After several letters from her muggle friends complaining about the speed of communication, Hermione finally got the courage to ask Professor Dumbledore if cell phones were allowed. He didn't know what they were, so she explained, and he didn't seem to have any problem with it. So, she invented a spell to charge it without electricity, and brought her Smart Phone to Hogwarts for her 5th year.

Harry was really jealous, as his crazy aunt and uncle would never even consider buying him a phone. But I pointed out that he didn't have any muggle friends to call anyway, so he relented. I spent the entire train ride showing off to Ron and Ginny, who had recently been introduced to a corded telephone, and utterly astonished by the small black square in my palm that did so much.

After the feast, I found out that the entire Gryffindor tower happened to have great service, so I called my friends a lot in my spare time, always putting my studies first, of course. Ginny always wanted to talk to my friends, but it was difficult, as she had to watch what she said so carefully. Natalie seemed to like her, and decided to write to her. I proof read Ginny's letters, of course, and explained some of the more muggle-y terms.

I was glad Natalie still used the complicated mailing system my parents and I had cooked up: they gave their letters to my parents, who would owl them to me (which is hard in a suburban area), and in turn would give my replies to them.

Cassandra was always a bit of a snob, going on and on about boys. Holli was crazily interested in my school, which I loved talking about. Especially in front of Ron, who I had described as a dangerous, hot ginger I had my eye on.

My first phone call, in the Gryffindor common room, Cassandra, Holli, and Natalie were having a sleepover, and decided to let me join.

"So, is that dangerous, hot ginger in the room?" Cassandra said.

"Yeah, he's right here," I said, giggling as I looked at Ron, stuffing his face with Cauldron Cakes.

"Let me talk to him!"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because then you'd know what a ditz he is!" At this, Ron looked up, and I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

"Are you talking about me?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am, but I love that the word 'ditz' is your clue!" I laughed again, explaining to my friends that he looked up when I said 'ditz'. Ron's ears and cheeks turned redder than the licorice wand he had moved on to.

"Okay, so explain this to me again; there are four houses?" Holli asked.

"Yes, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and that other one that sucks."

"And you get sorted how?"

"It's like a personality test."

"What personality is what house?"

I sighed happily, just itching to spread my superior knowledge of Gryffindor's awesomeness and Slytherin's suck-y-ness. "Gryffindors are brave, strong, cool, noble, and amazing at everything!" I said loudly. The common room cheered. I could hear laughing on the phone. Seamus, also familiar with the ways of muggles, told me to put it on speaker, as the entire common room was now listening. "Ok, be quiet!" I hissed, turning the speaker on.

"What about Hufflepuff? That one sounds silly!" The common room laughed. "What was that? Are we on speaker?"

"Yeah. Anyways, Hufflepuffs are really nice and sweet and loyal, and they make the very best friends. And, yeah, they are kind of picked on 'cause their name is silly, and nobody really takes them seriously. Anyway, Ravenclaws are, like, the smart ones."

"Then why aren't you in Ravenclaw?" Cassandra said.

"Okay, first of all, because Gryffindor is way cooler-" another cheer "and also, it's not, like, knowledge-smart, so to speak. It's more like, they don't think inside the box, or outside the box, they'd try to figure out why there was a box in the first place, you know?"

"That still leaves one more . . ." Holli said. The booing in the common room was louder than the cheers. I laughed loudly.

"The Slytherins! We have this rivalry with them! Because everyone knows they suck! A Slytherin is evil, conceited, snobby, rude, disrespectful, and every negative adjective you can think of!" A little cheering.

"Your biased!" Cassandra accused.

"No, I'm not! Even the Hufflepuffs hate them! And they love everyone!"

"Whatever, one day you'll look at one and think 'Hey, he's kinda sexy . . ." The common room filled with disgusted cat calls, and a few girls, including myself, screamed.

The girls on the phone laughed hysterically.