I recently read a story on the Stargate Novel Archive called 'To Live Again' by Ynette. I had somehow missed this story and really enjoyed it (check it out!) Of course, it made my imagination go into overdrive and my muse forced me to begin writing. The following story is, therefore, based on that plot, although I have changed the story significantly. I do however, want to make sure and give full credit to the author of that story. I do not know if she continues to follow Sg1 fanfiction, but if so – please give me a shout – and I hope you don't mind me borrowing elements of your story. In this case imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

This is a Jack/Daniel/teamfic story (NOT slash – friendship only). As for S/J – please be warned that I am a shipper. This story is not planned primarily as an S/J fic – definitely more Daniel/Jack/team – but I can't guarantee that it won't slip in. So please, be aware and don't get upset if it makes its way into the story.

"But Daniel, you can't leave!" Sam cried. She reached out to touch him, to make him look at her, but he jerked away, his eyes still cast down. "We're a team, we're friends. You can't go."

"I've already made my decision", he answered quietly. "General Hammond knows. I'm just going to clear out my office and my locker and then I'll be gone."

"But Daniel -"

"NO!" He walked away from her and stood staring at the row of books he had as yet to pack. "No Sam", he said more quietly. "I have to. I – can't stay here. Not after what I've done."

"But you didn't do anything Daniel. It was a simple mistake. You're not perfect – hell, none of us are – and we all make mistakes. We just pick ourselves back up and move on."

"And Jack? Does he pick himself up as well? Oh no, he can't, can he? He's lying half dead in the Infirmary and he may never be able to get up again."

"Dr. Frasier says it's too early to tell. She said he may just be suffering spinal shock and that after a few days he could be okay."

"But she can't be sure, can she? And anyway, even if he does get better, I could have killed him and I did put him in the Infirmary. I can't – I – I can't be responsible for a friend's death or even injury. Not like this." He turned on her suddenly. "Don't you get it? I screwed up! It was something I should have been able to do in my sleep but I've become so god-damned arrogant I thought I didn't need to read the inscription closely – and look what happened. No, that's it, I'm done."

"You're taking the coward's way out?" she said harshly. "Just because you made a mistake you're going to leave us? We're a team Daniel and we need you. What happens if you're gone and something happens to us because you're not there? How will you feel then?"

"I guess I won't know, will I?" he answered angrily. "Look, hadn't you better get back to the Infirmary? I'm sure Jack will want to see you when he wakes up."

"And you Daniel", she said more calmly, although she still felt angry and hurt.

"Oh, I think he'll be happier without me there. I expect he'll be pretty pissed – if I know Jack."

"Yeah – I think that's your problem Daniel – you know jack!" With that she turned away and left him to his books and his pity party. He was right, she needed to be by the Colonel's side.

"Daniel Jackson, will you not go and see O'Neill. Your presence will be missed."

Hell – now he had Teal'c to contend with. He should have just left and sent for his stuff. "Uh, I'm a little busy here Teal'c", he answered.

By this time Teal'c had entered his office and was looking around at the mess and the boxes. With an uncharacteristic frown he faced his friend. "What are you doing?" he asked bluntly.

"I'm leaving", he answered calmly, continuing to place books in a box. "I've already told Hammond and Sam. I – I can't stay here anymore. I've had enough. I lost Sha're, I've lost countless other friends and now I almost lost Jack – and it was totally my fault."

He glanced up at that moment and Teal'c was shocked at the dead look in his friend's eyes. "My friend", he said, reaching out his hand and laying on Daniel's shoulder. "You take this on yourself when there is no need. O'Neill will not blame you."

Daniel let out a bitter laugh. "Well then you do not know him like I do Teal'c. He's definitely going to blame me."

"He may indeed give you a hard time Daniel, but you know it is just his way and means nothing. You are like a brother to him and he finds it easy to forgive you, especially when your actions were made in error. Where there may be no forgiveness however is if you leave, especially without speaking with him. For that he will see as a betrayal – and it is something O'Neill finds almost impossible to forgive."

Teal'c's words sent a bolt of fear down his spine – because he knew that they were true. If he left now – Jack would never forgive him. But at the same time, he couldn't stay. He'd made a stupid mistake – one a rank amateur should not have made. It had not only managed to get Jack seriously injured, it had resulted in the death of – another person. That was something he refused to even think about right now, knowing it would send him spiraling down into depression from which he might never recover. He needed to wait until he was gone – until he was alone – before he'd think about her.

"I'll – I'll write him a letter Teal'c", he said. "I'll explain everything to him."

"Do not do this my friend. You will regret it and it will wound O'Neill."

"More than he's already wounded?" Daniel asked. He then shrugged the other man's hand off his shoulder. "I have to pack Teal'c. Thanks for dropping by but – there's no more to say."

Teal'c watched him for a moment, hurting greatly for his friend. "Please let me contact you Daniel", he finally said. "I want to make sure you are safe."

"Thanks Teal'c but – I have to go. I'll – try and send a note." He turned away, knowing if he kept looking at Teal'c he'd end up in tears and would lose all his resolution. No – it was best this way.

The Jaffa stood for a few moments, hoping that the younger man would allow him to help, would turn to him. After the minutes stretched on he realized it was not going to happen. If he had been O'Neill – then maybe – but he was not as close to Daniel Jackson as was the Colonel – even though Daniel had forgiven him, the ghost of Sha're sometimes still walked between them.

"Go safely my friend", he finally said. "We are always here for you."

He felt like he was climbing up a never-ending ladder that was covered in grease. He knew he could fall at any moment and go plummeting back down – down – down for eternity, never to hit bottom. Up ahead was a tiny pinprick of light but it was so far – too far. He couldn't make it, but he couldn't stop either.

"Colonel?" A faint voice. Was that coming from that place so far above? "Colonel?" He heard it again and it seemed to make the climb easier, faster. He kept hearing a voice – no was that voices? They were helping him to move forward, to climb, not to slip back.

"Aaargh", he finally arrived and instead of the relief he had expected to feel there was –pain. "God!" he muttered. To him it sounded like a shout, to those listening it was a sound barely heard.

"Is he okay Janet?" Sam asked. The Colonel looked terrible. He had a cut that ran from his forehead, across the bridge of his nose and down to his cheek, barely missing his eye. His eyes themselves were black, now turning to brilliant shades of green and purple. Janet figured someone had wacked him hard across the face with some kind of weapon. It had left him bruised and bloody and made Sam wince just looking at him.

The face wasn't, of course, his biggest problem. He'd also suffered a broken arm, a cracked collar bone and then there was the injury to his back.

She'd actually heard Janet swear when the doctor had seen the wound on his back. She had shouted immediately for X-Ray's and an MRI and hadn't even stopped to reassure his team. The look on her face had made the rest of SG1 stand frozen in fear. At first Sam thought they were going to lose the Colonel. It was only later that she'd found out that Janet had been afraid he'd broken his back.

By the time the petite doctor had finished and had come out to speak with the Colonel's teammates, they had all convinced themselves that things were bad, that he was on death's door. Actually, she took that back – Teal'c was optimistic – but then, he usually was. Daniel and she, however, couldn't help but think about Janet's face and what it had meant.

"Janet?" Sam stood up as the exhausted looking doctor came into the small waiting area. "How is he?"

"Stable", she replied, sitting down on one of the chairs. "It was close for a while. He'd lost a lot of blood and he was in shock but we managed to bring him around."

"And he'll be okay?" Daniel asked, looking almost as white as the Colonel.

"Well, he'll live Daniel. As for okay – "

"Janet?" Sam looked at her in shock. "What are you saying? What's wrong with the Colonel?"

Janet sighed and rubbed a hand over her eyes. Suddenly a cup of steaming coffee appeared in front of her. She looked up to see a sympathetic looking Teal'c standing in front of her. "Thanks Teal'c, you're godsend", she told him, not realizing the irony of her words.

"You are welcome Dr. Frasier. You look tired."

"I am – thank you", she repeated. "As for the Colonel – well, he was wounded on his back – it looks like someone hit him with a sword or axe. Anyway, that's what caused the blood loss – there was a huge eight inch gash which we had to stitch up."

"But it's okay now?" Sam asked, a questioning frown on her face.

"The gash? Yes, but that wasn't the worst damage."

"For god's sake Janet", Daniel growled. "Just tell us!"

"Okay.", she looked up and decided to just give it to them straight. There was no nicer way to say this. "The weapon, whatever it was, was wielded with great force and his spine was damaged. We don't know how badly at this point as there's still a lot of swelling – but there is a possibility that the Colonel won't walk again."

Stunned silence greeted her words. The possibility of death was always there – but none of them had ever considered something like this, not for Jack. They knew that someone as active as him would find it almost worse than death to end up in a wheelchair.

"Oh God", breathed Sam. "Is there anything you can do?"

"I've administered methlprednisolone, which helps keep the swelling down and has been shown to help. Other than that we're keeping him in traction for now and sedated. We've also had to intubate him, although I'm hoping we'll be able to wean him off of that in a day or two. The damage was in the lower back area so his breathing shouldn't be permanently affected. I'm afraid for now all we can do is wait."

"Can we see him?" Carter asked.

"He's in intensive care so you can each go in for a few minutes. I can't have you getting in the way of my nurses so I'm afraid you can't stay long. As soon as things settle down I'll let you know and then you can take turns sitting with him for longer periods. Just – don't give up hope."

"We shall not Dr. Frasier", Teal'c answered solemnly. The other two nodded, but although it was a half-hearted effort on both their parts.

When it was Daniel's turn to see Jack he'd almost refused. As worried as he was, he didn't know if he could handle seeing what he'd done. Still, he'd forced himself to go in. It was what he deserved, after all. It would be part of his punishment to witness the terrible wounds on his friend. He stood looking at him for what seemed forever, but which he knew could only have been mere minutes. He wanted to reach out and take the still hand in his, and tell his friend to get well, but he couldn't. He had caused this – and he was sure Jack would blame him. The last thing he needed was to hear the voice of the man who may have condemned him to half a life.

He turned and left the room, with only one look back. "Goodbye Jack", he said softly. "I'll miss you."

"Colonel", the voice said again, "Can you hear me?"

"Aaargh", he groaned. "Ye-" he tried to answer, but his throat didn't want to work. He felt something cold – metal – slip past his lips and suddenly the cool sweet relief of ice in his mouth.

"Is that better?" that voice asked. He was sure he recognized it, although he couldn't for the life of him recall any names.

"Yeah", he finally managed to get out a real word. "More?"

Another ice cube slipped into him mouth and he lay there, enjoying the soothing cold.

"Can you open your eyes Sir?" that damned voice wouldn't let him alone. "Come on Sir, just try and open them for me."

Okay fine, he thought. If that's what you want! He tried, really he did, but someone – some practical joker – probably a Marine – had glued his eyelids together.

"Ca – " he tried to say. Suddenly a cool cloth gently touched his eyelids, one at a time. It felt heavenly. After a minute he tried again to lift his eyelids and this time he was able to – just a crack.

"That's it Colonel", the voice sounded happy. Good – maybe then it'd leave him alone! "You can still do better than that. We want to see those gorgeous eyes of yours."

Gorgeous? What? His eyes were just plain old brown, weren't they? Now if you wanted to talk about gorgeous –

"Cart –"

"I'm here Sir", another voice sounded. Who the hell was that? Oh yeah – the one with the gorgeous eyes. He wondered if she'd had to open hers too?

"Can you open your eyes for Janet Sir", her voice said.

What the hell was it with the voices and his eyes? He forced himself to open them some more – although how the hell anyone was supposed to open something that weighed four or five hundred pounds he had no idea. Finally however, they seemed reasonably open – if the voice's reaction was anything to go by.

"That's it Sir", the first one exclaimed. "How are you feeling?"

He looked – or tried to look – out of open eyes that didn't work worth a damn. Everything was blurry. "Why?" he gasped out.

"Why Sir?" the voice said, sounding puzzled.

"Why – eyes?" he asked. It seemed to be way to much work for him and he couldn't figure out any reason why they really had to be open.

"Uh – I just wanted to make sure you're back with us Sir. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

Didn't she ask him that already? He was feeling very confused and his eyelids were beginning to close. He just wanted to sleep, that's all.

"Sir?" Ah – the gorgeous eyes voice.

"Hmmm?" He didn't want to ignore her, although it was becoming increasingly difficult to speak.

"We're here Colonel and you're getting better. Just rest and we'll be here when you wake up."

"Kay", he murmured, and then was asleep.

Sam looked at the doctor. "Well?"

"I don't know Sam", she answered. "He's still pretty doped up so it will take a while for him to be more coherent. It was a good sign that eventually he did open his eyes – but beyond that I just don't know. As for his legs – we'll have to wait until he's awake before we can test him."

Sam just nodded and continued to look at the Colonel. He looked so ill, so weak, so vulnerable – and she felt like a voyeur by sitting here and watching him. "Oh Colonel", she said, "please be okay." She reached out and gently took his hand. At this moment she didn't care what other people thought. He needed her – he needed all of them and damn it – they'd be there for him. Everyone except Daniel.