Well, I decided to make an attempt at a Total Drama fic. Hope it works out. Seeing as my holiday's almost over, it probs won't, but we'll see.

I'm gonna be using the original characters, with Alejandro, Blaineley and Sierra. Note that I have refused to watch Season 4, so there will be discontinuity.

Also, this is one of my stories, so depending on how I feel, slash may be involved. Also swearing, because I want to. I won't make the story M just because of that, because honestly, teens swear more than the average human anyway.

In my opinion (and this has been a big problem ever since Season 3 had a different ending in the USA), the Canadian endings were the real ones, so Owen, Duncan and Alejandro won the first three seasons. Of course I'm ignoring Season 4, so I dunno about that one. I believe another boy won.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Anyway, let's get started with Season 1 (of hopefully more seasons) of Total Drama Tournament!

"Season 5! After a draggingly dumbass fourth season that I really can't even remember, we decided to bring back the best of the old and the new seasons: The original people, and the original setting! ...Well, maybe it's just the old season. But anyway, we're back at Camp Wawanakwa and we're bringing it harder than ever before! Challenges that will kill at some point, and uncensored swearing! Yay! Fuck! I love the new network..."

"This time around, we'll give two million dollars to whoever wins this season. Who will make it? And who is too incompetent to even make it past the first episode? We'll see it here on Total Drama Tournament!"

"Here they are, the first contestants: The Aftermath heroes and the series zeroes: Geoff, Bridgette, Katie, Sadie, Eva and Ezekiel-"

"Hey-o, I'm here to win it! I'm gonna punch butt!" Ezekiel seemed very confident walking off the boat, until he tripped and fell flat on the ground.

"Oh my god, weren't you totally mutated?" "Oh my god, I know, right?" "Oh my god, I knew too!" Katie and Sadie ran around on the dock.

"Yeah, Chris. What happened with him? And wasn't the island polluted? It looks fine now!" Bridgette inquired as she got off the boat. Geoff tried to make out with her, but she was more curious about the island and Ezekiel than interested in smooching, leaving Geoff stuck with his tongue hanging out.

"Eh, it got better." Chris stated with a shrug. He wanted to explain, but he got interrupted by Eva stomping down the dock.

"Did you just call me a zero? I'm gonna break every bone in your body!" Chris fled behind Geoff and Bridgette, who didn't quite manage in calming Eva down.

"A-and, here's, um, some r-real wacky people: Izzy and... Whoah! Help, you guys!" Izzy cackled as she jumped off the boat, followed by Owen and Tyler.

Izzy managed to calm Eva down a bit, but she still growled at Chris, steam nearly coming out of her nose. Tyler jumped onto Owen's back as they walked on, but fell off as Owen farted, falling onto his face. Owen giggled sheepishly.

"Hey Chris! You know, I better win this time! I still... kinda need the money..." Owen said, talking in a less confident tone as Chris glared at him.

"Oh, that's okay! Zizzy Dizzy will split the prize if she wins! Wahoo!" Izzy shouted as she jumped onto Tyler, who was still lying on the ground.

"Riiight... Well, here we have some fan favorites: Gwen, Noah, Duncan and Cody!" Chris said, hoping for a few sane people.

"Woo, back at the island. Surely I'll be getting nostalgic any minute now." Noah drawled as he stepped onto the dock.

Duncan tried to run onto the island as soon as the boat reached the dock, but Chris stopped him. "Whoa, steady there, delinquent. We don't want you destroying the campground just yet."

Sulking, Duncan walked back onto the dock, where a confused but bemused Gwen said: "What was that all about?" Duncan grinned at her and said: "Oh, you'll see, baby."

Cody cautiously stepped off the boat. "Sierra isn't here yet, is she?" He relaxed a bit as the other campers told him she wasn't.

"And here are the "villains" of the show-" Chris was interrupted by Noah: "Wouldn't that be you?" "Shut it! Anyways, here are Heather, Justin, Courtney and Alejandro." Heather and Alejandro stepped off the boat, glaring at each other.

"Heather and Alejandro haven't exactly stayed in touch after Heather kneed Alejandro in the balls and had him slide off a vulcano." Chris grinned.

"Drop dead!" "Ladies first!"

"You know, I don't see myself as a villain. I see myself as a handsome, handsome man. That's all." Justin said as he stepped off of the boat, posing. Katie and Sadie seemed stuck between gushing over Justin and Alejandro.

"And I'm hardly a villain! I just tried to win! I'm focused! I used to be a C.I.T.!" Courtney yelled, walking over the dock and pushing Duncan off in the process.

"Sure. But you still sucked. Anyways, we also have the other campers of Team Victory here: Leshawna, Harold, Lindsay and DJ!" The four campers walked over to Chris, looking at the campground apprehensively. "Do we really have to stay here again? And what about all that pollution? I ain't heard 'bout nobody cleaning that up anytime soon!" Leshawna complained. "Do you see any pollution? Everything's cool." Chris answered.

"Are you sure? Because I wouldn't want to have to deal with all those mutated animals..." DJ muttered. "Oh yeah, how's that animal curse going?" Chris inquired. "I-It's fine..."

"Did you get better showers this time? Because I got used to normal showers with massage settings and pretty lights again..." Lindsay asked. "That just wouldn't be fun, now would it?" Chris chuckled. "Forget it!"

"Good. The flimsy showers will only help me in showcasing my wicked skills at-" "Showering? You really need to lay it down, skinny legs." Leshawna stopped Harold before he had a chance to make a fool of himself again. "Hey Heather, you grew your hair back? Damn, wish I had a razor right about now..." Leshawna said, walking over to Gwen and high-fiving her, glaring at Duncan. Heather threw a death glare at the back of Leshawna's head.

"And here we have the last four campers: Trent, Beth, Blaineley and Sierra!"

"Hey guys!" Trent walked down onto the dock, before getting thrown out of the way by Sierra. "OMG, you guys, I'm totally back!" Cody yelped and hid behind Owen.

"And your hair's grown back too! That's great!" Heather said. "IKR? You are soooo right."

Beth and Lindsay reunited, jumping up and down on the dock.

Lastly, Blaineley was dragged towards the rest of the campers by two interns. "Ugh! Let go of me! Why do I have to be here?"

"The question we've all been asking ourselves." Geoff muttered.

"Oh shut it, party boy!"

"Or what, Mildred?" The two spent a few moments growling at each other.

"Aww. Isn't it just great to see each other again?" Chris giggled.

"Well, anyway, before we decide teams, I've got a first challenge, for each of you individually." Katie and Sadie hugged each other tighter. "I've put a flagpole somewhere on the island. You will all have to go out and find it. The last person to touch it gets booted off immediately. And that's touch it, not kiss it, Bridgette."

"I will never live that down, will I?" Bridgette groaned.

"Hmm, no you won't. Haha! Now GO!" Chris yelled.

Gwen walked towards the forest. Almost immediately, Duncan caught up with her. "Hey, what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?", he smirked. "Ummm... competing?" Gwen replied, looking around her for flagpoles.

"Well, hold on a sec!" Duncan said. Gwen stopped, looking at Duncan sideways. "...Why?"

"I need to show you something." He dragged her towards a tree, stopping and giving her a moment to inspect said tree.

"Didn't you already do this on Courtney's head?", she asked. The tree had "DxC" scratched on it.

"Well, I did it here too." Duncan muttered. "You're really just a big sap, aren't you?" Gwen grinned. "Hell no!" Duncan protested, reddening just a bit. "So why are you showing me this?" Gwen asked. "Because I remembered doing this back in Season One, and I needed to do..." He took out his knife and turned it into "DxG". "...this." Duncan looked at Gwen, smiling. "Not a sap at all, huh?" Gwen smirked and kissed him.

Meanwhile, Owen sat next to Blaineley, who refused to even get off the dock. "Well, why don't you want to do this challenge? Is it because you're afraid of flagpoles?", he asked. "No, you morbidly obese moron! I don't want to compete!", she answered. "Well, why not?" Owen looked around, hoping to be able to find the flagpole and talk to Blaineley at the same time. "Ugh, are you really that thick?" Blaineley yelled. "Wait, actually. Don't answer that." Owen sighed.

Lindsay and Beth walked around together. "Where do you think the flagpole is?" Lindsay asked. "Umm... I dunno..." Beth looked at Lindsay with a blank stare. "Oh, but how are we gonna find it then?" Lindsay moaned.

"Hey, Lindsay! Wait up!" Tyler ran towards the two. About four feet from the two, he tripped over a branch on the ground and fell. He landed right in front of Lindsay's feet. Lindsay gasped and bent over to help him get up.

"Tyler! Are you okay?" "Well, you remember me, so that's a start..." Lindsay just giggled and walked along the path they were on, with Tyler and Beth following.

"Maybe we should just walk along the beach..." Bridgette said, turning around to look at Geoff. "Hmm, maybe. But what if the flagpole is literally at the other end of the island?", he answered. Bridgette sighed. "This is just like when we had to find that suitcase after Season One!" Bridgette noted. "Yeah, except we were making out then..." Geoff said, wiggling his eyebrows seductively. "Not now, Geoff." Bridgette said. She then saw Courtney walking towards the two. "Oh, hey Courtney!"

Courtney smiled, happy to have found someone who doesn't dislike her. "Hey! Um, can I look with you guys?" Bridgette smiled. "Of course you can! We were gonna walk along the beach." Geoff raised an eyebrow for two reasons, the first being that apparently they were gonna walk along the beach, and the second being that they were gonna walk with Courtney. "Well, while I respect that idea, I think we should..." She then continued to rattle off a long reasoning of why they should search somewhere else, making sure to include the fact that she used to be a C.I.T. several times.

"Oh my god, we're totally lost again!" "Oh my god, this so wasn't my fault this time!" "Oh my god, It wasn't my fault either!" The two walked around aimlessly for a while, until they ran into Alejandro. "Ladies, would you be so kind as to join me in my search for the flagpole?" he said, making sure to be as charming as possible.

"Katie, can we talk for a sec?" Sadie dragged Katie away. "Oh my god, this guy is evil, remember! We can't join him!", she said, pointing a finger at Katie. "Oh my god, yeah, but look at him! He is so dreamy!" Katie swooned. "Oh my god, I know, but he's heinous beyond words! We'll go on without..." As she talked, she looked at Alejandro, who had taken his shirt off. "Ohhh... Okay then!" Sadie squealed, and the girls ran towards a smirking Alejandro.

"Oh god, all the memories! Ugh, this place is so gross!" Heather walked through the woods, repressing the urge to vomit, preferrably onto one of the cameras.

She groaned as she thought of all the bad memories. 'Stuck with 21 dumb people, and later joined by three more, disgusting food, a complete lack of both comfort and privacy, terrible showers (Lindsay wasn't wrong on that account), life-threatening challenges, and worst of all, the removal of my hair.' Maybe she shouldn't try to find the flagpole. '...Maybe I shouldn't win 2 million dollars...' Heather groaned again, knowing that Chris knew she wasn't going anywhere.

"Hold up, skinny legs!" Harold stopped walking and turned around. Leshawna caught up with him. "Maybe we could use some of your... wicked skills here." Harold smiled. "I think so too. I'm sure I'll be the first one to find the pole. With these glasses, I have the eyes of a hawk. That's the animal with the best eyesight in the world. That's in the daylight at least. In the nighttime it's the Great Horned Owl. I learned that at-" "You know what, how 'bout you just look and don't talk."

"Guys! Wait up!" Cody ran over to Eva and Noah, who were walking through the woods. They both turned around, slightly irritated. "Yes, Cody?" Noah did not need Cody being annoying and paranoid. Then again, he kinda got why Cody would be paranoid. Sierra was psycho. "Can you guys make sure Sierra doesn't get near me?" Cody asked, shivering. "Forget it, Cody. You're on your own here." Eva said, turning around to look for the flagpole again.

"Hold on, Eva." Noah stopped her, symphatising with Cody just a little bit. "We can take him with us. Just don't slow us down." "Sure! No prob!" Cody sighed in relief.

"Hey guys! Have you seen Cody?" Sierra popped up. Eva pushed Cody behind a tree. "I don't think so.", she said, nervously looking around. "Actually, I'm fairly sure he went skinny dipping at the beach." Noah said. Sierra squee'd and ran off at a frightening speed. "Why the skinny dipping part?" Cody asked as he walked from behind the tree. "To get her away faster." Noah smirked. "It worked, didn't it?"

"Hey, honey?" Geoff grabbed Bridgette's arm, pulling her back from where she was walking besides Courtney. "Yes?", she asked, looking at Geoff. "Why did you invite Courtney along?", he asked. "Well, she doesn't have a lot of friends here anymore, and I really don't mind her that much..." Bridgette answered. "Hmm. Well, okay then." Geoff muttered, clearly not happy with it yet.

Katie and Sadie hopped behind Alejandro, giggling. "Girls, could you check inside that cave for me?" "Oh my god, of course, Alejandro!", the two said in unison. They ran inside the cave. Instead of finding the flagpole there, they found Justin, who was looking for the flagpole in there as well.

"Hey, girls." Sadie squealed. "Would you girls want to join me and look for the flagpole together?" he asked. Sadie giggled and nodded immediately, but Katie dragged her away. "Oh my god, he was a bad guy too! We can't join the both of them!" Katie complained. "Yeah, but Justin wasn't that bad! And look at him!" Katie obliged, sneaking a peek at the muscled teenager. Who had taken his shirt off. "Ohhh, of course!" The two started hopping behind Justin as he walked out of the cave, where Alejandro was waiting.

"Girls, what are you doing?" Alejandro asked, peering at Justin. "Oh my god, uhhh..." Katie couldn't figure out what to say. "Simple. They chose me over you." Justin smirked. "Impossible. Girls, you couldn't reject this, could you?" Alejandro said to the girls, taking his shirt off again. The girls stood between the two shirtless boys.

A Hot-off had just begun.

"OMG, you guys, have you seen Cody?" Sierra asked Lindsay, who she had found at the beach, along with Beth and Tyler. "No, I don't think so..." Lindsay said, slowly. "Cody's the one with the mohawk, right?" "No, Lindsay, that's Duncan!" Beth said. "But wasn't Duncan the cute one with the headband?" Lindsay said. "No Lindsay, that's me!" Tyler groaned. "Oh yeah!" Lindsay giggled. "But then who is Cody?"

"Only the cutest boy EVER!" Sierra screamed. "So you're Cody?" Lindsay asked Tyler. "Nooo!" Tyler tried to explain it all again, but Beth interrupted him. "It's better to just give her some time. Anyway, we haven't seen Cody." "But Noah said he was skinny dipping at the beach!" Sierra said. "Skinny dipping? While there's a challenge going on? I don't think Cody would do that..." Tyler said. "But then Noah lied!" Sierra exclaimed. "Yeah, he did." Tyler said, rolling his eyes.

DJ stood in a clearing in the woods, sobbing hysterically. He had tried to break the curse, but nothing worked. And look at him now! He had already made a tree fall onto two rabbits, and he had stepped on a snake's head. He wasn't competing, no way. He was just gonna wait in the safe clearing until everybody had touched the pole before him. It was gonna be bye bye for him. For sure.

Trent walked onto the clearing as well to find DJ sitting there alone and unmoving. "Hey DJ, what's up? Why aren't you looking for the flagpole?" "The curse isn't broken, Trent. I'm still hurting all those poor animals!" "Oh, wow. Why didn't you tell Chris?" Trent asked. "Are you crazy? Chris would fling hundreds of animals at me. No way I'm telling him." DJ answered, horrified at the idea. "But didn't you just indirectly tell him anyway?" The realisation hit DJ. "OH GOD, WHY?", he yelled, raising his fists towards the sky. Instantly, a goat, a cat and a squirrel fell onto his fists, hurting them. "Why...WHY?" DJ cried.

"You know, once I win the money, I'll make sure this entire show gets cancelled. I'm sure two million dollars can do that. And I'll just sue the network if that doesn't work. So anyway... Look! There's the flagpole!" Courtney yelled. "Oh my god, you're right! We won!" Bridgette squealed. Geoff instantly grabbed her and kissed her passionately while Courtney ran over to the pole and touched it. "Yes!" Bridgette and Geoff moved over to the pole and touched it while making out.

"Well, girls? Who are you gonna go with?" Alejandro asked. "I don't want to put any pressure on you. I'm a nice guy." Justin argued. The two girls were starting to panic, when suddenly they heard Courtney yelling. The four looked at each other and then ran towards the noise.

"OMG! Did you hear that! OMG, OMG, OMG! Let's go!" Sierra screeched. "Yeah!" Tyler yelled out, running towards the source of the noise. He managed to trip over a branch every five seconds. "Come on, Tyler, we haven't got all day!" Beth said. Sierra was already gone. "Wait, why are we running towards Courtney?" Lindsay asked. "Because she found the flagpole!" Beth answered, patiently enough. "...So?" "Listen, Linds. If we get to the flagpole, we're still in the game!" "OH! Well, let's go then!" Lindsay giggled.

Eva, Noah and Cody made it to the flagpole next, seeing as they were already close. "Jesus, woman, did you know steroids shouldn't be taken for breakfast?" Noah said in between breaths. "Well, it would certainly help you." Eva retaliated. "Thanks for helping me out guys, I really appreciate it." Cody squeaked. "No problem, Cody." Noah said, walking away. "Eh, whatever." Eva said, also walking away. Cody grinned for a second, before he had to hide behind Geoff and Bridgette, seeing as Sierra showed up. His hiding place was too flimsy however, as Sierra picked him right up and hugged him. "So there you are!" She squealed. She then glared at Noah. She ran to touch the flagpole, and made sure Cody did so as well. Eva and Noah touched the flagpole, laughing at Cody.

"Well, looks like your hawk-eyes got us lost." Leshawna and Harold had heard Courtney yell, vaguely. So they ran as fast as they could (which, in Leshawna's case especially, wasn't fast) to make sure they wouldn't get there last. But the both of them didn't really pick up where the noise came from exactly, and they were now in the middle of the woods. "Well, maybe if someone had been faster..." Harold retorted. "Well, maybe if yo' skinny little legs hadn't made you trip over themselves..." Leshawna fired back. Harold sighed. "This isn't working. We shouldn't fight." Leshawna looked down, playing with a pebble, kicking it with her foot. "I guess you're right..." Harold smiled and went in for a kiss. At that moment, Sierra's squealing could be clearly heard nearby. "Was that stalker girl? We might still win this! Let's go!" Harold sighed again as Leshawna ran off. "Gosh."

"Hurry! If we get to the flagpole last, one of us will be booted off!" Gwen yelled. They had been fairly close to where Courtney had been yelling, but Duncan seemed more interested in making out than in winning. "Whoa, didn't you wanna have some fun, babe?" Duncan smirked while running along. "I certainly don't want to turn into the new Geoff and Bridgette..." Gwen looked back at Duncan, with an eyebrow raised. "But that wouldn't be that bad, would it?" Duncan wiggled his eyebrows. Gwen just rolled her eyes as they reached the flagpole.

Courtney saw them coming and instantly ran towards them. "Hah! I won! I got here before you!" "Umm, Courtney, hate to break it to you, but... there really isn't any importance to getting here first..." Gwen said, cautiously. "Yeah, well... Suck it!" Courtney stated before walking back to where she was standing near the flagpole. Gwen and Duncan tried to touch it, but Courtney guarded it like a watch dog. It was only after Bridgette calmed her down that the two could touch the flagpole, which was also about the time Katie, Sadie, Justin and Alejandro arrived at the flagpole.

"Oh my god, we made it!" Sadie said, jumping up and down. "Oh my god, you're right! Let's go touch it!" The two ran over to the flagpole and touched it, while making sure never to let go of each other's hand. Justin and Alejandro calmly walked over to the flagpole, glaring the entire way. Justin touched it first, but as Alejandro reached out to touch it, Heather jumped out and pushed him away. "Hah!" She then touched the pole herself (for like a millisecond because, ew, gross!). Alejandro stood back up, rubbing his back. He then touched the pole, wondering what Heather was trying to do, pushing him away. He certainly didn't lose anything...

"Oh, look, look! There it is! The flagpoooole!" Lindsay jumped up and down for a few seconds before running towards the flagpole. "Alright! Coming through!" Tyler yelled, running past her, tripping on yet another branch, and landing right next to the flagpole. He touched it, barely managing to raise his hand to do so. "Nice one. Tell me, do you ever actually use your feet right?" Noah felt the need to ask. Lindsay giggled as she stepped on Tyler's back to touch the flagpole herself. Beth just calmly went over and touched the flagpole. Lindsay squealed and hugged her. "We made it!", she said, dancing around the flagpole. Tyler stuck his thumb up for a second.

"Come on now, DJ. A lot of the animals were trying to hurt you as well..." Trent tried to argue. "But what about this goat? Or the snake over there? Or the cute little bunnies? Or that cat? Where did that poor thing even come from?" DJ said, welling up as he spoke. "Listen DJ, I'm afraid most of the people are already at the flagpole. If you want to go, you can go. I'm going to try and find the pole." Trent said, patting the guy's shoulder before making an attempt to leave. A thought then popped into his head, and he turned towards DJ again. Somehow, he had managed to hurt a raccoon in the short time Trent had his back turned towards him. "You know, the curse won't fade as you leave. Since it started on the show, maybe the solution is in the show." DJ looked up. He thought about it for a second, and then stood. A bird flew against his head and fell down. "You're right! I have to stop this, and I'll figure out how!" DJ said, his confidence coming back to him. "Great! But then we'll have to hurry to the flagpole. Come on!"

"But... I'm here... Won't it be nice to hang out with me?" Owen tried. Blaineley groaned. "No offense, but I'd rather hang out with Josh. He's doing the Aftermath, you know.", she said, still unmoving. "Well, umm..." Owen looked for a reason to get her to stay. "Why do you want me to stay, anyway?" Blaineley asked. "I dunno. I just thought it'd be nice for everyone I like to be on the island...", he answered. "You like me?" Blaineley said, raising her head to look him in the eyes. "Well, yeah. You don't seem as mean as Heather, or Alejandro. I don't know why the rest doesn't like you, really..." Owen said. Blaineley thought about it for a second, then slumped back down again. "I'm still not going." Owen sighed and thought as hard as he could (Which, admittedly, still wasn't that hard). Then, he gasped and said: "Two million dollars!" "What?" Blaineley said, looking back at the giant. "If you win, you get two million dollars! Who doesn't like two million dollars?", he yelled. Blaineley gasped as well, and then stood. "That's it. I'm going!" "Alright!" Owen said, laughing and turning around to find out that Izzy was standing there.

"Why are you so nice to the Mildred?", she asked. "Ummm... Yeah, uhhh... I, uh, I..." Owen shuffled around. "You can't talk to the Mildred!" Izzy yelled. "Zizzy Dizzy forbids it!" Owen cowered. "Now, let's go! I know where the flagpole is!" Apparently, Izzy was fine again, laughing as she grabbed Owen and sprinted towards the flagpole. "Hey!" Blaineley yelled out. "Don't leave me here! Hello? Hey!", she yelled at Izzy as she ran after them.

Izzy managed to get Owen to the flagpole in less than a minute. "Zizzy Dizzy! Ha ha!", she yelled out as she grabbed the flagpole. Owen touched it as well, looking behind him. Maybe Blaineley wasn't going to make it... Harold and Leshawna followed, with Harold nearly hyperventilating as the two touched the flagpole. "I ain't never gonna team up with you again!" Leshawna yelled out. DJ and Trent ran over to the flagpole and touched it. "Are we too late?" Trent asked. "I don't think so. Blaineley and Ezekiel aren't here yet." Bridgette said. At that moment, Blaineley ran towards the group. "Am I... Wait, is it over?" Blaineley asked. "No! Ezekiel isn't here yet and you-" Owen got cut off by Chef walking onto the field. "This damn nitwit tried to search through my damn kitchen looking for the flagpole. Bunch of incompetent teenagers, the lot of you...", he said as he threw Ezekiel against the flagpole. "NO!" Blaineley screamed. Chris appeared, climbing off the ladder of his helicopter.

"Haha... This is good. Blaineley, seeing as you're the only person who hasn't touched the flagpole yet, it's see ya time for you. Dock's that-a-way."

"No! No no no no no no no! I refuse to leave now! I'm not going anywhere!" Chris signed for two interns to lead her to the dock.

"NOOOO! I DESERVE THOSE TWO MILLION DOLLARS! THIS IS SO UNFAIR! LET ME GO! UGH!" Blaineley screamed while the interned dragged her over to the Dock of Shame.

"Oh... Good times, you guys. Anyways, this was the first episode of Total Drama Tournament. Blaineley turned out to be more incompetent than Ezekiel, though only by chance, and Courtney won. Which sucks, because she'll get really obnoxious without realising that there's no prize for winning. Next episode, we'll divide these losers into teams-" Chris got cut off by a faint (maybe not so faint) voice (Eva) in the background: "And you better not pair me up with some weaklings!"

"Riiight. Anywho, watch who gets the boot, and who gets the loot, next episode of Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

"I can't believe this. I thought I could count on that Chef, but he's turned out to be more worthless than Chris and my agent put together. Ugh! Well, I don't need this show anyway. I'm sure I'll get... plenty offers... Oh, who am I kidding? I don't have a job! Damn it! I NEED THAT GODDAMN MONEY! FUCK YOU, CHRIS MCLEAN! AARGH!"

"Wait... Co-host of the Aftermath show? Really?"

Well, that was the first chapter/episode/whatever! About halfway into writing it, I had three endings in my head: One where Blaineley lost, one where Trent lost and one where Ezekiel lost. I chose Blaineley, because she's like 30 or something.

So I tried to keep everyone in-character, which is hard because there's 27 characters. But for now, I did the best I could.

I decided that, after every episode, the loser gets their own little elimination speech. No one will hear, seeing as the person who lost is already a few miles away from the island at that point, but they deserve to vent.

If there's anything you want to see differently, any suggestions, or just comments, review! Seriously, review. It gives me life. Do eet.

See ya next time, I hope!