A/N: So this was a silly little plot bunny that Kek-t and I were joking around about a while back, noting how the first time Soundwave 'talked' was with Arcee's voice recording, and I ended up writing this just for shits and giggles. Only now, a month later, I find it in my sent mail on my email account and reread it. Long story short, I decided to put it up here and see what you guys thought.

Megatron watched his Third in Command closely, optics practically burning holes into the mech. There was currently something bothering him, something that had come up many times already and yet he never pursued the notion. It was a simple question. One he could easily have answered if he ordered his TiC into compliance. The thought had crossed his mind a total of thirty eight times today, more than the highest thoughts-per-day record of him musing about offlining that traitorous worm, Starscream.

That was something hard to accomplish.

The warlord shifted slightly as the blue mech crossed the room, checking up on each terminal to be sure all the ship's functions were running properly and that the drones were all doing their jobs. Megatron was sure the silent one knew he was being watched. Absolutely positive. But the officer didn't even glance in his direction once.

So he would make him.

"Soundwave," he called smoothly, frame held in it's usual dominate posture while still seeming relaxed. That visor turned, pedes halting in their tracks instantly as the addressed waited for a command.

And a command he would get.

"Speak," Megatron ordered, not removing his gaze. He saw the mech tense, back straightening in surprise and helm jerking in disbelief. Why had that single word startled the TiC so? There was silence, every Eradicon having stopped their work to observe the scene play out before them.

Megatron waited, ped threatening to tap in impatience, but he reigned in his fritzing nerves and kept his gaze glued to the Communications Officer. He was still silent, as if trying to understand the purpose of the order. Or maybe he was trying to think of something to say. A simple, 'Yes, my Lord,' would suffice.

Soundwave shifted on his pedes, a sign of nervousness. Was he embarrassed? Why? Was he actually mute? No. He knew Soundwave wasn't mute. He didn't know how he knew, but he knew.

The sound of vocals clearing caused the Decepticon leader to tense in anticipation. Soundwave's chest rose as if taking a breath to utter something and-

"I apologize for not telling you sooner, Lord Megatron."

-everything fell even more deathly quiet. Soundwave... his voice... did it have a glitch? Because... he.. HE WAS A SHE!?

The bridge erupted into chaos, Eradicons jabbering urgently between each other as they rushed out of the room to tell the rest of the ship. They pushed and shoved their way out the door, many falling, tripping, dragging themselves along, and getting trampled before quickly popping up to dash through the gaps in the crowd.

Soon, it was just Megatron and Soundwave again, alone in an undecided silence.

"Soundwave," the tyrant began, trying his hardest to keep his cool. It wasn't working. "You are... you're a femme?" And all this time he thought his TiC was a mech... his Third in Command was a femme though. "Please tell me you're joking."

Soundwave shuffled on his-her pedes uncomfortably, visor directed anywhere but at the confused and shocked form of Megatron.

"I am not, sir. Please forgive me, my Lord."

And with that, everything went black and gravity turned ten times stronger as the ex-gladiator glitched, falling to the floor with a harsh clang that rattled the Bridge, causing Soundwave to sigh in defeat.

Why was it so hard to believe?

A/N: Don't rage! I have read the books! I know he isn't really a femme! But still, I think it would be hilarious to no end if everyone found out the silent but deadly Communications Officer of ninjaness wasn't a mech. And then we'd all realize that this entire time we were fantasizing about a she and not a he. I can imagine many of us would be extremely disappointed, but also maybe not. Eh. Reviews would be appreciated! Over and Out!

~(C)Prime~