"Hi, welcome to McDonalds! How may I take your order?" I asked, suppressing a laugh.

"Hi, can I get a McDouble with Ketchup only please?"

"I don't know, can you?"

Silence.

"First window please." I said and burst into laughter. This was going to be fun.

The woman pulled up to the window, giving me an evil glare. "Hi.' She said, emotionless. Rather than grabbing her disgusting human food, I leaned outside the window and rested on my arms.

"How are you?" I asked her, smiling.

Her eyes widened. "Er…"

"What's an Er?" I asked. "I've never been Er before…"

"Can I just get my food?" the woman asked impatiently. When I didn't move, she became angrier. "I have an important meeting!" she barked.

I turned around, and grabbed the food that the cooks had busily produced. The lady eyed me suspiciously as I handed it to her.

"Don't let the bugs bite!" I smiled as she speed off.

Another order came through.

"Hello, Welcome to the land of greasy, fattening food, how may I take your order?"

There was silence once again. Couldn't anyone take a joke?

"Hello?" a woman asked. Why did so many women want to eat here?

"Hi!" I smiled cheerfully. "How may I take your order?"

"Uh, can I get three large fries, a Bigmac and uh… two diet cokes please?" the poor woman asked.

"Damn, that's a lot of food!" I beamed. One of the cooks eyed me funny, and then went back to cooking.

"Excuse me?" the woman asked.

"That will be 13.75 at the fifth window." I said casually.

"What?"

I said nothing.

"There's no fifth window…" the woman said.

I took the microphone thingy off of my shirt and put it up close to my mouth. "I love you…" I whispered.

"What?" she asked.

I attached the microphone back where it belonged and prepared for the next order. Damn this place smelt disgusting.

When the lady pulled up to the window, she gave me a glare. "Can I speak to your manager?" she asked bitterly.

"Yeah, just one sec." I said and began to take a man's order. He wanted two twenty piece chicken nugget meals, and pepsi.

"Okay, do you want fries with that?" I asked.

"Nope." He answered.

"You sure? I hear the fries here are good." I said. The impatient woman sat in her car, eyeing me with a confused look. I reached over and grabbed the contents of her order and handed it to her.

"No sir, I don't want fries." The man said politely.

"Please? Do it for me…?" I begged.

"I don't want fries." The man answered back, growing impatient.

The woman in the car grew angrier. She threw her hand up, losing patience. I tossed my hand up, blowing her off. She hissed angrily and sped off.

"Please! Please get fries! For me?" I begged the man to get fries.

"Fine, I will." The man caved. I had to rip the microphone from my shirt so he didn't hear me burst in laughter.

Now two cooks eyed me curiously, wondering what my deal was. I held my hand up to my ear in a "phone" symbol and mouthed the words "Call me." The winked.

One man turned away, looking as If he would throw up. The other just stared.

When the man came to the window, he watched me cautiously.

"Here you go." I said, handing him his food. He sat it in the seat beside him and pulled the gear into drive. An idea hit me right as he began to leave.

"Wait!" I said. He turned to me with a confused look.

"Thanks for getting those fries. I've been thinking about you all day." I smiled at him. He gave me a disgusted look and rushed away just as the previous humans had.

I picked up my microphone from the ground and pinned it to my shirt.

"HELLO?" A woman demanded, probably trying to get my attention for a while now.

"Yes?" I asked her.

"It sure did take you a while to respond!" she beamed.

"Okay, and would you like honey mustard or regular mustard with that?" I asked her.

"I haven't ordered yet!" she yelled.

"Alright, that will be 18.64 at the first window." I said happily.

"I haven't even ordered yet!" she screamed.

"Oh baby you… you got what I need…." I sang into the microphone. Suddenly the manager approached me and tapped me on the shoulder.

"You busy?' he asked. I could hear the woman screaming through the mic.

"Nope." I shrugged.

"There's a woman at the front counter treated poorly when trying to order." The manager said.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, there must have been a miscommunication between us. I'll work on it." I said.

"Look, I understand it's your first day on the job, but you can't say rude things to people…" he said worriedly.

"K" I winked and went back to the screaming lady.

"Hi, welcome to Burger King, where you can have it your way." I said in a dirty voice. Suddenly the woman rushed through the rest of the driveway, forgetting her order.

"Hello!" I said to the next person. "Can I get a McDouble and two medium fries please? Oh, what the heck! I've been doing good- can I get a SUPERSIZED chocolate shake please?" I asked.

"What?" it sounded like a teenage boy. "Bro, I'm ordering, not you."

"Oh yeah." I said.

He ordered a few hamburgers, and then I gave him the total. "Fourth window please." I said casually. When he got to the window, he was laughing. "Bro! I totally fell for that!" he laughed. "I was just sitting there and-"

"My, my you are delicious!" I said to him and licked my lips. He froze and watched me. The other teenage boy beside him cracked a smile. I made the sound of a purring cat and he just sat there, frozen.

I handed him the bag of burgers.

"Bye honey!" I said in a girly voice as the boy's friend burst into laughter.

"Hey welcome to McDonalds, where you can get a nice ass-slapping. What can I get you?" I asked.

"Oh hell no!" a sharp, high-pitched voice beamed. I froze immediately as I realized it was Rosalie's voice. Suddenly, I heard a car racing up to the first window.

I ducked onto the ground.

"Emmett, what the hell are you doing?' she shrieked angrily.

I stayed where I was. All of the cooks were watching me now. I bit my lip and gave them a shy smile, then bated my eyelashes.

"Emmett, give it up. I can hear your repulsive thoughts clearly." Edward called from the car.

Crap. I suddenly sat up and leaned out of the window.

"Hey sexy stuff, you want a McMuffin, my muffin?" I asked, dancing my eye brows once gain.

"Get. In. The. Car." She growled, a stern look on her face. It was that look… That look. It scared the living hell out of me.

I suddenly jumped out of the McDonalds window, tossed my microphone and McDonalds shirt back into the restaurant and then sat in the back of the BMW.

"Thank god you came here when you did, that place smelled like your feet, babe."I joked smirking as I saw her eyes widening in the review mirror.

Rosalie turned around and screamed at me "Just what the hell are you doing?" she yelled. Edward snorted, trying not to laugh.

Rosalie turned to him. "This is not funny!" she yelled.

The whole way home, I got a speech on how Alice saw me working here, and how Rose had to leave a manicure to come and get me. I had to hear all about how stupid I was and how she needs to start keeping a closer eye on me. By the end of it, I'd heard the words, dumbass, childish, impulsive, dumbass, ignorant, dumbass, repulsive, idiotic, dumbass again, even some words that I wouldn't dare say in front of Bella; not with Edward there that is. He growled at that one.

Once we arrived home, I sat in the seat in silence. I wasn't making a move until Rosalie got out of the car. So we just sat there.

"Worth it?' I suggested, pushing it.

"No!" Rosalie yelled, growling. She leaped out of the car out of the car and ran back into the house, her high heels stomping the entire way in.

Edward turned to me, shaking my head. "Your boredom truly amazes me." He chuckled. He stepped from the car and followed Rose in.

"Emmett, get in here!" Rosalie yelled from inside, obviously not finished with her awful speech.

"Coming my muffin!" I said sweetly. I paused for a second.

"Totally worth it." I grinned.

Authors Note: This is my first one-shot, but don't let that affect the way you review, I want honesty whether it's good or bad so I know how to improve. However, if I get enough positive reviews, I'll make a part two. Perhaps making Emmett a hair stylist! XD Thanks for reading, it means a lot! Reviews are deeply appreciated! =)