"You should probably," he says, "tell me not to do this." My mouth stays shut. I was willing to let him do whatever he wanted to me. His soft lips brush my cheek, and a chill runs through my body. "If you want me to stop, tell me now." A restrained moan escapes my throat, encouraging him. "Or now." His hand traces the line of my cheekbone. "Or now." He moves in to kiss me. "Or-" But I stop him by smashing my lips against his. They move in synchronization, too gentle. I never wanted to be treated gently, especially now. I pull him closer, as he groans softly, and wraps his arms around me. He rolls on top of me, pressing me deeper into the rocks and shards of glass. My shoulder screams out in pain, and I stop to breathe. Butterflies run through my body as Jace kisses my neck. I tug off his jacket, and slip his shirt over his head. He kisses me again, more aggressive, as my hands trail over his body. I mean, really, with a body like Jace's, who wouldn't want to be all over it? I go along his scars; every part of him is marked by lines that feel like thin wiry veins.

He reaches for my jacket, our lips still connected, with unsteady hands. I laugh, for the obvious reason that I have never seen Jace unsure, nervous. I kiss him one last time, and say, "I'll do it," finishing the buttons. He chuckles, and stops my hands from moving.

"I'm nervous." I roll my eyes.

"Mmm, why?" I mumble. I try to resume kissing, but all the urgency is gone. He is such an ass!

"Because you're Clary Fray, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." I snort.

"Why don't you make your move then?"

"Because I like teasing you…" I laugh again as his lips make delicate patterns across my jaw. I pull his lips to mine. None of the earlier urgency is present, and it is pissing me off. In a split second, my shirt is in the grass, Jace's hands on the button of my jeans. He unzips them, and I stare into his eyes. The amber irises stare back as his hands move to my face, brushing back a piece of hair. My breasts push against his chest, rising and falling with his breaths. He swallows loudly, then kisses me. My hands go to his button, and with one motion, I unzip and unbutton his jeans. I snake my hands into his boxers, and we laugh at the same time. He blushes, and I laugh even harder.

"Really Jace?" He laughs again. "Manscaping?"

"Well, what do you expect me to do in my free time?" I pull my hand out, and he falls onto his back. We laugh again as I grab his hand.

"I'm sorry. It's just extremely hilarious. I never thought…" I giggle, and he looks at me. "If we are going to do this, can we go deeper in the grass?" He laughs, angelic chimes mixed with a deeper base. He stands up, pulling me with him. My arms encircle his neck, and he lifts me to where I straddle his waist. Our lips meet, and my sense of anything but Jace vanishes.

Then, in a movement, I'm back on the ground, in a more padded area. Jace tugs down my pants as I wriggle out of them. I reach for his, but his words stop me. "Cute." He sees my perplexed look, and points to my matching penguin covered underwear and bra. I pull off his jeans, his fingers lace into my panties, and I moan his name. My breathing becomes uneven as he takes his time with me. He kisses my chest softly, moving all the way down to my pelvic bone. He brings my legs up and around his neck, lightly kissing my inner thighs. I sigh once he finally comes back up, repeating the trail. He looks at me, his eyes dark. I nod once, and he kisses me.

I don't know how to describe the state I was in. Of course, I have dreamed about this moment a number of times, but I never thought it would be this… euphoric. Outstanding. Amazing. It was like I was trapped under water, and at the last minute, I broke the surface. "I love you," I whisper, pulling him in to kiss me. When our lips meet, my body turns into a live wire, all endings of my nerves igniting. I push him over into the grass, my hands resting just below his belly button. I grind my hips into his, pressing harder and harder each time. His breathing becomes staggered, and I kiss him deeply.

"I love you, Clary," he says breathlessly. "I love you so much." I close my eyes and lean into his hand, which cups the side of my face. His other clamps down on my waist, egging me on. Its kind of thrilling, when you think about it. I mean, we are only twenty minutes from civilization, having sex, in the grass. I guess I'm suddenly adventurous, because I am surely enjoying it. Jace must be too; his moans of ecstasy rattle from beneath me. He laughs, as if reading my mind. "This doesn't bother you, at all?" I stop, and ponder this.

"No, not really." He turns me over, and kisses me. Like always, I forget to breathe, and I am gasping for air within ten seconds. Even then, his lips don't leave my skin; they move down my throat, to my chest, and across my stomach, then make the pattern back. He kisses me, with me breathing this time, for a few minutes, and then its back to business. He positions his body at an angle, then enters me slowly, cautiously. A low, guttural moan rises from my throat, and I dig my nails into his shoulder blades. His breathing quickens, and I realize something I should have a long time ago.

"The condom," I gasp. He looks at me, stops, and laughs.

"Of course. I have one on right now." I let out my breath and smile, kissing him, and he says, "Don't worry, babe, everything's cool." Babe. He's never called me that before.

In a matter of minutes after resuming where we left off, Jace is giving me all of him, not stopping unless we kiss deeply. When not kissing, I let my hands wonder along his back, from his neck to the small of it, feeling every part of him. Occasionally, I scratch him, making him groan in reply. And then he slows, his lips exploring mine, discovering new things about me. Like how when he bites the corner of my lip, my hips arch upward. Or when he pulls my hair, gently, that low moan escapes my mouth, leaving me breathless.

At that moment, he stops. Completely and totally, falling onto me, out of breath, and satisfied beyond recognition. He gazes into my eyes, and I wipe his now bronze hair away from his face. He does the same for me, and I smile.

"Can I tell you something?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah." He rolls to the grass beside me, and props himself up on one arm.

"You were my first," I whisper. I don't meet his eyes, and I feel the blood rush to my face. I feel a cool finger underneath my chin, turning my face toward his.

"You are mine too." He says this so wordlessly, I barley hear him. I can tell by the way his eyes stare into mine with determination that he's not bullshitting me.

"I love you. More than anything. Anyone. And I always will." A tear gathers in his eye.

"Why does it have to be like this?" he says, finally confronting the issues at the front of our minds. He continues. "I love you Clary. And God just has to find a way to fuck it up. Ever since I laid eyes on you, I knew what I felt, and I cant ever go back." He looks into the sky, now purple, and filled with stars. "I bet he's watching us. Laughing. Knowing that, for one, we just sinned, and for two, we will never be able to be together." He looks at me, then back at the sky. "Are you happy? Driving us together, then making us be apart? The only thing I don't understand is why? Is it because of my arrogant ass? For our upbringing?" He pauses. "Well, I have one thing to tell you." He leans in and kisses me, a spark in the dark night that only we can see. "You'll never take her away from me. You made me lover her, so I will. Every day. For the rest of my existence. No matter what."

I am quite empowered by his speech, but I just lay against his chest, kiss him, and drift into sleep. I murmur one thing before I close my eyes.

"No matter what."