Bully
Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious
Okay guys this is just something I have been working on. I hope you guys like it.
Enjoy!
Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Am I really seeing this?
I walk over to the table forcing a smile keeping myself calm when all the time I'm crying wishing my eyes were really was playing tricks but their not, this is real. And realty is a bitch.
"Hey, Jade." I greet and she looks at me with wide eyes and mouth open wide. I look over to the blonde with blue eyes who just gives me a friendly smile that I really want to smack off her face but I can't be mad at her. I'm sure there's a good chance she doesn't know about Jade and I. "Hey, I'm Tori I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner I just saw my… friend and thought I would come by and say 'hey'." I say gesturing to Jade as I say friend, knowing she's more then that. I look at Jade and I can tell she's shocked at how calm I am because she still didn't close her mouth.
"Oh no don't worry about it. It's always nice to meet a friend of Jade's." The blonde says in a sincere tone smiling at me like a moron. See? Told you she doesn't know.
"Yeah, its nice to meet you too. Are you her girlfriend or something?" I asks that dreadful question still forcing a smile.
"Yes I am, today is our 2 month anniversary." Once those words come out of her mouth, my heart drops to my stomach into a million pieces. I fight hard to keep my eyes from getting watery. I fight so hard my head starts to hurt.
"Really?" My voice cracks as I look at Jade and you can see the guilty look in her eyes and on her face. "Wow that's great," No it's not. It fucking sucks. "Okay well I'm a leave you two love birds alone. Enjoy your dinner." I look Jade right in her blue eyes that I hate so much right now. I force a "Happy Anniversary." Through gritted teeth and walk away before her or her girlfriend could say anything.
Once I make it outside of 'Olive Pit' I break down. Tears come down hard and fast. Sobs tearing my body apart. I try to walk but the tears that are clouding my version is makes it hard.
"Tori wait!" I hear Jade call after me but I don't stop. I hear the thumping of her shoes hitting the pavement. "Tori please!" She yells after me and I walk faster trying to get to my car quickly. When I make it there, I get inside quickly and lock the door. Jade comes to driver side banging on the window. "Open the door Tori." I shake my head crying starting the car. I can't do this right now. So much pain. "Tori please open the door." She begs trying to open the locked door and I cry harder not able to get the image of her and in the blond kissing out of my head. I bang my head against the steering wheel closing my eyes tightly. Wishing that all of this was just a dream. Wishing the heartache was because my dog died. But I don't have a dog so that makes it worse.
I finally take my head off the steering wheel looking at Jade who's looking at me with watery pleading blue eyes. I shake my head at her before putting the car in reverse. Then I level a glare at her, letting her know to move before she gets hit. She moves away from the car and I don't give her a second look has I pull away crying all the way home.
LINE BREAK
I lay in 'our' bed crying my eyes out. I keep trying to figure out why. Why would she do this to me?
Jade and my history isn't the best. She used to physically and mentally abuse me. The gang tried to get her to stop or at least get her to lay off but every time they tried, it just got worse. So I told them to stop trying but I thanked them for their help. I fall in love with my bully.
One night at a party a Northridge guy made an attempt to rape me but Jade stopped him. Day and night I tried to figure out why Jade stopped him. I thought she would be happy that he raped me.
I wanted to thank her for helping me but every time I tried to she would just hit me, say something harsh, or just walk away. I stopped trying to say thank you and once I did that the abuse got even worse. I tried to fight through it but the things she said and did to me hurt so badly. I wanted to kill myself.
So I tried. I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills but I wake up a week later in a hospital with a crying Jade at my side.
Flashback
"Jade?" I call her name weakly my voice coming out horse. Confused has to why she's here. Her head snaps up at looking at me with wide red puffy eyes.
"Oh my god Tori." Jade cries out sounding happy and relieved more tears falling from her blue eyes.
"What are you doing here?" I ask wincing at the pain in my throat. Jade goes over to the sink with a plastic cup coming back giving it to me.
"Here drink this." I take the cup drinking the water slowly feeling the cool liquid ease my burning throat. I finish the water and Jade takes the cup sitting back down next to me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask again it comes out more clear. She starts to cry again dropping her head, before she looks back up at me.
"I came to your house last week after I said," she chokes back a sob looking up at me still crying before she continues. "The day I said I hated you. I came to apologize for every fucked up thing I did and said to you. When I got to your house I found you on the bathroom floor with the empty pill bottle in your hand and I thought you were dead." She starts to sob after the last part. I'm still confused.
Why did she come back to apologize not that I didn't want it its just why? "I came to apologize because the look in your eyes when I said I hated you. It looked like that was the final straw. Like you had enough." She's right. I did have enough. I didn't feel like I had a reason to live anymore.
I open my mouth to talk but she cuts me off.
"I wanted to get to you before it was too late and I thought it was." She starts to sob really hard again. This is a true surprise. I have never seen Jade like this before. She wasn't even like this when she broke up with Beck. "The only reason I treated you the way I did was because I really liked you and I tried to hide my feelings or make them go away by being cruel to you. Tori I am so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. Everything I've done or said to you I'm sorry. I don't think I can say sorry enough to prove how sorry I am. I don't think I can do anything to prove how sorry I am. Just know that I really do love you. Love you more then a friend. I don't want to be your friend Tori. I want to be your lover." I feel dizzy. Jade starts to become a burry figure and her voice starts to fade before everything goes black.
A few hours later.
I open my eyes slowly trying to remember what happened. Oh right Jade was crying and telling me how sorry she is and that she loved me. Jade West loves me. I would be lying if I said I didn't have some type of feeling for her. I didn't love her but I liked her a lot.
"Tori?" I look over to my left and see Jade again. What the fuck? Is she like the only one here to visit something or me? "Damn it Tori you scared the hell out of me." Jade cries out sounding scared, relived, and angry.
"What happened?" I asked and that horse voice comes back along with the burning. Jade hands me cup of water again. I down it sighing in relief once I finish.
"If you don't feel the same way Tori that's all you have to say you don't have to pass out on me and scare me half to death." Jade says jokingly making me laugh a little.
"I passed out?" I ask laughing a little more.
"Yeah the doctors said you needed more rest. They said you body hadn't been getting the needed 7 to 8 hours of sleep why?" She asks and I don't say anything I just look down at my folded hands. "Ahh right… me. Tori I really am sorry." Jade tells me and she starts to cry again getting that guilty look on her face.
"Jade, stop crying." I reach out wiping her tears away. " Jade I don't love you but I do like you a lot and I wouldn't mind trying to be more then friends but I don't think it's a good idea right now. We aren't even friends and I would be lying if I said I wasn't still hurting from all the things you did and said to me." I say the last part quietly feeling the tears start to fall as I think about some of the fucked up things she has done to me.
"Please don't cry." She begs me reaching out wiping away my tears. "I understand. We can work on being friends but that doesn't mean I'm not going to treat you like more." She says sounding determined before she stands up leaning over me pushing her lips softly against mine. Her lips are so soft I realized that mine need carmex. But she's kissing me like they are as soft has hers and it's the most wonderful kiss ever.
End of Flashback
That day was the beginning of a great relationship. Jade really owned up her to her word. She treated me so much more then a friend. She was great. All our friends were happy that I was alive, Jade stopped being a gank, and was really happy when we got together.
Also the only reason that Jade was always in the room was because they were taking turns seeing me and it just so happened again that she was there when I woke up.. She was really happy that she was there both times I woke up because she said once I wake up she wanted to apologize right away. She said she didn't want to have to wait because she probably wouldn't have had this chance. It's really sweet but now I don't think anything she could do could fix this relationship.
I wipe away my tears but they just come back unable to get her and the blond kissing out of my head. I hold the pillow that I'm cuddling with tighter has I start to sob. I close my eyes tightly trying to stop the tears but they still come through my closed eyes.
I open my eyes slowly after a few minutes of crying seeing the picture of Jade and I on our first date. We are staring at each other smiling the biggest smiles ever. Nothing could ruin that day. Cat took the picture when her and Andre followed us. They just wanted to be nosey. Saying they couldn't wait till the next day to find out what happened.
Just thinking about that day makes me hurt me more and I reach out slamming the picture face down. I roll on my back just looking at the ceiling feeling the tears fall down the side of my face.
"Why Jade?" I ask the dark room. "I thought you loved me." The tears start to pick up again. "We were suppose to get married, but I don't think that's going to happen." I hold my left hand up with the engagement ring on it smiling sadly at it. The day Jade proposed was one of the happiest days of my life.
"Fuck!" I scream suddenly angry sitting up quickly taking the ring off throwing it at the wall. Burying my face in my hands. When Jade proposed was on our four-year anniversary at that same place and same table. Today is our anniversary. I never knew love could hurt this bad. I guess this is what I get for falling in love with my bully.
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