For the Reunion—A Lollipop Chainsaw Fic

Ten long years had passed since the events at San Romero High School. The blood had long washed from the pavement, the banners were re-hung, and the school gleamed like the picture of whitebread middle class suburbia. It had also been ten long years since Swan had blown his head off. No one had ever found the body, however.

But Swan hadn't died. Not quite. He still lived—well, existed at any rate. He'd pulled on his head, stitched it together, and walked far away from the town he'd hated so much. For years, he lived as a recluse, whispered of in secret by little old ladies as a mysterious old boogeyman who'd committed some heinous crime and was often used to scare little children into being good. This contented Swan—better to be feared than loved, after all. But he began soon to miss San Romero. Beautiful, sunny San Romero with its hypocrites, its posers, and its surprisingly delicious candy. Everything tasted better there, really. And then, there was her.

Juliet Starling. The reason for everything, really, Swan had to admit. If he'd never fallen for her, the school might have been slightly less covered in bombs that day. If he'd never fallen for her, Nick wouldn't have been stuck wearing the body of a septuagenarian pederast. He said he hated her. And in many ways he did. He hated her teasing and flirting, knowing he'd never get anywhere with her. He hated her constant smiling, as he never had anything to be happy about. He hated how her clueless, ditzy attitude carried her through life whereas his intellect had earned him nothing but ridicule. Most of all, though, he hated how much he loved her. How much he missed her. And most of all…how much he'd given up for her.

Juliet Starling, however, was also thinking about that fateful day. The last ten years had not been kind to her. The saying that "High School is the best years of your life" seemed to ring true for her, as she hadn't been happy since. Nick Carlyle and she had drifted apart, after realizing they had very little in common other than being attractive and well, teenagers. As well, he couldn't help but feel he'd prefer a normal life to one involving ripping zombies in half with a chainsaw. Juliet was pretty low lately.

"Like, oh-em-gee, this is a total bummer. What happened to those totally awesome days when I used to hang with people like Nick, and Alexander, and Swan…"

Swan. Wait. She never thought about Swan.

"What is wrong with me? He was like a totally creepy lame-o jerky-jerk."

Indeed, Juliet had many reasons to hate Swan. First of all, he killed many people she'd called friends. Secondly, he'd help make her ex into what he'd become. Thirdly, he was arrogant, egotistical, had terrible fashion sense, and was always staring at her. Then again, so were most guys. In a way, she supposed, she did miss him. After all, until that day, he hadn't been all that bad. He was, well, just another guy. And well, tons of people had been leaving San Romero. Housing rates had gone up, and well…sometimes being rich wasn't enough excuse to stay. Some didn't like the memories associated with the town. Others wanted to try new things. But one thing would draw them back together.

The following morning, a small, innocuous letter arrived in Juliet's inbox.

"Oh-em-gee, a reunion?"

Indeed, San Romero High School was organizing a reunion. And it promised to be quite a night to remember. There was of course going to be a vigil for those lost in the tragic events of that year, but also dancing, and cake, and probably an adequately funded meal. As well as all the other stuff reunions came with.

Unbeknownst to her, Swan had received the same message.

"A reunion? Bah! You have to be fucking kidding!"

Despite his terse reaction, Swan suddenly felt an urge to attend. After all, he supposed, he did owe them an apology. And well, maybe Juliet would be there…

He hoped that sinking feeling was the ill-conceived ham sandwich he'd eaten for lunch.

Within a couple of weeks, the reunion was soon at hand. Swan had begun to pick out a new suit, one that would be a bit more flattering. He'd not really put on weight, but thought he could use one anyway. He also decided to go lighter on the corpse paint. No need for them to think he had ill intent, after all. His alabaster skin glowed lightly under the sun. With one final stroke he applied some black lipstick.

"Ah, it feels good to be back in the old habits."

Juliet Starling contemplated wearing her old cheer outfit, but…it no longer fit her right.

"Ugh! I am so totally fat!"

But it wasn't that, not really. She'd been growing taller…and well, growing up. She still was bubbly and fun-loving, but that day had changed her. She'd begun to question things she'd never thought about before…For example, just what right did jocks have to bully people? Like, was strength all that mattered? For that matter, what made a hunky guy? Was it muscles and a pretty face? Or was it a kind heart? Or intelligence? Was PEZ really as bitter as she'd remembered?

"You incredibly hot idiot."

Those words, spoken so long ago echoed in Juliet's head. Was that all she'd been? An idiot? She hadn't even noticed Swan getting beaten up, and yet it happened every day. She remembered Swan holding Lewis Legend's gun, and blowing his head off.

The look on her face had been one of shock.

She should have laughed. She should have kicked him and told him how good it was to see him dead. But she couldn't. She couldn't. She'd wanted to get him for all he'd done to her beloved school, but she couldn't find it in her to hate him then.

"This school, this world, it deserves to be destroyed!"

Swan had yelled this at her as he died. At the time, she'd thought it was crazy…and then he went on to tell her how he'd been laughed at and rejected his whole life. And to think, earlier that same day she'd worried about looking like a freak to her boyfriend. She had looks to die for…Swan did. And she couldn't help but feel a little guilty. She could get away with having little quirks because she was popular, beautiful, and loved…and Swan had it rubbed in his face every day he'd never be loved or accepted.

"If I hadn't been like this…would I have been like him?" she wondered aloud.

"SO FUCK ALL OF YOU."

Swan had pretty much summed it up there. No one had cared about him, why should he care either? But San Romero had changed. It was pretty empty now. The boom had come and gone. Swan had been right—it was rotting. And now, Juliet Starling sat looking at her now very tattered stuffed rabbit, and sucked half-heartedly on a lollipop as she tried to pick out something different.

Then she stumbled across something she didn't remember owning. It was a black miniskirt, with a matching red-and-black top. At first, she shuddered. It reminded her too much of Zed. But then, she took it off the hanger, and a small card fell out.

"Happy Birthday, with love from Swan—2005"

Wait. Hold the phone. He'd remembered her birthday?

She found another, hastily made card with it.

"With love from Rosco—2005"

Now she remembered. At the time, she thought Rosco was hitting on her…and being unusually nice…But she'd seen an oddly sadder looking Swan…

Oh God…he'd been beaten up and had all his credit taken. She unfolded Swan's card more.

"P.S. Juliet. This belonged to a cousin of mine. She died a while back, and I had nothing to give you for your birthday. So I figured it might fit you. It might be a little big, but…I tried. Happy Birthday."

"Swan…cared?"

She took Rosco's card and tore it to pieces in sheer frustration with herself. Then Juliet looked at the outfit. It was…kind of cute, really. Very Swan, but she supposed it ran in the family. Quickly, she pulled it on, and it fit perfectly. A decade ago, it would have been too big…but she'd filled it very well. Ten years could mean a lot, she thought. A delicate coat of pink lipstick complemented her pigtails as she did her nails in the same shade.

"Well, I'm going to have a good time, I'm sure….I wish Swan could be there. No one should have to miss their high school reunion."

Wishes are funny things.

The night opened with a speech by the newest principal.

"Alumni of San Romero High, welcome to the tenth anniversary reunion of the class of ought-six! But first, a moment of silence, for those who died in the tragic massacre."

The principal found himself being interrupted.

"Sorry, sir. But I have something important to say."

Several hundred jaws hit the floor.

Swan was back from the dead.

"Alumni of San Romero High. I have an apology to deliver. I do not expect to be forgiven, but I would like the chance to try. Ten years ago, I summoned an army of zombies and rigged the school to explode, killing hundreds of innocent people. I did this out of revenge for the cruel treatment I'd received at the hands of my peers. But dying and coming back from the grave, then sitting around for ten years gives you time to think. And I thought long and hard on this. I realize now what I did was inexcusable. It was a childish response. And I'm not here to justify myself. I merely ask one small favour of you. Two small favours, actually. One, that I may join you tonight in the festivities…and two…that I may light a candle for the vigil. I snuffed out so many bright lights…that maybe I should be the one to light one in their memory."

There was a deathly silence.

Swan paused.

And then suddenly, out of the crowd, stepped Juliet Starling.

"Swan?"

Swan's heart leaped in his chest. Well, it would have were it still beating.

"Juliet?"

Then, Juliet took the stage beside him.

"Friends, I totally understand if you're bummed out about what he did. But I'd like to give him another chance. It's been ten years. Maybe things have changed."

"And, if I do so much as harm a fly you're welcome to kill me again." Swan added.

The ceremony proceeded onward as normal.

After the opening ceremony, Juliet took Swan aside.

"You could have told me you'd lived!" she said, glaring at him.

"I didn't fancy a chainsaw through my spine for my troubles." Swan shot back.

She sighed. Swan was right. Had he told her right after it all, she probably would have gutted him.

"So where's your dreamboat, Nick?" Swan asked, with a surprising lack of malice or bitterness in his tone.

"We…parted ways." She said it with a voice that was half a lovelorn teenager and half a girl who'd had to grow up very quickly. "We realized, after a while, we had really very little in common, and that, well, looks and charm can't carry a relationship forever."

"So what's the man up to now?"

"He left San Romero. Moved to Chicago, where his grandparents were from. I hear he's teaching karate now, and that he married a nice, down to earth homemaker."

"Nice life if you like that sort of thing." Swan nodded.

"Just…what have you been up to the last ten years?" Juliet wondered.

"I've been living in a small town outside. Mostly little old ladies and WASPs. I knew I'd be shunned there, so I contented myself with being the town boogeyman. It gave me some privacy at least—the townsfolk left me alone mostly. But ten long years change so much, and when that email arrived…"

Juliet nodded. She couldn't imagine how boring it would have been for a restless girl like her.

"The sun's been setting on San Romero. It's no longer the paradise it once was. Well, at least on the surface, I mean. People have left left right and centre since you died."

"Growing up is a bitch, Juliet. I learned that the hard way. Even if technically I'm no longer aging. Oh, and I love the outfit."

Juliet swallowed hard.

"Oh, yeah, Swan, about that…I'm so sorry. The one birthday you gave me something you couldn't even take credit for it, and I acted like…it was nothing at all…especially since it meant something to you…"

Swan did something unexpected. He smiled. A genuine smile.

"It's been 11 years since then…but better late than never."

Juliet couldn't believe her eyes. She was standing before the man she had every reason to hate. He had murdered her friends. Friends she'd never get back. He had done so much to her. But…she didn't want to hate him. She sensed something there, something she hadn't seen before.

"Juliet…thank you for taking my part. I could never ask that of you. I mean, I did ruin your birthday, and I did murder your friends…."

"Swan. It's been like ten years. Shut up and enjoy the freaking party."

"It may be the first party I've ever enjoyed…"

The two made their way to the buffet, where the two sampled some of the hors-d'oeuvres, and some of the cheese made at the newly re-owned O'Bannon farm.

"I don't normally eat cheese; it makes me like sooo fat."

"Juliet, you are nowhere near fat. The dictionary may as well add 'not Juliet Starling' beside the word fat."

Juliet felt her heart skip a little. She liked being told she wasn't fat.

No, wait. She couldn't let this happen. She couldn't seriously be hanging with a man who crowed about genocide as he ruined her day.

Then again, that was one day in ten years.

Second chances were warranted.

Swan still got many disapproving looks at the party. It was, of course, understandable. Swan didn't think his return would be greeted by praise and adulation. People don't just forget murder.

Or zombies, for that matter.

But in the lanterns and streamers, Swan had to admit he was having a good time. An odd feeling, he supposed, but a good one. This was the first party he'd been honestly invited to, and not as part of some cruel joke. He looked over at Juliet, who was laughing and smiling like usual. That smile…there was something about it. There really wasn't any malice in it. The few times she'd been cruel to him…had she even realized? She probably hadn't.

Juliet looked over at Swan. He was…enjoying himself? She really couldn't believe her eyes. Here was a man who spent all of his time brooding. And yet…he was laughing and smiling. The laugh was genuinely happy, a far cry from the sadistic cackle he'd had that day when he was standing on the statue's head.

"So then, I say to the teacher, 'One, that's the cheapest whisky I've ever smelled, and second, judging by the way she's reacting, that sure as hell isn't the pencil sharpener!'"

There was uproarious laughter as Swan finished his story. Juliet couldn't believe it. Swan? Joking? But she found herself laughing along with him. Swan walked up beside her.

"The time our old science teacher got drunk. Never gets old. Boy was the student teacher ticked at him…"

Swan laughed gently.

Juliet smiled.

"I remember that! Didn't he get kicked out?"

"Faster than you can say 'anyone hurt and need a lawyer?'"

Soon the cake was served, and Swan found himself sitting beside Juliet, enjoying the vanilla icing.

"Juliet. Come on, eat your slice."

"I'll be totally fat!"

"You won't. Now shut up and enjoy your cake. You're only young once."

Juliet found herself smiling at this. This had been a wonderful night so far. He hadn't even done so much as glower menacingly. She found herself wondering why she couldn't have met him like this before. And then she remembered. The other boys wouldn't let her near him, and well, she'd just thought he was kind of creepy.

Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

Swan excused himself for a bit, catching the eye of someone.

Half an hour later, Juliet noticed three guys were missing.

It couldn't be…could it?

Juliet saw a nightmarish vision of Swan laughing. Could he have just been leading her on all this time? Was he back like in all those slasher movies to kill off people he hated? It was a good thing then, that she'd packed her chainsaw in pom-pom mode if she needed it. She set off to find Swan and bring an end to his twisted schemes.

Swan sat calmly holding a drink, and checking a phone repeatedly.

"Swan! What the dick is going on?"

Swan sat up alarmed.

"Juliet? Is something wrong?"

"Like, what the dick happened with those three guys? Did you…"

She couldn't even get the words out. She didn't want to believe she'd been wrong about Swan's reformation.

But Swan just laughed.

She reached for the chainsaw in her bag…

"What three guys? They're right behind me!"

They all stepped out from behind Swan.

Juliet sighed in relief.

"I was just doing stuff for them. Johnny here had to tend to a friend's sprained ankle, so I held his drink for him. Vince was feeling kind of nauseous because he accidentally ate some cheesy stuff, and he's allergic to it. I guided him to the nearest washroom. And finally, I'm being Charlie's wingman tonight. He's actually just sent me a text to let me know that the girl he was asking out said yes." Swan explained.

Juliet shook her head.

"I was just so worried…"

"That I'd gone all crazy again? Too many slasher movies, Juliet? It's ok, I understand. Big scary goth."

He laughed mildly, and Juliet smiled.

"I must seem like such a big jerk, huh?" Juliet asked.

"Not at all." Swan reassured.

Johnny walked up to Juliet.

"Juliet! Why didn't you introduce us to him before? He's a pretty cool guy!"

Juliet realized deep down, Swan would have probably been the life of the party had they just given him a shot. And here he was, chatting up a storm, and helping out other people. It was like dying had really opened up his eyes. Swan waved goodbye to his new friends and walked off with Juliet.

"You're probably wondering what really changed me." Swan said to her.

"I'm a little curious, yeah."

"You know, I woke up in a crematorium, ready to get shoved into the flames, when I screamed. The undertaker heard me. He took me off the slab and told me he'd seen the odd zombie in his lifetime and that depending on what I said he'd either blow my brains out or let me walk. I told him everything. And then he told me that I really needed to move on with my afterlife. He gave me some cash and I hit the road. My place in San Romero had been seized, but I was allowed to keep a few possessions, just the really important stuff, like my laptop and books. I couldn't afford the San Romero life because no one would want to hire me. Fortunately, I still had the money my late parents had bequeathed to me. Thanks to clerical error, my bank account hadn't closed and I persuaded them to keep it open, as I technically was still alive. I bought a small, somewhat rundown farmhouse, and lived out in a quiet field. The word of what I'd done spread with my entrance into the town, and so people rarely spoke to me. I took a job at the cemetery, working, if you'll excuse the pun, the graveyard shift. I'd dig graves and manage the records, all while taking advantage of my undead status to scare troublemakers out of there. My favourite trick was removing my head and scaring people by appearing as a headless zombie. I found though while I was really mad at first about everything, I realized that maybe I'd really blown it. I'd ruined my own life, and so many others' lives, all because I was being way too angry. So, between the graveyard and my own quiet meditation (I tried some of Mariska's meditation techniques), I began to realize that I could start my life anew. And maybe, finally atone for all the shit I'd done."

Juliet took it all in. It was pretty heavy stuff.

"Swan…I'm glad things have improved. But why on earth come back? You left this place behind. Wouldn't coming back be totally a bummer for you?"

Swan sighed.

"That's the funny thing, Juliet. One thing kept coming back to my mind, Juliet. You."

Juliet's jaw dropped.

"It wasn't vengeance or resentment. I genuinely missed you, and I wanted to see you again even if it was just for coffee. When the reunion announcement arrived in my inbox…well…I couldn't resist."

Juliet couldn't believe her ears.

"Well, Swan…here's the totally funny thing…I couldn't stop thinking about you either. I mean, I was bummed out about your suicide. Like totally, I had nightmares about that day. Specifically, all the stuff you'd said. And I felt so guilty I'd done like nothing to help."

"Juliet…"

Swan wiped away a small tear.

Across the room, music began. The dance had begun, and the class of 2006 began to tear up the dance floor. The greatest hits of 2006 played as what remained of the student body of that year had the best time they'd had in ages. Even Swan, who'd made his contempt for the music of the era well known, was enjoying himself and dancing up a storm. Juliet loved it too. She drank in all the smiling faces…the sheer happiness of the moment. It was sweeter than any lollipop.

As the night wore on, slower songs started, and the music got older, for the benefit of the teachers. Juliet then noticed Swan heading for the back of the room.

"Swan, wait!" Juliet called, running up to him.

"Juliet?"

"What are you doing, Swan?"

"It's slow dancing. There's no place for me there."

This stung the both of them. Swan stung from knowing in the past no one had wanted to dance with him, and Juliet from seeing Swan so lonely.

And then she got a bold idea. Ten years ago she never would have even dared think it. But it was a different time. They were older, wiser. And most of the people who would have judged them were dead. And while that wasn't really a good thing, it sure as hell made it easier, she thought.

"Swan? What if we totally danced together?"

Swan's face visibly reddened. His heart would have leaped in his chest.

"You mean it?"

"I've never been more serious."

So slowly, awkwardly at first, they took hands. Swan's hands didn't feel much, but even he could appreciate the sheer heat of Juliet's hands. She looked deeply into Swan's eyes. They were surprisingly attractive. Their first steps were awkward, unbalanced…but by the third song they were dancing beautifully. Other students stared in wonder—Swan dancing with a girl was a sight unseen before.

Juliet found her mind abuzz. How could this be happening? Ten years ago, she'd wanted nothing more than to introduce him to her chainsaw. Now…she was dancing with him…and becoming oddly attracted to him. What was this new feeling? No…it wasn't new…she'd been feeling it for a while. Maybe it was time to tell him…

As if in answer, the music switched to REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling."

Juliet didn't really need to speak. The lyrics were saying all she wanted to say.

And as it turns out, Swan was feeling the same way.

"Swan…"she began, trying to get out the words.

"Juliet…I…lo…" Swan wasn't having much luck either.

"I know." Juliet said, and she pulled him into a kiss.

For a moment, everything stopped. Teachers, students, music…even Juliet's heart, almost.

Swan let his emotions finally show, and he swept Juliet off her feet.

Then, out of the silence, applause.

Juliet smiled.

"I didn't know you were such a good kisser, Swan."

"Neither did I."

The evening was drawing to a close, and so that only left one more thing: the vigil. Swan watched in solemn silence as the students, one by one carried up candles to place on the memorial. Juliet left hers up there, and then Swan, wordlessly, breathlessly, took his candle, and using a marker wrote one single, solitary word on it.

"Sorry."

It seemed so insignificant. But in the hearts of the students, it meant a lot.

And it meant the most in Juliet's heart.

As the ceremony closed, and the principal said his final speech, Swan walked off towards his car. Juliet followed close behind.

"Like, where are you going afterwards?" Juliet asked.

Swan looked off into the starry sky.

"I…really don't know, Juliet…back to the farm, probably. Back to digging graves. At least I'm not filling them myself. Or else…I might try to go back here, at least for a bit…"

Juliet leaped into his arms.

"Then let me be by your side."

Swan let a smile cross his lips.

"Juliet…I thought you'd never ask."

She giggled.

"Swan, if it weren't for the reunion, I might never have gotten the chance."