"I hate you."

"You love me, and you know it!"

"Git!"

"Killjoy!" without waiting for a response from the angry Brit, Alfred dragged him further into his favourite place ever: the local amusement park. Bright smile in place, the American couldn't wait to show his boyfriend all his favourite rides, which were pretty much all available ones. As he guided the still grumpy Brit through the suffocating crowd, his boyfriend continued his verbal assault from before.

"Why the bloody hell did you drag me here anyways?! This place is making me claustrophobic, and it stinks like the junk food you always eat at home!" the last statement was untrue; Arthur had forbidden Alfred to eat any of his beloved hamburgers in their shared flat. Didn't stop the American from eating them, though; he just sat on the porch outside until he was done.

When Alfred was finally satisfied with their destination, Arthur groaned loudly. The line was approximately as long as the Chinese wall, and to all sides there were obnoxious people.

"Must it be exactly this ride? It has the longest line of them all!" Arthur complained, thick eyebrows tightly knit together. He had managed to get over most of his boyfriend's antics, but he'd probably never get over the fact that Alfred always dragged him to the most crowded of places. And always during the hottest times, too.

"Come on, Artie," the mere use of that horrible "pet name" made Arthur wan to punch his boyfriend in the gut, "this is the coolest ride in the whole park! It's super fast and got loops and drops and it goes up really high and not to mention fast-"

"Yes, I get it, very nice Alfred" Arthur interrupted the over-enthusiastic American in his ramblings that, as the Brit knew from experience, could go on for hours.

After waiting amidst of dozens of sweaty people and loud kids – the loudest standing right in front of the annoyed Brit, in form of his American boyfriend – they finally got to the actual ride. Alfred paid for the tickets, much to Arthur's dismay, and, on Alfred's demand, got onto the very front ride of what seemed to be the scariest roller coasters since their existence. It was called "boomerang", and Arthur was pretty sure he did not want to know why exactly it had that name. Arthur started to uneasily squirm in his seat. It was just now he saw the huge sign that had all the circumstances under which you weren't allowed to ride the roller coaster. I didn't even know there were so many reasons you shouldn't ride on of these monstrosities!, Arthur thought to himself as he made sure his seat belt was fastened tight enough. Alfred noticed his uneasiness, and couldn't help his grin widening.

"Scared, Artie~?" he cooed.

"Of course not, you git! Why would I be scared?!" Arthur replied angrily.

"Well, your squirming sure tells me something different!" When Arthur didn't answer anymore, but just stared on his fiddling hands in shame, Alfred continued, in a less bragging tone, "If you get scared, you can hold onto me, kay?"

"Yeah, whatever" Arthur still didn't look up.

The ride finally started. The wagon was drawn back- and upwards at an agonizingly slow pace, revealing the downwards drop inch by inch. Arthur gulped nervously. He relaxed a little when he felt a warm, big hand envelop his own. The relaxation didn't last long, though, because it was right then the wagon started its quick descend. Arthur squeezed his boyfriend's hand almost to the breaking point and started screaming his lungs out as the wagon ascended again into a looping. Next to him, Alfred just woo-hooed, clearly enjoying the ride. Those seats are way to spacious, they're made for fat Americans, I'm going to drop out bloody hell, SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF HERE! Arthur wasn't sure if had actually screamed that, but he didn't really care, since he was absolutely sure he would die right there and then. Expecting the worst, Arthur closed his eyes, only to find them slowly ascending again soon after. He cracked open an eye to check if it was just his bodiless self rising up to heaven or if he had miraculously survived this horror-ride. It was the latter.

"Oh thank god it's over!" he exclaimed.

"Over?! The best part is about to come!" Alfred grinned even broader than before. "Now we get to ride the whole thing backwards!"

Arthur's eyes became as big as plates as he heard this, though he didn't have much time to process it. Suddenly, they dropped again, and the horror started all over, just worse.

When it was finally over, Arthur was sure of three things: 1. he was sicker than ever before in his life, 2. he would never, EVER do anything like that again, and 3. he was going to KILL Alfred.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it? A little boring maybe, but you seemed to be pretty excited" Alfred blubbered, motioning to his hand, which had marks from Arthur's nails on it. The Brit would have replied something sour, but he was busy trying not to hurl onto his boyfriend.

"…Artie? You okay?" Alfred tried. No response. "Artie?" Still nothing. "Arthur?" Alfred finally got his response. In the form of Arthur hurling onto his jeans.

It had taken a while until Arthur had felt like he could ever open his mouth again without vomiting, and also a little bit until they had gotten a new pair of jeans for the concerned Alfred, who had stayed with his boyfriend all the time.

"Can we please go home now?" Arthur asked.

"No. I want to make it up to you!"

"I am NOT going on a roller coaster with again. Ever."

"That wasn't my plan. Please, just…let me do this. I wanted to this from the start, the roller coaster was just to lighten up the mood-"

"That failed."

"I know. Please? I'll take you out on that romantic dinner you've been pester-, er, I mean, asking me about!"

"Does it involve any roller coasters?"

"No"

"…okay. But don't screw this up."

"I won't!" Alfred happily dragged his boyfriend through the ever-increasing crowd, practically skipping all the while, until they arrived at a pink ride entrance with hearts drawn all over it. The line was not too long and consisted mainly of flirty couples and one or two groups of males who were obviously doing this as a dare. In baby-blue letters the sign in front of the entrance said,

"…'The love boat'?"

"You got it!" Alfred giddily replied. "Or don't you want to?" he added, not quite as sure of himself as before.

"No, no, I-…I'd love to…" Arthur quickly interjected.

"Awesome!"

"You're starting to sound like that annoying albino, quit it."

"…sorry"

The line wasn't awfully long, and soon it was their turn. Alfred paid the tickets again, and they were led to a swan-shaped boat in a dark tunnel. Either no homophobes had been present, or everyone thought they did as a dare, too, like those other kids before them, Arthur didn't know. But he didn't care either, he was so happy his boyfriend had finally decided to do something even just semi-romantic again. Alfred helped him into the boat before hopping in himself, and the boat got going. Arthur closed his eyes an leaned against Alfred as he listened to the ever so slight gushing of water and felt the boat swaying lightly.

"Enjoying yourself?" his substitute pillow asked.

"Mhmm" Arthur just purred back in response. For a while they just sat there in silence, until Alfred moved a little.

"What are you doing?" Arthur questioned.

"Oh. I was hoping you were asleep" the American just replied, before he moved off of the cushioned seats of the boat to its floor.

"What are you doing?!" Arthur asked again, a little more alert this time.

"Just trust me." That was a bit of a hard task when they were enveloped in complete darkness, but Arthur shut up. All of a sudden he heard – and felt – his fly being opened and his legs being nudged apart. Expert fingers opened the button of his jeans and pulled both them and the underlying boxers down. Arthur wanted to remind the American in front of him that they were in a boat that could reach the light of day at any moment, but then he felt a soft, warm tongue sliding up and down his length. The Brit stifled a moan and quickly covered his mouth with his hand. Alfred continued his teasing while reaching up to remove Arthur's hand. He wanted to hear every delicious moan his boyfriend would release. Still licking the already erect cock in front of him, Alfred lifted Arthur's legs over his shoulders.

"Quit…teasing…!" Arthur whimpered, desperately trying to hold his moans back; he didn't want anyone hearing them.

Alfred wordlessly engulfed Arthur's whole length with no effort at all, smirking in his head at the needy moan he elicited from his partner. He bobbed his head up and down at an increasing pace, until he just settled on burying his face deep between the Brit's thighs and sucking the dick in his mouth. With every hard suck, Arthur released another delicious moan, using his hands to hold the American right where he was. Alfred started stroking his thigh and fondling with his balls. He then let his fingers dare a little further, between his boyfriend's ass cheeks. When he pushed one of his fingers a little inside, Arthur teetered over the edge. With his loudest and neediest moan since they started the ride, he climaxed hard into the American's mouth. The latter dutifully swallowed every last drop of semen and continued sucking all there was out of the Brit.

He released the now limp cock of the Brit and flashed an unseen smile.

"Redeemed myself?" he asked.

"Y-yeah…" Arthur managed to breathe out.

Alfred got back in his seat and kissed his boyfriends cheek as he pulled the latter's pants and boxers back up. He gently stroked the Brit's waist as he moved his mouth onto Arthur's in a sweet kiss. Alfred lovingly stroked Arthur's hair and leaned their foreheads together.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah. I-I love you, too…" the Brit smiled happily as he said that.

While they were getting out of the tunnel and made their way back home, two foreigners who happened to work at the love boat's security surveillance couldn't take their eyes of what they had seen via the dark vision cameras.

"Wow. That was hot." The Hungarian girl said, eyes still glued to the screen.

"Indeed, Elizaveta-san." The Japanese man replied, equally awed.

"Can you get it on USB for me?"

"Hai. If you don't mind I will make a copy for myself, too."

"Sure, go ahead."

"…"

"…"

"We have to get those two to visit the love boat more often"

A/N: OHEMGEE my second smut, for a certain AlfredFosterJones who requested it~ I was going to throw in Iggy giving head to Alfred as well, but I was tired xD I apologize for the lame ending, I couldn't think of anything else xD

Btw, The "Boomerang" roller coaster exists; it's in Vienna, and waaaay less scary than I portrayed it here. But still a fun ride~

Tell me if you find any mistakes! Reviews are love~

EDIT: Holy mother of god, this has gotten sooo much feedback, in form of faves and reviews! It's giving me a real nice confidence boost~ I should write more oneshots xD On that note, you, the dear reader, can request one from me if you wish~