Birds of a Feather

Epilogue

Four months later

Catherine lay propped up against her pillows staring out at the glowing sunset on Asgard's horizon, a dead look behind her eyes and her swollen belly rising and falling slowly. The discovery of her pregnancy had been the final nail in the coffin of losing Loki and had brought up all the stages of her grief refreshed as though she were still on the bridge watching him fall into the abyss.

Thor, Odin and Frigga had been swept up in their grief for the son who was dead. Thor's friends had done what they could to comfort him but Catherine had just avoided the family for over a week, locked up in her apartment, consumed by the pain of losing Loki and the last feel of his fingers on hers. Sleep had come to her only in broken periods that week and her appetite had dropped. The promises of their future together had vanished and replaced with cold awakening griefs which continuously disturbed her in nightmares of that eventful evening.

In the end Frigga had come to rouse Catherine for the memorial service. She had stood numbly throughout the whole service unable to take any of it in. After that she had returned to her room , determined to live out the rest of her days alone. However Frigga started visiting regularly, trying to get Catherine to eat regularly and sometimes staying to make sure she went to sleep. It seemed that with Loki gone, Frigga was determined to look after the woman he'd loved.

A month had passed before Catherine had begun to feel ill. She had felt continuous chills and rising temperatures (the chills clearly being part of the child's Frost Giant heritage) and before long the sickness had begun. Her blood pressure had shot up and one afternoon Frigga had found Catherine unconscious on her living room floor in a faint. That had been the catalyst to the discovery. Tests had been run on her and the medics had identified her pregnancy quickly.

Catherine had no choice about telling Odin and Thor since Frigga was with her when she received the results. The response had been less than warm. Odin was troubled by the idea of a child of Loki being born and Thor was concerned about Catherine's capabilities of bringing such a child into the world when she was so wrapped up in her grief. Frigga had insisted the pregnancy was a good thing but it hadn't been until Catherine got some time to herself where she'd made her decision.

The way she saw it, was that she had a part of Loki that she could always love and treasure close to her heart. She couldn't abide the thought of getting rid of it and she knew that she wanted to raise this child so that it would not feel the conflicts within itself that Loki had. If she was to subject herself to a life without Loki then at least she had his child. The pain was so much fresher for knowing this but at the same time she knew the child would be a comforting balm for her grief.

By the time she was 12 weeks pregnant, Odin and Thor had not come round to the idea. They worried that Catherine would teach the child how they had mistreated Loki through deceit and favouritism. But there was little they could do to change things. They could not force her to abort the child though they did try and persuade her that she was not ready. They did so continually and asked that she not put the child through a life without its father. It seemed to Catherine that they did use most of the tricks in the book to convince her to terminate the pregnancy; begging, convincing, emotional blackmail and even bribery when Odin even suggested arranging a match with her and Thor so she could be Asgard's next Queen. Both Thor and Catherine had been horrified by this and Catherine had refused to see the King again since that incident. Now she only received visits from Frigga and occasionally Thor. It was only in the last fortnight that she and Thor had had a proper conversation.

She sat in the lounge, watching over Asgard when he entered the apartment. She had looked up as he bowed graciously to her. She sighed and looked back out the window quietly.

"Is this another attempt to convince me to kill my baby?" she asked bitterly. "Because I would save your breath. There is nothing that would convince me to execute Loki's child."

Thor took a seat opposite her. "Why would you insist on doing this alone?"

"Loki is not here anymore and I dearly miss him. I cannot help that but I can choose not to be alone by having his child. So you see, I will not be alone anymore." Catherine told him.

"You are not alone, you have myself, my parents-" Thor began but Catherine shook her head.

"The child is a part of Loki," Catherine told him. "I have lost the man I love, why should I give up my child too? I carry a part of him inside me and you would have me kill it? Why? Truly, Thor, tell me why?" she asked, her eyes boring into his.

Thor was staring out the window as Catherine spoke and he turned to her. "Because, I am afraid… we are afraid you will teach the child about how we ill-treated its father and… we don't want another bitter Loki, growing up to cause trouble."

"You've never cited that as a reason before," Catherine spoke softly. "Why did you not tell me that was what you all feared?" she asked.

"We thought that telling you would encourage you to do it. We thought you were still angry at us." Thor explained gently.

"My heart is consumed by grief for Loki and love for this child," said Catherine. "I have not the room for anger or hatred towards you .If anything your relentless pursuit of death for this child have made me dislike you even more intensely than before."

Thor was silent for a few moments. "You really did not like me back then either did you?"

"Of course not, you were arrogant and reckless. Loki was always in your shadow. So my answer is no, I did not. You have not endeared yourself to me with this behaviour either."

"We want peace for Asgard, your child threatens that," Thor pointed out.

"I will not raise my child in hate and anger," said Catherine. "I will raise the child to be loved by not only his family but his peers, to have confidence of their own abilities and to believe in their own future. Everything Loki did not have the ability to be."

"Loki was loved by our family," said Thor.

"But by no other friends other than me. I do not wish my child to have a lonely life. If I was to raise him in such hatred of your family, he would be an outcast and alone. I have nothing to gain from this venture you seem to accuse me of." Catherine said, resting her hands on her stomach.

Thor watched her intensely. "You really don't mean for the child to hate my parents or me?"

"I might not be fond of you but I want my child to have a family," said Catherine. "Is that too much to ask?" she asked him.

Thor smiled a little. "It is not," he admitted. "I… I apologise that we have misjudged you… the same as we misjudged Loki. I will talk to my father and get him to drop the vendetta against the child. We will leave you in peace."

"Thank you" Catherine said coolly.

It was true that Thor had stopped pressing for an abortion but Odin was still unhappy about the pregnancy and was worried that more bad could come from it than good. Catherine had begun to grow more frustrated with his attitude. Still she could count on Thor and Frigga's visits to keep her in positive spirits about the baby. Well, as positive as she could get. The shadow of her grief hung over her like a cloak and was too heavy to lift yet. She continued to dream about Loki and that night. She would find herself caressing her growing baby bump to comfort herself that here was a part of him.

She looked out of the window. Only five more months and she would never be alone again.

Author's Note: So yeah this story is over but I will be starting the sequel soon. Thanks for reading!