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Zuko

X

I received the letter exactly eight days ago. It was brief, written in a hand-writing so unlike hers. She was distraught, I can tell by the way her cursive strokes were that much more messy, the way she used the words 'I need you now', she'd refused to tell what had happened, she didn't want me to worry, or so I am assuming. Katara has never been the kind of person who would keep secrets unless the secret would hurt someone she loves.

I sigh softly as I sit at my desk trying to keep as calm as possible. Something terrible must have happened to her, if not, why did she want to see me so urgently? Why didn't she just state her business in the letter? I don't know because I don't want to know, because I don't want to feel her pain. It's selfish of me really but I cannot bring myself to care. I've been hurt by this woman too many times than I would bother to count.

There is a knock on the door and I move out of my seat to answer it. The letter lays on my desk and I don't know why but I am reluctant to show it to anyone.

"Sir, the ship will be docking in a half's hour", it is Admiral Jee, the man who worked with me during my time hunting the avatar. He's come to inform me of this personally and I know just why. He is concerned and although he would never admit it, I can see it in his grave features. He is deeply perplexed by me being cooped up in the ship's office and refusing to exit. A leader who doesn't lead is not a leader at all. And that is why he is worried, because I am not exercising my position as the Fire Lord I have become.

I nod my head at the older man who has always proven his honor in all situations despite the gravity, whom was able to stand up against a prince who was neglecting his men's safety and for that I admire this man deeply.

"Is there anything else my lord?" he asks with concern engraved on his face and I shake my head dismissing him and his worries. He walks away and allows me back into the office which doors I close tightly because I not only need the privacy but crave it. The missive lays limply on my office table and I read it again.

To Zuko:

I need you now.

Katara

I laugh mentally, the lengths I'd go through for Katara. Four words, four and I am here, half way around the earth looking for the woman who once hated me. There are times I cannot understand myself, there are times I look at myself in the mirror and shake my head, the stupidity, the desperation, the little boy who was so broken in spirit, trying to claw his way to peace. I am still that little child, still vulnerable, still afraid.

I stand and tour my little office. It isn't anything fancy, four walls, a wooden desk, a paisho table, and unfortunately, a little something that brings be back to the heartbreaking past. The necklace reflects the sunlight which streams through the window and glistens. Slowly, reluctantly, excitedly, painfully I reach for it, touch it, feel it and caress its stone and then almost as if I've been burnt, I pull my hand back and stare at it with murderous eyes. It's old, a decade old to be exact and it exudes a certain coldness to it, through it i lost my heart and my faith in true love. I carved it here, in this very cabin, on the same route to the South Pole.

One may wonder why I chose to rush through the process, and I can tell you that I did. It was because I had only just woken up one day and decided that I was going to change my life forever and that's what I did, I'd rushed into the first ship setting off, and fashioned the necklace during my journey. I didn't give myself the opportunity to think because I didn't have to that was what I wanted for myself and until this day I am still want that same thing.

There is another knock on the door and I beckon the person to enter. Admiral Jee pokes his head into the cabin and looks at me and I immediately regret not meeting him at the door because as soon as he sees it, his gaze lowers and pity oozes from his eyes as he stares at the necklace in my hands.

"We have docked Sir, is there anything I can get you?" his question does nothing to console me and I shake my head and smile at him reassuringly he nods and head out of the cabin. I look outside the window and see the Water Tribe men in their canoes and that is when I decide that I've finally reached home.

X

"Katara this isn't funny! Zuko yells at his friend as she laughs and run around his frozen form. Damn water benders and their crazy antics. Zuko tries to wriggle himself out of his icy cold predicament in vain and almost breathes fire when she continuously runs around him, teasing him for what he is unable to do. He hates her, he is sure of it because his legs are freezing and his arms are stuck and he doesn't know what to say but he hates her.

"I don't know about that Zuko, I rather like you frozen! Hm, maybe I should freeze that mouth of yours too eh?" Zuko exhales fire and she backs away slightly. "Oooohhhh, feisty", she teases and continues to embarrass her old friend. Zuko is honestly regretting taking her to Ember Island. This was not his idea of a beach vacation but she obviously doesn't care about how he feels since she is still running around his half-naked, frozen form.

"I hate you!" he shouts but that just seems to fuel her laughter even more and he despises it.

"Oh come on be fun!" she pouts slightly and his eyes grow murderous. She laughs even more at this and he cries out. What was wrong with her? Mai was about her age and she was so calm and collected, Ty Lee was crazy but nothing like Katara, Toph was normal, a little snarky but still normal. And so he wonders what on earth is wrong with this crazy waterbender? It must be the full moon he concludes as he looks up at Yue.

"Are you crazy? Let me out!" he shouts at her and wriggles some more, she is even more tickled and laughs yet again.

"Oh Zuko darling, you love me, I'm your best friend!" she yells in a high pitched voice and he laughs drily.

"Oh really? Well, I hadn't realized!"

All Katara does is freeze his mouth in position and then laughs again.

Katara

X

I stand in silence. The silence is stifling, I feel like yelling, throwing a tantrum, shouting, screaming, being a child again but that cannot happen. I glance down and look at my daughter. She looks back up at me, her eyes glistening with innocence as she holds my hand and stuffs her left thumb into her mouth. How can I behave like a child when I have a child myself? The question burns into my mind and I decide that I cannot be. I have to be strong for my daughter if not for myself. There is nothing more important than this precious soul.

I shake my head and try to blink away the tears that have been threatening to fall for the past eight days. Aang meant everything to me, he was my husband, my lover, the father of my daughter, he was everything that one could ask for, he was my rock. And now he's gone. I bite my lower lip and almost draw out blood. This is better, I decide. This is much better than feeling numb.

When I was a child, I cut myself while helping my mother prepare dinner. The tip of my finger came right off and I stared at it, like I was looking at a constellation of stars. And I watched it, watched the blood ooze from the wound and stain the ice table we were working on. The blood kept coming but I didn't seem to feel anything. That's how I feel now. I am numb. Aang is dead and so am I and I cannot feel anything. All I am now is that little girl who is has just had the tip of her finger sliced off and who doesn't do anything about it, cannot do anything about it.

I remember after she saw it, my mother rushed me to the healing tent where my Gran Gran sewed it back on. The other children marveled at the fact that I didn't yell when the sewing began but I knew better, I was just numb. I wasn't brave like how the village women put me out to be. I didn't feel anything and it took my mother to make me realize just what had actually happened to me.

That was why I wrote to Zuko. I needed him, I needed him to tell me that everything wasn't going to be okay, I needed somebody to remind how much pain I was going through, I needed someone like Zuko, someone who would be honest with me no matter what.

There is slight wetness on my cheek. At first I think it was a snowflake that melted on my skin but upon closer inspection it isn't a snowflake, it is a tear drop. Have I been crying? I immediately bore my sleeve into my eye. The force is greater than necessary but I don't really care. Pain is what I welcome now, I need it.

I am curious however, why I am not feeling anything. And that is when I decide that I cannot feel pain because I cannot afford to feel it. If I were to allow myself the pleasure of feeling pain, I would die from it because this world is so cruel and so full of sorrow that I cannot allow myself to contract it.

My daughter tugs at my arm and I look down at her. She is pointing at Aang's corpse and rushes to him screaming "I want Daddy! I want Daddy!" and instead of breaking down at this point and allowing my tears to fall freely from my eyes, I bite them back and stifle the cry that so desperately wants to come because I cannot acknowledge the pain, I cannot allow myself to feel it because if I did, there wouldn't be any more reason for me to live. And so wordlessly and tearlessly, I pick my child up from where she is screaming and hold her in my arms. She is all that remains of her father and I am not about to let that go.

There is a sound coming from the entrance of the tent and I turn around and look at the man standing there. He is tall, well-built, has short hair and is wearing clothes that are all too familiar to me. He steps into the room and that is when I allow my bravado to disappear. I collapse into his arms and wail like there isn't a tomorrow. I allow myself to beat at his chest and cry out like a child and he doesn't judge me, he will never judge me because he loves me all too much. I remember his face when he presented me with the betrothal necklace he had carved. I remember the dry laugh and tears that came simultaneously as he stared at me as if that were the last time he would see me and the way he turned away after he had enough pain to last him a lifetime.

And then he was at my wedding and then he was gone and I never saw him again, not until now. He looks at me and stares, his face rigid as he allows his tears to fall also. After all, Aang was as much my husband as he was Zuko's brother. And then we are on the ice floor weeping for a man who's life was recently lost.

A/N: Please review! I don't really know where this story is going so please help me out with that by giving me some feedback hopefully this will get me at least 25 reviews? Please?