Head Over High Heels
A LietPol fanfic

I was shocked, needless to say. I suppose I passed out hours ago, because I couldn't remember anything at that time besides a foggy memory. I passed out hours ago, and when I woke up, I found myself in a foreign room. It was so unlike mine, so I quickly noticed the difference and freaked out. At first I thought it was the hospital, because everything was so white, but then I saw a few pieces of (bo-ring!) furniture, and I heard Toris' voice so I thought it had to be his room. Well, duh, it was his room. I think we've established that a few minutes ago. No shit, Sherlock! I'm just gonna throw this in, but I think his room seriously needs a makeover. But not then, I was clearly occupied back then, what with woozily lying down on his bed, unable to put two thoughts together to make sense. Your terrible room is spared, Toris, but one day, the interior-design-police will get you. One day. Anyway.

"Toris?" I frowned a bit and tried to take a better look at his face. He looked a bit worried and like he was quite drained of energy. Maybe not as much as I had when I fainted, but still a lot.

"Feliks!" He smiled a bit tiredly, looking relieved to see me awake. "You've been out for, like, a day and a half." My eyes grew wide in disbelief. I thought only a few hours have passed, like, four or five; not more than twelve! I groaned, really annoyed at myself. I would have missed work now, and it's a crisis at work. Mr. Vargas would not have been pleased.

I leaned to my side, looking for my handbag, but I remembered I didn't really go here voluntarily so I didn't know where Toris had placed it. I was kinda surprised at how I trusted him so easily.

"Where's my bag...?" I groaned sleepily. Toris handed me the cream tote with a few fake rhinestones attached to the bag's corner. Don't judge me; it's not like I would have actually been able to afford something with real crystals.

I checked my phone: seven missed calls from Lili, two from Feli. Lili must have been worried sick, and I guess her brother wouldn't have left her there in a flat all alone. I began to call Lili first, hoping to ease her worries.

"Lili Zwingli, speaking. Feliks?" Moments later, her cute, high but gentle voice sounded through the phone. I instantly smiled, as if she could actually see me.

"Hey. Lili. Sorry for not coming home last night. Ooor, for actually going out of the house in the middle of the night without telling you. Had a work crisis, then an accident yesterday and now I'm at a friend's house, recovering."

She gasped, "Oh gosh, are you okay? What happened? I hope you didn't break anything—"

"It's fine; I just fainted, so yeah. Good thing my friend was there." I couldn't help but smile more at the girl's worrying voice. "Is Vash still there?"

"Yeah, he said he'll be in town for a few more days, before going to the west coast for some business. Not really sure." Great. The grumpy chocolate mountain goat yodeler is gonna stay longer. Not even sure where I got that half-assed insulting nickname from.

I faked a happy demeanour, "Ah, that's nice, I really like having him over."

"Really? I'm glad to hear that; my brother likes having you around, as well." I felt a pang of guilt; does he really? Then the whole time I have been a total ass if I acted that way towards him, not knowing that he likes me more than he lets on.

I assured Lili that I'm all right and that I'll be back later or tomorrow, depending on my condition, before she let me hung up.

Toris was smiling at me warmly, watching me the whole time. That was quite creepy, but I didn't really mind.

"Hey, um, like, thanks." I looked at him sheepishly, then I decided it was harder to look at him while I express my gratitude; I'm not exactly a person who'd go through all lengths to thanking someone. "I'm really glad you were there, I would have been a total goner if you weren't. So yeah, I owe you bigtime."

"It's no problem at all; I'm glad I found you and was able to help you. I really like helping people in need. It kinda makes me feel better about myself." Toris laughed, but I could sense that he was thinking about something else deeper.

I peered at him more closely, an eyebrow arched in questioning. "Better about yourself? What do you mean?"

"Dunno. I just feel like, I don't really have any extra-ordinary qualities or talents, abilities or whatever. I compensate for the values and goodwill that I have." He shrugged, as if the whole 'I don't have any extra-ordinary whatevers' was no big deal to him. It couldn't be something so easy, right? Accepting that you're too ordinary for this world and that you're not someone special to catch anyone's eye? It can't be no big deal.

"You just watch me. I'll get to know you better and I'll find out aaaaaaall the good qualities in you, all your talents, your abilities and all the good little things. I know you're really nice and special and don't you dare say otherwise." I huffed resolutely with a stern tone.

His cheeks turned slightly pink. "Surely there is no need for flattery? You don't really have to, Feliks." He chuckled good-naturedly.

"Ah, but I want to." And that was that.

I'm not sure where I stand with Toris. We've been on a few dates since our first one. I guess I didn't really bother recounting them, since now I've been busier than before.

Once, we went walking around the park, another time, in a theme park, and another in a night carnival-slash-amusement park. So... Four dates in total. Not bad. But I still don't know where we stand.

Toris never struck me as a person who went around dating a lot. In fact, he gave me the impression that he hasn't dated all that much in his life. Kinda sad, but hey, you can't have all the chicks (or in his case, androgynous cross-dressing gay guys).

So I asked him.

Okay, you might think that was a bold move and that I either deserved a nice whacking on the head or a round of applause, but seriously, it wasn't that hard for me to ask. That part surprised me though. How it had come so easy to me.

"Toris, are you my boyfriend?"

He was drinking coffee, and I half-expected that he would comically spray a mouthful of latte all over the café table. We were both on our breaks. We spend increasingly more time together. Does that count?

He didn't really do as expected, but he looked at me from his mobile with bewildered eyes. "What?" And at once, I felt so stupid for asking. Is it something you don't normally ask? "I'm sorry, wasn't it obvious? Am... Am I not doing a good-enough job of being your boyfriend?" He stammered, looking panicked. Was he worried about it the whole time?

I laughed. "Oh gosh, Toris!" So he was, indeed, my boyfriend! "I was just... making sure. Of course you've been doing a good job — a really good job, in fact. Also, being my boyfriend isn't a job, you know? You needn't worry." I wouldn't admit to him now that I was getting quite insecure and doubtful, because in my defence, I was never formally asked to be his... girl... boy... friend? Damn, I'm having another gender-crisis moment. I need to address that problem soon.

"O-oh, well, I'm relieved you think so." He smiled. I leaned over the table to peck his cheek and Toris blushed, cheeks turning pink. I always end up forgetting that he was never one for public displays of affection, but he never got in a hissy because of it.

"How long have we been together, though?"

"...A month... Or so?"

I tried to remember but my head just hurt by trying. It's okay, I never really cared about celebrating every monthly anniversary we have. Although, I have come to a conclusion that we have started dating on the second week of September.

I smiled to myself, getting this fluttery feeling. I may not care for those 'happy first month together' kind of shit, but I still feel all fluttery inside when I'm reminded that I've had a boyfriend since the second week of September. Wow. A boyfriend. A really nice one at that. I really felt happy about that, thankful even. There was just one problem.

"Help."

Liz, Mei, Feli, Angelique, Lili and I were all sitting around a table in some really nice cake café that just recently opened. The owner is Angelique's second (or was it third?) cousin, Matthew Williams. Critically-acclaimed patisserie owner, blah blah blah. All I care about is that he makes good dessert and that's it.

I suddenly just said the word 'help', and everybody stopped talking to look at me. They were in varying degrees of confusion and worry, but I just stared at them with a frown.

"Um, help about what?" Liz asked, a bit concerned.

I have just come to a realisation, after almost a month and a half of dating, Toris has missed one tiny detail on our relationship.

"He, Toris I mean, hasn't... told me he loves me. Not even once."

The group gasped quite loudly, turning a few heads from other tables. "A-are you sure? Maybe he has but you just missed it or didn't hear?" Angelique tried, but I shook my head insistently.

"He really hasn't. Maybe he's told me he likes me, maybe once or twice, complimented me about things a few times but he's never told me he loves me! Or... Or even kissed me properly for that matter!" I exclaimed defiantly, and the girls stared in horror.

"Kissed you properly?" Feli looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"He kisses like he's always not sure, just a peck, a chaste kiss. We've never... really..." I mouthed the word 'Frenched' because I was way too embarrassed to say it out loud in public.

"Well, you can tell he loves you, though... right? Is he like, the kind of guy who just might be toying with you?" Mei frowned, and I thought about the possibility. Could he really? I don't think he's capable, I mean, Toris is such a nice guy, and... That's the only basis I actually have for my claim.

I shook my head slowly, "No, he's not. He's genuinely nice, and, like, so not like other guys. That's just what's really bothering me." The others just stared at me as if I started performing magic in front of them.

"I bet he's just shy like Ludwig." Feli giggled. Ludwig is his boyfriend of two years. Feli dotes on him so much, the two stick to each other like gum onto hair (which is, needless to say, really inseparable; I know, I have tried). I wouldn't see him as the shy type though; Ludwig is very grumpy and he shouts at Feli a lot. But what do I know? Feli's probably the pushier one in their relationship, so yeah. The little brunette might have a point, though. Maybe Toris is just scared or too shy to make a move, and he's actually waiting for me. Huh. Never thought of that.

"Maybe you're right..." I nodded slowly.

Later in the week, me and Toris were going to go to the movies to watch this new movie called 'The Father', whose main star (a.k.a. The Father), is a hunky, famous German actor whose hair in the movie is long, blonde, swept back, and has a tiny, little braid in the side. He's so handsome, though. And hunky. And just... Hngh. Wow. He actually looks like that archer guy from some trilogy movie from years ago.

"What's this about?" I asked Toris.

"It's about the father of a lot of adopted children who has to deal with the death of his wife, and has to take care of his little kids. And well, he's actually a really high-ranked mafia man, and he does that to sustain his children... That's all I read in the synopsis and found out from the trailers."

Toris paid for our popcorn and sodas, I paid for the tickets and we were inside the theater after a while. We were quite early so we just went to our seats. Luckily, we got to choose.

You know how before the movie starts, there are trailers for other movies that'll come out in the future, right? Yeah, so there were a lot of those, and I was growing pretty tired of listening and watching them all, so I slipped my hand around Toris'. He probably hesitated for a moment before holding and squeezing it in response. I leaned against his arm, smiling up at him even in the almost-dark, hoping he could see me.

I cleared my throat, trying to build up confidence. You can do this, Feliks. Yeah. No big deal for you, you can ask him straight-out. It's like a test for him, and if he doesn't respond sincerely enough, then it's probably a sign for me to think twice about this.

I tapped his shoulder with my other hand and made him lean down so I could whisper something in his ear. "Toris?" I said softly, checking if I had his attention.

"Yes, Feliks?"

Love. Love was the word I wanted to hear from him, even if he didn't use the word itself. The idea or implied meaning of his words would be enough. Like. I wouldn't ask him if he liked me, because I mean, duh, why would he date me if he didn't like me, right? Stupid question to ask, really. So instead, I asked, "Do you, um... love me? Like, love love, not just like because we're dating?"

"Wha—? Of course, I do, Feliks! I do love you. What made you think that I didn't?"

"Umm... The fact that you have never, once in our entire dating relationship whatever, actually told me you loved me. I mean, I-I gotta be sure, right? Rather than assuming, just—" I cut myself off, my head processing too many thoughts and my mouth unable to produce something more coherent.

Toris sighed. "I'm sorry, Feliks. I really am. But it's just, I'm not really open about these kinds of feelings, I mean, I don't openly say it, but I do feel it... I somehow just find it hard to say it out loud to the other person. I'm sorry if that bothers you..."

"N-no!" I stammered. "It's fine if you're not really like that." I sighed, finding my doubts cleared away. So he did love me. That's... Wow. "I just thought you didn't. I'm sorry for doubting you. I love you, Toris."

"I love you too, Feliks." He smiled, but I could only see part of it thanks to the dim light. He kissed my forehead, then my lips. And I was pretty sure that lasted at least three seconds. Surely, three seconds doesn't count as 'chaste', right? He pulled back and looked at the screen. "Oh, the movie's starting. Let's watch now."

And that day, I could not get over how I just accomplished two things, dissolving my insecurities about us. One, he loves me. Two, he actually kissed me and it didn't last like point zero-zero-zero-zero-one second. I mean sure, we haven't really F-Frenched (it still bothers me to say that word; I mean, who called it that and why? Just, ugh, guys, better name please?) but at least we're slowly progressing.

So me and Toris were dating for a month and a half now, maybe nearing our second by then, and he said he loves me. It gave me euphoria whenever I thought about it. Like, how a giddy schoolgirl feels when her crush just told her he likes her back, or something. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me. Oh my gosh. Help.

A/N: I am so done. This is turning into a chick-book or a chick-read (like, chick-flicks but literature). This is what Poland, or y'know, LietPol does to me. Sorry for the late update again, by the way... I just can't seem to find the time and like, how do I fanfic? Yeah. Btw, hope you guys didn't mind so much timeskips, because I seriously don't feel like enumerating their dates one by one and describing all of them in the span of 6 chapters. Also because I needed to pace it up a bit. Haha. But yeah, hope you liked this one? Sorry it's kinda short. Idek. /sobs in corner