged. I had her gagged and she couldn't hardly breath."

Olivia put her gun away. "Look I put my gun away ok. Fine if you don't want to talk then we wont talk but I think that it is fair that you at least put the gun down."

Olivia was looking at the other entrance to the kitchen where Elliot stood on the other side of the door.

"Sampson my partner is just on the other side of that door now I don't have a gun but he does. So I want you to put the gun down. I don't want to have to call him in here."

Sampson took the gun from his head and pointed it at Olivia. "I cant go to jail." And he fired.

Olivia's eyes widened and she grabbed her abdomen. She looked at her hands and seen blood. She then fell to the floor.

Elliot barged through the door. He shot Sampson in the chest. And quickly slid the gun across the floor and ran to Olivia. "Liv, baby come on stay with me. Stay with me baby come on you can do it." He grabbed the walkie off his belt, held the button and screamed into it. "Officer down I need a bus at 1235 east 5th street. I repeat officer down. Also a wounded suspect. I need a bus. I repeat I need a bus." He threw the walkie to the floor and began to apply pressure to Olivia's wound. "Liv, don't do this stay with me." Tears began to fall from Elliot's eyes.

"Elliot." Olivia choked. "I...I..."

"Shhh its ok baby its ok you are going to be ok just stay with me." He held her there in his arms, applying pressure with one hand and brushing her hair with the other. Tears were gushing from his eyes. "I love you Olivia and I'm sorry that it has to be like this. It can be better just stay with me baby please stay with me."

Just then the paramedics ran in and Elliot jumped out of the way. And let them do their thing. They rushed her onto the gurney and out the door. He ran behind. He watched them load her into the ambulance and slowly seen the life he loved so dearly slipping away.

A/N: well there you have it... this was just something that once I started I couldn't stop thinking about... I hope that you all enjoyed reading it because it was a blast to write... I started to cry... how silly is that... well I have a couple ideas I could keep this going but it is entirely up to you if you want more then you can either review and let me know what you think or p/m me either way is cool... please review :)

with much love,

lovemelikesnapelovedlilyALWA YS