Since I got a new room mate, she's gotten me interested in Gundam Wing again. Watching it as an adult is strange. It's so dry. DX

I usually like to write about what I didn't see in the show, and this time it's 'slice of life' and 'comedy'.

This story was originally a 'one shot', but it has gone above and beyond that. I want to share some of the hilarity I experienced moving into adulthood, through the gundam guys. :) Hope you like it.

Chapter 1 - A Shot

How easy was it for a semi-casual gathering to turn into a full blown nightmare? Effortless. It was intended to be a refreshing change for Heero to decidedly attend a function held by the Peacecraft family; of all the times he could have chosen to be social around her, he ended up picking that night. It was because many of the current highlights in politics were going to be there, it seemed like a harmless get-together.

Heero felt his current schooling was repetitive and he desired to be put in an advanced class setting. If he were to smooth talk the right big wigs, he may receive sponsorship for the transfer, possibly even a reference to add to his portfolio. It would only serve to speed the transfer process, but that's all he needed.

Remaining on his toes was a must, Relena was trying to keep tabs on him since the night began. The girl's infatuation with him knew no bounds. "She planned it to be like this," Heero said as he eyed the dance floor for her spys. "She knew I was looking to talk to these people, now, here they all are."

"Why do you have to be such a stick in the mud," Duo commented, his arms slung carelessly behind his head. It was only a couple hours into the suit occasion and the fibers of his coat needed stretching. "You're being paranoid; how could she have known you wanted to take an advanced class? It's a coincidence."

He huffed, "I've been talking about it with the school's chief of staff for the last couple weeks; it must have gotten brought up at one of their meetings." He was on a list 'somewhere' in the transfer section and he assumed Relena must have seen it; she was always deeply involved with school issues. "Damn...I have to stay, I want this," he said with scorn for the mingling he had to do. Whether or not the party was set up to corner him especially, it was still an opportunity.

"At least at the end of the night, you'll be able to get out of the rat race," Duo snarked because that's what school life felt like to him. Advanced classes meant placement jobs with little to no class time; if only he had the money, he'd go along with Heero's move. "Sitting in a stuffy room and listening to a fossil preach, it doesn't seem to be your bag."

"And this is supposed to be better?" Making small talk with pompous fat cats wasn't much his 'bag' either.

"It's quicker," Duo smiled.

"Small blessings, I guess," he responded. This was the perfect setting for Relena to slip her two cents in as she pleased, he hated it. Sure enough, when Heero began talking to a man in a sharp looking white suit, she showed up. "I'll get us some drinks," was the line she said before trotting off only seconds later.

Before anyone could tell her not to bother, "Don't worry," the suit said, "I won't tell anyone if you have any, you've earned it. Besides, I'd be honored to share a drink with the famous pilot of Wing Zero."

"Sure," he said with a resentful, uncertain, flattery.

"You shouldn't turn down an offer from Ms. Peacecraft; you know, she has plenty of connections you could benefit from. Her word is pretty powerful." His best efforts to convince Heero otherwise fell short of succeeding.

This guy must have seen Relena's interest in him; her body language was rather obvious, as she always made it. Heero was aware she could act as a reference, it would have looked good on any job application, but he couldn't bare to put up with constantly being followed. He also found it ridiculous that everyone fawned over her so much, it got under his skin.

The girl returned with their drinks and he took his first of many sips. 'Not bad,' Heero thought as the orange-golden liquid washed down his throat. The drink had two layers of color; it began as bright orange on top, that eventually bled into a deep, syrup red at the bottom.

A a heated conversation with the man in white ensued. Heero was sure to get him to agree to sign off as a reference on his school application before departing from the small group. He fled to report this victory to Duo, who was found loving the scenery. "What are you doing?" Heero asked as he watched him prop up his bored head. He had a feeling that his good news was going to go unheard, Duo looked like he had his eye on someone.

"I want to try and pick one of them up," he said and drew attention to a girl in a form fitting dress, "But it's hard because I don't know anybody here. How can I tell which one's got a guy? I tried to see if she met up with anyone...but it's so cluttered at that table," he said and eyed the curves the girl sported. She'd be the perfect distraction if she weren't attached to anyone.

Heero shook his head; was this guy's radar always on? "Ask Relena; she knows everyone here," he said, not thinking it would interest Duo so much, but it made him stand up from his chair.

"Not a bad idea," he started on his search for Relena. Duo caught what Heero had in his hand, from the corner of his eye, a split second before it went totally unseen. "A drink," he said and turned around completely, "How'd you get that?"

He pointed a finger in Relena's direction, "Same person," he said and watched Duo continue on his merry way. Heero took up a seat at the table and started scanning the room for his next target. He was looking for a woman who had been on the board since it was established thirty years ago, so he could wax nostalgic with the crazy old bitty.

Meanwhile, Duo was weaving through a detached crowd. They all seemed to be in circles composed of a half dozen people or more, speaking passionately about their topic of choice. The whole point of the party was to gain recognition and bump elbows with people normally not within arms reach; there was no time for jokes and idle chit chat. For them.

He finally isolated the blond ambassador to get cheat notes on the 'younger less noteworthy' people on the guest list. "I have a quick question for you," he began.

"Oh, Duo. You're just the person I wanted to see. How's Heero?" she said abruptly.

This caught him off guard. "...h-he's doing good." Duo then got a devious smile on his face, "You know, I never really noticed how strongly you felt toward him. What's the deal?" He was trying to play matchmaker for her, hoping she'd maybe do the same for him.

"I've been trying to talk to him all night, but he's a hard person to get across to." She wrung her hands nervously, "I was hoping he'd have a few drinks to...loosen up... and enjoy himself," she said.

Duo held up a hand, "I had a feeling this would happen," he said and reached into his pocket, emerging with a small syringe. It had two cc's of red liquid inside, compliments of Trowa and the traveling circus folk. "This is one hundred-ten proof alcohol; I can put it in his drink," he said and quickly ignited Relena's anxiety.

"No-I...well..." she battled it back and forth in her head.

With a shrug, "You didn't sound too sure of that 'no'. Want him to talk, or not?" Duo said convincingly(connivingly).

"Yes," she blurted, possibly a result of the wine she herself had earlier.

"Can do," he took the plastic device and loaded it in his coat sleeve for easy access. "As for payment: Mind telling me which one of your friends is single? I'm looking for a nice girl; someone who's fun, sense of humor, you know," he straightened his collar. She agreed to tell him if he got the alcohol in Heero's cup. "What does she take me for? Sheesh."

Now that he would be receiving something in return, Duo was more than willing to do some underhanded bidding on Relena's behalf. Not that getting Heero drunk was any real crime, he contemplated how he would do it many times before. The goal was to loosen him up so he would talk, hence the small amount needed. The guy was too serious for his own good, he felt this was something they needed.

Before Duo got too close to his target, he made sure Heero wasn't talking to anyone, lest they see his drink become tainted with the 'spike'. "Hey buddy," he said and bumped into him, "Sorry 'bout that." This shook the ice in his glass, effectively masking the sound of the splash made by the syringe emptying. Duo disposed of the tool in a nearby plant and sat down.

"Good, you're back. I got the referrals I needed, and a few extra. I'm going to head out," Heero finished his drink in one long swig. "The bottom was strong," he cringed, figuring the syrup would have had more of a sweet edge to it. He glared at it in confusion.

Duo panicked, "You don't have to go so soon! Come on, I got the run down on that girl I pointed out. Be my wing man." He didn't know if the drink was too strong to handle in one gulp, so he didn't want to let Heero go so soon. Would he be okay?

"Wing man? You'll be fine," he completely dismissed the idea.

"You have a girl chasing you and couldn't be more bothered with her; can't you help your buddy out?" Duo tried to butter him up, "I stutter when the girls are too pretty," lies, "And there's so many of them. You can't leave me hanging, I'm helpless on my own!" He began to push his friend into submission and it seemed to be working. To the dismay of Duo, Heero managed to break away from capture when a few people wearing similar, official-looking suits stopped him to talk.

Duo tapped an impatient finger against his elbow, waiting for them to finish. A ruthless tug pulled him around a pillar, one of the many throughout the hall. "The hell?" he exclaimed.

"Where's his drink?" Relena asked, sounding flustered.

"He downed it! I thought he would keep sipping the thing!"

She covered her mouth, "Duo, what if he passes out?" Relena knew it would ruin his reputation to be so drunk, especially after getting such boisterous reviews.

"I don't know. I measured it factoring in how much he wouldn't drink from the glass." Duo meant, he assumed Heero wouldn't finish all the way to the bottom of his drink. It was the status quo for the bourgeois at the time.

"Well...didn't you have a back up plan?" she tried to formulate an 'abort' for their current snag. Heero really dropped the bomb on them with this.

"A guy like him doesn't usually need a back up plan. He's predictable," at lest predictable in the sense that Duo had gotten used to. "We should move him around, maybe he'll burn some of it off," he suggested.

"I could ask him to escort me to my car." She thought about how to make the request seem more genuine.

"Couldn't we get him to walk around here?" Duo said and watched Heero crack wise with the newly found group. Thus far, he was doing alright.

Relena shook her head, "I think it would still be too obvious, eventually." They didn't know if level of impairment he was going to endure was going to be easily hidden. "I have to find an excuse." After giving it some thought she walked right up to him and took his arm lightly. "Heero? Pardon the intrusion, but I have some things in my car out back that I need help to take it in. Could you give me a hand?" Again, her antics were received well by others, not by the one it was intended for. "Please?" she asked so sweetly that one of the others egged Heero on. The other few looked jealous that Relena wasn't accosting them for help.

"I'll help," he said and parted from the fancy suits. He hooked his thumb in the direction of the exit, "I got a ride with Mr. Fisher," his current sociology teacher, "Let's hurry. I want to get back before he leaves." His teacher was coping out early, and agreed to give him a ride home in a few minutes.

"You don't need to worry about that," Relena began, "Phil lives in the opposite direction that you're going, I'll take you home instead. You should stay a while anyway, it'll look good on you," she said with a little laughter in her voice. "Could one of you make sure to tell Mr. Fisher I've commandeered Heero?" She tugged his arm, "This way," and pulled him out of the room entirely.

Duo felt abandoned and leaned out the double doors to yell, "What about me? I'm still here!" She hadn't told him where her single friends were yet, he was kind of annoyed.

Relena paused, reached into her pocket and emerged with a small cluster of orange tickets. She walked over to Duo's upper half sticking out the door and handed him the bundle. "One drink per ticket, go easy, I'll be back," she said and continued to take Heero to a quieter location.

Luckily for her, within the same compound, there were private meeting rooms available for smaller gatherings. She began searching each room for an exit that would likely never happen. "It's in one of these."

"We could walk around the building to get to your car," he suggested.

"There's an emergency exit in one of these rooms. It leads right to the parking lot, I'm sure," she said and continued the fallacious hunt. This went on for several more minutes until Relena peered into a room that had a billiard table, balls racked and ready to go. "What's this?" It couldn't have been a more perfect distraction. "I haven't played this in a long time. Have a game with me before we head out?" Relena was stalling for time to let the booze soak in, 'This could work,' she thought and wished she could thank whoever set up the table.

Heero had intentionally downed his drink so he could leave sooner, this was a step in the wrong direction. "I'm not interested," he declined and looked down the hall, hoping to see a sign lit up with the word 'exit'. "I-" he was cut off with the sound of a loud crack.

Relena was already breaking the pool balls. They scattered and one of the striped balls sunk. "I only need to get ice, it can wait. Play one game with me," she said and held out the pool stick, "You're 'solid'," she said with a smirk.

He obliged, feeling the effects of his first few mouthfuls of alcohol. Or was it possibly the flattery she fed him? His body felt light and kind of warm too. Heero loosened his tie and released the first button on his shirt to gain some mobility. "One game, then we walk around the building," he said. Pulling the tie over his head, he discarded it on a nearby chair.

They carefully played each of their turns like a pro, apparently Relena wasn't the only fan of the game. "Last shot," she said. There was only a stripe and eight ball left over. She sunk the final stripe. "Now for the win," she smiled, "Do you want to make this interesting?"

He was feeling more tipsy than before, and there was no stopping the words, "Why not?" from escaping his loosened lips. He immediately noted his own behavior shifting, 'Shouldn't have drank that so quick,' he thought, oblivious to extra surprise dropped in his glass.

"I say..." she thought for a moment, "If you win, you can go back in with everyone and I'll get the ice. If I win, I get a kiss," she said with an enchanting smile.

I think it cleaned up nicely. ;)