Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
A/N: This is your last warning. Flames will be mocked and then disregarded. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's not f*cking rocket science! Now that's out of the way, let me explain 2 things to you all: 1) This was thought up during a discussion with Mary-Jo (GoT) about Legolas. I came to the conclusion that, if I had read the book before seeing the film, I probably wouldn't like Legolas, at all. He's so damn poncy in the book! Mary-Jo suggested that we write it and post it, so we have! YAY! 2) I've said it before and I'll it again. I'm no good at thinking up proper LotR style names. But she's actually called Christina for two reasons. She hates Legolas (there's no proper reason why, she just does) and Orlando Bloom's girlfriend is Christina Ricci (F*cking b*tch). Therefore, if I make her hate Legolas it will make me feel better. Simple! The second reason you shall find out at the end! And, in case you were wondering, she's a, sort of, alternative personality for Michelle. Anyhoo, I hope you like it. We do! Some of the ideas had us in stitches! R&r, blah, blah, blah! You don't need to be told. Luvs Elfie xXxXx
______________________
Once again, this is Guardian of Tears, Elfie's not here as she's on holiday blah, blah, blah. (Read chapter 15 of 'A new enemy' for the full story). Now I'll just let you read, alright.
READ!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 1
"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear." Gandalf walked over and stood behind Frodo. Aragorn stood up from his seat.
"If, by my life or death, I can protect, I will. You have my sword."
"And you have my bow." Legolas stepped forward.
"And my axe." Gimli stepped forward, also, and shot a dark look at Legolas. Boromir walked toward the hobbit.
"You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is, indeed, the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done."
"Here! Mr Frodo's not going anywhere without me!" Sam leapt out from behind a bush and ran to his master's side.
"No, indeed, it seems hardly possible to separate you. Even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not." Elrond said with a smirk. Two other hobbits appeared from their hiding places.
"Oi! We're coming too! You'd have to send home, tied up in a sack, to stop us!" said Merry.
"Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this type of mission. quest. thing." Pippin said, confidently.
"Well, that rules you out, Pip." Merry whispered. And fairly young woman shoved her way through the middle off the nine men, very ungracefully.
"And you can have my. um. me! Yeah, you can have me! I would say sword, he already said it." She said.
"Christina, you can't go." Said Elrond, unenthusiastically. He would actually be glad when she went. This was just part of the plan to make her more determined to go. He was often lumbered with her. When the total population of Rohan were on the verge of suicide (because of her), she was sent to Rivendell for whatever reason they could think of. She turned to look at him.
"And why not? That's what I was sent here for."
"That's not the point."
"That's exactly the point. I'm the only representative of Rohan, so I'm going. Got that? I'm going." She glared at Elrond and then looked expectantly at the others. They nodded their heads anxiously
"So be it. You shall be the fellowship of the Ring." Elrond said, monotonously.
"Good." She said. "Now who have we got here?" They were standing in a line and, as she pointed to each of them, they said their names. "But no titles." She warned.
"Frodo."
"Sam."
"Merry."
"Pippin."
"Aragorn."
"Legolas."
"Gandalf."
"Boromir."
"Gimli." Christina was a very stereotypical person. She had only to glance at a person and she made a judgement. But, the weird thing was, she was very often right. The predictions she made about fellowship were (in the order they said their names):
"Gay, gay, gay, gay, glory-hunter, very gay, pervert, obsessed. what is that?"
"Excuse me?" Gandalf said, speaking for all of them.
"Why? What have you done?" said Pippin, but he was ignored.
"They were my preconceptions about you all. In order, if you were wondering. It's a habit. Everyone I've ever met has been summarised into one or two words."
"Why am I very gay?" said Legolas, indignantly. "I'm not gay!" 'There's always one.' She thought.
"Sure, sweetie. Whatever you say." 'The others have accepted what I think of them. But, he has to be difficult.' She decided she didn't like him. "I'll have you know, I'm rarely wrong about these things."
"Well, I'm telling you now, you're wrong this time!"
"If you say so." She started to walk away. "Call me when you're going." And she was gone.
"That's why we don't need women." Legolas said, once she'd left. "Remind me why she has to go."
"Because she is NOT staying here!" said Elrond.
A/N: Not very funny, as yet, but it'll be funny later. Like most things I do, the better ideas are further into the book/film. Anyhoo, I'll go now! Luvs Elfie xXxXx
Final Note: Please review as Elfie would love to have some reviews to come back to. ~Guardian of Tears
A/N: This is your last warning. Flames will be mocked and then disregarded. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's not f*cking rocket science! Now that's out of the way, let me explain 2 things to you all: 1) This was thought up during a discussion with Mary-Jo (GoT) about Legolas. I came to the conclusion that, if I had read the book before seeing the film, I probably wouldn't like Legolas, at all. He's so damn poncy in the book! Mary-Jo suggested that we write it and post it, so we have! YAY! 2) I've said it before and I'll it again. I'm no good at thinking up proper LotR style names. But she's actually called Christina for two reasons. She hates Legolas (there's no proper reason why, she just does) and Orlando Bloom's girlfriend is Christina Ricci (F*cking b*tch). Therefore, if I make her hate Legolas it will make me feel better. Simple! The second reason you shall find out at the end! And, in case you were wondering, she's a, sort of, alternative personality for Michelle. Anyhoo, I hope you like it. We do! Some of the ideas had us in stitches! R&r, blah, blah, blah! You don't need to be told. Luvs Elfie xXxXx
______________________
Once again, this is Guardian of Tears, Elfie's not here as she's on holiday blah, blah, blah. (Read chapter 15 of 'A new enemy' for the full story). Now I'll just let you read, alright.
READ!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 1
"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear." Gandalf walked over and stood behind Frodo. Aragorn stood up from his seat.
"If, by my life or death, I can protect, I will. You have my sword."
"And you have my bow." Legolas stepped forward.
"And my axe." Gimli stepped forward, also, and shot a dark look at Legolas. Boromir walked toward the hobbit.
"You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is, indeed, the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done."
"Here! Mr Frodo's not going anywhere without me!" Sam leapt out from behind a bush and ran to his master's side.
"No, indeed, it seems hardly possible to separate you. Even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not." Elrond said with a smirk. Two other hobbits appeared from their hiding places.
"Oi! We're coming too! You'd have to send home, tied up in a sack, to stop us!" said Merry.
"Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this type of mission. quest. thing." Pippin said, confidently.
"Well, that rules you out, Pip." Merry whispered. And fairly young woman shoved her way through the middle off the nine men, very ungracefully.
"And you can have my. um. me! Yeah, you can have me! I would say sword, he already said it." She said.
"Christina, you can't go." Said Elrond, unenthusiastically. He would actually be glad when she went. This was just part of the plan to make her more determined to go. He was often lumbered with her. When the total population of Rohan were on the verge of suicide (because of her), she was sent to Rivendell for whatever reason they could think of. She turned to look at him.
"And why not? That's what I was sent here for."
"That's not the point."
"That's exactly the point. I'm the only representative of Rohan, so I'm going. Got that? I'm going." She glared at Elrond and then looked expectantly at the others. They nodded their heads anxiously
"So be it. You shall be the fellowship of the Ring." Elrond said, monotonously.
"Good." She said. "Now who have we got here?" They were standing in a line and, as she pointed to each of them, they said their names. "But no titles." She warned.
"Frodo."
"Sam."
"Merry."
"Pippin."
"Aragorn."
"Legolas."
"Gandalf."
"Boromir."
"Gimli." Christina was a very stereotypical person. She had only to glance at a person and she made a judgement. But, the weird thing was, she was very often right. The predictions she made about fellowship were (in the order they said their names):
"Gay, gay, gay, gay, glory-hunter, very gay, pervert, obsessed. what is that?"
"Excuse me?" Gandalf said, speaking for all of them.
"Why? What have you done?" said Pippin, but he was ignored.
"They were my preconceptions about you all. In order, if you were wondering. It's a habit. Everyone I've ever met has been summarised into one or two words."
"Why am I very gay?" said Legolas, indignantly. "I'm not gay!" 'There's always one.' She thought.
"Sure, sweetie. Whatever you say." 'The others have accepted what I think of them. But, he has to be difficult.' She decided she didn't like him. "I'll have you know, I'm rarely wrong about these things."
"Well, I'm telling you now, you're wrong this time!"
"If you say so." She started to walk away. "Call me when you're going." And she was gone.
"That's why we don't need women." Legolas said, once she'd left. "Remind me why she has to go."
"Because she is NOT staying here!" said Elrond.
A/N: Not very funny, as yet, but it'll be funny later. Like most things I do, the better ideas are further into the book/film. Anyhoo, I'll go now! Luvs Elfie xXxXx
Final Note: Please review as Elfie would love to have some reviews to come back to. ~Guardian of Tears