Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I just make stories

My inner muse is a wee bit tired with my current chapter stories, so I am appeasing her by writing this two-shot. Oh, and a little note: I don't hate Sakura at all (well, Shippuden Sakura), but she just fit in so perfectly into this role that I just had to use her.

Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is the youngest CEO of the widely popular and successful Uchiha Corp, and did someone say major hottie? Every newspaper, magazine, talk show, and news program wants an interview with the man who's got it all, but you have to go through his PR if you want even a chance.

Naruto Uzumaki smiled at his reflection in the mirror.

Then he slapped himself on the cheek; not wide enough, dammit!

Looking back in the mirror, Naruto groaned and instantly regretted slapping himself and cursed himself for being so damn impulsive.

'Idiot.' He could practically hear his rival—and best friend since kindergarten—Sasuke Uchiha's voice insulting him in his mind.

Sighing, Naruto began to inspect the damage he had inflicted on his already scarred cheeks. Massaging the red areas surrounding his whisker-like scars, Naruto sighed in relief. He hadn't slapped himself too hard, so the reddening area should turn back to a normal color in about three minutes, less even.

Hey, what could he say? Naruto healed quickly, always has.

Still, that shouldn't mean that he should keep slapping himself. Maybe it was about time to kick that particular morning ritual.

But still, learning to stop attacking himself aside, that did not change the fact that his usual smile was not wide and happy enough! Today was an important day and he needed to look his very best.

His tan, lean body was covered up by a black suit; his best 'casual' suit, or whatever the hell Sasuke referred to it as. While disliking the stiff feeling he got whenever he had to wear the jacket, preferring to simply roll up his sleeves of his white dress shirt to feel more comfortable, today was an important day so he would wear the suit Sasuke had bought for him. Naruto was defiant, though, and was wearing his favorite orange tie. He didn't care if Sasuke said that it looked ridiculous in the business world. He looked fine as hell and he was so working it. Besides, his hair was the loudest shade of blonde that the stuffy business world had ever seen, and it was all natural so they could get bent in his opinion.

It wasn't as if his tie was going to make that big of a deal today, even though it was a big day. Sure, Naruto was told to look his best, but he wasn't going to be the center of attention; Sasuke was.

Today his boss—and best friend/rival—Sasuke Uchiha was coming back home from his important international meeting.

Of course, that in itself was not a really HUGE deal; Sasuke went out of the country for business all the time and would occasionally bring Naruto to tag along. He claimed that bringing Naruto was a 'stress reliever' because he had to deal with idiots all day and couldn't slap them like he did with Naruto, who suffered more than one light punch to the head during these trips. But Naruto knew that his best friend brought him along because he felt lonely when out of his own country so Naruto agreed when he could.

He couldn't accept every time, though, like with this trip. Despite Sasuke being his boss, Naruto still had a lot of work to do and being out of the country made it rather hard to do.

Naruto was Sasuke's PR. He never really knew what the 'PR' stood for, though. Some people he worked with had told him that it stood for 'Public Relations' since technically, that was Naruto's job. He had been recently upgraded from Sasuke's minion…ASSISTANT handling Sasuke's work schedule to Sasuke's PR handling Sasuke's new media fan base. Not that that was new, he practically did the same thing in high school anyways.

Sasuke had told him that the 'PR' stood for 'Personal Representative', which Naruto had liked a lot more. It made more sense to him, anyways. In high school, each of the presidents, vice-presidents, secretaries, treasurers, and the other never-ending important-sounding high-ranked 'officers' of Sasuke's freakishly large fan club had always asked Naruto questions about Sasuke since the blonde knew him best.

Not that he gave them any helpful answers, though. Back then he just told them the truth: that Sasuke was and forever would be a bastard intent on ruling the world with his demonic powers and would not be satisfied unless the sky was red and the national anthem was screams of pain; though that answer tended to give him harder hits to the head than Sasuke's half-assed punches during those trips.

So as Sasuke's Personal Representative, Naruto had to be there when Sasuke was picked up from the airport. He'd be there anyways as Sasuke's best friend, but today required him to be more than the Uchiha's best friend but as the youngest CEO of Uchiha Corp's history's Public Relation.

Sasuke had already been the only surviving heir to the company, but he was only recently named CEO because only now at age twenty-three did Sasuke feel that he was ready. Technically, he should have inherited the company at age eighteen, being the only heir and all after the infamous 'Uchiha Massacre', or so the media called it after his parents and older brother were killed overseas. It was an accident, a drunk driver, but the media had spun the story into a Princess Di-ish conspiracy theory.

The endless theories went from rival companies taking them down to supernatural beings being involved. The worst theory by far was that that weird blonde boy that hung out with the only survivor with the strange markings on his cheeks had cursed the family. The reporters would not leave Sasuke alone for months, trying to get his opinion on their latest story about his parents' death. They were particularly interested in how he felt about inheriting the company since that used to be his elder brother's role, asking if his cursed friend had arranged for his parent's death so Sasuke could become successful.

Still, Sasuke had insisted that he graduate college before inheriting the company. Which he did, on high honors and a year early so the damn prodigy bastard decided to stay for friggin' graduate school! And finished THAT early as well! Damn genius.

Now that he was finally the youngest CEO of Uchiha Corp's history having inherited the position from his proxy Kakashi Hatake, the media was all over the poor bastard! This recent trip and deal had gotten Uchiha Corp a lot of publicity so the media would definitely be after him today.

And so enter Naruto.

Ever since the media had taken the tragic death of his family to such drastic proportions, Sasuke has hated the media with a vengeance. Too bad the bastard was, according to his adoring fans, 'sex-on-legs' and a 'major hottie'. And because of his intense and freakish popularity, every newspaper, magazine, talk-show, and news program wanted an interview with him since his popularity would translate to their popularity. It was win-lose with Sasuke as the loser.

So that was what had led Sasuke to hiring Naruto as his minio—ASSISTANT. He couldn't deal with people without going all demon-bastard on them so he hired the only person he could stand that could deal with them. Naruto had been juggling about three part-time jobs at the time, not being able to afford college and barely being able to afford rent and food and all that good stuff, so he had agreed to the stable job offer. Plus being Sasuke's Bro gave him epic perks like not having to listen to stuffy bastards that were less bastard-y than Sasuke but waaaaaaaaaay more stuck up than Sasuke.

Not that he would listen to them anyways, but being Sasuke's PR gave him the authority to tell them to stuff it where the sun don't shine.

Sasuke had been so proud of him that he had promoted Naruto as his PR in hopes that the blonde could do the same to those media hound dogs following him like lost puppies.

Naruto had been Sasuke's PR for a little while now, coming around four months this week. Normally, Sasuke did a pretty good job at hiding himself from the media, choosing to only take meetings at his office and having his driver pull up to the company's entrance so there was little chance of getting a picture because of Uchiha Corp's security. Plus, the bastard was so anti-social that the media had next to no chance finding him unless they knew some of Naruto's favorite and longtime personal hangouts he's had since a little kid—and thankfully they didn't know.

Sasuke had also been out of the country for business since hiring Naruto a couple of times, but this was a groundbreaking deal that had caused a lot of attention. Naruto didn't totally understand why, but he understood that it was pretty damn impressive because Sasuke had told him over the phone right after closing the deal that not even his late father had been able to accomplish this particular deal.

Naruto also understood that Big Business Deal equaled Willing To Interview in the media's eye, and this time the bastard would be forced to walk in public areas in order to reach his car!

After checking himself out once more in the mirror, and winking because damn he looked good, Naruto grabbed his things and ran out the door.

Once he had turned around after locking his apartment door, he saw his friend Kiba waving at him.

"Hey, Kiba! Whatchya doing all the way here in the slums?" Naruto called down to his brunette friend he's had since high school.

Kiba grinned, somewhat feral what with his red fang tattoos on each cheek and his freakish canine teeth, and called back, "Boss told me to pick you up and drive you to the airport."

Running down the stairs from his top floor, cheap apartment, Naruto shouted, "What? That bastard! He's a sadist for ruining my morning commute and my daily stop at the ramen shop!"

"That, or he wanted to make sure you're on time!" Kiba shouted back, leaning against the shiny Mercedes 600 black limousine he drove in.

"What?!" Naruto shouted despite having reached the car, "I'm ALWAYS on time! I haven't been late for ANYTHING! Not school, not any job I've ever had, not ANYTHING!"

"What about those times you forced us to the movies or the mall? You were either about a half hour late to two hours." Kiba reminded the blonde with an obviously amused expression, reminding his friend about high school days long passed, spent with the friends Naruto had forced to join him and Sasuke on their escapades.

Naruto's face could have rivaled a fire truck with the force of his flustered blush.

"Nev-never anything imp-important. . ." Naruto weakly defended, finding the door of the fancy car extremely interesting.

"Suuuure, Foxy." Kiba teased, rolling his eyes and feral grin still in place.

"Screw you, Dog-Breath." Naruto glared at one of the only two people allowed to comment about the scars on his cheeks. Kiba was allowed to because of his own cheek accessories, and the other was Sasuke who was allowed to because he was Sasuke, not that he ever did.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, because I'm not afraid." Kiba retorted, opening the door to the car.

Naruto rolled his blue eyes, "Wanna test that theory?" he challenged, leaning closer to his friend than what the straight man was comfortable with.

"GAAH!" Kiba tripped backwards into the car while Naruto did a mini dance of victory. "Okay, okay! You win, Uzumaki!"

"That's 'Great Lord Uzumaki' to you, peasant." Naruto smiled to the man he had bested with his lack of caring for personal space and not being affected by gay things since he's bi and single.

"Yea, yea, oh 'Great Lord'," Kiba mocked, "just get in the car so I can take you to the airport."

"Sasuke's got you on one tight leash, huh?" Naruto commented to Sasuke Uchiha's personal driver, buckling himself in in the passenger's seat.

"The man pays my paycheck, dude! And if you haven't noticed, YOU'RE the only one that can get away not doing what he says when he says! There's no way in hell I'm giving up the best job I've ever had with the best benefits ever! I'll friggin' fight for it if I have to!" Kiba told the other passionately while turning on the car and driving towards the airport where the two's boss was going to be.

"And I'll be there fighting with ya." Naruto assured, flashing Kiba his signature smile.

Kiba took his eyes off the road long enough to flash his own fanged smile before returning his attention back to the road.

"So did Boss tell ya what to say?" Kiba asked as he took an exit for the highway.

"Hmm?" Naruto asked, not really paying attention. He was having more fun watching the passengers of nearby cars trying to peer into the limo.

"Did Boss tell ya what to tell the media once they start hounding you for questions about him or the deal?" Kiba clarified.

"Yeah," Naruto answered, smiling to himself as he remembered his friend's warning to not use any of the answers from their high school days, "he told me that 'The company is very pleased with how the events have turned out' and how 'We plan to keep the success rate up'."

"Wow. Sounds exciting." Kiba commented sarcastically, resisting the urge to roll his eyes since he was driving.

"Oh hell yea," Naruto responded in same, "answers about the bastard are even more interesting."

"Oh really?"

"MMhmm, 'Mr. Uchiha is quite pleased with how the events have turned out, having played a key role' and how 'He has big plans for the company and hopes this will help pave the way for an improved Uchiha Corp.'."

"Wow, you weren't kidding." Kiba assured the other.

Naruto laughed and said, "I still don't see why I can't tell them what I told those girls back in high school, he really IS a bastard intent upon world domination! He just found a more subtle way to do it."

Kiba laughed and agreed wholeheartedly.

Naruto huffed and pouted, "And as part of his bastard-y world domination plan, he seems determined to keep me away from my true love."

"True love?" Kiba asked incredulously, knowing full well Naruto's dating history, or lack thereof.

"RAMEN!" Naruto shouted passionately, almost making Kiba jump.

"What the hell, man?" Kiba asked, referring to the sudden outburst.

"That bastard KNOWS that ramen is essential to my morning ritual! Without it, I am nothing! NOTHIIIIING!" Naruto pretended to cry dramatically into his hands.

"Drama queen." Kiba scoffed.

They were still a ways from the airport, so they turned on the radio, promptly challenging each other to a karaoke war. But the radio had too many commercials that interrupted their oh so manly competition so Kiba had pulled out his iPod and plugged it in so they could continue commercial free and with the songs they wanted.

After a particularly epic sing-along rendition of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody—complete with singing along with the guitar and all of the every part of the song—Kiba turned into the exit for the airport.

Kiba lowly whistled and Naruto stared as they both noticed the number of news vans and flashy cars that surely belonged to reporters and other social media figures.

"You sure got your work cut out for ya." Kiba commented as he drove towards the airport's entrance.

"Hey, I gotta work to get my paycheck just like you." Naruto replied as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Yea, but I only have to fear freak car accidents. YOU have to deal with rabid reporters." Kiba pointed out to his friend.

Naruto flipped him the bird in response and climbed out the door.

After getting out of the car, Naruto headed towards the automatic doors of the airport's entrance. Walking through them always made him smile ever since he was a kid. He was a pretty awesome Jedi whenever they opened by themselves. The force was strong with him.

Naruto knew which gate Sasuke would arrive in, so he did not have to search for it. What he did have to search for, though, was a bathroom. He was no chick, but there was a high possibility that he would be caught in some pictures snuck of Sasuke so he needed to make sure his suit wasn't seriously ruffled or he forgot to zip his fly and Kiba never mentioned it.

After a quick inspection, Naruto had clarified once again that he was hot as shit. Hell, he WAS the shit.

He left the bathroom and headed towards the gate. There was extra security around because Naruto had called ahead as part of his job as Sasuke's PR and warned the airport that there would most likely be an influx of media. The airport security had agreed with Uchiha Corp that the media invading the airport would be a very bad idea, though for different reasons.

The airport security had ensured that anyone with a camera was kept outside of the airport, as well as anyone with an obvious reporter look. Naruto had literally heard one woman ask security, "Excuse me, but do you know which area Sasuke Uchiha's plane will be arriving in?" and she was promptly led outside.

The rest of the reporters had quickly learned that they were not welcome, but that only convinced them to be inconspicuous with their mission. Unfortunately for those who did not know which gate Sasuke would arrive in, security was asking anyone who looked lost what their purpose was and would escort out anyone who couldn't give a feasible answer and would keep a close eye on anyone they would have to ask twice.

Luckily, Naruto knew exactly where he was going and he had his official Uchiha Corp ID and had even made sure to tell the head of security about himself when he had called earlier so security knew he was coming and did not keep him from heading as close to the gate as he could without having to pay for a ticket. They were thankful that Naruto had not insisted that they should break the rules for him and allow him full access to the port entrance, and had even offered to escort him there.

Naruto laughed and told them that that was not necessary; he was a nobody compared to his best friend and while it irked him at times, he was safe from being recognized.

They nodded and sent him on his way, radioing to each other what Naruto looked like so they would not have to act when he approached Sasuke rather than any reporters who could manage to bypass security.

Naruto was almost to his destination when he heard, "Hey, Naruto!"

Turning around, he was surprised to see Kiba speed walking to him.

Confused, Naruto turned around to meet his friend halfway.

"What's up?" the blonde asked the brunette.

"Here." Kiba thrust a cup into Naruto's hands.

Still confused, Naruto automatically wrapped his hands around the warm cup—probably coffee for Sasuke—and asked the driver, "Why aren't you in the car?"

Kiba grinned and said, "Parked in in the nearest garage. Don't tell Boss I used Uchiha Corp authority to get a friggin' sweet spot, though. But I remembered that someone has an addiction that hasn't been fixed." He then turned around and started speed walking in the opposite direction.

Why would Kiba care whether or not Sasuke got his coffee? Despite Kiba's claims, Sasuke did not have an addiction.

Looking down, Naruto saw what he could honestly swear was a piece of the purest part of heaven in his hands.

Kiba. Brought. Him. RAMEN!

"KIBA, I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU! YOU ARE A GOD AMONGST MAN AND THE BEST BRO EVER RECORDED IN HISTORY!" Naruto shouted across the airport.

"YOU KNOW IT, 'GREAT LORD NARUTO UZUMAKI!" Kiba called back, turning around long enough to fist pump the air. Then he turned around again and resumed speed walking back to the parking garage.

Smiling ear to ear, Naruto unattached the chopsticks Kiba had stuck to the side of Naruto's favorite instant cup ramen while walking back to his destination.

"Naruto Uzumaki?"

Naruto turned around to face the female voice he heard.

He was surprised to see a group of girls smiling very brightly at him.

Reflexively smiling back, Naruto asked, "Excuse me?"

A girl with pink dyed hair and green eyes wearing a red skirt suit with a rather short skirt stepped closer to him and asked, "You're Naruto Uzumaki, right?" smiling all the while.

Deciding that he liked her smile, but confused why she would recognize his name, Naruto answered, "That would depend on who's asking." He too was smiling during the entire time he spoke.

The pink haired girl and a blonde girl with rather long hair and a purple skirt suit that showed off her vivacious curves took a step closer to him so he had to pull his precious, precious ramen closer to himself.

"What about old high school friends?" the pink haired girl asked, a pout making its way onto her overly made up face. It would be cute, if there wasn't so much stuff covering her face.

"You mean you don't remember us, Naruto?" the blonde asked, pouting as well and pulled her arms together to perk up her chest.

"Uuuhhhhhhh," Naruto said as he tilted his head to the side, crossed his arms, and squinted his eyes. If he was honest, he tried not to remember much about high school these days. Those days weren't exactly the best days for him and he preferred to not dwell upon the past.

"That's okay if you don't," the blonde told him, interrupting his attempt at waking up his memory.

"Yeah, what matters right now is that we remember you so we can talk for a bit, right?" the pink haired one chimed in.

"Uhhhhh, I'm kinda busy now." Naruto tried to tell the girls and back away since more girls starting to approach the little group.

"Really? Busy doing what?" the blonde asked, somewhat urgently.

"I—" Naruto began.

"Busy representing Sasuke, right?" the pink haired girl interrupted, rather loudly.

As soon as Sasuke's name was mentioned, nearly all the girls milling around the area perked up like meerkats. Then, in one frightening group, they stampeded to Naruto, all the while screaming questions about Sasuke.

Naruto finally understood what Kiba had meant about 'rabid reporters'.

"I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM MR. UCHIHA!" Naruto stated loudly, knowing that security would soon arrive and make these ladies leave and knowing that this was the most efficient way to make them shut the hell up.

Like he predicted, the women were quieter than the awkward silence after someone unknowingly insults someone's dead mother, Naruto would know being an orphan and all.

Using a firm tone that exuded confidence with every word, Naruto flashed a smile and said, "Mr. Uchiha is quite pleased with how the events have turned out, having played a key role. He has big plans for the company and hopes this will help pave the way for an improved Uchiha Corp and thanks you all for the continued interest in the company."

A few women returned Naruto's smile, while others held their pads of paper to their chests and sighed as they imagined the words being spoken by their one true love, Sasuke.

But the pink haired girl shouted, "And?"

Blinking, Naruto asked, ""Excuse me?"

"You mean to tell me that that's ALL Sasuke has to say?" the pink haired girl shouted, a vein starting to pop out on her large forehead.

Other women started to agree with the pink haired girl and began to voice their opinions of wanting more.

Naruto saw members of security starting to approach the group so he figured that he'd help them out by making the crowd shut up again.

"Well," Naruto began in a normal tone and smiling once more, the group of females was silent once more, "yes that IS all Mr. Uchiha has to say. The recent deal made is groundbreaking and will help Uchiha Corp to expand in previously thought impossible ways. As the CEO of Uchiha Corp, Mr. Uchiha is very satisfied with the deal made and hopes it inspires other companies to take a similar path. He also ensures that Uchiha Corp will try more than its best to make sure all parties involved will leave satisfied."

Personally, Naruto felt very proud of himself for expanding on what Sasuke had said was acceptable and hoped that he did not overstep any boundaries by saying that the company was open to more deals, but hey, Sasuke had said in their last phone conversation that he was sure that this deal would prove to others that some form of takeover was inevitable so technically Naruto wasn't lying.

Naruto flashed the ladies a smile, as if to personally assure them that these were indeed words spoken by their dearest Sasuke. Again, most of the ladies smiled as well, most likely imagining in their minds Sasuke saying those words to them and them alone.

But once again, the pink haired wench screeched, "I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS!"

Luckily, the security officers had shown up and began saying firmly to each individual surrounding Naruto, "Excuse me, but members of the media are not allowed passed the entrance. You have to leave now." Or some variation of that polite but firm dismissal.

Most of the women had expressions of utter defeat, hoping to have at least the chance to catch a glimpse of their beloved Sasuke whose plane had just landed. Some of the more professional ones were gathering their things without argument, satisfied with getting the official statement by Mr. Uchiha and understanding that there was no use fighting against the still gathering security officers.

But some, like the pink haired banshee were livid.

"NO! NO, I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I SEE MY SASUKE AGAIN!" she shouted, taking advantage of how the security was approaching the group from behind and she was near the front by Naruto.

"Uh, 'your Sasuke'?" Naruto asked; confused as to why this stranger was claiming ownership over his best friend.

Facing Naruto, the pink haired woman looked rather frightening with a hideously angry expression on her face reinforced with its ugly by her overly done makeup and shouted, "YES, you monster FREAK! MY Sasuke! He's been mine ever since high school! He and I would be married and have children by now if it weren't for you, you cursed, fucking MONSTER!"

As she shrieked the last insult, she jabbed a finger at his chest and effectively knocked over Naruto's cup of instant ramen.

The security guards, bystanders, and other reports could swear that they felt the temperature in the airport drop a few degrees as they turned their attention towards the cause.

Naruto's eyes were hidden by his bangs as he observed in still silence his ramen that Kiba had given him spill out of the cup and spread on the floor.

Unrelenting, the pink haired bitch crossed her arms and demanded in a loud, superior tone, "Now tell my Sasuke that he will go on a proper date with me and to meet me at—"

"Shut up."

Caught off guard with the sudden interruption, the pink haired abomination asked incredulously, "Excuse me?"

Naruto looked up and pinned her with a glare that had made stronger men than she flinch back in fear.

"I said shut up." Naruto repeated in a chilling tone.

"What?! I don't think you know who—" she was cut off by Naruto again.

"Does anyone know what company, newspaper, magazine, or show this woman reports to?" Naruto asked the crowd of reporters watching at large, completely ignoring the bitch in front of him.

The curse upon mankind was about to speak again when Naruto cut her off before she got the chance, "Because Mr. Uchiha and all representatives and employees of Uchiha Corp are officially cutting ties with this woman and whatever company, newspaper, magazine, or show she may represent as well as any company, newspaper, magazine, and show that will stand by her. The first person who contacts Uchiha Corp regarding who this woman is and who she represents will be awarded with an exclusive interview with Sasuke Uchiha."

Before the pink haired waste of space or anyone else could utter a word, Naruto roughly sped passed them and grabbed the arm of one Sasuke Uchiha who had successfully made his way near his PR without anyone noticing and said, "The car is this way, Mr. Uchiha."

There was a sudden flurry of both voices and movement as everyone realized that THE Mr. Sasuke Uchiha was walking by! Everyone wanted a word with him, some wanted to shout the pink haired woman's wanted information and secure that exclusive interview for themselves, and others wanted to take his picture.

But one Uchiha Glare was all it took for them to refuse to say another word while in the airport and try to leave as quickly as they could.

The security officers were too frightened themselves to be amazed at how quickly all the unwanted reporters had left. They did, however, escort the pink haired woman to the head of security and make sure that she was not allowed to return to that particular airport due to her indecent behavior.

Naruto was still holding onto Sasuke's arm as he dragged him through the airport. They were extremely lucky because they weren't stopped for anything. There looked like there would be one or two people who recognized Sasuke and was going to approach or tell their friend, but they hastily looked away after squeaking in fear before Naruto could even glare at them. Weird. Maybe he was that badass?

It was probably because he was so pissed. That bitch who knocked over his ramen had really put him in a bad mood. All he wanted to do was get to the car and have Kiba drive him back to his apartment ASAP! Sasuke was lucky that he had arrived when he did because there was no way in hell that Naruto was going to stick around longer than he had to.

The bastard must have noticed that Naruto was in a bad mood because he did not fight being pulled through the airport like he normally would. He was even matching Naruto's pace!

The blonde felt like he could have started singing praises to the Lord when he saw the exit of the airport. He made a beeline for those doors with Sasuke in tow. Somehow, people would stiffen and move out of the way with expressions of fear as they passed, though they were not looking at Naruto but behind him.

Whatever. Naruto was so pissed that if anyone was following him then he'd just kick their ass. He would tell Sasuke to look out for people behind them, but he knew that Sasuke could take care of himself, if not for his physical strength and fighting abilities then for his glare.

When they finally exited the airport, Naruto was relieved to see Sasuke's car about to approach them in the loop.

Still holding onto Sasuke's arm because there was no way that he'd risk losing Sasuke and having to spend more time in the airport, Naruto waved to Kiba, fully intent on leaving SOON!

Kiba turned into the lane closest to the sidewalk and pulled to a stop. Then Naruto remembered that he had a job and opened the door for Sasuke since they were out in the open now and there were far less security guards outside so pictures could easily be taken; he needed to get Sasuke out of sight.

He was about to close the door after Sasuke got into the car so he could climb into the passenger's seat and demand to be taken home, but Sasuke had grabbed his arm.

Sending the man inside the car a confused look, Sasuke only tugged in arm and ordered, "Get in," and made room for Naruto next to himself.

Sighing, Naruto climbed into the car. He knew that there was no use in fighting against the bastard and that it would definitely not be the best thing in the world for the press to be able to sneak a picture of Sasuke in the car.

Once inside, Naruto situated himself in the seat furthest away from his best friend, next to the window.

"Welcome home." Naruto mumbled, giving Sasuke a quick glance with a megawatt grin before turning his attention out of the window, hoping to both calm himself and to avoid an interrogation.

"So I'm no longer associating with a woman?" Sasuke asked, getting straight to the point, as usual.

Naruto sighed. So much for no interrogation.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I told them the company line, though." Naruto told his boss, laughing, smiling, and hoping that Sasuke will drop the subject soon, even though he knew the stubborn bastard wouldn't.

"I don't care about that," Sasuke announced, surprising both Naruto and Kiba who both gave him looks of surprise. Naruto's was an outright jaw drop and staring at the other while Kiba's was a subtle surprised glance in the rear view mirror. Kiba immediately regretted such a glance as he was met with an Uchiha Glare that was clearly warning him to not pay attention to the back seat.

Sasuke turned back to Naruto and repeated, "I don't care about that. What I want to know is why are you so upset?"

Naruto closed his mouth, fixed it into a wide smile, and turned back to the window, "I'm not upset." Naruto stated. He would absolutely not admit that the pink haired bitch got to him this much. Sure she may have reminded him a little too much of those high school days he thought he was passed despite not remembering her, but that was not something he'd admit to anyone; not even Sasuke. He was strong enough to handle his own problems.

"Yes you are." Sasuke insisted, grabbing a hold of Naruto's hand.

Grinning wider to make sure that his smile was still in place, Naruto forced a light tone, "Nope. You're imagining things, Sasuke. I think it's the jetlag. Kiba, after you drop me off at my place, can you make sure that Sasuke gets tucked into bed so he can get a proper rest?" addressing the driver.

"No. Inuzuka, you will take the both of us to my house." Sasuke ordered while somehow glaring at the both of them. Naruto would forever be in awe of Sasuke's mastery of the glare.

Confused and disappointed because he knew that the bastard would insist on interrogating him once behind closed doors, Naruto asked, "Why?" to make he sure he knew what he was getting into.

Sasuke smirked and said, "I've been out of the country for over a week and I'm not allowed to spend some time with a friend?"

Guilt washed over Naruto. The two HAD made plans to hang out at Sasuke's place after he came home. Well, not really, but it was a ritual the two followed whenever Naruto could not accompany Sasuke on his international trips. It was pretty much understood that Naruto would go to Sasuke's place after Sasuke returned.

Humbled, Naruto agreed but was unsure of what to say so he said, "Who'd want to spend time with you? Cocky bastard."

"You do." Sasuke said with a calm confidence that no matter what would comfort Naruto.

Burning bright red in a fluster, Naruto could only stutter, "Sh-shut up, bastard."

Smirking even wider so one—Naruto—could dare say that it was a grin, Sasuke said, "And yes, my cock is quite large."

The blush earlier could not compare to the blush that threatened to redden Naruto's entire body as he accused, "PERVERT!" jabbing a finger at Sasuke.

Calmly, Sasuke placed his hand over Naruto's accusing one and said, "I'm not the one that brought the size of my penis into the conversation." He said this as he lowered Naruto's hand.

Naruto pulled his hand away from the pervert and accused, "I didn't either! YOUR PERVERTED MIND DID!"

Sasuke grunted, "Hn," in response.

As Naruto glowered at the perverted bastard next to him, Sasuke asked, "You said that you gave the proper media response?"

Sobering up, Naruto nodded and said, "Yeah, I said that you were very happy with how the events transpired and hope to welcome more business and all that jazzy stuff."

"Jazzy stuff?" Sasuke asked, amused with Naruto's paraphrasing of what he had said earlier.

"Yes, jazzy stuff!" Naruto defended himself, getting riled up for an argument over his choice of words.

"So you didn't understand what the trip was about?" Sasuke asked, more of a statement than a question and with amusement still evident in his voice. A rarity for anyone besides Naruto to hear, but it was usually aimed at Naruto's expense so he rarely enjoyed these gems of the bastard's personality.

Deflating, Naruto answered his boss, "No, sir."

Smirking, Sasuke said, "We have over an hour before we reach my place. How about I explain it to you again?"

"OH GOD, NO! HAVE MERCY, SASUKE! MERCY!" Naruto begged, grabbing onto Sasuke's sleeve, "I SWEAR I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING! JUST DON'T SUBJECT ME TO THAT!"

His frantic pleas were in vein as Sasuke gave a sadistic smile and said in a chilling tone, "Too late."

And so Sasuke launched into an explanation about Uchiha Corp and some big company overseas merging together, or in human translation: Sasuke owns them now.

That bastard used his most monotone voice when explaining such a boring topic to Naruto, and the bastard knew that the combination of the two knocked Naruto out faster than a drunken lightweight hitting on an overly jealous muscle man's woman gets knocked out.

Naruto was fast asleep before five minutes had passed.

The next thing Naruto was aware of was feeling a large bump.

"Whoa! Sorry, Boss!" Naruto groggily heard Kiba's voice, "I didn't see that pot hole!"

"Hn." Sasuke's voice grunted.

Trying to wake himself up, Naruto tried to get situated.

And noticed that he was lying on his side, with his head on Sasuke's lap! He could also feel Sasuke's hand on his head!

"Bastard?" Naruto asked, his voice slightly hoarse from the drowsiness that was quickly leaving him.

"Yes, idiot?" Sasuke replied from above him.

"Can you tell me why my head is on your lap and your hand is on my head?" Naruto asked in a somewhat low voice, because both the residual drowsiness and a fear that his sadistic best friend must have done something to him in his sleep like take his wallet or draw on his face like he would if Sasuke fell asleep.

"You fell asleep and selfishly used my lap as a pillow. You also took up the area where my arm would normally rest leaving me no choice but to use your empty head as an armrest as punishment." Sasuke answered immediately. He was using his business voice, the one he used whenever he had prepared answers to questions he knew were going to be asked and wanted to convince someone of something.

Naruto was still waking up so he didn't dwell on it since it was probably nothing; Sasuke probably just knew Naruto was going to ask so Sasuke already knew the answer.

Naruto pushed on the seat so his was now in his original sitting position. He was slightly surprised to see that his seatbelt had been unbuckled, but didn't make much of it and just re-buckled it.

Naruto looked out the window and saw that they were really close to Sasuke's mansion!

Naruto sat up straighter so he could see the grounds as they pulled into the long, winding driveway. Ever since he was a child, the Uchiha mansion always dazzled him his its enormity and the attention and respect it commanded despite being an inanimate building.

Kiba drove up to the front of the house to drop off the two passengers. Sasuke got out of the car without a word and made way for the expansive front door, but Naruto stayed behind a bit so he could say bye to his friend.

"Man, you were out like a friggin' light!" Kiba commented.

"Oh shut it, will ya?" Naruto grumbled, feeling a little embarrassed for being called out on his inability to listen to Sasuke's lectures.

"Awwww, but it was so cuuuuute." Kiba teased Naruto, making mock kissy faces at him.

"Eh? What was?" Naruto asked, the last time he had fallen asleep in the car, Kiba had decidedly told Naruto how UN-cute his snoring and his tossing around were.

"After you fell asleep against the window and started to snore, Boss unbuckled ya and put you on his lap. As soon as that happened, you stopped snoring! It was like a miracle!" Kiba exclaimed.

Before Naruto could react, Kiba glanced out the window and flinched. Naruto looked out the same window to see what Kiba was scared of and saw Sasuke glaring at the car.

"You should go, dude. I don't want Boss to fire me 'cause I'm stealing you from him!" Kiba said as he started the car.

Naruto rolled his eyes at Kiba's exaggeration, "Sasuke won't fire you. He knows we're bros."

"Hurry!" Kiba urged, glancing from Sasuke to Naruto.

"Heel, boy! Down!" Naruto laughed as he slid out of the car.

Naruto waved as Kiba drove towards the garage so he could switch Sasuke's fancy limousine with his rebuilt motorcycle.

The blonde then heard Sasuke clear his throat. Naruto turned to face the Uchiha who motioned with his head that Naruto should follow him into the house as he walked inside.

Having been a frequent visitor of the Uchiha mansion before and after the accident, Naruto knew his way around and had no problem finding Sasuke in the kitchen.

Part of their welcome home tradition was for the two to eat a homemade meal when Sasuke returned. It was a tradition his late mother, Mikoto Uchiha, had started in response to her husband and Sasuke's late father, Fugaku Uchiha, had to go on frequent business trips that Sasuke and Naruto had continued after they and Sasuke's late brother, Itachi Uchiha, were killed in that drunk driving accident.

Of course, they modified the tradition a bit. Mikoto had always been one for ceremony and would without fail cook such a large meal that Naruto's presence and his bottomless pit for a stomach was not only welcomed but required lest their poor fridge be overwhelmed with leftovers. Their modified version of her extravagant meals was to make a large pan of homemade macaroni and cheese since that was the only thing they knew how to make that was not microwavable after the accident.

Sasuke was in the kitchen gathering the ingredients when Naruto entered the room. Without pause, Naruto immediately headed over to where the pots and pans were stored and began gathering the necessary items.

The two worked fast and with little error from having made this meal so many times. They knew the recipe and how to make it by heart so they barely paid attention to what they were doing.

"What happened at the airport?" Sasuke asked as he started to divide the ingredients.

"Not much." Naruto dismissed, hoping Sasuke would drop the subject.

"Naruto," Sasuke's voice dropped as he used his serious voice, "there's no use in lying to me."

Naruto sighed, knowing this was true. He turned to make sure his back was turned to Sasuke as he filled a pot with water and started to explain, "We got to the airport just fine and after I checked in with security so they'd know who I was I went to go wait for you to land. There were a lotta reporters there even though security had weeded out the dumb ones.

"Anyway, Kiba called out and gave me some ramen since I missed out this morning. After hearing my name, some pink haired woman, blonde chick, and other girl reporter people approached me, claiming to be old high school buddies. The pink haired one shouted out that I'm your PR so I gave the company line about you being happy about events transpired.

"Most seemed okay with the line, but pinky demanded more so I embellished a little bit, saying that you worked hard for the deal and hope other companies will follow their lead and Uchiha Corp will leave everyone satisfied. Then pinky started shouting that she 'did not accept this' and said she's not leaving until 'she saw her Sasuke'.

"I asked what she meant and she started freaking out and shouted out that she's supposed to be your wife by now and have many, many Uchiha babies if it weren't for me, the freaky, cursed monster.

And she knocked down my ramen." Naruto explained, anger lacing his voice as he recalled how his precious, precious ramen was knocked out of his hands. The cup weeping its tears or sorrow as its delicious innards dropped to the floor.

Then Naruto realized that the pot he had been filling with water was overfilled and passed the brim!

"AAHH!" Naruto exclaimed as he shut off the sink and frantically pored some of the water out.

He inwardly cursed his clumsiness as he grabbed a hand towel and began to wipe away the spilled water from around the sink.

Naruto danced an impromptu jig to see if there was any water under his feet, which thankfully there wasn't.

"Phew!" Naruto sighed in relief and turned around to face his best friend, why was his back turned anyways? Oh yeah, the water.

"I don't think I should be in charge of the water anymore. Ah! But you don't trust me with making the actual meal! So I should stay in charge of the water and the noodles! Oh, but I just made this mess." Naruto babbled as he turned his head to look at the messy, watery sink. He only cleaned around the sink since that mattered more.

Turning his head to face his best friend he asked, "What should I do, bastard?"

"You should tell me these things earlier." Sasuke replied, somewhat icily as he glared at Naruto. It was not an Uchiha Glare nor filled with any malice. It was a glare especially reserved for Naruto; filled with frustration, but the kind stemming from caring about the other.

"Eh?" Naruto asked, confused. He should tell Sasuke that he was a klutz before spilling the water? But Sasuke already knew of Naruto's clumsiness, having teased him mercilessly for it in their childhood.

Suddenly, Sasuke was hugging—HUGGING—Naruto!

Naruto froze; unused to this. Usually it was Naruto who initiated hugs with people! Sure Sasuke had hugged him more times than his other guy friends—and some of his girly friends—but Naruto was still not used to someone else touching him in a familiar way.

"Sas-Sasuke?" Naruto asked, only able to look sideways with his eyes.

"You idiot!" Sasuke chastised as he squeezed Naruto tighter.

"Is it about the sink? Sorry, but it's just water! It won't stain or anything." Naruto supplied, lost as to why Sasuke was getting so riled up.

"Not the sink, dunce, the airport."

"Oh. . .Oh. . ." Naruto said as he finally understood, but then did not know what else to say. He didn't want to seem weak, especially in front of Sasuke.

"You're not, by the way," Sasuke said quietly next to Naruto's head in his soothing, confident voice that always comforted the blonde, "you're not a 'cursed, fucking monster'. If anything, she's the monstrous one."

A desire to be comforted some more washed over Naruto like a tsunami; he was once again a twelve-year-old begging Sasuke to believe that he was not cursed and that he did not cause his parents' fatal accident.

Naruto blinked furiously to keep the tears that threatened to moisten his eyes at bay. He was not that twelve-year-old anymore. He was stronger than this, dammit! Being called a 'monster' shouldn't affect him anymore.

He was slightly trembling with the effort to not break down, which was very difficult because Sasuke was hugging him almost like he used to, hating himself all the while for being so goddamn weak.

No.. .it has been eleven years since he'd been that weak. He never broke down during high school and he never broke down after graduation. He was stronger than that. He wouldn't submit to the weakness. He wouldn't break down. He—

"You're not a monster." Sasuke whispered.

That did it.

Naruto wrapped his own arms around Sasuke and bent his head a little so his forehead was resting against Sasuke's shoulder. He didn't sob, or start bawling, but a few tears managed to leak out of Naruto's tightly closed eyes.

In return, Sasuke had started to rub Naruto's back the way he had imagined a parent would do or someone who really cares about the other. The action brought immense comfort, almost as instant as Sasuke's calm, confident voice did. It felt like no matter how weak or pathetic Naruto thought he was, Sasuke would always be there for him.

It took a few minutes, but Naruto eventually pulled away, feeling better.

"Thank you, Sasuke." Naruto thanked, sincerely and with a huge smile on his face.

"Hn." Sasuke responded with a small grin—not smirk—of his own.

"She really was a jerk, making me drop my ramen and all." Naruto insisted as he placed the pot of water on the stove.

"I'll bet. I know how seriously you take your ramen." Sasuke agreed as he returned to his task of dividing the ingredients into they needed.

"Ramen is my true love! It is my heart, blood, and soul!" Naruto declared passionately, striking a pose.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted in reply.

"Plus she was a total psycho." Naruto declared as he started to boil the water.

"Psycho?" Sasuke echoed.

"Yeah, she kept insisting that you were hers." Naruto recalled.

"A delusional psycho then." Sasuke clarified.

"Yep. You're my best friend." Naruto stated, nodding to himself.

"I'm yours." Sasuke agreed, turning around.

Naruto blushed crimson red, flustered as he suddenly got how that sounded.

"And you're mine." Sasuke declared in a tone that left no room for argument.

Naruto laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, and then changed the subject to describing what Sasuke had missed during his time out of the country. He described what a couple of friends had done during the week, he relayed some work stories, and he spent awhile describing how he had dressed Kiba up as Waldo and had spent the day photo-bombing tourists' and group pictures, often ending in how Naruto would help Kiba escape as soon as someone shouted, "I FOUND WALDO!"

Sasuke had offered few words, mostly grunts, during Naruto's rundown of the week as they continued to make their spectacular macaroni and cheese dinner. But Naruto knew that he was listening; Sasuke always listened to whatever Naruto had to say.

During dinner, Naruto asked Sasuke what he had done while out of the country, but quickly lost interest as Sasuke had not done much besides work and that was boring. So in an effort to keep Sasuke's life non-boring in his absence, Naruto spent the rest of dinner supplying awesome stress-relieving activities to do from getting a massage to hallway bowling.

Sasuke had said that was what an idiot like Naruto would do, so Naruto maturely stuck his tongue out at him.

After dinner, the two went to the living room and started to look for a video game to play. Well, Naruto chose while Sasuke told him to not pick anything stupid.

Naruto ended up choosing Mario Kart Race for nostalgia's sake, as another part of their welcome home ritual.

Naruto declared loudly that he'd definitely kick Sasuke's ass this time, but yet again Sasuke seemingly effortlessly beat the blonde by seconds.

Demanding rematch after rematch—another part of the ritual—the two played for a solid two hours.

After they put away their old game, Sasuke got to choose the movie, as per the rules of the welcome home ritual. Sasuke chose while Naruto told him not to pick anything scary.

But the bastard was a sadist and decided to choose Paranormal Activity 2.

Naruto had started to shout profanities at the bastard, who rolled his eyes and told him to calm down, "It's worse than the original." He explained to Naruto as he popped it into the DVD player.

"W-wor-wor-WORSE?" Naruto stuttered, eyes wide and pulling his knees up into his chest.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and clarified, "As in 'not as scary', moron. Not that the first one was anything to be scared of."

"SHUT UP! NOBODY TOLD ME THAT SHIT WASN'T REAL!" Naruto defended himself, having had a few nightmares and majorly freaking out after seeing the original Paranormal Activity.

"Idiot, we saw it years after it came out. Hell, the third movie had already come out by the time we saw the first one."

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted. Oh what a bastard Sasuke was. He knew Naruto was absolutely terrified of ghosts, yet he insisted on torturing Naruto with them!

Grumbling, Naruto situated himself on the couch as Sasuke sat next to him. In a slight revenge, Naruto had taken the whole blanket for himself. Take that, bastard.

As per Naruto's request, Sasuke had left at least one light on for Naruto, though the bastard had chosen the smallest one in the far corner. He claimed it was so there would be no glare on the television, but Naruto knew that it was because the bastard really was a sadist through and through and enjoyed scaring the bajeebies out of the blonde.

The beginning of the movie went kinda slow and had fooled Naruto into thinking that maybe Sasuke was right and it would not be as scary, but soon enough, he was practically manhandling Sasuke, gripping him in fear every time night fell and burying his face into Sasuke's chest whenever something scary would happen, cursing at the bastard and accusing him because he had said that it wouldn't be scary!

When the movie was over, Naruto was in a cocoon of the blanket and had firmly nestled himself into Sasuke's side.

"I have to be able to get up so I can turn off the movie, dork." Sasuke teased as he attempted to escape Naruto's grip.

"BUT WHAT IF THE GHOSTS GET ME WHEN YOU GET UP?" Naruto demanded in a harsh whisper, keeping his voice down in case the ghosts could hear him.

"Then they'll obviously ignore you because you aren't worth haunting." Sasuke easily replied.

"BASTARD!" Naruto shouted at a smirking Uchiha who had successfully released himself from Naruto's arms.

Had it been anyone else, being called not worth something would be the height of insults to Naruto. But this was Sasuke, and Naruto knew the difference between Sasuke's bantering insults and when he really meant them. Sasuke was Sasuke so he was truly the only one Naruto had allowed to insult him on a regular basis since that was just a part of how they worked.

Despite Sasuke's assurances that Naruto would not get haunted, the blonde had absolutely refused to go anywhere unless he was escorted by Sasuke and/or he was completely surrounded by light.

This even applied to when the two men were changing to go to bed.

Naruto had stayed over at this mansion so many times that it was practically his second home. So much so, that he even had his own dresser and closet in the guest bedroom that he normally slept in.

The paranoid blonde had forced Sasuke to escort him to his guest room before going to Sasuke's—his late parents' former—Master bedroom. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep alone in his guest room alone tonight and that he would have to sleep with Sasuke; another inadvertent part of their welcome home ritual. Naruto swore that Sasuke had a penchant for making Naruto squirm because not only did the bastard almost always choose a scary movie, but he was also cheap and refused to buy a futon, couch, or sleeping bag for his own room whenever Naruto couldn't stay in a room by himself after such a scary movie.

This happened so many times that sleeping in the same bed didn't faze Naruto anymore. The only thing that slightly bothered him was that more than once he woke up in Sasuke's arms.

He never made much of it because Sasuke had explained that during these scary movie nights Naruto would whimper a lot and wouldn't stop tossing and turning unless Sasuke grabbed his arm or something and apparently they would unconsciously meld together. Naruto wouldn't put it passed himself, because according to Kiba, Naruto was a cuddly sleeper; something that was reinforced by Sasuke after the bastard showed him a picture of Naruto cuddling with a handmade stuffed scarecrow doll much resembling a former teacher of theirs.

Naruto had thought that the picture thing was a little creepy, but Sasuke had assured him that he only took it to show Naruto proof of how much of a 'cuddly sleeper' he actually was.

Naruto pulled on a pair of orange sweatpants and a black T-shirt while Sasuke merely pulled on a pair of dark blue sweatpants. The bastard usually only slept in his boxers, but Naruto had insisted on the pants while they slept in the same bed. The bi man was fine with gay-ish stuff and he knew that his best friend didn't mind them himself being gay—or just asexual—and all, but personal space gay and relationship gay were two completely different things.

After Naruto brushed his teeth in Sasuke's adjoining bathroom, Naruto had located his trusty nightlight from the bastard's 'Idiot' drawer reserved for things Naruto had left in Sasuke's room while Sasuke himself did his own hygienic things in the bathroom.

Naruto managed to plug it in and turn it on before Sasuke turned off the lights and sighed in relief. Sometimes the bastard was too fast for him and enjoyed listening to Naruto flounder in the dark. He wasn't a complete ass and would turn on the lights before Naruto would freak out, but it was always on that borderline and Naruto sought to avoid that at all costs.

Then Naruto climbed into bed, onto 'his' temporary side whenever he slept there with Sasuke.

"G'night, S'ske." Naruto mumbled, about to fall asleep.

"'Night. Don't let the ghosts get you." Sasuke warned as a bid farewell.

"BASTARD!" Naruto hissed, throwing an arm out to slap the person next to him.

The response he got was a chuckle that made Naruto smile before drifting off into dreamland.

And that was Part One.

This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but then I started to add all this extra stuff and now I can't escape it nor its length!

The original concept came when I was watching NCIS and one reporter accidentally knocked down Gibbs' coffee (EPIC GASP) and he ended the impromptu press interview with the swarm of reporters following him. The woman then doctored the video to make Gibbs seem unsympathetic by adding a soundclip of herself asking his opinion of recent murders and him saying 'I don't care'. He said this, of course, in response to reporters saying that they didn't ask their questions, but he didn't care because reporter bitch knocked down his coffee!

So my inner muse thought that he should have told the other reporters that he'd give them an interview if they made sure that that woman was never present for something he was involved in and would instantly stop any interview and ban that station if he learned that they were working with her until she properly apologized and got him a new coffee. My reasoning being that he is Gibbs and can therefor do that.

Sigh, but then I added all that cursed monster stuff. Not that I'm unhappy with it, it's just that now it has gotten too long for me to comfortably write a one-shot as this is—obviously—the halfway point.

Why oh why can't I just write a simple one-shot anymore? Hell was also supposed to be a one-shot, but after the 20 page mark and it being nowhere near finished, I go 'screw it, it's a chapter story'.

Luckily, this one will DEFINITELY be a two-shot and the other half will be uploaded soon because I'm actually motivated to write it.

Help out the process and leave a review, please! Please and thank you!