Yes, I know. 'WHY ARE YOU WORKING O NTHIS ONE INSTEAD OF CHILD'S PLAY ARE YOU MENTAL ARGHAGRGARGHAR /foam' calm down, Slendearest. My explanation is this. I've written myself into a tough spot with that, and I can't seem to find my muse for it yet. When I find my muse, I will continue. However, I had an idea that might possibly get my muse back. It's not guaranteed, but at least it's entertaining.
So I've decided I would write a few pages of what would be 'bloopers' 'gag reels' and 'outtakes', as if this writing was being shot as a movie. Keep in mind that all characters in this are completely OOC, and this probably wouldn't ever actually happen. Ever. So, without further ado… here comes the silliness.
~ Panties
"Scene one, Toy Soldiers, take 3!" The director calls, a lady known as Miss Slenderpanties. As you might imagine, she always wore panties that had something to do with the so-called 'Slenderman'. Today she'd chosen to wear stark black ones, with the words 'Come Closer' written on the back, and the Slenderman symbol on the front. In fact, besides them, there was nothing else on her legs. No pants. Simply a pair of black uggs on her feet, while on her chest she had a white blouse, black vest, and black tie. Wonderful.
"Places!" She called, grinning and hopping up on her chair as the cameras took their place, the actors and actresses following suit. Timidly, the red-haired child looked up at the director. "You'll be fine, sweetie." Ron smiled, ruffling her hair. A smile made its way onto the young one's face. "Okay!" She giggled.
"Aaaaaand….. ACTION!" The director shouted. The scene began, and the director's eyes watched like a hawk as the scene went on. Samuel came running out, waving the paper in his hand. So far so good. Now it was time for the ju- BANG!
Sam's foot caught on the door of the car, and completely ruined the scene. When Alex started laughing, so did the rest of the cast and crew. But Miss Slenderpanties was there in her chair, drumming her fingers in annoyance.
\/\/\/\/
"Scene two, Toy Soldiers, take one!" Rang the lady-director's voice. Ron Witwicky's car pulled into Bobby Bolivia's, it wasn't long before Sam pulled his sister out and set her down on the pavement, then moved with his father to begin talking about virgin cars. The cameras followed Alexandria as she had her first encounter with Bumblebee, the rusty Camaro.
Microphones faintly picked up the sound of Sam and Ron arguing over cars, a camera moved slowly around Alexandria, before moving a bit higher as she started to climb onto Bumblebee's hood. Her foot slipped on his bumper, and she squeaked in surprise, putting her hands out and barely escaping hurting herself. "Oop!" She giggled, patting the hood as Sam and Ron quieted down.
"Sorry 'bee!" She giggled. The car rolled around a bit, and Bumblebee twittered and beeped. The crew was quick to start laughing, and one of the cameras moved to look at Ron and Sam. They glanced between one another, before at the two. "What just happened? I didn't see anything!" Sam protested. Miss Slenderpanties sighed and shook her head. "Let's try that again. Cameras!"
The cameramen's laughter slowly died down. Still with grins on their faces, they reset the cameras, and Alex slid off of Bumblebee, going back to join her brother. "Take two - ACTION!" Panties calls once more, eyes carefully watching the scene once more.
Sam and Ron once again argued for a bit, before Alex began wandering away, cameras following her. The microphones near the two men drifted back a bit to create the effect of different voices. Panties leaned forward in her chair, watching Alexandria as she climbed atop Bumblebee. The car shivered lightly under her, and the scene continued, the director happily watching as things unfolded.
Sam slid inside of the Camaro, in the driver's side. Miss Slenderpanties raised an eyebrow as she saw that Alex was hiding a smirk. She had to be up to something. When Sam slid his thumb over the Autobot symbol, suddenly, Bumblebee honked – loudly. Sam's reaction was pure gold. He shrieked like a little girl, hit his head on the roof, and scrambled out of the car. Alex was dying with laughter, and Bumblebee transformed, laughing as well. "Very funny!" Sam shouted, his voice cracking.
Panties couldn't help but to laugh herself. Although it probably meant the end of shooting for the day, Sam had probably screamed so loud and girly that he strained his voice. They'd barely even started, too. "Alright, alright. Fine. That's a wrap for today, guys. I don't think Sam's gonna be able to use his voice for a while. We'll try again tomorrow," Panties chuckled, hopping off her chair and walking in the direction of her trailer. She needed a coffee.
\/\/\/\/
Miss Slenderpanties walked along the set, clipboard in hand. She was looking over it intently, glancing at the set every now and then. She looked up when she heard the sound of Optimus laughing. Panties turned around to see Alex sitting on his knee and talking to him. The director raised an eyebrow at them, placing a hand on her hip. Optimus' laughing quieted down and he smiled sheepishly at her. Alex turned to look.
"Sorry." The prime smiled. The director shrugged and turned around as they continued their conversation – but quieter. Panties continued to wander around the set, making sure everything was in place. Before long, she had gone to see Bumblebee, sitting atop his hood. "You're alright for this one? You feel okay?" She asked, tilting her head and patting the hood. The Camaro twittered in response, bouncing on his wheels a bit. "I'm glad to hear it. We'll be shooting soon, so don't go anywhere, alright? Just sit here and chill." The director said, before sliding off. She'd noticed that she didn't hear Optimus and Alexandria anymore.
Curious, she looked up to the spot they had been. Neither of the two were there. Shrugging, the director continued on, moving to the next set to check it out and make sure there were no problems. Looking around the Witwicky house, she deemed everything fine. Everything was in place. Now just to check the outside.
Nearly as soon as she stepped into the backyard, Miss Slenderpanties had an abnormally large cake dropped on her, splattering all over. The director could hear Alex laughing her ass off from above. Unamused, the director looked up, to see the young redhead in the hand of Optimus. An emotionless sigh came from Panties, and she wiped cake off her face, glaring up at the two.
"Oop…. Uhh… I think we should go!" Alexandria said quickly, tapping Optimus. Immediately getting the message, the Prime smiled apologetically, before fleeing the scene. Panties looked back down at her clipboard, wiping cake and icing off it. Completely ruined. With a groan of frustration, the director threw the clipboard down and stomped off to her trailer. "SOMEONE GET ME A MOCHA... AND CLEAN UP THAT MESS!"
Little had Miss Slenderpanties known, but a camera that had been set up earlier to record the takes for Toy Soldiers had been rolling, and caught the whole thing.
\/\/\/\/
Her revenge had been swift, and so the director had been satisfied. Once the prime and Alex had cleaned themselves of… well. Let's not get into the whole thing…
Once they had been cleaned off, Alexandria had been sent to her position to shoot with Sam and Bumblebee, and Optimus and the rest of the Autobots hung back. The first few takes had been disastrous. Miss Slenderpanties had THOUGHT that she had told the crew specifically to block off the road so that they wouldn't cause any trouble, but does anyone listen to the director? NoooOOOOoo!
Although, they finally had the scene go exactly as planned, and so the director called a wrap. Everyone was sent home for the day. The only problem now, was to do the rest of the fucking movie. And the director really didn't want to, seeing as how no one seemed to want to cooperate.
But oh well. What can you expect from a bunch of giant robots, a six – or was it seven? – year old, and her clumsy brother?