Hyrule Press Conference

Disclaimer: I don't, nor will I ever, own Zelda.

Authors Notes: See what happens when the site goes down?! I end up writing crap like this!

*****If ANYONE points out any plotholes (insert venomous stare)..... just remember, they are here intentionally.



Hyrule Press Conference

Subject: Fashion issues- clothing



**Enter into a room with a long table. The Sages are sitting there, as are Link, Sheik, and Zelda. Navi, Tatl and Tael are sitting on the table itself. The three Golden Goddesses are presiding (a.k.a.: trying to keep some kind of order). Tons of press are in folding chairs in front of the table. Enter the insanity :) **



DIN: We will now begin answering questions on today's topic: fashion. That means clothes, accessories, etc. **watches as dozens of reporters start talking at once.** We WILL do this in an orderly fashion (no pun). Over there. **points**



REPORTER FROM HYRULE PEOPLE MAGAZINE: Yes, thank you. I was just wondering why Link chose to wear a dress and earrings.

LINK: What's this chose crap?! They were on me when I woke up. And it's not a dress!!!

R.F.H.P.M.: Sure they were.

LINK: You wanna make something of it!?

R.F.H.P.M.: At least Saria's a girl.

LINK: (stands up) YOU. ME. OUTSIDE. NOW!!!

FARORE: (grabs Link and shoves him back into his chair, then nods to Din.)

DIN: Thanks.

FARORE: No prob.

DIN: Moving on. Let's see. you over there. (points again)

REPORTER FROM HYRULE NEWS 10547: Yes. I was just wondering why the Gorons and Zoras don't wear anything?

RUTO: Who says I'm not? It is just the same color as my skin. And because of how thin it is, I can move freely in the water.

DRAUNIA: I'm just gonna pass on this one.

LINK: Cucco.

DRAUNIA: (stands and turns to Link) COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT!

LINK: (also stands) ALL RIGHT I WILL!

FARORE AND NAYRU: (look at each other and sigh, then go behind the to warring ones and shove them back into their seats.)

FARORE: Behave both of you.

DIN: Maybe this was a bad idea.

AUTHOR: (don't ask) Of course it isn't. :)

DIN: **groan** Next. how about you (points to someone dancing funny)

RANDOM PERSON: Where's the bathroom?

DIN: -_- Over there. how about a real question. you there. (points)

REPORTER FROM HYRULE STAR: Sheik, is it true that you can't take those bandages off?

SHEIK: ???

R.F.H.S.: That is what my source says. You had them super-glued.

SHEIK: Ummm. not that I remember.

LINK: Where are these questions coming from anyway?

SHEIK: Don't ask me.

DIN: Next. (points to random person)

UNKNOWN REPORTER: How does it feel to have won the Indigo League and the Orange Island League?

ENTIRE DAIS: ????????

U.R.: This is the Pokemon conference, isn't it?

DIN: -_-() no.. that's down the hall.

U.R.: oops. heh heh. **sweatdrops, then runs out of the room**

DIN: I thought everyone knew where they were. oh well. Next. (points to another person)

REPORTER FROM HYRULE TRIBUNAL WEEKLY: Is it true that no one here can dress themselves?

ZELDA: Where did that one come from?

R.F.H.T.W.: Well, you for example are royalty.

ZELDA: SO YOU ARE SAYING THAT I AM HELPLESS!?

R.F.H.T.W.: W-w-well. not exactly.

ZELDA: I SEE HOW IT IS.

R.F.H.T.W.: **sits down quickly** eep.

DIN: Two more questions then we are done for today.

FARORE: **under breath** About time.

DIN: I heard that.

FARORE: Darn.

DIN: **smirking** OK. Let's see. how about you. **points**

REPORTER FROM TERMINA GAZZETTE: This is for the fairies. Do you wear anything?

NAVI: Of course! For example, right now I have on a beautiful red dress.

TATL: Mine's better, it is a gorgeous light blue.

TAEL: Oh brother.

TATL: Just because all you have is jeans and a T-shirt on don't take it out on us.

TAEL: **sinks behind the table**

NAVI & TATL: **snicker**

DIN: Poor fairy probably needs counseling. One more. you. **points to the very back of the room**

REPORTER FROM HYRULE PEOPLE PLUS: This is for Rauru. why is the front of your dress.

RAURU: IT'S NOT A DRESS!

R.F.H.P.P.: Yeah. anyway, why is the front all red like that?

IMPA: Hey, you're right. Why is that?

RAURU: **sweatdrop** well. super-cherry-strawberry-jelly-jam-ice-cream doesn't come out.

DIN, FARORE & NAYRU: eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww...... DIN: That's it, meeting over. **Leaves, and Farore and Nayru follow. After they are gone, the table books it to the exit, leaving only the reporters.**

RANDOM REPORTER 1: Now what?

RANDOM REPORTER 2: We can do this again if we make it seem like it was worth it.

RANDOM REPORTER 1: So we will have a way to kill time?

RANDOM REPORTER 2: Yup.

RANDOM REPORTER 1: Then let's get this stuff to the presses!!

Conference over.

Should I bother with another chapter? If so, what should be the topic? KEEP IT CLEAN. GOT IT? Also, flames will go straight to Volvagia. (He's my pet now. ^_^)