Inspired by a post on Tumblr

empathzu tumblr com /post/28247318787/this-is-what-happens-when-your-dad-starts-dating

#this is what happens when your dad starts dating the local "government arms dealer" #you get a goofy step-dad #that can kill with his pinky #but mostly a goofy step-dad

"Keep the door open, Stiles," Chris called from the kitchen.

Dammit, how did he always know? Derek was so quiet, there was no way Chris heard his footsteps.

"Aw, but," Stiles pouted, "Allison didn't have her door open when Scott was over!"

"And when was this?" Chris' face was dark as he walked into the living room.

"Oh, well, that would be uh," Stiles spluttered. Chris was making his scary face. That look never boded anything good for Scott's future.

"Stiles."

"Um, when he, kind of, entered the building in a fashion that could be considered stealthy, I suppose it depends on the observer, uh, during a time of the day with, traditionally, a low amount of sun coverage."

Stiles heard Derek snort behind him, but Chris didn't seem very amused. Stiles turned to Derek, looking for support, but all he found was one of Derek's expressive eyebrows giving him an oh-no-this-is-all-yours look. Jerk. Well, the best defense was disappearing.

"So, we're gonna go upstairs now…later!" Stiles grabbed at Derek and darted for the staircase. When they reached the top Stiles pulled out his phone and started a text to Allison.

Before he could send it, though, he received one from Chris.

keep the door open, i'll know

Dear God, his father knew how to pick 'em.