I here forth DISCLAIM X-MEN as my own.  Here's a WARNING that there is some profanity, sexual reference and Masochism.  If you cannot handle knives slicing flesh do not continue(story doesn't revolve around the masochism).  BOBBY, JOHN AND JEAN are ooc, so no bitchin' please. Archive is welcome.  Email [email protected].  PLEASE send feed back and suggestions.  The Settting is Movie-verse, partially Evolution and comics.  Rogue is based off of the movie-verse and Evolution Rogues.  Thanks Chiang for being my editor, and Tatiana for your help.  *Please read and REVIEW my plot- related short story, Masochist, and this story's first version, Staring At Trouble.*

Staring At Trouble Remix

Sunday, 9 June 2002 - Thursday, 13 June 2002 (Friday, 20 June 2002)

1. Unexpected

The clothes... my clothes, were the norm to everyone.  The clothes that covered almost every part of my body.  They knew the clothes would protect them from my lethal skin, and, of course, I was comfortable in them at all times, no matter what the temperature or conditions were.  And they knew that the clothes were a way for me to 'express myself", and in a way they did; the clothes expressed what needed to be hidden from them.

'They' were, obviously, the teachers and students that lived, taught, learned and formed a distinctive community at Xavier's Institute.  To them there was no way that what they thought they knew and what was true could be different, and I had no intentions of edifying them, but they would not remain ignorant forever.

After I had set my toothbrush holder down back its spot, I slipped on a black long sleeve shirt- the only kind I had- and walked out of my bathroom into my room.  I did not share a room with anyone, not yet anyway.  It was time for class and I would be late if I did not leave soon.  I walked to my bed, grabbed the books I needed and headed out of the room, closing the door behind me.

I usually sit in the back of my classes alone.  By choice.  When I was new Kitty and Jubilee would take turns sitting next to me.  I was Project Hope.  Their ephemeral entertainment.  Friendships that start that way prevail through nothing.  Eventually the decision to reject me was made when I almost killed Logan, though he had almost killed me first.  I doubt I missed out on anything of significant value.  Once in a while one of them would strike up a conversation and I would end it.

One of the major influences on my life and mental disposition would be Logan.  He is the reason I am here, although I think I would have ended up here anyway.  He did not stay long after rescuing me from Magneto.  Something about finding himself.  Leaving me with dog tags that he promised to return to reclaim.  Most people assumed certain things about me after that.  I realize I had become attached; there was maybe even a crush, but that was the past… though that may be too easy to say considering he is not here.

Scott walked into the class.  A wave of silence fell through the room quickly, crushing the earlier stridence.  I looked up at this with perplexity and suspicion.  Silence… for Scott?  They usually never took notice of him until he started teaching.  If a subterfuge had been planned this was not the way to act normal.  Bobby walked into the room furtively a moment later.

"Hello Bobby," Scott stated still walking to the front of the class, with his back towards us.

"Hey," he replied, immediately becoming morose.  He walked over, placed his things down and sat next to me.

"Take out your homework and pass it to the end of your row," he said to the class.

I looked at Bobby, once again confused; he had escaped a lecture on being tardy.  I disregarded the fact that he was sitting next to me.  A smile crossed his face.

"This is… unexpected," he whispered.

"What did I miss?" I asked quietly.

"They broke up," he stated.  I would have to thank him for his intricate answer.

"Who?"

"Our teacher and his girlfriend," he stated, still grinning. "I had no idea he'd take it this way."

I looked at Scott, who looked normal, and his voice had sounded normal, though I do not know him all that well.  I examined him again.  There was something different; he was not as… stiff.  The chatter slowly started up again.

"Maybe it was because they dated so long," Bobby said.

I wondered if dating someone for so long could do that to a person, make her or him stiff and tedious, or maybe it was just the lack of Jean that had brought about the nice change of attitude.  I pulled my homework out of my folder and passed it to Bobby who passed it down along with his.

"He's so cute this way," Kitty whispered to no one in particular.

I kept my eyes on Scott to see what other changes I could spot.  I think I did this all period because after class; as we walked down the hall, Bobby asked, "Do you have a thing for Scott now?"  There was some emotion I could not recognize in his voice, or maybe I did not want to recognize it.

"'A thing'… No," I answered.  His eyes lingered on mine for a second.

"Yeah, well we'll see how Jean took it in a second," he stated.  We had her class next; I doubted she would show any of her emotions in class.

We walked into her class; she was not there as she normally was.  I sat down in my usual spot, to my surprise Bobby sat next to me again.  It must have showed.

"Do you mind?" he asked.

"…No."

He smiled and Jean walked in.  Once again the infamous wave of silence returned.  Her face was impassive and her walk was arrogant.

"Pass your homework up," she commanded succinctly walking to the front of the class.

"Ooh, she sounds bitter," stated Bobby.  And she did.

"Bobby, do you have something to say?" Jean asked with a harsh tone and a glare.

"No, ma'am," he said. 

He turned to me and whispered, "I didn't think she heard."

"Let's get straight to work.  You have bookwork, pages 539 through 771.  This is the unit.  Do the section reviews, the chapter reviews and the unit review.   This is class work and homework.  Get to work," she commanded.  This was unquestionably retribution.

The students looked around in astonishment.

"Get to work," she said more sternly and with anger in her raised voice.  She walked to her desk and sat on it, looking across the room with a glare.  I opened my book and got out some paper and a pencil.  Bobby turned to say something just as Jean got up and walked promptly to the door, stopping as if she forgot something.  She turned around and all eyes were on her.

"Stay quiet, if I come back and you're talking, you will pay for it tomorrow," then she walked out the room.  As soon as she had been away for at least 10 seconds, the room burst out in conversation.  I heard random words, mostly "crazy bitch".  Jubilee and Kitty quickly turned around simultaneously, which added a weird effect to their turning around.

"What the hell is her problem?" Jubilee asked. "Why is she taking it out on us?  No wonder Scott dumped her bitchy, uptight ass."

 Bobby stifled a laugh.

"Don't even say anything, pervert," Kitty ordered, "So do you two wanna, like, share the work?"

"Yeah," Bobby answered, not denying that he was a pervert.  I nodded.  We figured out our parts and they turned back around unsynchronized, not leaving with the same effect they had entered with.  The room silenced down to some quiet talk.  A few minutes later Jean walked in with the same stolid look and the stiffly supercilious walk.  She went back to her desk, sat on it, crossed her arms and glared across the room once more.  Bobby and I got to work on our parts of the assignment.  Everyone worked for the rest of the class.  A ridiculous amount of sighs of frustration were released around the room.  Annoying me and moreover Jean.

"Stop sighing!" Jean said with vexation in her voice.

"I feel no sympathy for her, like at all," Kitty replied after class.  We all split up.  Bobby grinned and ruffled my hair before he left.  After he had walked away, I turned around feeling repugnance at his attempt to emulate Logan.

The next day, things were back to normal in the fact that I sat alone in class, but Jean and Scott's attitudes had not changed.

"Clear your desk, take out a pen," Jean commanded.  The sound of binders closing, papers shuffling and books closing filled the room.  Jean waited until it was quiet.

"For yesterday's behavior, yes, I heard you talking, you have a pop test," she looked around with a simper.  I had never heard of a pop test.  Did not know they existed, but they did in her disdainful mind.

All hell broke lose.  Jubilee stood up and told Jean what she thought about her new attitude before another remonstrance could be made.  Jean's mouth dropped down so low, I thought she could lick the floor.  Jean's astonished expression soon changed to a peevish one.  John was brazen -or imprudent- enough to start laughing, but soon stopped when her death glower landed on him.  Jubilee's eyes went wide as Jean moved towards her, and she in response recoiled.  In short Jean literally chased her around the room, then sent her to Xavier.  Thankfully she was so pissed off that there was no test, and Jubilee was the heroine.

They next day, we received a new student in Jean's class.  It was a girl; she had chestnut colored hair and showed no appearances of being a mutant.  And, she had come with Logan.  I thought I had recognized a change in both Scott and Jean's attitudes.  Jean's acrimonious behavior had disappeared.  Scott of course was not excited and Jean, well, was.  Why should she not be?  Logan was her chance for retribution.

Jean told the girl, whose name was Tessalyn, to pick a seat.  Bobby raised his hand.

"Yes?" jean said.

"Yeah, there's free seat right here…Tess," Bobby declared.

Jean rolled her eyes.

He had given her a nickname before she had even spoken.  Tess took the seat.  We did not do much in class that day, considering that Jean was as anxious to get out of class as we were.  Jubilee and Kitty immediately went to talking with Tess and Bobby.  I knew there would be no more attempts to restore Project Hope again.  That it had been left to rot in its desolation.  Oh yeah, she is my roommate.

I ran into Logan in the hall later that day before dinner.  He was waiting at my door.  "For me?' I thought curiously.  But of course not, Tess walked out, greeting him with a smile.  He was walking her to dinner.

He looked up at me and I saw a look of pure surprise, most likely a response to my appearance.  This was not how he had left me.  It was quickly overcome by an expression of wonder: should he ignore me, treat as if we were the best friends in the world, or use minimum interface, to keep my 'hopes' down.  As long as he did not say…

"Hey kid," he addressed.  I did not say anything back; I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at Tess.  This was his new mentoree.

"Hi," I said to her.  I was just asking for discomfiture.  She looked at Logan, and then me.

"Hi."

And, naturally, the awkward silence followed.  I walked towards them, and neither of them moved.  I walked past Logan, making sure to get as close as I could with out making any contact, to the door.  Everything about him was familiar, including his smell.  I pressed in the code and walked in, closing the door behind me, but staying near it.

"That was… unexpected," I heard Logan say.

"I heard she was like that, and she's my roommate," she replied with abhorrence in her voice.

"She's not that bad.  Don't believe every-," he started.

I stopped listening.  I was not 'that bad'.   Rejected twice.  In one day.  And oddly for the same person, Tess.  Should I be surprised or hurt?  I was not 'that bad'… if you had me under control.  All the pieces of Bobby's puzzle were set in place.  He sat next to me that day because he wanted something different.  Discovering I had no feelings for Scott assured him that no one stood in his way of using me as he desired.   But I was dead weight, and someone new came along, so he ignored me and for some reason it seemed typical, like it was from a TV show.  It was clear that Logan had not expected any change at the mansion, nonetheless me.  Things would be the same way he left them and maybe Tess and I would be best friends.  Well fuck that, and fuck him.  One would think he would be the last person, to fall for some fairy tale crap like that.  It is generally nothing to me when I get rejected or ignored, but the fact that Logan had replaced me with Tess and I just became some 'kid', made me feel like shit.

I would be skipping dinner tonight.  I looked around my room.  Our room… was entirely transformed.  It was littered with posters and other crap Kitty and Jubilee would most likely have.  I quickly ran into the bathroom.  It had not been infested yet.  I picked my toothbrush holder up, revealing the small, rectangular razor.

My razor.  Helped me in a way most people never could.  It let me experience touch on my bare skin when the counterfeit feel of hands ruffling my hair, contact over my clothes and of my own touch were not enough.  It was my counselor; through it I released my anger, pain, confusion and curiosity.  That shiny piece of metal that left scars that I did not mind.  No one could see and make sense of them anyway, since the scars were concealed under what everyone took as their protection.  I would have to find a new hiding spot for it.

I used that time during dinner to use my 'counselor'; I did not worry about being interrupted, since Tess would most likely be in the game room meeting people after dinner, giving me extra time.  Logan by now had found out that Jean was single.  The people who stood between them had been removed, giving him a chance.  Though he had one before.  I used my time to release my disappointment, confusion and resentment; and my disappointment slowly turned into anger.  The difference between confusion and anger was the amount of blood.  I cleaned up after myself and put the razor in the bottom drawer of my nightstand.  My sessions would most likely have to be during dinner.

I was stagnant after, as usual.  I decided I needed some food.  I rolled out of bed, and walked to the kitchen.  When I arrived, Scott was there sitting down at a table, looking at a newspaper.  I passed the table and went to the refrigerator.  I looked around for something good to eat.  I did not have much luck.  I had no idea where they kept the leftovers; they probably did not.  Some fruit, drinks, ketchup, a brown paper bag, and some other stuff, all crap.  I was not in the mood for cereal or breakfast.  So I grabbed a peach and walked to Scott's table.

"May I?" I asked.  He looked up, and then nodded, "Thanks."

He nodded again.  I sat down and bit into my peach.

"Are you avoiding Jean?" I asked.  Maybe those were not the best choice of words.  Maybe it was the blood loss.  He looked up again and I could not tell if he was angry or not.

"I didn't… sorry," I said quietly.

"And Logan," he said, and then looked back down.  I was half way done with my peach when I spoke again.

"And Tess," I added, "Bobby, Kitty and Jubilee."

"What?" he left his head up.

"I'm avoiding them, too," I said.

"Why?"

"I-," Jean and Logan followed by Bobby and Tess entered.  That notorious wave of silence reappeared, starting with me, then Logan and Jean and finally Bobby and Tess.  It was remarkably tense.  They looked a little surprised.  'You aren't the only ones getting over someone,' I thought.  The conversation we were having obviously had nothing to do with that.  Bobby opened his mouth to say something and I turned back to Scott.

"I think you know," I answered.  He glanced at them, and then nodded.  Logan left without saying a word, and Tess followed.  Jean and Bobby went to the refrigerator.  Jean got two sodas and handed them to Bobby.  From the corner of my eye, I could see that Bobby was looking at us.  Jean got a beer for Logan and a soda and walked out, followed by Bobby a moment after.  I finished my peach.  'Hope he doesn't sit next to me tomorrow, and nag about Scott and me,' I thought.

"…Bye," I said getting up and throwing my peach seed away.

"Goodnight," he replied.  I walked back to my room.  I switched out of my regular clothes.  I was dead asleep before Tess returned.

The next day it was not Bobby who sat next to me, it was his messenger John.

"Hi," he greeted.  I did not remember touching Scott, but it seemed that I had taken on some of his traits.  I nodded with out looking up.

"Sup?"

I looked up at him and answered honestly, "I don't know how to answer that."

"Aren't you glad Jean's back to normal?  I thought she was bad enough before Scott dumped her.  Luckily Logan came back just in time with Tess…" he trailed off looking at me.  I did not look up at him.

"Yeah... she and Bobby are dating," he stated.  What was he trying to do?

"That's nice," I responded.

Jean came in the classroom.  As she walked by she glanced at me.  And on that note John said, "I heard about last night."

"Heard about what?" I asked confused.

"You and Scott," he answered.

"Huh?" I said.

"How you two had a date last night," he confirmed.

"No we didn't.  Who told you that?" I inquired.

"Bobby," he stated bluntly.

"Is he spreading a rumor?" I asked getting angry.

"No, I don't think he would do that to you, Rogue."

"Is he getting Tess to do it?" I asked sardonically.  He did not answer.  Jean started talking.  She was telling us our next assignment, some worksheet, "Blah, blah, blah.  Blah, blah."

John leaned towards me and whispered, "So do you like Scott?"

 "No," I answered.

"Is the answer really no, Rag?" he asked.

"What?!  I'll rag you, boy!" I retorted raising my voice slightly.

"I meant- I- a nickna-… Oops?" he stuttered.

"Don't do it again." I said.

"That sounded like a Britney Spears song," he stated grinning.

We looked up to see Jean looking over at us and we stopped talking.  She then started passing out a handout.  When she got to me, she looked me in the eye, with a skeptical expression on her face.  Pure suspicion.

"Thank you," I said and gave her a feigned smile, wanting to tell her off.  I was starting to become exceedingly irritated with her and Bobby.  John waited until she was out of hearing distance.

"Look, Bobby sent me here to ask you about Scott," he revealed.

"I don't see how that is any of his business," I answered.  I looked over at Bobby who in return was looking at us; he looked away.

 "It isn't, and this is… elementary," John declared seemingly irritated with himself.

"Then why'd you do it?" I asked looking at him.

"He begged me too," he replied.  Begged?  I pictured Bobby on his knees…

"Did he give you any sexual favors?" I questioned.

"I will ignore that," he responded.  And that meant?

"I don't see how it matters since he has a girlfriend," I replied.

"Maybe he likes you... too."

"I think it's more of a control thing."

He looked thoughtful, knitting his brows as he considered my last statement.  He glanced over at Bobby, who was once again looking at us.  His mouth tilted up slightly and his eyes slightly narrowed.  He turned back to me, "I wouldn't doubt it."

1. Unexpected

Sorry it took so long to post this.  I originally posted this on 24th, but it got deleted. : (  Oh, well, I'm working on chapter four right now (not posting 2 until I get some feedback), suggestions and reviews are very nice. : D