A/N:

Reviews: I love the LunaxGeorge pair as well! I had so many people asking about the twins and the Weasleys I couldn't resist. They do make a very sensible couple though. I didn't know how to do Rolf, plus I could picture how George will react in later chapters *Smirk*

To BlackCatHikari: No I'm not really bringing in the Hollows, currently can't remember if I mentioned that already, but as much as I love Master of Death!Harry, this Harry is just bad ass single father commander of the Unspeakables Harry. I won't bring in the Hollows, with the exception of the cloak, cuz that's always been in the story and is an heirloom. The wand and stone are still canon. Which is, indeed, different than a number of other HPxAvengers crossovers, not that they aren't awesome for that, I'm a devoted Crestfallen fan after all.

To a Guest and any of you who had this question and didn't voice it: I had a guest pose this question: "why do harry needs to work with the avangers if he is the commander of British unspeakables and had many squads under him[?]" The answer to this is actually made me do a diagram to properly explain it since I thought the story did already. This is a three part answer, so bear with me:

1) Harry doesn't 'need' to work with the Avengers, he hasto. Harry works within the Ministry of Magic for Britain. As a foreign diplomat and operative requested by the USMNA he technically is there as a consultant. The only reason he's working with the Avengers is because he's working with the USMNA who referred him to SHIELD who started up the Avengers Initiative. This leads to part two.

2) Harry is a consultant from a foreign power. He has no authority to bring in his own troops without prior consultation or directive from his own government with the acceptance of the USMNA. While the ICW and numerous other magical governments are currently dissatisfied at the USMNA for dropping the ball, it is still under their control since the items were found in their domain, which brings us to our final point. Luna can be there since she's his aide, and thus allowed to have a few assistants. He left without them. Thus…

3) Since Harry can't call in his troops without prior clearance, he has to work with what the UMSNA and their associates can give him. IE the Avengers. To all of you who are thinking Harry is an Avenger, or will become one, he is not and currently I do not plan for him to. Harry is working with the Avengers for the sole purpose of protecting the Statute of Secrecy and the global population in general. He has been parts of the fights due to his consultant work and the orders he is under to assist the USMNA in the recovery of the item. And as stated in point one, he has to, not voluntarily agreed to.

Harry's main purpose in the UMSNA is to get rid of the last of the Deatheaters, however it's become a secondary priority when it turned out the tesseract was not secure.

I hope this clears up any confusion. If any of my dear readers have any questions, I will be happy to answer them to the fullest of my capabilities so you may continue enjoying my work.

Disclaimer: I don't own either of these franchise or characters. Any mention of any TMs or properties belonging to others means they still belong to others. No COPY RIGHT infringement meant.

Pear Shaped

Definition: something that goes wrong, becomes a disaster

Chapter 6: A Wizard, A Seer, and a Hulk?

The rest of the team watched as the two British members dissolved into what could simply be called 'family' talk.

"I know George and Fred messed up with the whole broom thing Harry, but really, it has been four years." Luna said soothingly as Harry huffed.

"I know Luna, but…" the black haired wizard sighed. "Imagine he's your first born. Adorable, intelligent and lovable in every manner," the blond nodded, "it was his first birthday party, his FIRST there will never be another like it no matter how many more. Everything was planned to the smallest effect. You tell your closest friends your exact plans for the first two big gift giving parties to make sure they won't ruin it. I would have been perfectly fine if they'd gotten him his first Quidditch set… But the broom. That's a father or godfather's job." Harry pouted. Luna sighed and nodded. "There's no way I'm letting them get my five year old his first racing broom even if the age wasn't a factor. They already took the training and toddler brooms away from me. I want to do it." The conversation went on from there.

"I love Molly," Luna complained, "but we aren't having our first child just to appease her. We'll have him or her when we're ready." Harry nodded sympathetically.

"At least she and Andy aren't trying to set you up with anyone. I'm still single and have been on a few outings, but that doesn't mean I want to suddenly have another person in my life. I have a five year old for the love of Merlin. Dating, working, and parenting altogether just isn't an option." The blond nodded.

"George still remembers and comments on when Angela and Fred had just gotten married and we'd begun dating. It was nonstop, 'have you met anyone?' 'What is she like?' 'Aren't you going to introduce her to us?' 'Is she the marrying type?' Do you remember the first family dinner George and I went together as a couple?"

"Oh, the questions about how many children you were thinking of having, and the comments on how tiny your hips were." Harry said with a groan. Luna charmed her hair red and stood with her hands on her hips wagging a finger in Harry's face making him bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"'You'll have a hard time pushing the baby's head out with those hips dearie, why I remember the twins, both of them felt like their heads were the size of quaffles.'" The pair said together. Steve, Tony and Thor merely watched on in muted interest. Well, Thor's was, Tony's mouth was gaping open and his eyes were darting back and forth between the speakers. Steve, on the other hand, was flush red in a mixture of embarrassment and humor.

"I nearly died laughing," Harry said with a laugh as he shifted in his seat and Luna took her place next to him again charming her hair back to blond.

"Well it gets funnier I guess since George nearly killed Fred a week after. Apparently, Fred made a shirt with Molly repeating that over and over in a word bubble." Luna said with a snicker. The wizard's mouth dropped open and he laughed.

"No, and Fred never told me?" Harry said trying to keep the hysteria down.

"Told you? George burned it and his twin the second he saw it, almost obliviated that dinner from Fred's memory as well just to prevent such a thing from happening again." Luna said snidely. "Of course, that just made Fred make the shirt again and this time charming it to actually say it aloud. It practically made George faint when I wore it to our six month anniversary. He was so shocked he dropped the engagement ring down into a gutter! He had a hell of a time getting it back out."

"So that's why he never told us how he proposed!" Harry cackled. "Oh, that was evil Luna," Harry said appreciatively, "Positively evil."

"I thought it was suiting." Luna said with a faint smirk. "A prankster's wife has to be one herself, y'know."

.-.

Fury watched as the jet landed. The pilot quickly disembarked followed by Agent Romanoff. Behind her came the captain and Stark. Thor appeared next with Loki thrown over his shoulder like a trussed up chicken, a ball gag in his mouth and his clothes a shockingly pink and purple mixture of stripes, polka dots, and what appeared to be paisley smiley face print. Following him were the two foreign operatives which he immediately focused on. The first, still a peculiar and troubling worry, was the commander; however his one eye zeroed in on the delicate blond behind him. The pair were, surprisingly, unassuming looking.

"Commander," Nick called out, and shifted a bit uncomfortably when the duo's attention zeroed in on him.

"Director," Potter said when they finally reached him. "May I introduce you to Lieutenant Artemis? Lieutenant this is Nick Fury, the Director of SHIELD. Director, this is Luna Weasley, or as referred to in the field of combat, Lieutenant Artemis, my personal aide and secretary." The woman bowed briefly and shook his hand after straightening and offering him a rather absent smile.

"It's good to meet you Lieutenant," Nick said.

"You've got an infestation chasing after you," Luna said abruptly.

"What?" Was the surprised response from Fury.

"Watch out for Wrackspurts, they'll cloud your mind, after all…" Her gaze slid away from him and back after Loki. "You have a member of their inner court now aboard." She blinked and then gazed around in a touch of confusion. A glimmer of recognition appeared on her face and a significant look went between the two British members.

"Is her room set up?" Harry asked suddenly making the SHIELD director refocus on the matter at hand and the not the weird advice the blond handed out like toothpaste from a dentist after cleaning session.

"Yes, it's right next to yours, commander. Will she need the same accommodations that you received as well?" Nick asked earning a nod from the duo. "Well…"

"I'll get her settled in." Harry said smoothly moving his aide and friend towards the interior door. "I want to introduce you to Bruce. I need your help on researching his condition…"

Staring after them Nick couldn't help but file away that little tidbit away before snapping at a trailing agent, "Get our defenses online and aware of any incoming planes or helicopters."

.-.

Harry dragged Luna into the room almost immediately, shutting the door after him with a solid click ignoring the surprised look on Steve's face as they didn't stop or recognize his greeting.

"Merlin," the older wizard breathed before pinning Luna with a firm look. The young woman glanced back sheepishly. "Luna, what did I tell you about Scanning outside associates without my express permission? You know you can't control what you say when that happens."

"I'm sorry, but my powers just surged around him. I, and probably any reasonable Seer, have been sensing impending change and power nonstop for the past two years. The second my exterior sense caught a taste of the power spilling around him, they went on overdrive and out of my control." Luna said blushing lightly. Only the most powerful or weakest Seers had things like this happen to them. They sensed the very magic or power spill of fate around certain people so strongly that it overpowered their barriers, instinctive or self-made, and forced them to say something about it. Luna was very powerful, and she was almost always assailed with visions, senses, and trails of thoughts. So much so that she usually deadened her abilities' probes to a reasonable input level. That she had such a spillover was almost terrifying.

"Are we in over our heads?" Harry asked seriously. The woman paced away and Harry could feel her power flare over his senses. She turned back after stuffing it back in.

"Not yet," she murmured, "but we're going to need a lot of back up within the next thirty-eight hours or so. Maybe even less," her gaze turned away from him. Harry sighed.

"I'll contact the Minister. You begin mobilizing the lower members. Also get ahold of the Head of the DMLE and the Head Auror. We'll have to speak with the UMSNA representative, see if I can't get more leeway and some support." Harry ordered before moving over to do his own work.

.-.

Steve returned and moved through the halls, feeling rather lost. He had wanted to get a small drink before heading to the conference room and instead ended up near the labs. Looking through the windows he spotted Bruce and decided to greet him.

The door whooshed open and Bruce glanced up with an arched brow before an awkward, but warm smile appeared on his face.

"Steve," Bruce said.

"Hey Bruce," Steve replied back,

"You need me for something? Fury perhaps called for me?" Bruce turned away from the machines he was working on and leaned against the counter.

"Nope, I got lost looking for the mess hall and saw you through a window and thought I'd say hi," Steve admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of his head boyishly. Bruce's awkward smile widened.

"Ah, well, are you hungry? Because I'm nearly done, and I don't mind taking you there." Bruce offered.

"Nope, I was hoping to get some water or soda," Steve said.

"Well there are a few water bottles and soda cans in the refrigerator there," Bruce pointed to a cupboard, and Steve opened it to find some fruit, a half-eaten sandwich, cold French fries, ketchup, mustard, coffee creamer, and the afore mentioned drinks. He took two out and offered one to Bruce who took it with a nod of thanks.

"So you and the others are back?" Bruce said as he sat on a stool. "You and Harry alright?"

"We're fine," Steve replied, "Though Harry took a bit of knock when Stark mistook him for Loki and blasted him." Bruce blinked in surprise.

"Tony Stark attacked Harry?" The scientist demanded annoyance clear in his voice.

"Yeah," Steve frowned, "He's a bit reckless."

"Who? Stark?" Bruce asked wryly. "He's a playboy I hear. Brilliant, but dabbles a lot. I've read it's because his parents ignored him a lot. One of the 60-Minute interview programs said his mother was an absentee socialite and his father caught up in your disappearance and building his company. It was only the fact Stane murdered them that Stark is in charge of the company."

Steve lifted his soda can away from his mouth and stared at Bruce in shock.

"Howard was murdered by Obadiah?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," Bruce nodded grimly, "He also tried to assassinate Stark. That's where the suit came from. He was held prisoner after he was kidnapped by a terrorist ring."

"Darn it," Steve sighed. "Now I'm feeling bad about how I punched him."

"Don't be," Bruce stated dryly, "I've seen paparazzi photos of his own girlfriend doing it."

"Still," Steve said sipping his soda again and getting up to grab the cold fries and setting it between them. "To know that his own father ignored him to find me makes me feel kind of responsible for how he was raised." Bruce grimaced but shrugged, taking the plate of fries and microwaving it quickly to the captain's fascinated eyes before fetching condiments. Bruce set it between them, just as a figure surrounded by guards passed by. Bruce glanced up and met the gaze of Loki curiously. Steve followed his line of sight and scowled at the former prince of Asgard.

"Such a strange fellow," Bruce muttered.

"He's an alien, what do you expect?" Steve asked diverting the scientist's focus. They both ate a few bites of the French fries before Steve said.

"Wanna go find, Harry?" Steve asked, remembering Harry's frustrated expression as he dragged his aide into his room for a private powwow. Bruce glanced at him mid-bite and nodded in acceptance.

"Sure."

.-.

Harry threw his sweaty shirt down on the bed and paused in removing his buckle when there was a knock on his door. Throwing the damp towel he was using to clean off some of his sweat over his shoulder, he walked over to the door and opened it. Bruce and Steve stood there mid knock.

"Hey," Harry said as he wiped at the damp skin on his neck. Both of the men seemed stuck on the different scars and the edge of a tattoo that appeared to be covering the backside of Harry's left hip and lower back.

"Hey," Bruce said rather blankly taking in the scars. The tattoo was a bit of a surprise.

"Come on in," Harry said turning his back to them.

"You seemed kind of upset earlier," Steve said as the two American came in. He cocked his head to the side studying the ink that climbed from the center of Harry's lower back, over his left side and stopping below his shoulder blades except for a few things. It was thing of beauty and as an artist it made Steve's fingers twitch in need grab a pencil and copy it.

"What kind of bird is it?" Bruce asked studying the bright red and gold bird that was perched beautifully against a branch covered in white blossoms with a slender sword, perhaps a rapier, held in its beak. Harry paused in grabbing a fresh shirt and glanced over his shoulder.

"A phoenix," Harry said almost wistfully before shaking his head and focusing on Steve's question.

"I was, but it wasn't your fault," Harry said. "My aide just brought something to my attention that is rather… Discomforting."

"Aide?" Bruce asked.

"Me." Luna said from behind them. Both jumped, surprised to be surprised. The two men had exceedingly powerful senses due to their physical states. The Hulk sensed and felt everything at a higher degree while the superserum improved everything past its peak condition.

"Luna," Harry reprimanded her with a slight tone of exasperation. "I told you not to purposefully startle people when we're working."

"Sorry Commander," the woman said drifting in on a cloud of gossamer fabric.

"Never mind," Harry said. "Luna, this is Dr. Bruce Banner. He's in charge of finding the tesseract, and you remember Steve Rogers, Captain America." Luna smile at the brunet and blond before drifting over. "Bruce this is Luna Weasley."

"It's nice to meet you Doctor, Captain," she said softly. Steve shook her hand when it was offered.

"Erm, it is nice to meet you as well Ms. Weasley." Bruce said awkwardly.

"It's missus actually, but you can just call me Luna." Luna said warmly. "It's Lieutenant Artemis in the field however."

"Bruce and Steve will be staying with me for a while after this whole mess clears up," Harry told his aide who smile brightened even more. Both of the other men stared at him for his blithe attitude.

"That sounds like fun. Maybe I'll send George over so you can all have some boy bonding. Get Angelica and Hermione to do the same and then have a girl week. Hermione will probably need it after the wedding fiasco." Luna said brightly. Harry grinned and made a noncommittal noise. She wrinkled her nose before drifting back out of the room with airy goodbye.

Bruce blinked after her then glanced at Harry who just grinned at him. "She married my best friend's older brother and one of my closest friends. She's family."

.-.

Harry went back up the bridge with Steve and Bruce after he finished getting dressed. The green shirt was one of the Weasley's Gag Ware items. It had a young wizard on the front eating a Canary Cream and transforming into a similarly sized canary depicted in, as one would expect, in glaring canary yellow and white. This had prompted Bruce quizzing the wizard whether it was actually possible, who was then completely thrilled to learn it was.

"This is one of their tamer shirts," Harry confessed when they finally reached the room. "There's one that was inspired by those Muggle bikini top shirts, and when you walk they—" Harry cleared his throat and both of the other men were flushed in a mix of embarrassment and humor. However, no one in the room paid them any mind.

"What's going on?" Harry asked as he noted only some lowly grunts and Agent Hill manning the different consoles. Director Fury was off doing one of his usual director jobs probably. They were all staring at something on the ceiling. The three newcomers to the room followed their line of sight and Harry snorted in amusement when he saw what they were all staring at. Luna was perched on the top of some type of ledge painting a mural around the different skylights and such. It was quite pretty. Fury would most likely pitch a fit.

"Luna?" Harry called making the woman pause and glance down.

"Hullo," she said before turning back and continuing. Harry merely shook his head and went to his seat. The doors opened and Thor came in with Natasha escorting him. He looked quite upset and the duo paused before reaching the table seeing the trained stares. Their eyes trailed up and then stopped on the slender blond figure.

"How did the blond waif get up there?" Thor asked aloud, his upset forgotten in place of confusion.

"She just…" Hill just waved her hand, "pulled out a stick, tapped herself with it and up she floated!"

"Fascinating," Thor said. Natasha merely looked miffed that she was being showed up by being the best climber/gymnast if one could call it that.

"Luna, just make sure to exclude any heliopaths," was all Harry said.

.-.

They watched Fury as he stared at the mural and Harry had to keep from laughing as the man turned to scowl at the blond woman who merely arched a brow at him.

"Refrain from doing it again," Fury grunted.

Luna blinked at him owlishly.

"Commander Phoenix?" Fury glanced at the man who straight tened.

"Yes, Director?" Harry replied.

"Would you care to greet our guest and explain what will happen if he decides to misbehave?" Fury asked. Harry's lips curved.

"I can do that."

.-.

Harry refused the offer for time to go back to his room to change and merely followed the older man to the holding cell.

Loki eyed them in an almost reptilian manner, cold and distant but stinkly capable of squashing or eating you like prey.

"Good evening," Loki drawled staring straight at the other magic user in the room. Harry leaned against the wall, silently observing him, as Nick moved to a control panel.

"In case it's unclear…" Nick drawled slowly, opening a massive hole in the "If you try to escape, so much as scratch that glass. It's thirty thousand feet straight down in a steel trap. When it hits," he sneered, "You'll be unresponsive like many of my men and women were when you attacked them. An effective solution to my dilemma of killing you slowly or letting someone else do so. I merely let gravity do all the heavy lifting."

"It's an impressive cage…Not meant for me, I should think." Loki sneered, stepping back and grandstanding in the center of the cylindrical cell. Harry's eyes narrowed on it and felt some deep seated annoyance bubble in his chest. The implications were clear and Loki was using this chance to break the tenuous trust in the different members of this group.

"Yes, not for you," Harry straightened and stepped forward, "Tell me Loki… Does Asgardian magic not allow you to escape this hold? My people could easily escape such a hold." Loki's eyes narrowed sharply on Harry as he strode forward.

"Well… I don't have scepter now, do I?" He answered mockingly.

"Don't lie to me, Loki," Harry hissed, holding a hand out and allowing his magic to form a twisting ball of fire in the palm, one of the simpler wandless magic he knew. "Your legends never mentioned a scepter. You were not using one during your last visit. Or…" A shot of brilliance shot through Harry, "Are you so weak after your trip through the abyss that you now require help? Was Thor right? Is there someone controlling the would-be king?"

"I will be king!" Loki shouted.

"Please," Harry snorted, "Then what? Become king of a world that will never be satisfied with your rule and have to be constantly on edge and fearful of a uprising? You aren't a one-man army…" Loki twitched and both leaders noted it.

"It only takes one to be successful," Fury drawled, as both Harry and his minds spiraled out of control to try and figure out what this new information gave them.

"I'm not the one relying on unreliable beasts," Loki snarled. Harry's eyes flashed and suddenly he was in the cell and his hands were wrapping around the shocked Asgardian's collar, choking him as he was dragged down to meet his gaze.

"You threaten anyone in my care again, and I will show you what kind of sentinel I am. Bruce is no mindless beast." Then Harry disappeared back to his original spot.

"Your precious lost creature! Pretending to be a man…" Loki hissed.

"The great things about being lost and pretending," Harry snapped as he turned away, "Is that something lost can always be found. Unfortunately for you, Loki, your pretending to be a king, does not make you one, nor does you pretending that Bruce is anything less than who he is, a humble scientist dealt a bad hand and making the most of what he has." The green eyes, darkened and glowing, turned to glare one final time as Harry stepped out the door, "All of us have a darker side. You seem to have lost control of yours, and raise the ire of mine."

"Your desperation betrays you," Fury stated softly, "Who are you trying to convince?"

"Desperate? I? Are you not the one who is desperate, mortal? I'm not the one keeping someone in a cage, standing with their proverbial boot raised above a busy little ant preparing to stomp on it the moment it makes a single move." Loki was calm again. Fury snorted.

"You bring war to my world, and you think that makes me desperate? No. It only pisses me off. What are you even trying to do Loki?"

"Oh, I simply want to be a warm light for all mankind to share…and exalt in. You had the power, unlimited power and…lost it in the face of real power." Loki drew a sardonic hand across his chest. The black man withheld the eye roll.

"Well…Let me know if 'real power' wants a magazine or something."

.-.

"Loki's crazy," the British man stated when Nick caught up with him.

"He steals a power he can't control, speaks of peace, and kills for fun… Of course he's crazy," Nick replied, "However there's a purpose behind all of this."

"We just have to figure out what." Harry replied, his head turned and a glare intensified on his face at Nick, "If you dare to put Bruce in such a thing, Fury, I will be greatly displeased."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Nick replied sarcastically. Harry snorted in disbelief.

"I can keep Bruce calm, and hopefully give him the control he needs," Harry stated sharply. "You need to let me work my magic," a smirk appeared on his lips, "Pun intended."

"As long as it doesn't become a direct threat to the world, my country or my people's welfare, I will not stand in your way." Nick stated. "Who am I to stop a little magic from helping someone? I could use a little magic to get the plans out of Loki, my agents back, and all the paperwork and meetings this will stir up over and done with."

"Not even magic takes care of paperwork or meetings." Harry snorted, "That's how our bosses pass on the suffering. It's some twistedly stupid cycle. They had to put up with it in and now we do. Bureaucracy at its awful best."

Nick cracked a smile.

A/N:

So I haven't updated in over a god awful year. You all must hate me. I'm so sorry. The laptop did not get fixed and let's just say I lost all those damn chapters. This killed my muse and I had to recruit heavily. I'm currently rewatching the movie to resume the plotline and then I'll be starting the rest of the story. This shouldn't take too long and I'll be updating again!

PS- if you asked a question and I haven't gotten to you, feel free to send it again and I'll try to answer it! PM me if you need something!