This fic is a challenge from The Infamous Man, author of Fate:Zero Sense and Fate:Stay Away. The challenge is to replace the Servants in the game Fate/EXTRA with those scattered throughout various omakes in Fate:Zero Sense. As such, this fic may reference the other two at times. I highly recommend them. Though just because this is a challenge doesn't mean I won't put my own twist on it. And now for the disclaimer.

I do not own the Fate series, the spin-offs, or any other fictitious character in this story unless I state otherwise. Now without further adieu, enjoy your fanfic of questionable quality.

The automatic door opened allowing his access to the room. His form however, was obscured by the darkness. He then went to the super computer, produced a disc from his sleeve, and inserted it into the disk tray. The screen told him to input a password, so he merely typed the word swordfish and the download started.

"Honestly, you'd think these guys would come up with something more original." The form said to himself. Seeing that the download was done, he removed the disk, closed the tray, and began the ten minute walk from the super computer room to the Virtual Reality pods. Once there, he bypassed the pods of the contestants and went to a separate room. The room was much smaller and only held three pods, one of which was already opened. He went to the opened pod, got in it, and it shut.

"Well I guess I'll finally find out" The form began "If servants that actually walked on this world are more powerful than those from fiction."

And with that the form drifted off to sleep. Good thing too, it was the last day of qualification and he had a lot of things to do to get the SE. RA. PH. ready for the chosen masters.

This is gonna' be fun. He thought as he entered the virtual world. And now our story begins.

Prologue: I Certainly Hope That Everyone Realizes That These Long Chapter Titles Are A Shout-Out To Baccano

Pinochle was walking on his was to school, and before you think it, yes he was aware of his weird name. Back in elementary school he was endlessly teased for it. He was convinced that his parents named him that while drunk.

Pinochle's full name was Pinochle Obake. Though since he lived in Japan like any good anime protagonist, this meant that he had to endlessly explain that his name was pronounced as pea-knuckle and not in any other way. Apparently the Japanese aren't big fans of the game. He secretly bet that if his name was Pachinko they'd never get the pronunciation wrong.

Other than that Pinochle's head was killing him. He had this random ass headache that started as soon as he set out for school. Actually, come to think of it he didn't remember anything that happened before he was walking to school. It was as if his entire life started at that one point, and all his memories were fake.

The headache increased in intensity until he felt he was going to faint. He neared the school gate and realized that everyone was doing it again. For the past few days many of the students here appeared to be repeating their actions each day. At first Pinochle passed it off as a fad, the next day he thought a cult had infiltrated the school, but now he had no idea what to make of it. Come to think of it, his headaches started around the same time as this. Could they be connected?

"Good morning! Lovely weather we're having, don't you think?"

Pinochle looked up and saw the boy Issei Ryuudou addressing him.

"Oh, yeah. Great weather these past few days." Pinochle replied.

"Hmm? Why do you look so surprised?"

"Well it's just that I get the feeling that –"

"We announced at last week's assembly that this month the student council would strictly enforce school rules." Issei reminded him, thereby cutting him off mid-sentence. This was the fourth time Pinochle had heard this. It was getting old fast.

His headache got stronger. So strong in fact that he was seriously convinced that he was about to die. But not before he acted like a smart ass.

"First, let me check your student ID. I shouldn't need to remind you, but it should be on you at all times." Pinochle said in time with Issei. He expected to get a dirty look from his friend, but no. He got nothing. All Issei did was hold out his hand for Pinochle's ID. This was seriously starting to freak him out. He handed his ID to Issei, (who he was convinced may be one of his new robot overlords), who then promptly returned it.

"Great. There's no telling when an emergency might occur, and it will be a help if you have your ID." Issei told him, but at this point Pinochle's brain was in "Holy shit everyone has been replaced by robots with a crappy AI" mode.

He then started feeling nauseous along with his ever growing headache. He didn't know why but he had a strange feeling it was because of everything around him. The fact that everything just kept repeating over and over was driving him insane. Now he knew how Yuki felt during the Endless Eight.

"Now for the uniform inspection. …Collar, check! Pant hems, check! And your socks … check!" Issei spouted. But Pinochle had run to the school already, leaving his "Friend" in the dust.

"Next is the contents of your bag… Notebooks, textbooks, pencil box! Not even a whiff of contraband. Your nails are evenly cut, and your haircut is sensible. Indeed, quite remarkable. You're a model Tsukumihara Academy student."

Inside the Building

Pinochle was getting further into conspiracy theorist mode. His mind was only occupied with finding a way out of this. That's when he began to see distortions in the world around him. As one can imagine, this really didn't help reassure him to say the least.

He decided to leave the classroom to try and find a spot that the distortion hadn't reached. Pinochle checked out everywhere on the second floor before running back to the staircase. He was going to go up to check out the higher floors, but then he felt as if someone was willing him to go downstairs. He thought for a moment if he should ignore this or not, but the distortions got larger and he instinctively ran to the first floor.

Once there Pinochle noticed Leo, the exchange student, calmly walk down a hallway while being chased by someone. Without thinking he chased after them, all the while asking himself questions.

Don't turn away now.

What is the "truth"?

Don't turn away now.

What defines the world you know?

Don't turn away now.

There is a reason why you're here.

Come.

Do not allow yourself to close your eyes to the truth.

At some point Pinochle thought that he wasn't thinking those thoughts anymore, but was being told them! He would wonder what this meant later though, as he arrived at the end of the hall.

"The attention to detail is quite impressive. Even the surrounding air is surprisingly substantial." Leo spoke, as if to himself. To which Pinochle thought Attention to detail, please. The AI on these things is awful!

"If that is the case, this world is in some ways more real than the real world it represents." Leo continued. I knew this world was fake! Finally, someone who gets it too.

"How about you guys? What are your thoughts on this?"

"Well I'm glad that someone is finally making sense! I mean-" This was when Pinochle stopped and registered that Leo was talking to him too. But just as he stopped, Leo began talking to the other boy.

"Greetings. I believe this is the first time we've had an actual conversation." Leo then turned to Pinochle and granted him a smile befitting of a prince. All Pinochle could wonder though was what that smile was hiding.

"Attending school wasn't half-bad. I've never had the opportunity to go to one before now. In that respect, this has been quite an interesting experience. … However, the time for fun has come to an end. I did not come here to play at being a student. No matter how enjoyable the detour, eventually one must return to their appointed path. And for me, the time to do so has arrived…" And with that Leo turned around.

"Farewell. No, that's not quite right. I don't think farewell would be accurate in this situation. For reasons I cannot explain, I have the distinct feeling that we will see each other again. So I guess I should use the more congenial, see you later. Well, it's time for me to move on. I wish you the best of luck."

Those are the last words he says before he walks through the wall. After that, the other boy walked through the wall as well. Pinochle, not wanting to be left with these robots, also went up to the wall with full intent of making the laws of physics his bitch by walking through it. A doorway then appeared in the wall, not being the strangest thing he saw today, Pinochle entered it. He was ready for whatever lied beyond it.

Elsewhere

Pinochle entered what appeared to be a storage room. It looked familiar to him except for the Tronish lines, the golem with Tronish lines, and the girl who was sitting next to said golem. The girl was slightly shorter than he was. She was wearing the girl's uniform, so she didn't look exactly different. Her hair was long and brown, and her eyes were light brown. Pinochle didn't bother to take the scenery in because the golem started moving.

"I guess it's supposed to be yours." The girl told him. "My name's Rummy. Rummy Yuurei."

"I'm Bond. James Bond." Pinochle joked. But after Rummy sighed he filled her in on his actual identity.

"Well Pinochle, would you mind if I sticked with you? Ya know, so I don't die? I'd be eternally grateful."

Eternally grateful? Pinochle liked the sound of that. Until he felt himself get mentally slapped. He decided to ignore it however.

"Alright, you can come with. After all, I don't want to leave you here to die now do I?"

And with that the boy, girl and golem set off through the door on the other side of the room.

Elsewhere

The next thing they knew, they came to a walkway made of lights. Nothing but darkness surrounded them, but the path gave off enough light to let them see.

"I just realized something." Rummy said.

"Yeah?" Pinochle replied.

"You don't think that when the door appeared in the school... that we went through the fourth wall do you?!"

"Maybe, but we need to head to the end of this hallway to find out."

"Ok." Rummy responded with vigor. They were off. Though as they walked, Pinochle tried to figure out what Rummy meant by forth wall.

The farther they walked the more shape was given to where they were. Grids appeared, water surrounded them, and blocks came out of nowhere and shot in linear directions. Then that all disappeared, and that looked like blue laser panels made up the floor and walls. Still they continued forward, until they got to a point where they appeared in another room.

Elsewhere

There they were in a chamber made up of the laser panels. They didn't have the chance to take it in though.

Welcome potential masters.

Before a voice from above began to address them.

If you are looking for answers, you must reach the goal. Now, please step forward.

They did as commanded and made their way through the room. The voice of god, (as Rummy called it), kept informing them of how this world worked. It told them of item folders, enemy programs (to which Pinochle had a field day with his Tron references), and how to use the golem to fight (both of them compared this to JoJo's Bizarre Adventure). Through this, Pinochle and Rummy learned much more about each other. They both liked to read manga, but Pinochle was definitely saner than Rummy was. Both of them believed that their parents were obviously intoxicated when naming them. And last, but not least, they both had no clue what was going on. At some point Rummy noticed that dinosaur bones were floating in what appeared to be the water around them. This solidified in their minds that they were, in fact, not in Kansas anymore. It also showed how hyper and observant the girl was. Eventually they cleared all the enemy programs and made their way to the final room of this madness.

Elsewhere

They stood on a stained glass floor, surrounded by three stained glass windows. Pinochle stopped for a moment to catch his breath. However he would have no such luxury.

"Nucks" Rummy began. "There is a stiff over there!" Indeed she was right. The body of a boy lay dead on the floor with a deactivated golem beside him.

"Shit! The cops are gonna' find us! Then they're gonna' throw me in the slammer! I'm too young to drop the soap!" Rummy continued on her tangent. It took several minutes for Pinochle to explain to her that dropping the soap was only a threat if you were in a men's prison.

"I'm too young to be prison raped!" Yet again he started to reassure her, until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked back and saw the golem.

"What's up Hub?" Pinochle asked the golem, whom he named as a reference to Megaman. The golem however just punched him in the face.

"That's that dead guy's golem!" Rummy screamed. "He's gonna' revenge kill us!" But Pinochle didn't hear her. He had noticed that the boy was the one that was following Leo!

"Hub, help!" Pinochle screamed to his golem, who then took on the golem. Unfortunately it was as if the enemy golem knew all of their moves beforehand. It didn't take long before it broke Hub, and after that it waltzed right over to the two and killed them.

… Hmph, you seem to be lacking as well.

The voice barely registered in Pinochle's mind.

The time has come. Seeing as you died, I will now close the preliminaries. Goodbye. I hope that you realized how much you let me down. Jackasses.

The voice stopped speaking to them. Both were unable to do anything. It was then that they noticed that they were not alone. Both of them were but new additions in a field of corpses upon the floor. Soon, they would join them.

Do you give?

No, they didn't give. As if their minds were one, they both attempted to rise. But failed as unbearable pain shot through their bodies.

Do you give?

No! Once again they tried, in spite of the unbearable pain, to rise once more. But before they got the chance to

"Indeed! You must embrace your fear of death and fight on regardless what fate may await you." A voice began to speak from above. This one was different though. It was female.

"Well spoken, nameless travelers! Even if the world will never hear of your desires, know that I admire and respect them! Close your hands and fists and raise your heads! Your time is yet to come! In fact, your destiny begins now!"

Two of the stained glass windows shatter, leaving only the one in the middle. A form begins to materialize in the middle of the room. A woman with a red dress that clearly showed her panties, golden boots, blonde hair, green eyes, and a red ribbon in her hair appeared and walked to Pinochle. He felt for some reason though, that she wasn't human. He could feel her power, ant it was well over nine thousand!

"Now then, I shall ask you once more. Answer me. Which one of you is my Master?"

"Both of us!" Rummy excitedly announced. She had gotten up already, and as such, got to decide this for them.

"Both of you hmm? Well this will be interesting. I like that. I won't ask how privileged you feel for summoning me. All right then, you have my blessing! I shall bestow upon the both of you the honor of being my Masters!"

The newcomer helped Pinochle to his feet. At that moment, he felt a pain from the back on the hand she held. He looked over and saw a symbol there. Before getting a chance to take it in, the golem that killed Hub started to approach them. The newcomer pushes me aside.

"What excitable Masters I have. Though in different ways clearly. Why are you so flustered boy?"

"Well" Pinochle began. "That thing kind of killed us before."

"It killed you? Then how come you stand before me?" This was true. For the first time Pinochle took in the fact that he wasn't dead. It was sweet.

"When I am by your side, have no fear that you may lose your way. Remember that victory is all that matters." She then turned to the golem. "My blade is the ultimate instrument! Even the Muses themselves would bow before the sound it makes. Masters, strike with my sword. Show me that you are worthy of having ME as your servant!"

The newcomer was so powerful that she overpowered the golem in a matter of seconds. Pinochle immediately walked over to the floored golem.

"That was for Hub, bitch." He then stomped on the golems head, shattering it into numerous pieces.

"Well well, it appears you are lively as well boy. Still though, that golem bored me. I've waited so long for this, so naturally I'm unsatisfied."

The mark on his hand burned brighter though. He couldn't hear her at all over the pain.

Well well well, look who survived.

Pinochle thought he was cursed when he heard that asshat of a disembodied voice again.

I suppose I owe you an explanation.

Ya think?!

That mark on your hand is called a Command Spell. It proves that you have power over your servant. With it you can give three absolute orders to your servant that can even break the laws of physics. Think of them as a Deus Ex Machina. It also proves that you've entered into the Holy Grail War. If you lose it, then the system will correct the error by reformatting your instances.

"Um, what does that mean?" Rummy asked.

It means that I'll have to kill you. Ok?

"Ok!" Rummy said cheerfully as both the newcomer and Pinochle wondered if she realized that she had received a death threat.

I get that you probably have a lot of questions. But before I forget, I need to read this spheal off since you made it. Congratulations. You have endured much to make it here. Now rest for a while; you've achieved your first goal. It was nothing less than an epic fail, but somehow you managed to change it into a curb-stomp battle, literally! You two really do interest me. Will you fail, or will you succeed? The suspense is killing me! Just like how your hand must be killing you.

Pinochle once again felt the pain in his hand after being reminded it was there. Asshat. Though he did start to put some things together. The voice sounded like someone in his late teens. Someone toying with the world for no reason other than his own amusement.

Oh, you wanna' know who I am? You're gonna' have to figure that out for yourself. I can assure you however that I'm not one of those programs. I'm an administrator to this Holy Grail War. In more ways than one … Wait that came out wrong. But regardless, I think you should know that someone told me before that you two possess a certain light.

Pinochle had no clue what he meant. Rummy though was blunt.

"You're just trying to distract us from that sentence that came out wrong aren't you?"

… Now let us commence with your baptism.

She called it.

You have proven yourself worthy of the honor. For most the monotony of everyday life continues on without end. Your decision to look beyond the accepted and progress means that you have earned the right to exist. However, you have but taken the first step. Be jubilant young knight, for the Holy Grail War begins now!

Pinochle realized that his speaking pattern had changed entirely. She must have called it so hard he reverted back to just reading the script. The pain however was too great for him to bear, and he fainted leaving Rummy and the newcomer to get the rest of the information.

Now, let the Holy Grail War begin!

(Opening music: Ao Iconoclast by Kotoko)

Infirmary

Pinochle woke up in an unfamiliar setting. He was in a white bed with curtains around it. The sound of birds chirping flooded the room. All he could focus on though was this nightmare he had. He dreamed he was in the burning ruins of a city. However, this was all he recalled. He then looked around and saw Rummy sleeping in a similar bed not too far from him. That was when he realized that he was in the infirmary.

He sat up and then heard a very familiar voice.

"So you're finally awake. Truly there are no limits to your feebleness. At least the girl lasted until the administrator stopped talking."

It was then that the woman in red appeared before him.

"I had to carry the both of you back here myself. You really need to go on a diet."

Thanks for the advice woman who apparently defies the laws of physics by appearing out of nowhere.

"But at least you woke up in time for the start of the Holy Grail War. I guess how convenient you two are can be considered a redeeming quality."

"Um, about that. I kind of passed out before Mr. Disembodied voice got to that part, so would you mind telling me what this Holy Grail War is?" Pinochle asked. The woman looked shocked, even angry, upon hearing his question.

"You know nothing of the Holy Grail War?! Then how the Hell did you become my Master?!" She then took a few deep breaths and continued to speak.

"Well, as pitiful as it may be, I suppose I should explain to you what the Holy Grail War is."

And thus the woman told Pinochle what was going on. She was also kind enough to explain what Servants were. From this, he learned that the woman was a Saber class Servant. He agreed, at her request, to simply call her Saber. After class with Saber-sensei was over she dematerialized. As if on cue, Rummy let out a big yawn and woke up.

"Where am I? Hmm? Nucks, where are we?" Pinochle could tell that if he was to be teamed up with those two girls, he would have to become the responsible one.

"The infirmary Rummy."

"Oh, I guess I must of passed out too. Hehhehheh." She said as she closed her eyes, stuck out her tongue, and lightly tapped the side of her head with her fist. He could tell she was going to be doing this a lot.

"Oh, you two are awake now. I'm so relieved."

Both turned to see the newcomer, a girl with purple hair and eyes, wearing a lab coat.

"Neither of you seem to have any injuries, so you can go whenever you want. Also, the SE. RA. PH. should have restored your memories by now, so do not worry. Any magi that seek the Holy Grail have their memories suppressed and are given those of a student. Only masters that manage to recover themselves are allowed to enter the main tournament. Now that you have regained your memories, please review them to make sure they're complete.

"Um Sakura?" Rummy questioned.

"Yes?"

"What's a memory?" Both Pinochle and Rummy said in unison. Sakura looked shocked.

"Your memory restoration failed? I cannot help you. I am just a custodial AI. I can however call one of the administrators over to help." And with that she placed a call with one of the administrators. The administrator would be there shortly.

"I should also give this to you before I forget." Sakura said as she gave them both Portable Terminals. "As a participant, you should pay close attention to any messages that appear on your terminal."

With that the door opened. Out came a man dressed in a black trench coat with a white shirt and jeans underneath. His hair was brown and curly and his eyes were blue. But the first thing they noticed

"Hello there, I heard your memories were not loading for some reason so I came over to see if I could fix that."

Was that he was the voice from before that they heard.

"Are you god?" Rummy asked.

"Pardon?"

"Don't mind her." Pinochle said while covering her mouth.

"Riiiiiiiight. Well I compared your identities with the database and I discovered your memory files are encrypted, meaning that it will take a while before I can extract the vital data you two so seek." After getting a stare from the two of them that assured him that they had no clue what he just said, he decided to simplify it for them. "Means we're working on it."

"Oh!" They both said in unision.

"As for the matter of both of you sharing a Servant, I've already done the necessary paperwork so that you may share her."

He continued on for a bit, though Pinochle couldn't help but wonder. Was he really the voice they had heard?

"Yes I really am the voice you heard. And before you wonder how I did it, Admin privileges."

"So is there anything else you need to tell us?" Rummy asked.

"If you're asking for my name it's Konton. Konton Coded. If not than no, I have nothing else to tell you. See ya' bitches!"

He then dematerialized in a blue laser light, different than how Saber did. After seeing this, the two decided to leave before the room got any weirder. They might as well check the place out anyway. And so it was decided, and they left the room.

School Building

The two of them split up in order to cover more ground. Rummy decided to check the roof and bottom floor, and Pinochle was tasked with scouring the second and third floors as well as the cafeteria.

As Rummy got to the roof she saw a girl with twintails, a red shirt, and grade SS Zetai Ryouki. She moved over to talk to her and the girl began to speak.

"I've investigated this school from top to bottom, but it's not like the structure is special or anything." Yep, that's cyberworld Rin. Rummy thought. How she knew that however, the world may never know.

"…Huh? Hey, you over there." Rin directed at Rummy. Rummy pointed at herself and Rin continued. "Yeah, you. I haven't checked the NPC's out much yet. But now that you're here, I can fix that. Don't move."

Rin walked over and began to touch Rummy. Rin examined and felt every part of her as Rummy tried to hold in her laughter. Rummy knew Rin would freak out when she realized that she wasn't an NPC.

"Imagine that. You're warm, though you shouldn't be. Wait, are you laughing? Why would you be laughing?" She was at Rummy's waist now, and Rummy was enjoying every minute of this build up. After Rin was done feeling her up, she turned around.

"Wait why are you laughing too? We should learn the most about the area, including the NPC's, if we hope to win the war."

"I'm not saying we shouldn't" Came a female voice, probably from her Servant, also trying to hold back her laughter. "But that's another Master you idiot!"

"Wait, she's a Master? That can't be right… A Master should be more…"

"Eeek!" Both Rummy and Rin's Servant released their build up laughter. Meanwhile, Rin's head was spinning.

"Wait, but that means I just felt up…" Rin began to blush profusely. "How embarrassing."

"Not only are you a dummkoph, but you're a pervert too!" Rin's Servant said, earning a high five from Rummy, even though she was invisible.

"Shut it! So I screwed up once, get over it! I'm not a pervert!"

"It's ok Rin." Rummy said. Rin turned her head and gave a sigh of relief. Said relief lasted for about two seconds as Rummy got down on one knee and grabbed Rin's hand as if proposing to her. "You can be as perverted as you want with me sexy."

If Rin was drinking anything, she would have done a spit take. Rin's Servant's laughter intensified, and Saber joined in. It was at this point that Rin had snapped.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" Rin ordered.

After several minutes of pain, the three were now bowing on the floor to Rin. All three of them now had large lumps on their heads. The Servants were materialized now as well. All she gathered about the Servant was that she had long red hair, a Tronish skin tight red body suit with a 02 on it, and two red hair thingies with more Tron lines. After Rin explained why all of this was their fault, she appeared to calm down a little.

"Honestly your face is so bland it's like you lost you don't even have any memories or something." This was Rummy's cue to have more fun at her expense.

"Well actually…" After explaining the situation, Rin was shocked that she was exactly right about Rummy losing her memory. Rummy stealthily received a high five from both Servants as Rin was processing this.

"Wait, your memories are encrypted? That's seriously bad. Once you enter the Holy Grail War, the only way out is by winning. You can't leave prematurely. You'll have to fight without any experience. …Oh well. You'll be dead by the end of the week in that case."

That was the point where Rin ceased to give a damn. Her servant returned to her side, and both Saber and Rummy stood up.

"How impudent of her, but she piques my interest. She'll be an interesting foe, if you have the courage. Those, my amnesiac Master, are fighting words. When we do battle with her, I shall gladly deliver my answer to them."

"… Well, I guess I pity you. At least I can understand most of what my Servant says." This response earned Rin one of Rummy's trademark high fives and began to mend their relationship. "Well in any case, you don't look quite cut out for fighting. I guess I can try and help you unless it's inconvenient for me, b-but only because you're pathetic understand?"

Rin's servant started to giggle, but Rin shot her a death glare. "Understand Lancer?" She said with all the malice in the world.

"Yeah, yeah." Lancer said back. After thanking the two, Rummy headed back down into the building. Her next stop was the first floor. I was so right about picking these floors. More screen time for me!

First Floor

Rummy saw Kotomine and ran up to him. He made the first sentence.

"Congratulations. You have been deemed worthy to be a participant in the Holy Grail War. You may call me Kirei Kotomine. I am an NPC assigned the task of supervising the Holy Grail War." I doubt you're an NPC Kirei. I'm on top the forth wall, and I can see your secrets!

"… Would you please stop staring at me?" After Rummy stopped, Kirei continued. "As of today you and your fellow magi have been given the honor of fighting in the arena up ahead. The war is run as an elimination tournament, with the Grail being awarded to the last person standing. In other words, the participating Masters will kill each other until there is only one person left. Simple enough to understand, yes? Even a complete idiot should be able to understand the rules. Masters get a six day preparation period before Elimination Battles, which will occur on the seventh day. I'd advise you to use the time given to devise the most efficient means of slaughtering your foe. On the seventh day, you and your foe will fight. The winner lives, and the loser is… deleted."

"Um that's fine and all Mr. designated villain, but I'm just trying to figure out who my opponent is." Rummy replied to his wall of text, thus prompting a scowl from him.

"What was that…? You have yet to be informed of your first round opponent? Hmm… Wait just a moment." Kirei said before turning around and entering a room behind him. After shutting the door he noticed a man who looked exactly like Ryan Reynolds crashing on the sofa while watching Whose Line Is It Anyway?.

"Wade, where did you put the tournament bracket?"

"I don't really know Broseph Stolin, but you really should come over here you know. Whose Line is on."

"That depends. Is it the American version or the British one?"

"The American one."

"Well in that case I've already seen it."

"So then, mind telling the readers why we're here anyway?"

"Fine. The reason Wade and I are here in Mastersword's fic is because TIM kicked us out of his house because he thinks if we know too much about the sequel to Fate Zero Sense that we'll spoil it for everybody. So whenever there isn't a new update for Fate Stay Away, we have to be here. And I'm pretending to be an NPC because I want a monopoly on medium awareness. Now if you excuse me I have to pretend to be an NPC so that this girl doesn't make that connection." Kirei said as he left the room.

"Just tell her the brackets are uneven or something!" Assassin called after him.

Kirei walked back to his spot and Rummy asked. "What happened?"

"N-nothing, nothing at all. Anyway, it appears that our reason for being unable to place you is because there are currently an uneven number of players." He gestured to one of the many flat screen TV's mounted on the walls. The screen was blue and had a bunch of codes, like the ones on her ID written in white. There was also, in big letters, text that read "Number of Participants."

"As you can see, there are currently nine hundred and ninety nine-" Kirei was cut off as the number started to rapidly decrease, and several of the codes started to go dark. It took about two whole minutes before it stopped. "One hundred and twenty eight participants." Kirei then received a call.

"I'll tell her then." He hung up. "Well, it appears you will be fighting Shinji Matou."

"Kay, thanks, bai." Rummy said as she began to leave.

"Wait, don't you need me to tell you about your private room?" Kirei asked.

"Nah, it's cool. I've already played the game so I know how to access it." Rummy said as she headed to meet Pinochle on the second floor.

Kirei stood in shock. Could she be like assassin and I? Has she, also broken the fourth wall?

"Shit!" He said out loud.

Private Room

After explaining what happened to Pinochle, they used the Password that Rummy kept from her last play through to enter their private room. Since the room was from Rummy's old save file, it was fully decked out. It had golden chandeliers, gold vases with roses, red cloth draped everywhere, a tiger doll, and more things too but something caught Saber's eye.

"Master, is that a photograph of you and I?"

"Why yes, yes it is!" Rummy replied, doing her signature motion.

"When did you take tha-"

"Saber, we can worry about that later." Rummy said, cutting her off. Saber eyed her with a mixture of shock and fear.

"If you say so master. Well then, this shall be my audience chamber. If you have any grievances, you may address them to me here."

I really hope we make it out alright. Pinochle thought to himself. I don't want to die not knowing who I am.

"Are you feeling fine boy? Are you not already accustomed to this school? Stop running your mind and relax as I have."

Maybe she's right. Pinochle thought. I should just try and relax.

"Though I do sympathize with having nerves on one's first campaign. Cherish that fleeting feeling."

… I take it back, my Servant is insane. Campaign? I know this is called the Holy Grail War, but it's not like we're going to fight an army! Oh well, I guess I should relax. We should rest before heading down to the arena later.

And with that, the three relaxed, so that they would be ready to face the challenges that the arena held for them.

(Ending Music: Mosaic Kakera by Sunset Swish)

Omake Author's Room

"Welcome to my room! I am the author of this story, Mastersword124356. This place here is called the Author's Room! It's a talk show where I invite a character or two from the story, grant them medium awareness for a little bit, and then have a chat with them. Our first guest is the girl who leapt through the fourth wall. Her name is Rummy!"

The swivel chair she was in spinned around to reveal her.

"So Rummy, how did you like the first chapter?"

"It was actually pretty good!" She said while doing her motion.

"Well thanks Rummy!"

"I mean, I was concerned when I heard you were doing the challenge. After all, the rest of your stories suck." Mastersword then suffered a nonfatal heart attack. "I guess I'll see you next time on Rummy's Room!" Soon all the screen time will belong to me! Muahahahahahahahaha!