okay so here it is. my new story. :) taken quite a break from writing but i am back. i hope you all enjoy it!

this takes place starting at the when David breaks Olivia's heart. :p the first few lines/scene is straight from the episode (in italics). then after the italics the story is all my own.

Disclaimer: i DO NOT own SVU or its characters, just the ideas of the story. we all know if someone else other than who actually does own it then Elliot and Olivia WOULD get together with lots of sexy times. lol.

if the idea has been done already, which i know it probably has been somewhat, i tried my best to be original with it. but if anyone has a problem, please PM me or leave a review with your concerns.
Enjoy! :)

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Sitting at the bar, he looked straight ahead as he spoke. She saw the look on his face. He was saddened by what he was thinking. Then he started speaking the words she had feared the most.
"You know that.. that means-"

"I know." She cut him off, her voice trembling from the tears that were already forming in her eyes. "Us. This... never happened." She looked at him as she said it, the realization of her words hitting her as he continued to stare forward.

The tears began to fall as she got up from the bar and walked away from him.
"Liv," he said before realizing it was to late. She was already gone, and there was no stopping her.

She walked out into the rain. It blended with the tears that were now falling uncontrollably. She just wanted to get home and try to forget everything that had happened in the past couple months, and a cab was quicker than walking the distance. She felt stupid, worthless, and like there was no hope for her to find love.

There was one person that knew her better than she did sometimes. He knew everything about her. She knew everything about him. He left her just like every other man in her life. It was not just some other person that she couldn't trust. It was her partner, now ex-partner, Elliot Stabler. She missed him every day. Olivia wondered if he ever thought about her like she thought about him. She missed having him around to talk to. She missed his smell, his presence, his smile-

She shook herself out of it. She couldn't go too far into her thoughts and she knew that. It didn't do any good for anyone. It hurt her more knowing it was too late to do anything about it.

The cabbie arrived at her apartment and she paid him without another word. She walked into her building and took the familiar elevator ride up to her floor. Olivia walked towards the door and felt like something was off, but couldn't tell what. She thought she was being paranoid, but just in case, reached for her gun as she put the key in the lock to open her door. It was locked, which she concluded was strange if someone was breaking in. She almost laughed at herself. She sighed and took her hand off her holster.

Olivia figured the night she had made her go a little more into cop-mode than usual.

She flipped on the lightswitch and turned around. All she saw was someone on her couch and pulled her gun quickly.

"Hey, Liv," he said quietly. She could not believe what she was seeing, or hearing. She couldn't speak at all from the shock that overtook her. It was him. Elliot, on her couch, in her apartment. Her heart was racing as she continued to stare with disbelief. Her gun was still pointed at him in a loose grip and stance. She wasn't going to shoot. She couldn't bring herself to move.
"Are you okay?," he asked, seeing her dissheveled appearance and noticing her non-speaking state. Her voice was caught in her throat.

She couldn't bring herself to saying no or anything else. Admitting she wasn't okay was a very hard thing for Olivia, and knowing Elliot saw right through her was terrifying.

All the memories flooded back to her as if it happened yesterday. Jenna, saying goodnight to him after that horrible day, just to come back to work the next day and not seeing him, packing up his desk when Cragen told her he had officially put in his papers. That was one of her worst fears and it had happened. It had become all too real for her then. She had so many days and nights of wondering where he was, wondering if he was okay. Now he was there, in front of her. She didn't know what to believe.

He got up from his spot on the couch and started walking towards her. She regained her lost voice, feeling angry now over everything that had happened.
"What the hell are you doing here?," she asked. Of all the questions she had for him, that was the only one she could form. He stopped a few feet in front of her as he answered, lowering her gun to her side.

"I came back, I miss you, the team, my job," he answered honestly. "Kathy threatened to leave, again because of the job, and I finally let her go. For good Liv. Then Jenna, and...," he paused, remembering Jenna, and the chaos of Kathy leaving. It didn't hurt him as much as it scared him. "It only took me long enough to realize I didn't love her anymore. I-"

She cut him off. "Elliot, you didn't just leave the job when you left. You left... you left me," Olivia whispered towards the end, feeling her voice leave her again as she stared at the ground, trying to hold back the tears forming. She didn't cry often, and when she did it was worth crying over.

"I know, Liv, and I can't explain how sorry I am or how much I regret leaving.. I should have said something. It just didn't-"

"It didn't what, Elliot? It didn't make sense to you to tell the people that care about you that you were leaving? Or you couldn't deal with what happened? Sorry isn't going to fix this!," she said angrily throwing her hands in the air as she spoke. The more he spoke the more it pissed her off and upset her.

He continued to move closer to her. "I know... Sorry is only the start. I need you to know I am not leaving like that ever again."

"How do I know that? You did it once before what the hell is stopping you from doing it again?" She looked up to see him closer than he should be. Their shoes were almost touching at the toes. "What are you doing?," she asked, not sure what had gotten into him.

"It's you," he whispered.

"What... what are you talking about?," she asked, still not sure about any of this.

"You are going to be what stops me from leaving again. You are what brought me back," he said leaning in closer to her lips. She wanted to move, but the wall behind her prevented any movement. He brushed his lips against hers and she felt the rush of goosebumps. Not from being cold and freezing, but from him. His kiss was soft, and she wanted more of it.

There was so many thoughts and feelings rushing through her. She wanted it to stop, but she wanted it so much, too. The kiss deepened and it became insistent between them. Her hands wrapped around his neck as his hands found her waist. She had to stop this before it got out of hand, but it was perfect. She fought her heart and her head.

How can I stop when it's all I've ever wanted?

It may ruin what we have as friends.

They broke apart and she tried catching her breath.
"El," she said, their faces close. "Stop," she said breathlessly. Her head won. "You aren't thinking clearly. I'm not thinking clearly, and if I were I would tell you the same thing... This.. can't happen."

He looked at her, stunned at what she just said. He backed off a bit trying to think of what to say or do.
"Liv, didn't you hear me? Kathy and me. We're over. The kids are older, except Eli but they will understand. They have seen me unhappy for years. Why can't we?," he pleaded with his blue eyes, now filled with fear and sadness.

She struggled to regain control of her breathing and body. "We can't..." She could hardly get the words out. It killed her. Her heart, her body wanted this, but she could not do this right now.

"You should go," she said quietly. She finally was able to control herself enough to walk to the door and open it. She stood there as he was still shocked. He composed himself enough to go. He turned around as he hit the doorway, and looked at her as she was trying to avoid his eyes.

She finally looked up, and when she did he spoke. "Bye, Liv," he said saddened.

"Bye," she responded. He turned his back and walked away. She didn't know what this meant. Were they friends? All she knew was she closed the door on him, and her heart.

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what did you think? i am thinking there is more planned for the story... if you want it! next up, she goes to work, and finds a surprise there she was not expecting...
reviews are very encouraged...and i might post faster if everyone likes it! :) you can leave me one here or twitter - SVU_fan4life
i ask nicely for no hateful reviews. i know i am not the best but really, hate does nothing for my writing lol.