hellooooo. i don't know why i wrote this

It was the dead of night, but 13-year-old Dipper Pines was still very much awake.

A late summer thunderstorm pounded down onto the roof of the rickety Mystery Shack. The rain was loudest in the attic, where he and his twin sister Mabel slept during the summer when they came to live with their Great Uncle in Gravity Falls.

It wasn't the rain that was keeping him awake, though.

"…Mabel?"

He watched the still form across the attic for a reaction, but the lump of blankets that was his twin didn't even twitch.

"C'mon Mabel, I know you're awake. You can't sleep through storms, remember?"

He'd called her out, but she still refused to give up the fake sleeping.

"Please just talk to me?"

More silence.

Dipper sat up in bed and frowned into the darkness. Two days ago, Mabel would've answered him in less than a heartbeat. She would probably have twisted around until she was looking at him upside down, her feet resting on the stupid boy band poster that hung beside her bed, a questioning smile on her face.

Dipper missed that Mabel. But he couldn't blame her for wanting to keep silent.

His palms were starting to sweat. It wasn't like he was any more eager to broach this painfully awkward subject than she was… it just had to be done. They couldn't keep living like this—they were brother and sister, they were best friends, and they weren't meant to be distanced from each other by an uncomfortable haze of unspoken thoughts.

Dipper wiped his palms on the sheets. It had to be done. Resolute, the barely teenaged boy rolled out of bed and began the 5-step walk over to the only other person in the room. Even with the rain battering the roof over their heads, every squeak of the floorboard under his socks sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Five steps turned into 50 feet.

The squeaking stopped and he found himself sitting on the end of her bed. His sister was rolled up in a ball, hidden by covers, and as close to the wall as physically possible.

As far away from him as possible.

Dipper swallowed, hard. What if this wasn't fixable? He tried not to let his brain go down that road.

"Mabel." Although he meant to sound annoyed when he spoke her name, he could hear his voice waver on that second syllable. The balled up figure moved slightly, but didn't acknowledge him. Okay. Fine. She wasn't going to talk to him… so he was just going to have to say what he could.

"Look, I… uhh…" He picked at the dirt underneath his fingernails. Words? What were words again? "I know… we said that thing that never happened… uh, never happened, but… I think, we—" His voice betrayed him again by choosing that moment to crack (stupid puberty!). He forced himself to push forward, forward. "—We might, y'know, have to talk about it, just for a sec, 'cause I'm ninety-nine point nine percent sure it's the reason you've been ignoring me the past 2 days and that'sjustnotcool."

His words jumbled together at the end there, but he got what he wanted to say out, didn't he? Now he just needed a response.

A beat passed before the sheets were pushed back to reveal a face, muddled in the darkness. The lump of blankets dispersed and she sat up too, facing him. Success! Dipper scooted closer.

Then a particularly long spell of lightening lit up the said face, and any hope inside his chest was quickly extinguished.

Mabel looked scared. Sad. Mildly disgusted. He always could read her like a book. His insides twisted. Was this how she would look at him from now on?

The lightening died away but he could still feel her eyes on him, waiting. You want to talk, go ahead, he could almost read her mind. All he wanted to do was pull the brim of his hat down over his eyes and hide away from everyone; from all the stupid kids at that party, from stupid Pacifica, who was responsible for this sick joke in the first place… even from her. His hand had already reached up instinctively before he realized that he wasn't wearing his hat.

Dipper sucked in a hard breath through his nose.

"I know you're freaked out, I am too," he muttered, staring at his knobby knees. "But… you're not planning on ignoring me forever, are you? Cause that would just… suck."

"No," was her weak reply.

His shoulders slumped. It was a start, sort of. "Well, good, I guess."

For a long time, the two siblings just listened to the rain fall. Then Dipper snapped.

"Oh, come on Mabel! Why can't we just go back to normal? Why do you have to be mad at me? If you're gonna be mad at someone, it should be at that jerk Pacifica, not me! It wasn't my fault!"

He was immediately silenced when a mass of brown waves flew at him, and she was standing on the bed looking down on him. "I'm not mad at you! I'm freaked out at myself!"

He blinked. "Huh?"

Mabel's eyes widened and she seemed to change her mind about talking, turning her back on him before falling forward into her pillow. "Nope nope nope nope nope," She mumbled to herself, her voice muffled.

He slid himself until he was sitting right next to her and put a hand on her back, shaking her lightly. "Mabel, what?"

Immediately she shrugged his hand off (his insides twisted again) and pushed herself up to sit beside him, their feet dangling off the edge of the bed. "Let's just not talk about this. Can we not talk about this? Let's not. Okay. Cool. Awesome."

Dipper narrowed his eyes. "Dude, just—"

Her hands clamped over her ears. "La la la la notttt talking!"

"Quit it! Can't you—"

"LAAAA LAAA LAAAA—"

He just couldn't deal with it anymore. Not the tension, or the arguing. He needed his twin back. So Dipper grabbed Mabel's wrists and forced her hands away from her ears. Not hard enough to hurt her. Just hard enough to shut her up.

Their eyes met, hers surprised, his frustrated, and it all came spilling out of him. "Mabel! It happened! Accidentally! Deal with it!"

He actually turned red. This was so messed up. Letting go of her wrists and turning to look at the wall, Dipper had never been so thankful for the dark.

He heard a small sound to his right and suddenly felt horrible for snapping at her. If she'd been wearing a sweater, she would have already disappeared inside of it. The boy rubbed at his eyes. They were in the same boat, him and Mabel. Sailing together through uncharted, highly awkward and pretty screwed-up-when-you-really-thought-about-it waters. He shouldn't have yelled. He was just tired of this; so, so tired.

"Sorry for yelling. I just- I wish you would stop being so weird around me. It wasn't our fault, it was just a really, really idiotic prank some stupid girl pulled on us. Okay?"

Dipper put a hand on her shoulder for emphasis, then fought the urge to pull his hand away. He didn't want to let this get to him—he wanted to be able to touch her like he normally did. But in all honesty, 'the thing that never happened' (as Mabel had deemed it) was seriously getting to him too.

Before this, their relationship had been perfectly fine. Normal. Well maybe not normal, per se; nothing involving Mabel could ever be just plain normal. Still, there was nothing truly weird about their sibling bond. Right? Mabel was a girl, and he was a boy- so what? They were twins, born and raised together, always together, so duh, they were really close.

However, being fraternal boy-girl twins, there was always a line there. A line that should never be crossed. One that neither of them ever even thought about. And now thanks to 'the thing that never happened,' Dipper and Mabel had been thrown, kicking and screaming, far, far over the line, and were both floundering to get back into the safe zone.

Obviously, it wasn't that easy.

Dipper glared at nothing, thinking back to the night of the incident. 2 days ago, much to their mutual surprise, he and Mabel had been invited at the last minute to a birthday party. Not just any birthday party though; it was an invite to the house of the richest, most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest. Neither of the twins were particularly fond of Pacifica—she seemed to get snobbier every week in the two summers since they'd been coming to Gravity Falls—but they had both heard rumors about how amazing this party was supposedly going to be.

First off, there weren't going to be any adult chaperones. Being thirteen, the two brunettes were starry eyed at this rumor. No adults unquestionably meant more fun. Second, Pacifica had allegedly arranged for certain beverages of the 'adult' variety to be at her party. This part hadn't really interested Mabel much, but Dipper had to admit, he was… intrigued. He didn't get invited to parties like that at home.

Third, and most importantly, Pacifica had invited older teenagers, which meant that Wendy—who was 16 now and somehow even cooler and more amazing than ever—was going to be there. Dipper had struck out to the friend zone the past summer, so when they'd first arrived in Gravity Falls last June, he made a promise to himself that this summer would be the one. He was a teenager now, albeit a technical one. He'd grown a lot; he was even a solid inch taller than Mabel now. Yeah, Wendy still towered over him (details!), but Dipper really felt like he had a shot now. And this party would be the perfect chance to take it.

Still, he'd had his suspicions. After all, why the heck would Pacifica Northwest invite Mabel Pines, her mortal enemy, and Dipper Pines, her enemy by association, to her birthday party? When he'd voiced that thought to his sister, she waved it off with a few raspberry noises and a smile.

"Pffffft. Oh please, brother, quit being so paranoid about everything. Maybe she just decided to be nice to us now!"

Somehow, Dipper doubted this was true, but the prospect of finally making something happen with Wendy was too great to ignore. So the Pines twins had gone to the party.

It had been great, at first. The two stuck together in the beginning, exploring the huge building that was the Northwest Mansion. There was loud music, food, and teens everywhere, all holding red solo cups. When Dipper finally worked up the nerve to get a red cup for himself, Mabel branched off to the dance floor, twirling around by herself. He'd smiled over at her from the drinks table and decided that his sister would be okay on her own, for now.

His solo cup full, he took an experimental sip. The urge to wrinkle his nose hit, but he fought it off. If this was what teenagers drank at parties, so be it—how cool would he look sauntering over to Wendy with one of these in his hand? Confidence heightened, the boy adjusted his hat and wandered off to find the red-headed girl of his dreams.

He'd eventually found Wendy. And really, it was perfection. Just the two of them bantering as usual, as Dipper clutched his cup of liquid courage. When he finished half, he stepped up his flirting game, and it kind of seemed like Wendy was picking up what he was putting down. Seriously, things were going flawlessly.

Things only started to go south when Wendy left for the bathroom, and as he was standing alone in a hallway, waiting for her to get back, he was approached by Pacifica herself.

He should have run away right then.

"Hey Dipper, having fun?" Pacifica's smile was just a little too sickeningly sweet. Warning bells rang in his mind.

"Uhh yes?"

"Good. Listen, we're playing a game in the other room. Come play?"

He wanted to say no. He wanted to stay here and wait for Wendy. So he was furious with himself when his mouth formed the words, "Um, sure, I guess…"

Pacifica led him to the door of one of the many bedrooms in the oversized mansion, then stopped and turned to face him, a superior smirk on her face.

"Okay, so basically, the game's like seven minutes in heaven, but with a twist."

His heart sped up. He'd heard of this game. "What kind of twist?"

Her smirk grew, as if she'd just been dying for him to ask. "You're not allowed to talk to who you're with, and you have to wear this." Pacifica pulled a piece of cloth out of her tight jeans pocket, and Dipper assumed correctly that it was a blindfold. His lip curled.

"Why?"

"The fun of the game is not knowing who you're with, duh." She scoffed.

He rolled his eyes and started to walk away. "Y'know, I think I'll pass." He just wanted to find Wendy- she'd been gone awhile. Then Pacifica said something that made him stop in his tracks and drop his half-full cup.

"Fine. Guess you'll leave Wendy waiting then."

Well, needless to say, Dipper let her tie on the blindfold. He felt his hat being lifted off his head as Pacifica hissed in his ear, "Remember, no talking once we're inside."

He could only nod. His mouth went dry and his voice died completely as he tried to comprehend the fact that he was about to kiss Wendy. He'd never kissed anyone. And now, Wendy. Wendy!

It was a miracle he could walk at all as he felt Pacifica lead him inside the bedroom. There was different, quieter music in here. Dipper felt a lot of eyes on him. His suspicions that there were a bunch of other people in the room were proven right when he heard a few sniggers.

He gulped.

Then, he was pushed into a closet and the door slammed behind him. It was just him and Wendy now; here was the perfect chance he'd been waiting for.

And as nervous as Dipper was, he resolved to take it.

There was quiet breathing somewhere near his ear. He tried to move closer to the source of the breathing, but his legs hit a pair of knees—Wendy must have been sitting on a box of closet junk. Well, good. Now he'd actually be able to reach her face.

Sweat beaded on his neck. His hands reached out blindly, only to be met by another pair of hands… so he threaded their fingers together. When the time came for Wendy to take off the blindfold and see it was Dipper Pines she'd been kissing, he wanted her to remember how romantic he'd been.

He leaned closer. His senses were going haywire. His heart hammered against his ribcage. He was actually glad for the blindfold, because he knew if he were looking into her eyes right now, even in the darkness, he might chicken out.

He felt Wendy lean towards him and he squeezed her hands gently. Her breath tickled his nose; their faces were only inches apart.

It was now or never.

Dipper took one last ragged breath before closing the gap. Surprisingly, even with the blindfold, he didn't miss—he'd caught lips. He turned his head slightly, fitting their mouths together perfectly, putting out just the right amount of pressure. She was so soft. He didn't even notice when he started to stroke her thumbs with his own. He felt lightheaded with all the giddiness surging through his body. His brain exploded with thoughts of Wendy, Wendy, Wendy.

After a few more glorious seconds, he pulled back a few inches for air. Just as he was about to go in for another kiss, she spoke quietly.

"Oh mysterious stranger, that was the best first kiss a girl could ever ask for…"

Dipper froze. The voice was girly, and lovesick. And it was not Wendy's.

No. No. No.

"Wait…" His mouth somehow formed small and fearful words even though his body was stricken with frozen panic.

Please, please, no.

"…Mabel?"

"D-Dipper…?"

Everything had been a blur after that. He remembered his face warming up into what could only be a fire-engine shade of red. He remembered ripping off his blindfold only to have his worst fears realized. By the look on her face, he judged that she was coming to the same horrifying conclusion.

He'd just had the perfect romantic moment—with his sister.

After the realization came the screaming. The screaming, the bursting out of the closet, and the cruel, relentless laughter that met their ears when they did. Turned out the bedroom held a lot more people than he'd originally thought. Mabel sprinted for the door, still screaming as she escaped through it, but he found himself stumbling up to Pacifica, who was laughing the loudest of all.

He'd tried to come up with something to say that would address the severity of the malicious prank she'd just pulled, but his brain was still in shock.

"Wha—what is WRONG with you?!" He shouted in her face, his eyes wild.

She only let loose a stupid little tinkling laugh, and he wanted to punch her, even though Dipper Pines didn't punch people, much less smaller girls. She looked him directly in the eyes. "What's wrong with me? I'm not the freak who just made out with his sister."

Hearing it said aloud made him feel sick. He couldn't respond to that. How could he respond to that?

More laughter started up, along with wolf whistles and cat calls, yells of words like "freak" and "sicko," and it was all Dipper could do to snatch his hat out of her hands and sprint from the room.

The running didn't stop until he cleared the huge front lawn of the mansion. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he found Mabel sitting in the golf cart that they'd driven to the party, waiting for him in silence.

Mabel. He just kissed Mabel. He-he'd threaded their fingers together. He'd stroked her thumbs.

Oh god.

Turning around, he took one last look at the house that was still alive with partying teens. Playfully bantering with Wendy suddenly felt like it'd happened 10 years ago rather than 10 minutes.

Mabel jumped when he alerted her to his presence by unceremoniously flopping down into the seat next to her. He didn't look at her anymore after that as he turned the key and started the cart.

They drove that way for a while through the dark, forest-covered roads of Gravity Falls before Dipper couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Mabel—"

She cut him off before he could get another word in. "We don't need to talk about it 'cause it never happened. Okay?" Her voice sounded weird. His knuckles were turning white, he was gripping the steering wheel so hard.

"Okay. Yeah. Agreed."

They'd agreed it never happened, but things didn't go back to the normal, mostly carefree (when random monsters didn't appear) way the twins spent their summers at Gravity Falls.

Suddenly sharing a bedroom with Mabel wasn't normal. Brushing his teeth with Mabel wasn't normal. Sitting shoulder to shoulder with Mabel on the couch while watching Duck-tective wasn't normal. Because Mabel had transformed from his twin sister to a girl he'd kissed in a closet… who was also his sister. It wasn't normal. It was awkward.

After spending one morning together after the incident Mabel couldn't seem to handle the awkward anymore, so she just stopped spending time with him altogether. Instead she'd opted to spend the last two days with Waddles, or Grenda and Candie. When they did cross paths, she barely said 3 words to him. Maybe 5 words tops.

It didn't feel right, not talking to Mabel.

Sitting next to her on the bed, Dipper finally broke down and took his hand off her shoulder. This really sucked. Sure, it was horribly awkward… but he missed his sister. He missed his best friend.

His shoulders slumped, defeated.

"Mabel, I'm sorry." Dipper couldn't come up with anything else to say.

"Don't apologize, goofus." Her voice was tiny and she stared intently at her hands. "You said it yourself, it wasn't your fault."

"Then why are you still ignoring me?"

This seemed to unnerve her. "Because… I, I can't… tell you." She whispered, tugging at the sleeves of her nightgown.

"Why not?" He was desperate to set things right—he had to know.

"Because! It's too weird."

He let out a forced chuckle. "Uhh, weirder than us kissing?" The pathetic laughter died in his throat when she only glared at him, and he read her mind. "Yeah, you're right, too soon."

She stayed silent. Lightning lit up the room again, and Dipper had never seen his sister look so torn. Stupid, stupid Pacifica. He nudged her arm. "Mabellll. You know you can tell me anything." Or at least, you used to—he squashed the thought before it could finish.

"No, I can't." She buried her face in her hands so that when she spoke again her voice was muffled. "It's just too weird."

He put an arm around her. "Mabel, please." He tried not to let his voice betray how desperate he was. "We gotta fix this. And we're never going to if you keep keeping things to yourself."

Her body deflated under his arm. "Okay. Okay…It's… just…" the brunette girl struggled to find words. "That closet. Pacifica convinced me to go in there and… we were in there and… that was my first kiss."

He nodded. His arm felt stiff. He'd never felt so uncomfortable in his life. "Y-yeah, I know. Mine too."

She didn't acknowledge his confession, probably because it was no surprise to her. That information kind of came with the whole telling-each-other-everything twin thing. Instead she just continued as if he hadn't said anything.

"And… before you were, um, you, you were just a mysterious stranger. And mister mysterious stranger kissed me, and I felt… some stuff."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Some… stuff?"

She shrugged. "You know, fireworks, sparks, magic, all that dumb stuff…" She trailed off, embarrassed. He wasn't much better. His cheeks flared. His arm turned to lead. This is Mabel, he screamed inwardly. This is Mabel!

Her voice broke through his thoughts. "So I'm sitting there feeling all these stupid feelings for mysterious stranger and so I break the rules and start talking and then you start talking and I realize that you are mister mysterious stranger and I really am a freak because—because—what kind of a person feels that stuff when they kiss their brother!"

Her voice had reached a pretty high and squeaky decibel and Dipper was thankful the storm drowned it out. If Grunkle Stan ever overheard a sentence like that… well. He didn't even want to know.

He lowered his eyes. "It doesn't—we didn't know."

She shook her head. "No. No. It doesn't matter. I'm a disgusting freak."

The sentence came out shaky and it sounded like she might cry and he felt his heart snap in two. He never liked hearing her sad; she was such naturally happy and optimistic person, that whenever she sounded broken, he'd always felt like it was his job to do something, anything, to fix it. And the boy had never heard her sound quite this defeated before.

He had to do something about it. He had to protect her. And if she could trust him enough to tell him something like this, then… well… he could do the same.

"Mabel, you're not disgusting. Or a freak," he said, taking his arm back from around her to grip his knees.

"Yes I am…."

"Okay, then I guess I am too because you're not the only one who felt… stuff."

Her eyes widened and she turned to stare at him; they were still glisten-y with tears from before. He caught her gaze for a second before the stifling silence forced him to look away.

It was true. He'd kissed Mabel, but he'd thought it was Wendy. It was Wendy, so there was no reason to hold back, right? He still vividly remembered the tingles, the lightheadedness. He'd been on cloud nine. Because why not?

Why not, indeed, Dipper thought sarcastically. Then he steeled himself. This was fixable. It had to be. He would make it fixable.

"Mabel," he began tentatively. "I don't think that matters. That we felt stuff. Know what? I know it doesn't matter."

She looked unsure. "How?"

"Because. I thought you were someone else and you thought I was someone else. It was both our first kisses. We were all giddy and stupid and caught up in that dumb game. And even though there was no way we could've known it was each other, well, we're twins. We're close. Some of that could've rubbed off, somehow… I mean…" He rubbed the back of his neck. That came out wrong. "I… whatever. The point is we're gonna get past this because you're my sister and I love you and I'm not gonna lose you over some dumb joke Pacifica Northwest pulled on us."

He took a breath. Then waited a beat. Then there was a pair of arms around his neck and he breathed a sigh of relief, because Mabel was hugging him and things kind of felt normal again.

"You're right," she smiled into his shoulder. "You're right."

The safe zone. They'd made it. They held on to each other for a second or two more, feeling safe back over on the other side of the line. Then, without planning on it, their voices rang out in unison as they thumped each other lightly on the back:

"Pat pat."

They pulled back, staring at each other for a moment, before throwing their heads back and laughing hysterically. The room was filled with uncontrolled laughter and numerous snorts mixed with the sound of booming thunder. Dipper gave Mabel a one-armed squeeze before laughing his way back to his own bed.

After a few minutes, the giggles died away. Dipper crossed his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. Listening to the rain, wondering if it was really that easy to fix things, he heard Mabel call out to him quietly.

"Hey Dipper, I love you too."

welp. yeah. like i said, multiple interpretations, up to the reader, yada yada

all i know is i love dipper and mabel's twinsy bond

review!