Taste the Rain

Epilogue

Opening my eyes, I feel the sudden urge to throw up. Frantically, I heave, shaking like a leaf as I empty my stomach. I lean against the wall once I am done, exhausted and wishing for peace. But it can't come, it can't ever come. Forever, I will be alone.

Shaking, because I'm out of hot water and now the cold just cascades over me like ice, I slowly gain my feet, swaying back and forth. The glass bites into my soles as I climb out of the shower, clawing through my flesh, but I barely notice.

I stand in one place, slowly drying myself with the tiny towel. It's a hand towel, one I bought rather cheaply. Money is not exactly the easiest thing for me to come by, at least not right now. I'll need more of it soon enough.

Without bothering to get dressed, I clamber over to my ratty couch, where a large, thick blanket waits for me. I put my bleeding feet up on the couch and wrap myself tightly in the blanket. I close my eyes, forgetting for a moment where I am.

"Alfred, can I have some warm milk please. Bruce, bring a book, I wanna read. Come sit with me."

I wait, eyes closed, for the drink to come and for warm arms to circle me, scooping me up and swinging me around like he always did. But, it never comes and I sit in the silence and the cold, alone, all alone. Opening my eyes, a feel a few tears stream down my cheeks. Then, I curl into a ball beneath the blanket, my head on the armrest.

I have nothing left, nothing but memories and a gaping hole where, once, so much love had been. It hurts even more than it did when I never knew what was supposed to fill it. Having felt that love doubles the pain.

Tomorrow, I'll go out and get some money. I'll find a better place to live, some food, some men maybe. I'll find a home and a purpose, do something, anything, so that I have what I don't right now. I'll forget Bruce and his home, my old life and everything I left behind there.

But tonight… tonight I'll remember. Tonight, I'll mourn him, my friend, my brother, my father. Tonight, I don't have to pretend or forget. Tonight, I'll dream.

"Bruuuce, I'm tired, can we go read. I wanna read something happy."

"Feeling down Blue Jay?"

"Maybe just a little."

"Relax kiddo, it's ok to feel sad sometimes. Just never forget to taste the rain."

The End