*Disclaimer: I dont own Hetalia, if i did...emus. Lots and lots of emus.*

They say a smile is the biggest lie. It's true. It really is.

When you put on that fake smile all day, every day, for as long as you have lived, people actually believe it.

Your parents…

Your siblings…

Your "friends"

And eventually, you start to believe it yourself.

Then again, when you are only noticed when someone needs something, (that they can only get from you) I guess you can't really expect anyone to see through the lies. Especially when nobody seems to see you at all. It's like your screaming underwater. No one hears and you're just alone.

Maybe I just don't scream loud enough, ya know? Or maybe there's just nobody who truly cares.

My friend doesn't really acknowledge me unless he is showing up on my doorstep at 4:30 in the morning as drunk as he can be so I can be "graced by his awesome presence" and make pancakes for him. The whole time he will either pick a fight with my polar bear( Kuma-whats-his-face), occupy my couch (that has been dubbed New Prussia), or sit by my table to rant to me about the recent happenings in "awesome land".

When he first showed up, I honestly thought he was going to kill/rape/rob me. That is, until he saw me eating pancakes. (Hey, I wasn't able to sleep after a certain nightmare [like normal] so I decided to make myself pancakes at 3:30 in the morning. Don't judge me!). And so my already nonexistent life went downhill from there. If I was someone like my brother, whose friends can actually remember him, they might say something along the lines of "Why do you let that jerk mooch off you like that?!"

Well, 1. It's not like he wakes me up or anything, that has only happened maybe 5 times this past year.

2. He won't leave until he gets his pancakes

3. There might be a slight chance that I maybe enjoy his company... don't get me wrong, I love Kumachumaga, but it's nice to hear someone say something other then "who are you?" and "Food".

4. ... Okay i lied... I Matthew Williams, am in love with Gilbert Beilschmidt. Kill me now... like anyone could love me.

Maybe it's the pancakes… if I gave pancakes to the other nations, maybe they would remember me? Ill have to try it…

Anyways, the first time he barged into my house, he was drunk, extremely pissed off, and hungry. I don't know how he even got my address! From his drunken rant, he told me about how his little brother kicked him out of the house because his boy toy was coming over. Why he didn't just go Francis or Antonio's house if beyond me. But I must be doing something right if he keeps coming over, right? I'm still thinking it's those damn pancakes…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hetalia! :D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I could tell I was going to be in for a rough day. It wasn't even 2am when I woke up screaming and crying with all the other miserable pathetic-ness that comes along with this nightmare. This time it was of him, and only him. Of course, the scenes replayed in my head until I could feel the bile rising in my throat. At least the bathroom isn't too far away from my bed. Once I finished puking my guts to the porcelain goddess, my throat was painful as ever accompanied by a lovely headache that was itching to become a migraine. Just another day in the life pathetic little Matthew Williams. 4 hours of sleep these past 3 nights? I'm going for the record here….Only thing left to do: pull on a hoodie, go curl up on the couch into a ball of misery and pray to the hockey gods that Gilbert wouldn't choose tonight to make an appearance.

Just my luck, on the way down, i trip on the stairs. Landing in a miserable heap at the bottom, I opt to just crawl to the couch and attempt to fall asleep again.

Ha yeah, bad choice on my part. Once again I find myself back in his house, hiding in a corner as someone Kolkolkolkols about the house. It's just like a sick game of hide and seek, only here, your playing for your life. Hearing a door bang open, I try to become invisible as heavy footsteps make their way towards me. A hand clamps down on my shoulder and as any normal person would do, I scream.

This, my dear friends, is how I found my self on the ground at a certain Prussians feet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~POV change -3rd Person :D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kesesesesese! You alright there Birdie? I sure hope so cause the awesome me needs some awesome pancakes of awesomeness! "

Said Canadian groaned and rolled into a sitting position before shoving his glasses on, pulling up his hood and stumbling off towards the kitchen, mumbling something in French.

"Not even a hello for the king of awesomeness and his royal steed?! I should have you sent to the dungeon!" Gilbert called as he flopped into a barstool to watch that fine piece of Canadian ass….I mean, to supervise the making of his pancakes. Gilbird also happened to choose this time to wake up, chirp his approval and fly over to Matthew.

"Bite me." Matthew mumbled as he whisked the batter together, shooing away Gilbird at the same time. Poor little Gilbird, with no warm Canadian hair to make a nest in, had no choice but to fly back to Gilbert.

Gilbert frowned. Was it just the alcohol he may or may not have had, or was Matthew being a little…off today.

"Hey Mattie, you alright?". The spatula wielding boy just shrugged and kept cooking. Maybe he would get lucky and Gilbert would leave after eating. He was feeling just downright miserable, hardly awake, and was a bit sick to his stomach.

Gilbert sighed at how un-awesome he was being and walked over to give him a pep talk or something like that. Making his way over to the stove, he got there just in time to see Matthew set his hand down on the hot skillet. A yelp escaped the boy, but didn't do anything but stand there and stare at his hand. Gilbert grabbed his hand and shoved it under the cold water before running off to the bathroom. First aid kit in hand, he raced back to the kitchen to the boy he was in love with.

"Hey Birdie, leave your hand there for a few more minutes then ill patch it up, alright? …Birdie? Mattie? Matt! MATTHEW!". Grabbing the blonde by the shoulders, he turned him so he could look him in the eye. Hood finally off, what he saw shocked him. Matthew Williams looked like the walking dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~POV change- Gilbert's turn again XD ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My poor Birdie! He looked so un-awesome as he stood there shivering with those dark raccoon eyes. Sighing, I reached out to cup his cheek so he wouldn't look away, only to find he had a raging fever. As soon as I had touched him, he tried to jerk away…I wonder what else he was trying to hide from me. Instead of interrogating him, I lead him to a chair to bandage his hand. To my surprise, he doesn't resist.

"Matthew, you're burning up, let's get you to bed after I finish this, okay?"

"No i'm fine…and you need your pancakes…"

Rolling my eyes I walked over to the sink and dumped out the remaining pancake batter.

"There! Problem solved! Now let's get you into bed"

"What was that for?! I told you i'm fine."

Pffft! He so wasn't alright! He stood up and attempted to start walking back to the stove. Why does the have to be so stubborn some times! Before he could burn himself or something stupid and un-awesome, I went over and turned off the stove. He mumbled something again before (of course) he started to fall to the floor. I so called that. Of course me being awesome and all, I caught him before he could hit the floor and picked him up bridal style.

" I'm sorry Gil, just let me down. I'm only a little tired… I can walk fine by myself"

"And I'm batman…Actually no I wouldn't be batman, I'm too awesome to be like him! And just a little tired? Nah I don't believe you. TO THE MATT-CAVE!"

My little Birdie just groaned and buried his face into my shirt. He's so adorable sometimes… maybe I could get Kiku to come install some cameras in here…

Finally we (as in I) made it to his room. Looking down, he had fallen asleep in my arms and how could I miss out on a photo opportunity like this?! Whipping out my phone, I snapped a picture before laying him down in bed, running into the bathroom to grab a glass of water, his thermometer and some medicine. Bringing my finds back to his bed, I put everything down on the bedside table before sitting him up and sliding in to sit behind him. This way he would still be sitting up AND would have to be leaning on me. Of course with all the movement he partially woke up. I handed him the thermometer to put under his tongue…of course he has a fever of 102F… so not awesome.

"Mattie, take the medicine, then you can go back to sleep" I brought the little cup with the liquid shit in it up to his lips. He turned his head away and into my shoulder. The stubborn little… ugh.

"Matthew, take it. It will help you feel better!". After a few more minutes of coaxing, he finally broke down and took it (while making the most adorable face) before downing half the glass of water. Wiggling my way out from under, I helped him lay back down, removed his glasses, pulled up his maple leaf quilt and kissed the top of his burning forehead (cause I'm just that awesome). Turning to leave, I started to walk away, but a hand shot out and stopped me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~POV change again! Cause I'm just that bored :P 3rd person!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turning around, Gilbert raised an eyebrow at the sleepy Canadian.

"Need something?"

"It's too cold" he mumbled, burrowing farther into the quilts.

"Want the awesome me to go grab you another blanket? Gilbird could keep you company?"

"No…your warmer" Matthew blurted out while successfully blushing 6 shades of crimson. Gilbert chuckled

"I knew you couldn't resist the awesome me! Scoot over"

Toeing off his shoes, he climbed into Matthew's queen sized bed and pulled the boy into his arms.

'Finally' he thought. Matthew sighed and relaxed into the embrace. Bringing up a hand, Gilbert started to run his fingers through the blonde's hair.

"Hey Gil?" he murmed, half asleep.

"Ja?"

"…I'm sorry".

"For what? You did nothing wrong."

"You went through so much trouble to help me..." a few sniffles escaped the boy and he had Gilberts shirt in a death grip, hiding his face in the fabric.

"I'm just so useless! I'm so sorry!" he sobbed. Sighing again, Gilbert raised Matthews tear stained face up to look at his own.

"You are not useless. You make the most amazing pancakes, you have put up with my longer then anyone else has been able too, you're a kickass hockey player, you actually listen to my ranting, and Gilbird likes you! So you must be awesomer then I thought!". Hiding his face once more in Gilbert's shirt, he started sobbing even harder.

"you know what, I've had my eye on you since I first saw you and well… ich liebe dich Birdie." A small gasp escaped from the boy as his sobs quieted. A few minutes later came the mumbled reply that made Gilberts heart soar.

"J-je t'aime Gil".

"Hey Mattie, will you be my totally awesome boyfriend?". Letting out a huge yawn, Matthew nodded

"Awesome, now go to sleep will ya? Looks like you haven't slept for a week! And that is sooooo un-awesome!"

"Close enough" he murmed before burrowing back into his new found boyfriends shoulder and quickly falling back to sleep with a smile on his face.

Gilbert smiled before taking another picture, this time of him and his love, before kissing the top of his sick boyfriends head.

Hmmm...Well before his little Birdie burned his hand, he had managed to make 2 or 3 pancakes...which were still down in the kitchen. This led Gilbert to start thinking about how he would get to eat them after Matthew woke up and how if it weren't for those pancakes, he never would have gotten the boy to be his.

Yup. It really is all in the pancakes.

A/N XD lol welllllll yeah first attempt at a fanfic. AND ITS 3:30 IN THE MORNIN! AHHHHHHHHH! So glad im not working tomorrow! :D

My writing skills SUCK so I figured id try my hand at some fanfictions in hope to get some more practice at writing and some constructive criticism…. I know it sucks. Like I said, I've never been a good writer so bare with me with all the mistakes and other awfulness in this XD

*especially since its almost 4 in the morning as of now...its probably a LOT worse XD but never fear! i shall go back and edit it soon!*

On a side note: I LOVE PRUCAN! They are my OTP and yeah :D I might add another chapter onto this or something… let me know what you think and if you got any suggestions :D

I will reply to any and all reviews assuming I can find out how :P