Disclaimer: I own a laptop. And a newly exciting university time table. I do not, however, own Spiderman or anything else that you might recognise. Cheers.

Nb. A more happy Peter/Gwen fic than my last, which is nice, and way more kissing which is also nice. Not sure if I'll make the foray into M-rating. My stories usually write themselves, though, so we'll have to see how the characters feel.

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"Her lips on his could tell him better than all her stumbling words."

—Margaret Mitchell

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The first time it happens, Peter is too shocked to react any more than putting his hands on her waist and pulling her closer.

It's something that she counts on—he's always had his head in the clouds, and when he's walking around in the school halls it's the perfect time—and she's had this planned for a while, so it works exactly as she wanted. In the small break between fifth period and sixth she finds the empty janitor's closet (that she's noticed he walks past every day at this time) and she waits. It's the only time they have a coinciding free period and he will have to come to his locker after his chem. class if he wants to get his skateboard. He's always late, so as the other students pepper off to their respective six period classes, she doesn't worry that she can't see him. Instead she waits some more, and when she hears the familiar sounds of him skateboarding down the empty halls, she moves.

Her movements are smooth, mostly because of how much she's rehearsed. Of course, she's factored in his weight but the sudden feel of his shirt in her hands surprises her a little, so they both stumble back as she yanks him toward her.

The skateboard skids off somewhere, out of her mind, and she pulls the door close and kisses him.

He freezes for a second before he's kissing her back—and she's glad to have counted on his hormones. She's even more glad when his hands settle on her hips, and his fingers squeeze a little (an obvious moment of internal conflict) before he's pulling her closer, holding her body to his and biting softly on her lower lip.

His tongue slips in easily, naturally, and Gwen remembers exactly what it is about kissing this boy that is so addictive. It's different to the one kiss she's had in the time since she dated him. Peter was her first kiss—and was so, so fabulous that she just assumed they were all like that. But then she was at a party and playing spin the bottle (and yes, they'd been drinking) and she'd gotten some kids tongue pushing into her mouth. The sensation was just off and he smelt bad and she still grimaces at the memory.

It's not like that with Peter. He smells like he always does—like the fresh crisp air of winter and—no, that sounds lame. He just smells like Peter and that's all she needs—all she wants is to feel somewhat connected to him again and this is how she can do it.

He moves to pull back a bit—it feels like it might be just a break to catch his breath but Gwen's not going to allow that. He takes a short quick breath before she's kissing him again, pressing him against the back of the small closet and holding him tightly.

For the moment, for this very quick, far too brief moment, she'll have him.

He doesn't seem to mind though—now he's breathing through his nose and they're making a little more noise than she had anticipated but she can't bring herself to care about that because he's tightening his arms, wrapping them around her like he can't hold enough of her to him.

It feels like he wants her as desperately as she wants him, and the thought sends a shiver down her spine.

She doesn't know how to feel about the break up. She was upset and humiliated first—that she had to explain that she'd been dumped. When her friends all called him an asshole and she was torn between yelling at him because yeah, she totally has a right to—and yelling at her friends because that's not what he is at all. Following that, there's a furious anger in her that yeah, calls Peter an asshole every time she sees him. She wants to throw things at him and scream at the top of her lungs and one night she stands on the roof (yeah—that roof) and she screams to the sky and demands to know why her father did this to her.

Then she falls to her knees, cries and begs that her daddy forgives her for yelling. When she goes inside again, it's shamefaced and she can't meet her mother's eye.

She wakes up the next day with a new idea—the grim determination that fine, Peter wouldn't be with her for her own protection—but she could survive with just having a piece of him. She could be with him casually. Surely that would stop her being a target, then?

And that's what she says when he finally breaks apart.

"Gwen—what, we—I mean—we can't."

Gwen brushes his concern away. "I know," she says breathlessly, leaning forward and recapturing his lips. For obvious reasons, this seems to confuse him, but she wraps her arms around his neck and holds him to her. God, she doesn't want to let go.

Three times he pulls back a bit before surging forward and kissing her more thoroughly. Finally, on the fourth try, he sticks to his guns and pulls away.

"Gwen—what are you doing?"

His hair is ruffled where she's run her fingers through it and his lips are pink from kissing. His hands are still holding her waist, holding her tight and obviously at odds with his words, and he's watching her through hooded eyes. But his resolve seems firm and Gwen knows better than to go for it again.

She rocks back and flattens her feet, not letting go of him. She brushes her hands across his cheek and tries not to think about the lurch in her stomach that she gets just from looking at his face.

"You can't date me—" she says. "I get it. But—I just—we can do this, right?"

Peter stares at her incredulously, gaping for a couple of seconds. This time, Gwen's pretty sure if she kisses him again he won't protest.

She's right.

.

The second time it happens they're at the library after school. She's seen him a couple of times since the kiss in the closet but it's been eye contact in the hallways and kind of smiles in class. Nothing where they can nearly start discussing this thing. Gwen's not super keen to give Peter a chance to talk about it, anyway—because she thinks she knows what he will want to say.

But she doesn't want to avoid him, just in case he goes for it—and she doesn't want him to think she regrets her actions.

But then they're assigned to work in the same group for their English class and the problem of communication is solved for them. They all head to the library to check out some books, with the other two in their group animatedly discussing Spiderman and his latest antics. Gwen shoots Peter a smirk that he smiles back at and something in Gwen soars.

They fetch their books, each getting different sources for the question to study, before returning and sitting down next at the table. Gwen is the first back to the table and she assumes Peter won't want to be beside her, but he takes the seat next to her and smiles nervously.

"We're looking at Chekov's literary devices," Annie (a short girl with bright copper curls and a keen smile) says when they look at all the books. "So I was thinking maybe we could break them up and discuss them and take the same notes. That way we'll each know all the information."

They all agree and Peter gets to talk first. "Right, well," he starts off uncomfortably (yeah, that adorable way that makes Gwen grin in any circumstance), "I grabbed some books on Chekov's gun and there were a couple of copies so I thought—"

Gwen brushes her knee against his as he tenses, hesitating and falling silent for a second.

In Gwen's defence, that one was totally accidental.

Josh (the other guy in their group, who lives in the same building as Gwen and has since they were young) clears his throat awkwardly, and recaptures Peter's attention.

"Sorry," Peter stammers. "I, uh—" he pauses as he recaptures his train of thought. He goes on to explain the Chekov's gun device in literary terms quite clearly and Gwen focuses on taking notes, and not the way her elbow brushes his when she moves a bit. She takes about a page of notes while he talks, and then it's Annie's turn to explain the origins and where Chekov got the idea.

They're in the middle of Annie's explanation of a quote about sculpting and how it relates to writing when Gwen drops her pencil and instinctively ducks under the table to grab it. This time it's her hair to brush across Peter's knee.

When she gets back up, Peter looks tense and Josh and Annie look way too amused.

Peter smiles tightly. "Can I just chat to Gwen for a second?" he asks, obviously struggling to sound casual.

Annie and Josh share a knowing look before shrugging. Gwen looks at Peter with wide eyes, and he doesn't give her much of a choice. He grabs her arm and gentle pulls her after him as they head into the stacks of the library.

"What are you doing?" he asks, his eyes scanning her face as though he's trying to find some answer that she's keeping from him.

She looks apologetic. "I actually dropped my pen. I wasn't—I mean, I didn't mean to."

God, they make an eloquent pair.

Peter looks at her for a moment, lifting a hand to cup her face. She leans into the touch instinctively, and looks right back at him as he continues to analyse her face.

"Do you know how a guy is going to react when you pull him into a closet to make out, and then two days later your head is touching his leg?" Peter's voice is soft, and even though it sounds like he's joking, he's watching her with a fondness that she's not totally used to facing.

Gwen bites her lip.

"No," she responds. "You're the only one I've done it to."

He smiles slightly, like he wants to laugh, but there's something in his eyes that's so sad Gwen just knows she's not going to be happy with where he wants to take this conversation.

She doesn't give him the chance.

She wonders what it might say about her that she's taken to stopping him from thinking properly by assaulting him with her mouth, but it's successful. Peter's head doesn't seem to work the way he wants it to when she's kissing him, and he kisses her back.

But he gets a better control of it this time—probably because it's third period, and the library is pretty full and it's all a little distracting. He pulls away.

"What are you doing, Gwen?" he asks again.

She frowns up at him. "You won't be my boyfriend—you barely even my friend. But I miss you and I like being with you so this is what I've come up with."

He strokes the side of her face and brushes some of her hair behind her ear.

"But this isn't you," he says. "You're not this girl."

She stares at him for a couple of seconds, totally silent. She wants to get angry at him. To demand who the hell he thinks he is to decide what girl she can and can't be. But she can't, because he's right—he's so right—she'd never do this with any other boy and she wouldn't have done it for him a couple of months ago.

It kind of kills her that he knows her like this.

"I could be," she says, her voice small.

Peter presses a kiss to her forehead. "Don't. Don't change for me. Not for me."

God, how can this boy say such profound stuff when he's stammering and stuttering most of the time? It's confusing—and she can hear in his voice that he cares about her—but it's like being dumped again. Isn't this every teenage boy's dream? To have a physical relationship without the strings attached.

"I miss you," she tries again.

The look Peter gives her is so sad that she has to fight from breaking out in tears. He takes a step away from her and tries not to look her in the eye—the same way he did when she stood on his porch and figured out what her Dad had asked him to do—and she can see him shutting off right before her eyes.

He doesn't say it back.

It cuts her, it hurts to watch, and she doesn't want to cry at school, so she makes a hasty retreat back to the table, their books, and Josh and Annie.

The rest of the class is awkward, and Josh and Annie exchange worried looks while Gwen and Peter don't look up at all.

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The third time it happens, Gwen wishes it had been different. It's the three month anniversary of her father's death, and she, her brothers and her mother head to the graveyard to pay their respects, only to be greeted with the sight of graffiti on the crumbled and knocked over stone. It's split in two, and it's chipped and it's cracked and the reporters hear about it too quickly so they're there in time to snap pictures of the absolutely distraught Stacey family.

Gwen starts crying in front of the camera's and doesn't stop.

The next morning she gets out of bed and eats her breakfast quietly. She glances across the breakfast table—where her father's seat is still untouched—and catches sight of the newspaper.

SPIDERMAN PAYS HIS OWN RESPECTS FOR FALLEN CITY HERO. VANDALS CAUGHT AND CONFESS.

And she bursts into tears all over again.

She gets dressed, leaves the house without makeup because even if she could stop the tears long enough to apply some mascara, there's a very good chance she's only going to cry it away seconds later. She hails a cab and gives the driver Peter's address.

In the car ride over, she can tell the cabbie recognises her from yesterday's pictures and she tries to blow it off. She's not great at nonchalance in the best of situations, and the tear tracks on her face are practically stains at this point, so she's not doing a great job of it. But, proving that all New York cabbies aren't totally heartless, he tells her the fare is half price and offers to wait for her if she needs a ride back.

Gwen smiles at him (the first since the graveyard), but declines. She has things to say to Peter, and she doesn't plan on being quick about it.

When she knocks on the door, she's really glad that it's Peter's aunt who answers. She's not sure what Peter would have done if he'd been the one to answer, but she's walked away from this porch in tears before and she's not keen to repeat the experience.

Aunt May looks at her fondly, and pulls her into an unexpected hug. "Come in," she says. "I am so sorry, you poor, sweet girl."

Gwen's surprised, because obviously, she's never really met this woman before, but the hug is nice and warm and Gwen doesn't mind at all hugging her back. It's nice to hug someone and feel that they actually understand the degree of pain she's feeling in wake of this loss. Only now can Gwen imagine the pain of losing the man she swore to spend her life with. She's not going to assume that that man for her is Peter—but some part of her feels that he could be.

"He's upstairs," Aunt May tells her when she releases her. "Just knock to let him know you're coming in."

She doesn't say anything suspect, and it's probably because Gwen's a teenager and sensible or not, that's just where her mind goes. She blushes slightly, and turns—hoping that Aunt May didn't see. She hears a chuckling sound from behind her that tells her that she wasn't successful.

"And leave the door open," Aunt May says again.

Gwen blushes furiously. Okay, so she definitely saw.

She takes the steps one by one, walking slowly and wondering how this is going to go. It may end up badly, but she hopes it won't—and she knows that he's the person she needs to see right now. If only to thank him for what he did to those criminals who'd ruined her father's grave.

She knocks on the door, and he sounds a bit distracted when he calls out, "come in!"

There's a hissing and a click on the door as unlocks and when she does open it, she expects to be faced with him. But he's sitting on the floor, surrounded by what looks to be calculus homework, and wearing his father's glasses. His eyes widen when he sees it's her.

He scrambles to his feet pretty hastily. Gwen steps into the room, not waiting for another invitation and closing the door behind her (despite Aunt May's instructions). She's not letting Peter kick her out—or, well, she's at least not going to make it easy for him.

"Gwen—uh—what are you—uh—hi?"

She manages to muster up a weak smile but it's about all she can offer in response. She wants to lean forward and fall into his arms and cry but she feels that might be a bit inappropriate.

Peter seems to figure that out on his own. "Are you sure—is this—I mean, is this a good idea?" he says. His voice is soft and gentle.

Gwen can't keep the smile on her face at those words and when it falls, Peter's eyes widen further. He seems to figure out that this is really not the time or place to start discussing their shit storm of a relationship because right here, right now—she needs him and that's all he should need to know.

He's a remarkably astute guy when he wants to be and he gets it. He holds out his arms and pulls her into a hug, pressing his cheek into her hair and wrapping his arms around her. Again, he smells just like he should and it's a comfort—and it's exactly what she needs.

He whispers sweet things into her hair. "It's going to be alright, I promise, shh, I'm sorry, I'm so, sorry, shh, it'll be alright, shh."

She wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him close and revels in his touch.

They stay like that for who knows how long, until the tears finally begin to dry and she feels like maybe things will get better. When he notes the subsiding tears, he moves his hand from where it was stroking her hair, down to her back. He rubs small circles on her shoulder and hugs her more tightly for a moment before taking a cautious step back.

"What can I do?" he asks quietly.

Gwen gives his room a quick once over, searching for activities and trying to think of something to do. Her gaze settles back on the homework he'd been doing when she walked in and she gestures to it.

"Is that the calc homework?" she asks, her voice hoarse.

Peter nods, looking a bit confused and lowers himself to the floor. As Gwen moves to do the same, she glances over his shoulder and sees his computer—and her face as his computer desktop. Peter must see her responding smile because he turns to see what she's looking at and flushes when he sees it. He turns back to look at her and she smiles at him, but not mentioning it. It would be uncomfortable if it were a different situation—if she wasn't already exhausted by her horrible last two days, and she wanted to talk to him about this stupid separation kick he's on.

But she finds it nice. Because he still cares about her—and that's exactly what she needs right now.

They work on Mrs. Forbes calc problems and talk about the questions Gwen was having trouble with and the different questions that Peter couldn't quite answer. Aunt May brings up cookies after a couple of hours and pointedly leaves the door open a crack—a move that brings both teens blushing some more.

"Did you see Flash's backpack on Friday?" Peter asks her with a smile.

Gwen smiles. "I thought the t-shirt was bad enough."

Peter grins. "He's been beating up less helpless freshman these days though," he reasons. "Maybe Spiderman's a good influence and not this vigilante horror that the newspapers think he is."

Gwen smiles. "They don't think that today," she says with a pointed look.

The atmosphere in the room changes and Peter suddenly tenses slightly. She reaches out and grasps his hand tightly. "No. Thank you, Peter. Thank you."

They both know they're talking about the men he captured for attacking the grave—and for the confession he got out of them.

There's a moment when Peter glances at her, his expression unreadable, and then glances down at her hand on his. There's a palpable moment in the air, as neither of them know what to do, and then they're kissing.

This time it's soft and gentle and slow and it's only a couple of moments. Peter brings his hand up to cradle her jaw and Gwen brings her own hand up to hold his wrist there. Their tongues tangle, warm and wet and it's nothing like their other kisses—because they're not on a roof, trying to figure out their feelings, and he's not injured and she's not trying to sell him on a friends with benefits scheme. It comforting and warm and lovely.

She leaves with a smile on her face, and the tears don't return.

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The fourth is hot, passionate and full of fire.

As she should have expected, he avoids her for the next couple of days. The people at school have been lovely to her, and her teachers have given her extensions on her assessment, but Peter isn't talking to her and he won't even make eye contact in the halls.

Suddenly it's a little too much for her. Because she's been through a lot in the last couple of months, and she definitely knows that he's been through a lot as well, but they had a moment damnit and she won't let him get away with it.

Granted, she probably could have found a better forum for this confrontation. Maybe somewhere in private. As it is, he's standing in the hallway, talking to Harry Osborne from their physics class and she's walking down the hall with MJ at her side, talking to her about something that Tory Jensen did in her free period (with Tyler Marks, yeah).

But she's in the moment, damnit.

It's just that he glances up as they round the corner, and she catches his eye for the barest second before he flushes and looks away—shifting slightly so he's got his back to her. Which is just so not cool.

"Peter Parker, you look at me right now!"

Seventy five percent of the people in the same hall as them fall silent. The other twenty five percent sniggers. Peter blushes bright red to his roots.

"Gwen," he says, scandalised, his voice raspy. "Uhm..."

"Shut up." She says instantly. "Just shut up."

This time it's Mary Jane who feels the need to comment. She's not exactly helpful. "Way to go, Stacey," she says, sounding equally scandalised but in a completely different way to Peter. She sounds beyond impressed.

Gwen ignores her, but feels a flush of courage from the words and stalks straight up to Peter. Peter stands his ground, mostly because he looks too scared to do anything else, but Harry scuttles backwards a couple of steps and watches with wide eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" Gwen demands, trying not to focus too much on the way her voice is echoing around the hall.

Peter is having more trouble with it. He darts his gaze anxiously around all the excited looking onlookers. "Gwen, maybe we should—"

"No." Gwen interrupts him. "You will talk to me right now."

She can see out of the corner of her eye—Annie and Josh are watching from the sidelines. Harry and MJ have come to stand next to each other and are watching with wide eyes and whispering—probably talking about predictions and where on earth they think this exchange is going to go.

Peter takes one more look around before she sees something flash in his eye and she knows now, in his head, he's got the strength of Spiderman behind him to have this confrontation. And the thought excites her because she has a lot of things to say to her.

"Fine." He says. He's still quiet, but he's doing this. They're going to have this talk now. "What—what do you want me to say?"

Gwen scowls.

"I want you to tell me what's going on in your head. Because yesterday you were kissing me," (that declaration is met with a couple of 'whoops' from the few male onlookers) "and today you won't even look at me." (And that declaration earns Peter a lot of angry stares from all the females).

"Gwen I—"

"I don't want any decision about us to be made by you because of my father, or because of—your work. Because you're not the only one involved and this is not just your decision to make. It's ours." She continues, ploughing on while she can still get word in.

"I know, Gwen, I just—"

"Because you and I are good together and we could be so much better than this and—"

"Gwen, listen, I think—"

She keeps it up though. A solid stream of every argument she can think of, every reason why they should be together. Why he should just forget what her father said and just be with her. "I mean, I love you, Peter and I think you love me and I don't want to miss out on that—on having that with you—and if that's not enough I don't know what—oh!"

Because this time, he kisses her. The crowd around them explodes and they're surrounded by catcalls and whoops but they're not paying any attention because Peter is kissing her and it's fantastic. It's the first of their kisses since the one of the rooftop that he's really initiated and it's brilliant and amazing and she can't really think straight because he's so close to her and could this really mean what she thinks it might mean?

They're interrupted by the solid clearing of a throat and they break apart to realise the crowd has hastily dispersed and Mr. Collins is standing next to them with his eyebrows raised.

They both get an afternoon detention for inappropriate PDA in the hallways but Peter holds her hand underneath the desk and Gwen can't keep the smile from her face.

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The fifth kiss is at the skate park. And before you go criticising the romance of that particular spot, you have to hear the story. Peter smiling bashfully at her as they walk down from school so that she and Peter can be alone (this is where he started to learn to swing from some chains and figured out he could walk up walls, he tells her as they walk), and he's carrying his board in one hand and still holding her hand in the other.

They run around for a bit, until Peter pulls her back and sits her down on the top of one of the slides. He nudges her leg with his knee and smiles at her.

"We're going to have to be careful," he says, still smiling but sounding serious. "You can't have anything to do with Spiderman—because I won't let him hurt you."

Gwen looks at him. "I'm involved, Peter. And if you need help, I am going to give it. So don't even try to tell me otherwise."

He looks pained. "Gwen—this is dangerous."

"You do it every day."

Peter frowns. "Yeah. But I'm a mutant."

"You're not a mutant. You got bitten by a mutant. And that was your own fault so don't even try it." She tells him stonily.

Peter doesn't look convinced. "If you got hurt, Gwen—I would never forgive myself. You can help—but only when I'm Peter. Because I won't come near you in the suit and you can't come near me."

It's a good enough compromise and it means she get's Peter Parker—who she's been interested much longer than Spiderman has been around. So she nods and squeezes his hand tighter.

Then he swoops around so that he's facing her, and so that he's holding himself up with his hands on either side of her waist and he's kissing her and she thinks that a display of his super powers is really not the greatest way to start something when they're supposed to be keeping Spiderman separate but as she wraps her arms around his neck she decides she doesn't mind at all.

.

The rest of the kisses are as individual and unique as ever, and there are so many of them that Gwen loses counts. They kiss at her home and his home and they kiss at school and at the skate park and they kiss in the janitors cupboards and on the bleachers and the kiss on the mouth and sometimes they kiss in more exciting places.

But it's lovely and it's perfect and it's everything Gwen ever wanted. She knows her Dad would be happy for her—despite the uncomfortable first introduction—and Peter tells her at least once a week that his Uncle Ben would have loved her.

They manage to keep Spiderman separate for a while, until some of his enemies figure out who he is. There are a couple of near misses—one particularly terrifying incident with the green goblin and the roof of one of the high rises—she nearly gets thrown from the roof, but Peter is there to help her in the nick of time and everything is good. Peter almost stops it there but Gwen is a determined girl and she doesn't let it stop them.

.

They kiss at the altar and Gwen's wearing a white dress and a veil and Peter says every single one of his vows without one 'uhm' or 'uh' and even though they kiss on command and it's just like the first time and the second time and the third and the fourth and every other time afterwards.

:

"Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases."

-Chinese Proverb

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A/N: Good god, those of you who are lactose intolerant should probably step back to avoid all of that CHEESE but it's made me happy to write. It didn't get into the M-rated but I was thinking I might to a M follow up chapter? Or maybe a Peter POV?

I dunno. I'm just really in the Gwen/Peter mood and I'm enjoying feeling inspired.

Please review.

Edited: 18August2012